The Face Beneath, Part II

By Amelia Legend

After years of escaping the past, Danielle Lee decides to return home, where she is confronted with facing the people she left behind, including Reed Fischer.

For four years, Reed has been trying to get over his first love, but that feat is made impossible when Dannie unexpectedly walks back into his life. Trying his best to move on, Reed ignores her existence, but she’s suddenly everywhere he is.

A friendship blossoms ... until feelings start to blur. Remnants of how they used to be together are still there, but Reed can’t forget how much Dannie hurt him when she left, and Dannie is still struggling with her secretive history while living with the aftermath of an assault by an obsessed stalker.

With the help of her best friends, Melody and Jemma, Dannie is on the path to healing ... until the past meets the present, and she comes face-to-face with the one person she hoped never to see again.

The Face Beneath shares the tale of a young woman trying to overcome a traumatic childhood while living with PTSD, but with the love and support of her friends, she finds hope and the courage to face her past, confront her fears, and live again.

"This novel is a gift to the young adult genre."
-Janice Dyck, author of In A Foreign Land

"A spectacularly written book which broaches a series of very important topics such as abuse, rape, assault and self-harm ... I would recommend it for any high school or college student as well as any adult looking for a story about starting anew and coming to terms with your past."
-Online Book Club gives The Face Beneath "4 out of 4 stars"

• Language: English
• Publisher: Amelia Legend
• Release date: Jun 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370318841

Amelia Legend

Amelia Legend lives in a small town in rural Canada. Although Amelia was born and raised in a suburb of California, she much prefers a quiet life with her family in the countryside. Amelia is a teacher and a passionate humanitarian for those who are marginalized, exploited, and oppressed. By focusing her writing on issues she feels are often kept quiet by apathetic cultural norms, Amelia believes she can make more people mindful of the issues they are often unaware of or misinformed of by those in power.Visit her at amelialegend.com or [e-mail]: Amelia Legend’s Booknook https://www.facebook.com/AuthorAmeliaLegendInstagram: @author_amelialegend https://www.instagram.com/author_amelialegend/

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THE FACE BENEATH

By Amelia Legend

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2016, revised in 2021, by Amy Legendre

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book might have changed since publication and might no longer be valid.

Editor and Interior Designer: Jovana Shirley, Unforeseen Editing, www.unforeseenediting.com

Cover Design: Cover It Designs, coveritdesigns.net

To my devoted husband.

Thank you for loving me when I was hopelessly broken.

contents

prologue

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 20

chapter 21

chapter 22

chapter 23

chapter 24

chapter 25

chapter 26

about the author

The Face You See

a letter from the author

No More

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

—1 Corinthians 13:12

prologue

Reed

Iknew by Dannie's text message that something was wrong. I can’t predict the future; but I should have had a premonition that my world, my hope, my future was about to be irrevocably changed in an instant? The truth was, I couldn't have foreseen what was about to happen.

I receive a text from the girl I loved, saying she needed to speak with me, a naive notion to think the short message was nothing of great importance.

I drive to Dannie’s house with a smile on my face, so excited to see her even though we had only been apart for a day. What can I say? I am a fool for love, addicted in every sense of the word.

I look over at the white rose plucked from the bouquet I bought for tonight.

Women love flowers, I think to myself.

I want Dannie to feel that she is being treated well in all the ways she deserves.

I wished that I’d had a flashing neon sign, saying, Stop, you idiot! You’re going the wrong way! Or maybe a warning that I was headed off a cliff.

I have no expectation to take our relationship to a more physical level tonight. I want to make it clear to Dannie that I want a real relationship, that I am fully committed to her.

When I pull up to her house, when I see her waiting for me at the top of the driveway, I start to worry. Did something happen with her family? Did her mother call? Either way, I want to be there for her however she needed me.

I step out of the truck, holding the rose with a stupid smile. Hey, beautiful. I stop right in front of her before slowly drawing her into a hug.

I have never seen the look on her face I see in this moment. Her expression is vacant, slightly lost. The image is hard to describe, but she looks like a shell of the Dannie I saw only yesterday.

After shrugging out of my arms, she steps away and quietly said, Hey, can we just sit in the truck for a minute? I want to talk to you real quick.

Oh no, something is really wrong.

Whatever is the matter, in this moment, I felt like I can help her.

Although, I am keenly aware that she is avoiding my eyes. But why?

Sure … are you okay, princess? I try to stay calm while my blood slowly turns to ice in my body.

We silently sit in the truck before she whispers, Yeah, of course. I want to talk for a bit. She pauses right before she rips out my heart. I can’t see you anymore, Reed. This doesn’t seem to be working out … whatever this even is. We aren’t officially dating anyway. I wanted to be fair to you by telling you to your face that I want to go to college without any attachments. I think I took this too far for too long without considering the fact that I am leaving at the end of the summer. I’m not going to go to Sacramento State anymore. I’m going to be farther away, so there is no point in pursuing this thing between us. I’m sorry I let this go on for so long.

And there it is. The hammer has fallen. The lightning has struck. My worst fear is realized. I’d held out my heart, only to have it rejected. She doesn't want me.

My mind hasn’t caught up to the words she has spoken. So, I do what any man would do. I try to reason with her.

I am angry, freaking out, and scared. What? Are you serious? What is really going on? This is bullshit, and you know it!

By the look on her face, I know she isn't telling me something, something pivotal that she doesn’t trust me with, something that has changed everything.

Still avoids my eyes, she continues, I am serious. I don’t feel like we should drag this on anymore.

That is absurd. I may believe her if she didn’t look so heartbroken, so empty.

Damn it, Dannie! Don’t do this!

That’s ridiculous. Look me in the eyes and tell me you feel nothing for me. I finally have had enough. I pull her to me, holding her face and forcing her to see what she is doing to me. Look at me! I love you, Dannie. I love you.

She isn't going to leave me without a good and dirty fight.

Tell me you feel nothing. I lean in for a kiss.

She jerks back, as if hit her. No! Reed, I’m sorry, but I don’t love you. I don’t feel anything. She looks like she is going to be sick.

Is she sick? What did I do to make her frightened of me? I would never hurt her. Doesn’t she know that?

I take a breath before I start panicking. This is really happening, isn’t it?

My throat starts to burn, but my heart feels like it is dying in my chest. What happened? What did I do, Dannie? I’m sorry. I won’t try to kiss you again. Tell me what I did wrong. My voice finally breaks.

Please listen. Please, Dannie, don’t do this.

As she slowly steps out of the truck and turns to walk away, she pauses with a cold reply, You didn’t do anything, Reed. I just don’t love you.

How can I believe that? How does someone stop loving you? Why?

I whisper the only thing running through my mind in this moment, I don’t believe you.

I wake up in a cold sweat at the memory of the last time I saw Dannie. How can a memory still haunt someone after so many years? I cover my eyes with my arm, willing my heart to slow down, but the look on her face is still there, and the ache in my chest won’t subside. I remember every detail as if it’d happened yesterday because I’ve replayed the memory in my mind a thousand times, and a thousand times, I’ve wondered what I did to make her leave four years ago. What could I have possibly done to cause her to run from me?

How could I have been so naive to believe she loved me the way I loved her?

Even as I think the words, the question rings false. As if somehow, deep down in my naive heart, I meant it when I said, I don’t believe you.

chapter 1

Dannie

W hat are you afraid of?

I recollect the question Ms. Gee asked me this morning. It reverberates in my ears while I look out over the gray-blue water. I hold a warm cup of coffee in my hands, trying in vain to calm the slight tremble in my fingers.

What am I afraid of?

After all this time and four years of therapy with Ms. Gee, one might think I’d have come up with an answer to this particular question, but I haven’t. It’s probably because I have spent too much time distracting myself with my busy life, filled with an exuberant group of friends, and hiding behind my nonstop career as a stylist in a big city to really answer that tiny question.

I’d rather not think about it, Ms. Gee.

I’ve kept my life in constant motion without allowing myself a moment to really think about whom I have been leaving behind and why—or more importantly, whom I have been running from.

I close my eyes, letting the sea breeze calm my cloudy thoughts. It’s a foggy day in San Fran, but even on the rocky shoreline, I can hear the bustle of the city waking up around me. The café is welcoming their early regulars, the joggers are pushing themselves an extra mile, and the career-minded individuals are trying to make every minute count as they rush to be the first in the office.

I am in love with this city. Its people and culture flow in my veins and straight through to my soul, and I am thankful for the anonymity it provides when I need it the most. This city gives me a sense of freedom—even if the feeling is short-lived, even if it is a false sense of security.

What am I afraid of?

Ms. Gee’s question will continue to nag at me until I somehow find the answer.

I left my home, my family, and my friends four years ago to escape from these thoughts and the overwhelming fear that lingers around everything back there. It’s better that I walked away even if none of them see why. It’s better for me to have space and time to figure out how to live with the past. It’s better for the family I hold at a distance and most definitely for the family I’ve found because the truth can have a thousand implications, all of which are burdensome. I could leave because I knew the two people who unconditionally loved me most would forgive me even if they weren’t aware of all the reasons.

A pair of dark green eyes flash in my mind as a deep sense of loss invades my aching heart. I left Reed because leaving was the right thing to do and because he deserved better than the broken, damaged woman I became after that summer.

I open my eyes as a welcome visitor settles next to me. Melody sits in silence, waiting for my explanation for leaving the house so early this morning after an exhausting, sleepless night.

It’s time, I finally manage to say what I know in my heart is the truth.

The time has come to go back home. It’s time I stop avoiding my past. I now have to find the courage to pick up the pieces of my old life and find a way to live again.

Melody rests her head on my shoulder. Are you sure?

Not so much.

She continues gently, I know you have come so far since we moved here, but I sometimes still hear you at night … She trails off, knowing she doesn’t need to say the words out loud.

A night like last night.

Nights filled with terror and torment and waking up, only to realize the truth in them. The nightmares have never gone away, but they have gotten better over time. Either way, I have learned to manage the aftermath of my past, the secret I locked away long ago, but I’m tired of letting those unfortunate truths dictate my life.

I will learn to live with everything, I respond with more courage than I feel. I can’t, however, forget the things that I want, and I can’t pretend anymore that I don’t want to go to college, no matter how much I love living here with you.

I feel her silent nod of acceptance.

We moved to San Francisco together four years ago—two girls in an exciting, big city—and we have been inseparable ever since. I will miss Melody like a missing piece of my own heart, but I also miss the girl I left behind when we moved here. I owe it to that girl to go back and reclaim the life she wanted before all hell broke loose.

Before my mother gave me a letter, telling me to leave and never come home.

Before my stepfather told me I was dead in his eyes.

Before I lost any and all hope.

And before graduation night.

I just want you to be happy again, Dannie.

I don’t respond at all because I’m frozen in thought.

Dannie? What are you thinking about? Melody’s voice finally cuts through the thick fog that momentarily surrounded me.

Oh, you know … everything. The past, my family, all my craziness. I shoulder-bump her in quiet thanks to her genuine concern while trying to lighten the mood.

Melody doesn’t let up. Are you going to see your family when you get back?

Hopefully not. I have no idea.

You should think about seeing them, Dannie. I know your dad misses you.

I wasn’t referring to my dad.

When I left four years ago, I left behind the people who loved me. I just haven’t figured out how to let the ones I love back into my life without letting the ones who hurt me in too.

I stand up, brushing off the sand sticking to my legs and backside, cutting off the direction of her questioning. My family is a complicated mess I’d like to avoid discussing on the beach. My beach spot happens to be my place of solace, my place of reprieve, from all things dark and menacing. I don’t want to ruin my last memory of this place with talk of a family I don’t fit into anymore and a life I’d rather forget.

I turn the tables on Melody. So, is your boyfriend going to take the plunge and move in now that our bachelorette pad is down one bachelorette?

Melody gives me a silent nod of her head, knowing that I disapprove of her choice of boyfriends and that he is in fact moving in despite my prior objections. She encompasses all things sweet and pure of heart, yet she finds herself in relationships of the worst kind. Her high school boyfriend, Jay, was a cheater, a drunk, and an all-around sleaze, but Damien is no better. If I were to be more brutally honest, I’d say he was worse. Controlling is the word I would use to describe the man. Tall, dark, and handsome, for sure, but he is also calculating in a way that Jay never was. He has a sharp eye, demanding nature, and a fierce temper, which is a volatile combination when wrapped in a charming package.

I can’t seem to shake the feeling that Damien is somehow … wrong.

Unfortunately, Melody doesn’t see it. Needless to say, I don’t want to isolate my friend by hating on her boyfriend and make the dangerous mistake of giving her nowhere to run but into his arms. I’ve been down the road of destructive relationships before, and I don’t see a clean way out of this situation.

I look over at the face of my friend and wrap an arm around her shoulders, giving her an apologetic squeeze, knowing that words will do no good in a moment like this. When everything is said and done, I can only hope that we can find a way to survive the storm.

We’ve survived so much already.

chapter 2

Reed

Iopen one more box of old textbooks with a grunt.

Unpacking is the worst. It’s a waste of time, especially when you’re hyper-organized. It takes substantially longer than if I were someone who could simply throw my crap into the corner and call it good—like my roommate. If he wasn’t my best friend, I might kill him.

You about done there, Reed? I’m starving.

I scowl at Marcus. He knows this process takes me forever. He knows I’m not even close to being done, but after four years of being roommates, he is still trying to rush me. I guess I can take a break. I breathe out a heavy sigh of defeat. I don’t want to leave this mess, but I can’t deny that I’m starving too.

Excellent. He smiles, unconcerned by the look I sent him.

I follow him out of our apartment and toward the pizza place that’s close enough to walk to. Thank God for college towns.

So, do you have to go get your books? I’m planning on grabbing mine tomorrow, if you wanna catch a ride with me, I offer, knowing full well that Marcus hasn’t gotten his books.

Luckily, classes here at Sacramento