Forgiving Jesse

By Sara Dean

Seventeen-year-old Jesse hasn't even tried to get along with his mom since his dad left them because he blames her for his dad's leaving. Desperate to have a relationship with her son again, his mom takes a plane on September 11, 2001 to work things out with his father, and never returns. The father Jesse has always hailed as a hero can&

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gypsy Shadow Publishing
• Release date: Mar 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9781619504189

Sara Dean

I live in West Virginia, with my husband and my two young children. I also have several picture e-books and one picture book in print available: Bobby Bunny And The Missing Tooth, published through AKW Books, The Puppy Who Found A Boy, published through Publish America and Clean Clothes For Bobby Bear, through Fairy Tales And Dreams Publishing.

Book preview

Contents

Copyright Page

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Epilogue

About the Author

Forgiving Jesse

by Sara Dean

All rights reserved

Copyright © December, 2010, Sara Dean

Cover Art Copyright © 2010, Charlotte Holley

Gypsy Shadow Publishing

Manchaca, TX

www.gypsyshadow.com

Names, characters and incidents depicted in this e-Book are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or the publisher.

No part of this e-Book may be reproduced or shared by any electronic or mechanical means, including but not limited to printing, file sharing, and email, without prior written permission.

ISBN: 978-1-61950-418-9

Published in the United States of America

First eBook Edition: December 10, 2010

Dedication

To my wonderful husband James, for all of your support and to Lisa Young, thanks for always pushing me on when I was ready to give up. I never would have finished this book without you two.

Prologue

A single flame flickers on one candle in the middle of a chocolate cake. A small boy smiles broadly and reaches out to touch the letters that decorate it.

Mom and Dad stand by singing Happy Birthday and smiling. Their arms are wrapped around each other tightly as they watch their son celebrate his first birthday.

Blow out the candle! his mom calls and he giggles.

His dad reaches out and cuts into letters that spell out Happy Birthday, Jesse.

Chapter 1

16 years later/September 2001

Listen to her purr! I shouted over the roar of my pride and joy, the motorcycle I had just finished fixing up.

My best friend Nicky sat on the floor of the garage, not more than two feet away, but he couldn’t hear me.

I turned the key and the room grew silent. Nicky shook his head and fished in his pocket for another Marlboro. He lit up and took a long drag.

All those hours bagging groceries just to hear that sound. So tell me, man, he paused to take another drag. Was it worth it?

I patted the handlebars. Every second, I said, climbing off my bike and joining him on the floor.

I lit up too, and as I leaned my head against the cold, steel wall, my mind flashed back to the motorcycle I had helped my dad fix up when I was a kid. The one I had now looked a lot like it.

What now? Nicky asked, interrupting my thoughts. The memory faded.

What do you mean?

Well, you spent all summer working at the store and working on that, he pointed at the motorcycle. Now that school’s about to start and your bike’s finished, what are you gonna do?

I shook my head and blew smoke rings. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll quit work and school. Just ride around all day.

Nicky laughed. Yeah, I bet Shandy would really go for that. So would your mom.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Everyone knows that Shandy is the boss in your relationship, and I think she’s gonna want you in school where she can watch your every move. And your mom has the whole high hopes for my kid fantasy.

I laughed. Shandy may think she’s the boss, but she’s not. As for mom, like you said, it’s a fantasy, nothing more.

As if on cue, the garage door opened, and in walked Mom, her arms loaded down with bags of groceries. It was obvious they were heavy, but I didn’t make a move to help her. She was taking the shortcut through the garage which led straight to the kitchen. Nicky saw her, quickly ground out his cigarette and frantically waved away the smoke.

Hello, Mrs. Cramden, Nicky said politely. I ignored her.

Hello, boys, she said cheerfully. Jesse, there’s a whole trunk full of bags. Could you bring some in for me?

Get them yourself, I mumbled and kept puffing away on my cigarette.

If she heard me, she gave no indication. Nicky waited until the door shut behind her, said, You’ve got guts, talking to her like that. My mom would have popped me in the mouth.

I didn’t say a word. What could I say? I always talked to her like that. I hated her and she knew it. Why should I be nice to her?

Nicky reached for another cigarette then put it back.

She knows you smoke, I said.

Yeah, but she doesn’t like it.

I snickered. When did you start caring what my mom likes and dislikes?

He shrugged. It’s a respect thing, you know.

I looked at him long and hard, trying to decide if he was serious. He was. You don’t respect anyone, I said.

Not true, I respect a couple of people, and she’s one of them.

Why? I didn’t respect her and I couldn’t imagine why anyone else would.

Nicky picked up a piece of gravel that was on the garage floor and began flipping it in the air like you would flip a quarter.

Like the way she handled herself the last couple of years. You know, the whole divorce thing and all.

My blood began to boil. How could he take up for her?

He kept his eyes on the gravel in his hand. He didn’t dare look at me. He knew I would punch him if he did.

It was her fault, I exploded, she couldn’t see what she had. If she just wouldn’t have taken Dad for granted, he wouldn’t have had to find someone else. She’s to blame, so quit taking up for her.

That’s when it hit me. How could I have been so blind? You have a thing for my mom! I punched him in the arm, a little harder than I meant to.

Nicky rubbed his arm, Not a chance. But I do wish she was my mom.

No you don’t. Trust me. We dropped the subject as Mom came out of the kitchen and started back towards the car.

Jess, I asked you for some help, she said.

I stood up and climbed on my motorcycle. I have better things to do.

She said something, but her words were drowned out as I started it up.

Nicky stretched his legs and started to stand. Mom raised her voice, but her words were still lost.

I hadn’t ridden yet. I knew she didn’t approve of me riding, she had made that very clear.

She thought it was too dangerous, or some crap like that. Dad would have understood. He rode his every day after work. Once in a while he even took me with him on a short ride. Mom didn’t like me being on it then either, but Dad would tell her that I needed to get used to riding one, because one day he was going to pass it down to me. I’m sure he meant to leave it for me, but things got messy during the divorce, and he took it with him by mistake. I knew one day he would come back for me, and bring it with him.

I kicked up the kickstand, and revved the engine. Sorry Nicky, I called over my shoulder as I sped away.

I could imagine the stunned look on their faces. Oh well, I thought. They’ll get over it.

Chapter 2

I came home around midnight. I had gone to Shandy’s, taken her for a spin and then spent the rest of the evening hanging out at her house.

When I came home, Mom was already in bed.

She had given up waiting up for me a long time ago. A fight always broke out, and nothing good ever came out of it. Now she just went to bed and left the door unlocked.

I grabbed a snack and headed to my room. I made a mental note to apologize to Nicky the next day for abandoning him, turned on the TV and stretched out on my bed. I must have fallen asleep, because that’s where I woke up the next morning, the TV still blaring.

The clock next to the bed read 11:45. I wasn’t tired, but I didn’t want to go downstairs and deal with Mom either, so I reached for the cordless phone to call Nicky. It was in the floor next to my bed so I picked it up and clicked the on button. My dad’s voice came through the receiver. I pressed the phone to my ear and listened.

Of course I want to see him, but money’s tight right now, and I can’t pay for him a ticket to fly out.

Mom’s voice was tight and strained. I’ll pay for it then.

It’s not just the money, I’m really busy right now. I’ve been working sixty hours a week.

Cut the crap, John! Last month you said it was because you forgot you had planned a vacation for the time he was supposed to come out and visit. Just admit the truth. He thinks of you as some kind of hero, and really you’re nothing but a coward! Why don’t you grow up and tell him the truth!

There was a long pause, then Dad said, Send him my love, I’ll be in touch soon.

There was a click, then the line went dead. I held the phone to my ear for another minute or two, silently willing my dad’s voice to come back over the line. It had been so long since I had heard his voice. I missed him so much. I wanted to ask him what Mom meant by the truth. But of course, he didn’t talk again, he had already hung up. I finally accepted this, and turned the phone off. I would call Nicky later.

I changed my clothes and went downstairs. Mom was sitting at the table, staring at a steaming cup of coffee in front of her. She didn’t even notice I had walked in until I slammed a cupboard door.

She jumped and stared at me through tear-filled eyes. I pretended not to notice her and made myself a bowl of Cheerios.

Please sit down Jess, we need to talk.

How many times had she said that same thing to me? It always began and ended the same. I practically had her speech memorized by now.

I pulled out the chair across from her and plopped down.

"I’m afraid