The Dating Misfortunes of Paige Turner

By S.M. Knowles

Is it possible for a princess to meet her Prince Charming for the first time and fall in love? Are the princesses we read about kidding themselves, or do they just settle? Happily ever after is something all women dream of as children, but how does someone meet that one exquisite man then run off and marry him? Rubbish!

The men Paige Turner has met have had something terribly wrong with them or just aren't charming at all.

Paige has only ever felt love from a boy long ago, and is finally ready to settle down. The few potentials, however, are colleagues and she has a strict rule in dating men she works with. Holding a job as a paralegal and owning her own home, Paige has made her decision to get serious in her dating efforts.

After several attempts to find the guy of her dreams, Paige begins to see a not-so-bright future. Just as she thinks she found the one, he turns out to be something she is not. Luckily for Paige, a few of her friends help her along the way.

Will Paige ever find her Prince Charming? Or is she destined to be a maiden forever?

Each book in the Circle of Friends series is a standalone

• Language: English
• Publisher: S.M. Knowles
• Release date: Jul 31, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370975808

Book preview

Acknowledgments

Thank you to Yuba for giving me one of the best idea ever! A few different people love your suggestion and I hope a lot more do, as well. Jenn, your suggestion was a hit as well. Thanks to both of you ladies for being awesome. Ashley, thank you for catching a little snag. Sometimes it takes fresh eyes to make the writer see the real meaning. As always, thanks to my precious girls for loving to play and swim. They allow me the freedom to write as I watch. Finally, I love my little sister with all my heart. I’m glad we are rock solid.

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Other Books

About The Author

Prologue

Paige, look at you! My mom’s eyes widen as her legs move like swift scissors across the floor, making that irritable swooshing noise from her knee length Valentino dress. Her makeup is smooth enough to make her look like she’s in her young thirties again, but her hair is somewhat out of place and not as charming as she typically does it. Short and perfect in all directions just right above her thin framed shoulders.

Butterflies form in the pit of my stomach, swirling faster with each passing second. Mom. That is not the dress we picked out for you. My hands immediately reach for her skirt as I eye her.

She swats her hand at me and sets her palms on the sides of my shoulders, causing me to dangle my sweaty appendages to my sides. Technicalities, dear. I will be dressed soon. Her voice becomes more high-pitched. Turn for me. Let me see you in your beautiful gown.

I can’t hide my anticipation any longer. The pain and heartache I’ve dealt with for so long in finding the right man has finally paid off. Too damn bad he was right under my nose the whole time. But, I suppose it was worth waiting the extra time to realize what I didn’t want.

Twirling around into a full circle, I finally make it back around and see my mother’s smiling face gleaming back. A twinkle shines in her eye, finally happy that her oldest daughter is tying the knot. I’ve never seen you so happy for me before, Mom.

She leans into me, and her happy smile becomes more of a smirk. Actually, I just got laid by your father.

As she lets out a howl of laughter, I feel my jaw most certainly hit the floor, my eyes glued to hers. No doubt my face is grimacing something horrific. Mother? I hope she’s kidding. Please God, not on my wedding day.

What…? she strings out the word as she moves around me in a slow cat-like walk, her finger circling the air behind her as she rolls her eyes. We were in a taxi. I hiked up my skirt and sat on his lap.

Mom! Stop it right now. This is supposed to be my day. Turning to the full-length mirror that allows me to see my entire dress, I try to refocus on anything but my parents having sex. Ugh! In a taxi at that.

Come on, Paige. Live a little.

Mom, if I told you half the stuff I did growing up, you would be disgusted. I quickly throw my left hand up to my mouth, wishing I could re-tract that last statement. Last thing I need is for my mom to ask me exactly what I’m talking about.

Eh. She walks over to me and reaches for my hair.

No! Ducking out of the way and making it to the other side of the room, I look back at her. I don’t want your hands on me.

Gee, I cleaned up already. she comments, her giddiness trying it’s best not to spew out. Besides, I’m getting ready in a few minutes. My dress is hanging and ready. I’m just waiting for your father to finish his shower.

Thank goodness. I let out a sigh of relief. This man is going to walk me down the aisle. Please, keep yours and dad’s sexual encounters to yourself, Mom.

You’re no fun. Walking over to me, she leans over and kisses my cheek. This is your day. I love you.

I love you, too, Mom. I say as I watch her march to the door and slip out.

Pulling the lip gloss out of my make-up pouch, I run a thin layer across my pout and rub my lips together. A soft knock at the door causes me to turn. Come in, I call, facing the entrance of the room.

As the door opens in towards me, Tiffany walks in, giddy and cheerful. I’m so excited for you. A tear runs down her cheek.

Tears threaten to manifest themselves in my eyes, so I take a deep breath, hoping that it’ll help, and turn away from Tiffany. Please, don’t start the water works.

Walking closer, she fans my eyes with her hands. I’m sorry. This is just such a great day! Who would have ever thought you would be getting married before the rest of us.

Those words yank at my heart strings, causing tears to fill my eyes and ready themselves to fall over the brim. Yeah, I squeak, holding back the crying spell that wishes to push itself out. Taking another deep breath, I let it out slowly. We need to stop. Grabbing a plain piece of paper, I fold it half and fan at my eyes.

Gosh! Who knew? Tiffany’s head sways back and forth as she thinks.

Right! With my eyes finally drying up, I go to her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. A slight whisper leaves my mouth, Thank you for being there for me.

Nodding, Tiff quietly replies, You’re always there for me. Heaving her head away, she firmly keeps her hands on my shoulders. You will be marching down the aisle any minute. Your father is already standing outside.

My mother?

I’m fairly certain Kendra is helping her into her dress. They should be done by now. Pulling a tissue to my eye, she wipes whatever mark was made from an erratic tear that had made its way out. You look perfect. Keep the door open. I will call you as soon as it’s my turn to walk.

OK. More butterflies transform in my neither regions, making this moment almost impossible to fathom, especially after all the guys I’ve dated in the last few years. I know I’ve had my share of losers, but each and every single one just sucked. I really can’t use a different word, because each date I went on ended badly. Although my friends found each and every one funny, I didn’t.

However, looking back on it now, I did have some interesting nuts pop out of nowhere. As good looking as they may have been, none of them measure up to the man I am about to marry. But, before you find out who the lucky man is…wait, scratch that. I’m the lucky one. So, before you find out who the man is that I am so fortunate enough to be marrying, I need to take you back to when I was twenty-three. When I thought I needed to start settling down sooner rather than later. This is the story of my dating misfortunes.

Chapter One

The day was as dreary as a funeral during a storm. Driving back home to my small town wasn’t what I wanted to do, but my friend Kendra made me. She wouldn’t stop talking about how important a five year high school reunion was.

In her upbeat spunky tone, she practically sang, You get to see what everyone has done and what they are doing now.

Holding the wheel a little tighter than attended, my knuckles turned a pasty white. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing. Hell, I see all the updates and life happenings all the time on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and every other social media outlet. I know more about that town than I care to.

Oh, stop. Kendra said jokingly as she opened her phone to see where exactly we were. From what I can tell, we are only about thirty minutes from your parents’ house.

Yup, an hour of my life now wasted.

I could vaguely make out Kendra’s head shaking back and forth in my peripheral vision. In actuality, my town wasn’t that bad. There just wasn’t anything there for me except for family. Small towns were never for me. I would rather live where the excitement of the city was. There was always something to do on almost each block in the metropolitan, and I never really had to worry about a car, because I lived in the middle of everything. Suddenly, warmth surrounded my body, making me yearn to turn the car around.

Kendra and I met in college. We both majored in interior design, although I actually work for a law firm as a paralegal. My job isn’t hard, but it isn’t easy either. At times I feel like I get inundated with senseless work, but I guess it’s important to the lawyer.

My eyes lay heavily on the road, watching the orange-yellow lines quickly pass the car. My mouth opened into a deep O as I yawned, sucking in the fresh air that rolled in from the cracked windows.

Paige!

My mouth quickly snapped shut and my eyes widened as I saw a small blue car coming head-on. Adrenalin rushed throughout my body as I stepped on the break, trying to slow the car down. The other car continued in my lane, so I swerved off to the shoulder where the divots caught the tire, swinging us out into the grassy area of a field.

Holy shit! Shot out of my mouth as I attempted to keep the steering wheel from doing whatever it wants.

It’s all over.

Still sitting snug in my seatbelt, I opened my eyes to see that an enormous, foggy looking tree was the reason we stopped. My eyes shifted over to Kendra. Her head lay in my direction, her eyes wide open.

That has got to be the coolest thing I’ve ever done.

What? I tried to comprehend what she said.

So much more fun than any ride I’ve ever been on. Her head flopped to the other side and a giggle escaped her.

I fumbled around for the seat belt release and couldn’t find it. Kendra, can you help me get unbuckled? I waited on her to answer, but she didn’t say anything. Trying to keep my eyes open, I called out again in a whisper as my body pushed me to my slumber and the world disappeared, Kendra?

 ~ 

My eyes were still shut, but there was light all around me. I felt someone stroking my forehead, pulling their hand from my forehead to the back where a pillow laid. No one spoke as someone comforted me while I lay frozen. Trying to pull my eyes apart became a tough task as they felt like someone had put droplets of superglue along the rims of my lids.

Finally, pulling them open, I noticed the TV was on with no sound. The news played silently as words quickly scrolled across the bottom of the picture.

Paige? A woman suddenly stood above me.

Mom. I faintly let out. Where’s Kendra? Moving my head slightly to the right hurt like fire was pouring throughout my neck. I must have suffered some whip lash. Forcing myself up, I see that the door to my room is cracked open slightly.

She’s fine, dear. She came to about an hour ago. You two went through a huge ordeal. Mom continues to rub my head. It’s a lucky thing you two are still alive.

Heat seeps out of my head, and I try hard to ignore my mother’s over the edge comment. It wasn’t that bad.

Paige, you totaled your car. Her voice became more concerned. "It was that bad." I heard her take a seat back beside my hospital bed from the shuffling of feet.

It was that bad. Kendra announced from the door, slowly closing it behind her. Light footsteps came closer to my bed and stopped. Hello Anna, I’m certain Paige will whip out of this, her whispered words just barely loud enough for me or my mom to hear.

Opening my eyes again, Kendra stood directly over me, smirking. She was trying her darndest not to start laughing because my mom was sitting right beside her. Her eyes were slightly opened in a slant with her mystical jade color eyes looking down at me. Her hand slowly came to her mouth to cover a slight smile.

My insides were about to burst. I knew there would be pain associated with this extreme case of laughter wanting to break the hex of seriousness my mom had crafted in the room. I still tried to remain still though, closing my eyes tightly in hopes the child inside me would subside.

Opening my eyes just a peep, Kendra was suddenly hovering with her smile and bright whites over me. Her grin caught me off guard as she looked like a toothy horse in that instant and all bets were off. The upper half of my body squeezed up into a V as jerks of laughter escaped my diaphragm. My neck felt the pure torture at that moment, but as my laugh began to slow, I felt so much better already.

My mom rose up and eyed both of us. Now Kendra.

Mom’s tone filled with more concern for her at this point that this caused Kendra to have a harder time containing herself. Turning slightly to Anna, which is my mother, Kendra faintly touched her arm, I’m so sorry.

The laughter must have rubbed off on Mom a little as she slightly began to chuckle herself. OK. She sat back down. I give in with you two. Her eyes twinkled back into mine as she focused on me. Paige, you have never been one to be serious. I’m just glad you two aren’t seriously injured.

Reaching over, I grabbed my mother’s hand. Me too.

My eyes wondered back over to Kendra, who had since sat in the seat under the TV. What happened? Last I remember, I was asking you to unlatch my seatbelt.

Yeah. I tried to get over to you, but I had difficulties myself. When I finally got myself freed, you had already passed out. Pushing herself to the edge of her seat, she continues, That scared me. I couldn’t even find my phone fast enough to get help. She glanced down at the apparatus squished between her fist then back up at me. Some guy named John Swenson had seen the entire wreck happen and was pulling us out of the car.

John Swenson? Why does that name sound so familiar? My brain wracked itself to figure out who that might be.

Mom placed her hand on my arm, causing me to face her. A light gasp escaped her lips. Dear, are you feeling alright?

I look left then right, Yes. Why?

Your skin color isn’t normal.

Throwing John’s name around in my memory bank for another moment, I finally came to a conclusion on who the person was. John was the dorky little kid who turned into a total stud in college. His body remained stick thin throughout high school, pimples fought each other for a space on his face, and he donned braces with headgear.

I saw him once on another visit home during my college years. He had done a total three-sixty in the few years after college. His face free of blemishes and straight white teeth set back behind his beautifully plump lips. His body was like that of a football player with wide muscular shoulders and six pack abs. Well, a girl could only assume as he was modest and wore a shirt at all times.

Mysteriously, your color has come back, Paige. What are you thinking about over there?

Reaching for my eyes, I attempted to wipe out whatever was in them. Dirt of some sort, possibly. When can we leave?

As I spoke, the doctor magically arrived in the room. Paige Turner.

A sense of familiarity surrounded me. Dr. Cleaver. Nice to see you again. I smiled ear to ear as I remembered being a little girl. The doctor would always have red lollipops tucked away in his coat jacket for when the appointment was concluded.

Yes, nice to see you, too. Are you ready to leave?

My head started bobbing up and down before I realized it. Yes, please.

He frowned slightly. I think tomorrow morning would be a great time to leave as long as everything is fine during the night. Let me get your vitals first. Slipping on a cuff, he listened and watched his clock.

I looked up at him, trying my damndest to get those little girl doe eyes to work as soon as possible. Doctor, can I please leave today? I mean, you live two doors down from my mom. That’s where I’m staying. For added effect, I drooped my bottom lip just a little.

His eyebrow lifted, showing deeper wrinkles in his forehead. Well, you do have a young, healthy heart. He paused for a brief moment and looked over at Mom, who was smiling back. Giving her a quick wink, he turned his gaze back to me. Let’s try to stay clear of car accidents. Got it?

Believe it or not, this wasn’t my fault.

Right. Looking over at Kendra, he nodded. I got the story from Miss Harvey here. I’m glad you have such a close friend. Patting my leg, he moved away from me and to the door. Your high school reunion is tomorrow. Glad to see you home.

Doing my best to keep my face neutral, I said, Glad to be home. The moment he turned, I grimaced on purpose.

Now, dear.

Damn. I muttered under by breath. Pulling the corners of my lips back into a fake smile, I sat up and threw my legs over the bed. Sorry. I erected up, somewhat cautious at first, and then took a step, Let’s go!

You young girls. Mom spoke up, I don’t understand how your bodies recover so quickly.

Taking in a deep breath, I looked from Kendra to my mom. It wasn’t that bad.

Kendra’s deep moan said something else. Wait till you see your car.

Pausing a moment, I gazed down at the floor before glancing out the door. Yeah. That’s probably a wrecked heap.

Mom grabbed me lightly by my waist and pulled me out the door. The guest suite is already set up for both you and Kendra. I figured, since the bed is king sized, you two wouldn’t mind sharing.

Thank you, Anna. Kendra’s sweet voice showed her sincerity. I really appreciate you allowing me to stay in your home.

Mom viewed over her shoulder at Kendra. You’re welcome, dear. But, really, there is no thanks needed. You girls have grown quite close to Paige.

What my mom meant by you girls was the friendship that had blossomed between our clan of girls—Kendra, Brooklyn, Tiffany, and myself.

Brooklyn and I had met at the firm where I worked. We were the same age and swore we were sisters. The only difference between us was our eyes. Well, there were more differences, but we thought a lot alike. Her eyes were bright blue and her hair just sets them off. They were like a twinkle each time I looked at them. If there was one thing to be jealous over, it would be that. Her nose was small and her eyes were big, round balls. I’d tell her she could pass for one of those anime dolls.

Tiffany was my best friend from my sorority in college. She and I had to go through all those silly maneuvers in order to be even asked to join. During our second challenge, we had to find a guy who would let us douse him with mustard and ketchup in public. Once he was covered head to toe, we had to take our shirts off and rub the nasty condiments all over our bodies. Luckily, her brother was a good sport and let us cover him. Although I was wearing a bathing suit top, I think he enjoyed the action.

Once college was over, Tiffany went to work at her parents’ shop. The shop was about twenty minutes from mine and Kendra’s condo. I wouldn’t have known what to do if she would’ve moved away.

Kendra and I met in college. We were lab partners on a bad experiment gone totally wrong. We grabbed the wrong chemical and managed to blow up our little vile. Since that class, I’ve never even thought about mixing chemicals in fear that the liquid would possibly attack me again.

Mom pulled the car around to the front of the hospital where Kendra and I waited. Slowly pulling forward, she stopped and allowed us to get in. Mom was be-bopping her head to some eighties song as she came to