Understanding And Overcoming Masturbation

By Sunday Adelaja

We live in a time where many people now question the essence of upholding core values which once were the bedrock for human relationships and societal development. Especially when it comes to the subject of masturbation, most people are still reeling in doubts and questioning if there is anything really wrong or harmful with this self-indulging act.
If we are going to enjoy healthy living, wholesome personalities, thriving marriages, and participate actively in positive societal transformations, first of all, we must ensure that we are enjoying real victories in our personal lives. We must be living whole lives and enjoying complete freedom.
But what’s wrong with masturbation, you may ask?
Well, masturbation is the use of sexual urges and ecstasy for one’s self alone; it is seeking to satisfy our sexual urge on our own terms, ignoring the union of a man to woman, which is God’s grand design. When most people masturbate, they have to conceive an image or picture a partner on their minds, which is equivalent to what Jesus termed adultery in the book of Matthew.
For the young and unmarried, masturbation could disfigure your personal value and interest in the beautiful institution called marriage, leading to such a noxious problem that you cannot see the opposite gender without a single thought of sex. Most people who are actively involved in the practice of masturbation will in no time lose taste for the institution of marriage. Thus, the real fight is to preserve the system God has provided for our personal satisfaction and eliminate the counterfeits that wreck the destinies of men.
One thing about masturbation is the fact that it’s very addictive in nature. It has a way of controlling and enslaving its victim the moment you taste of it for once. It will beckon on you for more, and at the same time making you weak, exhausting valuable calories of your energy. For some folks, it could go even further into creating nervousness and neurological problems. Controlling it could become a colossal menace!
I will, however, admit here that I personally suffered greatly from this practice. I also stand to be a living testimony of victory over this and other sexual addictions. It is this fact that informs me to share my experience with as many as are willing to listen.
I would like to affirm that experiencing total freedom from this bondage comes gradually through the exercise of your faith and patience, as you take essential steps towards your liberty. That is the reason I decided to outline here 20 concrete steps you need to take to break free. These principles worked for me and many others; therefore, I’m confident to make them available to you for your triumph in this area.
Thus this book you'll find out:
1. Reasons why masturbation is wrong
2. How don’t let masturbation define you
3. How to protect your thoughts
4. How to close the gates
5. Why the state of your mind matters
6. How to learn to say ‘no’
7. How to do not surrender
8. How to use your will-power
9. How to keep a distance from your object of lust
10. How to guard your mind diligently

• Language: English
• Publisher: Golden Truth
• Release date: Nov 19, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463007440

Sunday Adelaja

Sunday Adelaja is the founder and senior pastor of the Embassy of God in Kiev Ukraine and the author of more than 300 books which are translated in several languages including Chinese, German, French, Arabic, etc. A fatherless child from a 40 hut village in Nigeria, Sunday was recruited by communist Russia to ignite a revolution, instead he was saved just before leaving for the USSR where he secretly trained himself in the Bible while earning a Master’s degree in journalism. By age thirty-three he had built the largest church in Europe. Today, his church in Kiev has planted over a thousand daughter churches in over fifty countries of the world. Right now they plant four new churches every week. He is known to be the only person in the world pastoring a cross cultural church where 99% of his twenty five thousand members are white Caucasians. His work has been widely reported by world media outlets like Washington Post, The wall street Journal, Forbes, New York times, Associated Press, Reuters, CNN, BBC, German, Dutch, French National television, etc. Pastor Sunday had the opportunity to speak on a number of occasions in the United Nations. In 2007 he had the rare privilege of opening the United States Senate with prayers. He has spoken in the Israeli Knesset and the Japanese parliament along with several other countries. Pastor Sunday is known as an expert in national transformation through biblical principles and values. Pastor Sunday is happily married to his “princess’ Pastor Bose Adelaja. They are blessed with three children, Perez, Zoe and Pearl.

Book preview

Understanding&OvercomingMasturbation_KINDLE.jpg

Sunday Adelaja

Understanding

And

Overcoming

Masturbation

Sunday Adelaja

Understanding and Overcoming Masturbation

©2018 Sunday Adelaja

ISBN 9781731032812

Copyright © Golden Truth Publishing

Kyiv, Ukraine. All rights reserved

[e-mail]

www.goldentruth.pro

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means - electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise - without prior written permission of the author.

Cover design by Alexander Bondaruk

Interior design by Olena Kotelnykova

© Sunday Adelaja, 2016,

Understanding and Overcoming Masturbation - Kiev, Ukraine:

Golden Truth Publishing, 2018

All rights reserved.

Contents

INTRODUCTION 9

CHAPTER 1: 20 REASONS WHY

MASTURBATION IS WRONG 15

1. Masturbation Leads to Loss of Interest

in Marriage 21

2. Masturbation Results in Loss of Life’s Focus 22

3. Masturbation Creates Feelings of Inferiority

Complex 24

4. Masturbation Often Leads to Late Marriages 25

5. Masturbation Births Unhealthy Sexual

Fantasies 26

6. Masturbation Gives Room to the Insatiability

of the Flesh 27

7. Masturbation Brings Sexual Pervasion into

Marriage 28

8. Masturbation Could Lead to Swinging in

Marriage 29

9. Masturbation could lead to Sexual Fetishism 29

10. Masturbation can lead to Several Ailments 30

11. Masturbation leads to Horrible Sexual

Pervasion 31

12. Masturbation leads to Prostrate Related

Diseases 31

13. Masturbation causes Selfishness and

Egocentrism in Marriage 32

14. Masturbation Causes Premature

Ejaculation 32

15. Masturbation Could Cause Erectile

Dysfunction 33

16. Masturbation Births Feelings of Guilt and

Self-Condemnation 34

17. Masturbation Causes Depression and

Gloominess 34

18. It Results in Inability to build Healthy

Relationship with the Opposite Sex 35

19. Masturbation is a Source of Social and

Societal Awkwardness 36

20. Masturbation Depicts a Lack of

Strong Will 37

CHAPTER 2: PROTECT YOUR THOUGHTS 41

The Big Deal 42

Origin of Thought 43

Close the Gates 44

The Power of Meditation 47

The State of Your Mind Matters 49

Functioning With The right mind 50

Control Your Feelings 52

CHAPTER 3: REFUSE TO OPEN

THE DOOR 55

Neglect or ignore it 57

Change the image before your eyes or change

what you are hearing. 60

Cast it down. Cast down the thought. 61

Forget about it and move on. 62

CHAPTER 4: DON’T SUBMIT 65

Refusing to Submit 66

Learn To Say No 67

Your Value System 69

Don’t Agree With It 70

Don’t Surrender 72

CHAPTER 5: Resist 77

Use Your Will-Power 79

The Principle of Delayed Gratification 80

Know Your Values 83

Define Your Goals and Plans 84

Resistance is the Pathway to Freedom 87

Keeping a Distance from Your Object of Lust 88

CHAPTER 6: THINK AND PRAY LESS

ABOUT IT 93

Is Prayer Not Important? 95

Little Steps in Victory 97

Guard Your Mind Diligently 98

CHAPTER 7: STOP TALKING YOURSELF

OUT OF IT 103

The Error of Eve 105

The Way Out, the Step Up! 107

Freedom from Bondage 108

CHAPTER 8: STOP STRATEGIZING 111

Redirect Your Attention 112

Your Attitude Is What Really Counts 113

He Refused To Take Responsibility 115

CHAPTER 9: FOCUS CREATES REALITY 119

The Power of Focus 120

Focus Defined 121

Create Your Own Reality 123

Decide Your Focus 124

CHAPTER 10: DECREASE OR MAGNIFY 129

Your Mind Is Powerful 130

Minify the Wrong Thoughts 131

Magnify Your Focus on the Kingdom 134

CHAPTER 11: STOP CONDEMNING

YOURSELF 137

Don’t Help The Accuser! 139

Self Condemnation is not Healthy 140

Self Condemnation Lures Into Sin 142

CHAPTER 12: TRYING TO BE PERFECT 147

What is Perfection? 148

The Perfection of Jesus 150

Your Perfection is in God 152

Rely More on God 154

CHAPTER 13: GIVE ROOM FOR FAILURE 159

Celebrate Little Progress 161

Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself 163

Find Out Why You Failed 165

Still Righteous 166

CHAPTER 14: DON’T LET MASTURBATION

DEFINE YOU 169

Acknowledge the Good in You 172

You Are Not Your Sin 174

You are Accepted by God 174

CHAPTER 15: HAVING THE RIGHT

IDENTITY 177

Self Perception Matters 178

Think Right, Live Right 179

Think Right, See Right 180

Receiving Forgiveness 181

CHAPTER 16: TURN DISADVANTAGE TO

ADVANTAGE 183

Don’t Run From Help 186

Failure Could Birth Unexpected Success 187

Renew Your Determination to Succeed 189

CHAPTER 17: FOCUS MORE ON YOUR

DREAMS AND GOALS 191

Focus on Pleasing and Glorifying God 192

Develop Strategic Plans for Glorifying God 195

Build Your Dreams 195

Focus More on your Goals 197

CHAPTER 18: GOD’S POWER IS PERFECTED

IN OUR WEAKNESS 201

The Benefit of Weaknesses 202

Thank God for your Weaknesses 204

The consciousness of God’s Holiness 205

CHAPTER 19: LET THE MOVIES GO 209

Starve Whatever Stops You 210

The Harmful Effects Linger On 211

Every Temptation Has a Location Attached

To it 212

Halt the Sinful Programming 213

CHAPTER 20: BECOME A GOD LOVER

INSTEAD OF A LOVER OF PLEASURE 217

Love- The Greatest Commandment 218

I overcame through God’s Love 219

Victory Comes from God’s Love 221

Loving God Means Obeying His Command 222

CHAPTER 21: APPLY THE POWER OF

THE BLOOD 225

Have Faith in the Blood of Jesus 226

Washed By the Blood 227

Sanctified By the Blood 228

Justified By the Blood 229

What Is Your Testimony? 230

IN CONCLUSION: FREE AT LAST 233

Introduction

We live in a time where many people now question the essence of upholding core values which once were the bedrock for human relationships and societal development. Especially when it comes to the subject of masturbation, most people are still reeling in doubts and questioning if there is anything really wrong or harmful with this self-indulging act.

It is rather unfortunate to say that some Christians are ostensibly ignorant of God’s perspective on the subject, thereby promoting erroneous teachings, that masturbation isn’t immoral, and one is free to indulge in it as long as he so desires. But my understanding through the light of scriptures depicts that our liberty in Christ isn’t a call to hedonism; neither is our freedom an avenue for addictive self-gratification yielding condemnation and several other destructive tendencies, but to serve one another in love and live a truly free life.

If we are going to enjoy healthy living, wholesome personalities, thriving marriages, and participate actively in positive societal transformations, first of all, we must ensure that we are enjoying real victories in our personal lives. We must first be living whole lives and enjoying complete freedom.

What’s wrong with masturbation, if one may ask?

Well, masturbation is the use of sexual urges and ecstasy for one’s self alone; it is seeking to satisfy our sexual urge on our own terms, ignoring the union of a man to woman, which is God’s grand design. When most people masturbate, they have to conceive an image or picture a partner on their minds, which is equivalent to what Jesus termed adultery in the book of Matthew.

You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:27-28

When a man lusts in his heart after a woman, he has already committed adultery with her even though he has not physically slept with her. That mental adultery goes alongside with masturbation, and this could hurt your relationship with God and your spouse, thereby leading to a loss of interest in marriage.

For the young and unmarried, masturbation could disfigure your personal value and interest in the beautiful institution called marriage, leading to such a noxious problem that you cannot see the opposite gender without a single thought of sex. Most people who are actively involved in the practice of masturbation will in no time lose taste for the institution of marriage. Thus, the real fight is to preserve the system God has provided for our personal satisfaction and eliminate the counterfeits that wreck the destinies of men.

One thing about masturbation is the fact that it’s very addictive in nature. It has a way of controlling and enslaving its victim the moment you taste of it for once. It will beckon on you for more, and at the same time making you weak, exhausting valuable calories of your energy. For some folks, it could go even further into creating nervousness and neurological problems. Controlling it could become a colossal menace!

Besides these, masturbation also causes stress and strain on your mind and body, as it drains you psychologically and socially. For the male folks, it is worthy of note that the seminal fluid that gets released during masturbation contains proteins that are needed for many metabolic activities and cell formations. These losses inevitably results in inexplicable weight loss and leanness, constant weakness and self-rejection.

Statistics have proven that those who are addicted to masturbation also experience a loss of focus in life. Those who actively masturbate tend to think about it most of the time, as they tend to be very distracted and often struggle with problems of memory loss.

According to some psychologists, there are people who think about masturbating every five minutes. One of the resultant repercussions of this is making them lose focus of the most important things in life because this kind of self-gratification never fully satisfies, even though it may look lofty and satisfying. An individual’s thoughts are supposed to be predominantly about his life’s goals, missions, and purposes, but masturbation can steal this away, and end up destroying your life.

Moreover, medical science has proven evidence that masturbation is a principal cause for erectile dysfunction, an embarrassing problem capable of hurting one’s marriage. Most people who engage in it experience feelings of guilt, inferiority complex, and self-condemnation on a regular basis, which is also an indication to us that it is unnatural for us to live this way.

Folks who are involved in masturbation usually become very moody and introverted due to their self-guilt, constant fear of reprehension which ultimately leads to always wanting to conceal their secrets; so they tend to keep away in order to avoid being adjudged or scorned.

Moreover, some incidences related to late marriages, bouts of depression, moodiness and difficulty of building a healthy relationship with the opposite sex could be traceable to masturbation. The list of compounding dangers and horrifying consequences of this addictive behavior is almost endless. I could go on and on depicting how precarious this act of self-indulgence is on the addict and the society at large.

But my singular purpose for addressing this subject is to help liberate anyone who is currently under this yoke, and rather not to make a point of holier than thou doctrine of some religious denominations.

I will, however, admit here that I personally suffered greatly from this practice. I also stand to be a living testimony of victory over this and other sexual addictions. It is this fact that informs me to share my experience with as many as are willing to listen.

In conclusion, I would like to affirm that experiencing total freedom from this bondage comes gradually through the exercise of your faith and patience, as you take essential steps towards your liberty. That is the reason I decided to outline here 20 concrete steps you need to take to break free. These principles worked for me and many others; therefore, I’m confident to make them available to you for your triumph in this area.

You may decide to set sail on a 21-day journey to freedom from masturbation by studying a chapter each day as this could help you in developing a new mindset for total victory and recovery. This way, you will gradually break free from this unhealthy practice, developing wholesome and liberating habits for successful living.

It is, therefore, my solemn prayer that as you peruse through the pages of this book, may you find rest for your soul, solutions to your problems, relevant truths and practical steps that will usher you into the realm of endless freedom, and may you recover it all!

Sunday Adelaja

For the Love of God,

Church and Nation

CHAPTER 1

20 Reasons Why

Masturbation is Wrong

I have always believed that asking the right questions is one of the surest roadmaps to a life of fulfillment. What and why are two of the most important questions in life. Let’s begin with the first: what is wrong about masturbation? Why is it wrong? Some say it’s even better than having sexual intercourse with people they aren’t married to, while others argue that it is a safe practice that helps you overcome pent up emotions and avoid Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). Many others justify this behavior because in their own opinion it doesn’t hurt anyone. But I want to show you how detrimental masturbation really is to you and how you can be free from its obsessive tendencies. There are some real dangers involved here which you would do so well to desist from this practice of self-service. What we are about to discover is of utmost importance. But before we dive into the reasons why masturbation is wrong, let’s find out what it really is.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines Masturbation as the act of stimulating one’s genitals with the hand. Webster’s dictionary goes a bit further to explain it as: Erotic stimulation especially of one’s genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse. By instrumental manipulation occasioned by sexual fantasies or by various combinations of these agencies.

Most encyclopedias define masturbation as the sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation may involve hands, fingers, everyday objects and sex toys such as vibrators or a combination of these. Masturbation is obviously an abnormal sexual practice.

Both the male and female folks masturbate, but it’s more predominant among the male folks. According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB), 78 percent of all Americans age 14 and older say they have masturbated at some points in their lives. When men in their 30s were asked whether they had masturbated alone at any point in their life, 93.4% said yes. 80.3% of women in their 30s say they have masturbated alone in their lifetime. 40 percent of men and 22 percent of women admit to daily masturbation.

Previous research has shown that masturbation becomes more likely with an increase education, greater frequency of sexual thoughts, sexual experiments before puberty and larger number of lifetime sexual relationships. This study agreed for both sexes.

Moreover, if you are quite conversant with this subject, you would know that there are triggers involved. One of such is pornographic materials. Another recent report stated that over 50% of men watch porn regularly and this almost inevitably leads to masturbation. Over 60% of men and 40% of women reported having masturbated in the past month. Thus, it’s common knowledge that porn addiction and masturbation go hand in hand, and they have become a serious issue that millions of people all around the world across all ages and both sexes suffer from. I would say that it is undeniably true that a lot of people are addicted to masturbation, and they are constantly wondering how they can stop this habit as they often detest themselves after the deed is done. If this has been your plight, then you are on your way to freedom.

We live in a world where a lot of things are being abused, and they seem normal to the ordinary human mind. Abuse, as we know, is the abnormal use of something. On the Internet, we find teachings on different ways to masturbate, the necessity of masturbating and all that. It’s an overt abuse!

There is normal use of sex, and there is an abnormal use of it. The purpose or intent of a product is best gotten from its maker.