Wisdom for Relationship With a Purpose

By Dr. Max Wellspring Oseogena

Relationship is one area that you cannot afford to get wrong. After your relationship with God, your relationship with a significant other is one aspect where getting it right is absolutely necessary, as it affects your overall well-being, your purpose in life and your image.

In this book the author has given you pointers to identify who activates and fulfils you as a person, who resonates with your purpose, as well as discussing many different areas you can look at and work on to build your life and take your existing relationship to a more enriching and fulfilling level.

Also included are the 31 reasons to reinvent your life or your relationship, as well as 25 topical notes on personal healing and emotional intelligence.

About the Author:

Dr. Max Wellspring Oseogena is a transformational coach, mentor, relationship counsellor and a pastor. He is the author of “The Empowered Life”, a resource material he uses for his Masters Class that has transformed many. Over the last three decades Dr. Max’s ministry, books and empowering messages, have been a source of blessing leading to the transformation of many internationally, as he has helped his audience to find and build their calling in order to fulfil their prophetic destiny.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dr. Max Wellspring Oseogena
• Release date: Aug 31, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463293508

Book preview

Wisdom for Relationship

With a Purpose

Wisdom for Relationship

With a Purpose

Unlocking the Joy, dissolving the Doubts

Dr. Max Wellspring Oseogena

© 2004, 2014, 2018 Max Wellspring Oseogena

Published by Max Wellspring Oseogena Publishing at Smashwords

Self Published

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book, either text or image, may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Therefore, reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission from the author.

Unless stated otherwise, all scripture used in this book is from The Holy Bible, King James Version.

Published by the Author using Reach Publishers’ services,

P O Box 1384, Wandsbeck, South Africa, 3631

Edited by Gil Harper for Reach Publishers

Cover designed by Reach Publishers

Website: www.reachpublishers.co.za

E-mail: [e-mail]

Acknowledgements

I acknowledge the grace and love of God over my personal life, and the wisdom He gave me to write on this subject matter.

I would like to acknowledge someone whose quest led to the writing of this book. Sister Jane Mwangi. It was at her house early in 2004 that she asked me many questions on relationship issues. She asked me various questions that evening on relationship and purpose. She stopped me at one point, went to get a pen a paper and came back, saying, Sorry, I need to write these words down. Over one-third of this book was spoken to her that evening. Because of the interest she took in what I was saying, I then went home and put down the thoughts I could remember that I had shared in response to her questions. Many materials have been printed or used from that talk. Now here is the full substance in a book form.

I would also like to acknowledge my late friend, Dr. Linda Van Der Byl, for editing the material. Thanks also to all who have contributed in one way or another to my personal life, my purpose and ministry. I am grateful to God and to you. Thank you.

Dedications

I will like to dedicate this book to the strength, courage, and support of Pastor Sibongile Shabangu, the vice president of Wellspring Divine Connection. This book is a true testament of her character and the gift she is to me and our organization.

I also dedicate this book to those who have a compelling purpose in their life and how they ought to connect to it through love and relationship.

I also dedicate this book to all those who desire to be authentic in themselves, with others and to their purpose in life.

Last but not least, I dedicate this book to family life for the called and chosen. It is within the family life that purposes are nurtured and protected.

Introduction

RELATIONSHIP is the wheel that drives our life’s purpose. Relationship helps us to birth and fulfil our destiny. Everything meaningful you will ever do in life or accomplish through your purpose, you will do around and through someone or some people. One alone cannot multiply! Therefore, you must relate to the wisdom of the vision that drives your life. Vision comes from the compelling purpose of your spirit, given to you by God. Vision is the insight or the light to live by that you gain from knowing your purpose in life. A vision comes with its own governing rules, its own principles, values and its own ideals that protect, propel and make it flourish through you. The ideals and governing rules of your vision are meant to help you give full expression of who you were born to be. That’s why the Bible, in Proverbs 29:18, says, Where there is no vision [redeeming or redemptive revelation], the people perish [cast off restraint, or are reckless]; but he that keepeth the law [the ideals and governing rule of his vision], happy is he [blessed and empowered to prosper is he].

When we Consider love and relationship: 25% of falling in love is about what we feel for a person, while the other 75% is about what we share, see and do in common with a person. This makes us stand together as a team with them in the love we feel, to produce our life’s purpose and birth the destiny we were created for, along with them. The 75% of love comes from vision, which is what this book is all about!

This book is about merging the 75% of love (being the purpose that drives our lives) with the 25% (which is affection-based) to bring about or secure 100% of the love and life that we deserve along with our partner. Love is about two people who are attracted to one another, accept each other for who they are, stand by and with each other, and stand together for something greater than one or just self.

Feelings alone cannot sustain a relationship. Emotions do change. But the 75% that comes from vision is what develops structure in what we feel. Vision gives a purpose to live for and a reason for being together, ensuring we are an integral part of each other’s life. It gives us respect for one another, focus for where we are going with our life and relationship, and by its structures, vision puts pillars in our relationship to give it direction.

Vision also has its values. It is God who gives us a vision and compelling purpose for our life. Thus, the place of values lies in us reflecting the light and glory of God through our family life and purpose. Once we are a team with God and our life reflects His kingdom values, it becomes easier for us to look into the future with faith, hope, fearless love and courage as we use God’s word and promises as our soul’s anchor and as foundation for everything we do and face in life!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 states:, Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

A threefold cord that is not quickly broken speaks of the God-centred factor that the two are united under that which holds them together. Out of this God-centred factor comes the values with which we build our lives and family. And out of this, comes the light we reflect to the world.

God desires for you to have a lively and purpose-driven relationship. A unified purpose holds us together and fuels or rekindles our feelings of love, as we realise that we couldn’t be without one another. Purpose becomes the reason for the covenant, rather than just our feeling! Chemistry pulls us to one another, but purpose and what we have in common, marries us.

Purpose is being able to find and reconcile the link between your gift, talent and personality type, with how God intends to use the combination to release, redeem and bring hope and salvation through you to your generation and to impact eternity. This is your individual God-given destiny as a child of God!

Philemon 1:6 states, That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.

Purpose is God’s reason behind the creation and existence of something that transcends even its function, location and position. Discovering God’s purpose for your life helps you to fully realise your potential which maximises your function, determines your position and then location.

It takes a divine revelation to discover purpose; mostly when function has connected someone to a position in which they have no compelling need to be. The understanding of purpose is what helps you to direct, maximise and give focus to function in order to fulfil your God-given destiny! Most of us think that function itself is purpose, but that’s not always the case. Mostly, people function with their convenient gift (the gift that comes to them naturally) that is meant to play a supporting role to the bigger or deeper purpose of God for their lives, and they are surprised that they don’t get the fulfilment and satisfaction they so want and desire out of what they do. This is because purpose is deeper than just functioning. Most times this is also because we function with our most convenient gift that lies on the surface for easy access and for all to see, and we want to convert or connect it to God’s all-round purpose for our life! But the truth is that purpose helps you to find and gain your centre, and when you’ve found your centre, everything in your life will find its proper place of function within purpose and time in your life.

Now in spite of the greater percentage given to purpose and the vision that should drive a couple and their passion for life, it does not undermine the 25% of love that is given to feelings or chemistry within a relationship. If a persons’ passion for life is stronger than their affection for you, then that is a red flag about the kind of life you might live. Such a partner might at some point sacrifice their relationship with you for a purpose they deem as peculiar to them and too important for you to come in between. That is why we must have a unified purpose as a family, both for the family and what drives us as a couple.

The affection of love with our partner gives us the wisdom with which we convey our actions and our thoughts through words, and how we should relate to our partner for a healthy flow of relationship and fellowship. The health of our relationship is the bed on which our purpose and vision in life thrives, both in the birthing and nurturing of it.

Passion drives your purpose. Affection drives your relationship. And we need a healthy balance of the two.

If your passion for life outruns your affection for your partner, even though you are achieving your objectives in life, you would have gained the world and lost your own soul, so to speak. The rhythm of your movement or operations is balanced by the health of the relationship you have with God, yourself and your partner.

You could be doing an assignment, job or business alone. Or you could operate with the power of three, because of the blessing of God upon your life and the goodwill that goes out of your home with you – which makes you a representative of both the kingdom of heaven on earth and the home you are coming from.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, And if one prevail against him [speaking of a family man or woman], [the grace and life of] two shall withstand him [speaking of life or an enemy]; and a threefold cord [a couple under God] is not quickly [easily or soon] broken.

If a man loves God first, especially above self and the carnal desires of this world, God will give him a supernatural love for his bride, to even lay down his life for her and her security. In turn, she will honour him and his God-ordained purpose with her love and life. This is because he is the reflection of the image and love of God to her!

The love a couple shows towards one another results from the fact that they have seen and do reflect God to one another.

1 John 4:11-12 states, Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.

Six Reasons for Writing this Book

1. Once you discover yourself, you can’t just marry anyhow; the star of your destiny is in you to guide and help you to navigate through life around divine purpose.

2. There are many aspects to which your purpose in life has assigned you. So, you should marry someone you can win with not just someone who you can cope with!

3. To stay at the top of your game and withstand the challenges that come with your job and assignment, you will need to surround yourself with great friendships and/or have a great love life at home. Unfortunately, most single people are looking forward to having a great wedding day rather than preparing to have a great married life.

4. Your destiny as an individual is like an expensive jewel securely locked in a safety deposit box that needs the right combination if it is to be unlocked. Most people are still where they are in life, because they are wrongfully connected to relationships that keep God’s purpose for their lives more locked up than ever.

5. Relationship holds the secret code to the kind of life you will live and the destiny you will fulfil! So, the question is, What kind of life and future do you want to create? And, Who do you see as a good combination to unlock the door to such a life?

6. A relationship works not necessarily because of love, but because of two elements: the miracle element of how people met one another or came together; and after finding each other, the purpose-driven element of their being together. These two make a couple an integral part of one another’s life and an integral part of the reason for each other’s existence.

Chapter One

121 Practical Advice for a Purpose Driven Relationship

Wisdom 1 - Love

Love is an affection and a direction that releases a common language between two people. The language itself is meant to feed and increase the same affection