You Never Know with a Gnome

By Dick Anstis

Here I stand by the garden path
Covered in mud on my lower half
But Chloe if you can make me laugh
Ill make sure you will get a bath!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Dec 13, 2013
• ISBN: 9781491884119

Book preview

© 2013 by Dick Anstis. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/10/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4918-8410-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-8411-9 (e)

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Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapte Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter One

Chapter%201.jpg

A BATH FOR A LAUGH

Once upon a time there was a gnome who lived in our land for many years until . . . . but we had better begin at the beginning which belongs to a girl whose name was Chloe.

Chloe lived with her mum and dad in a place called Streatham. They had a flat in a nice house with their own bedrooms and a kitchen, but the one thing they didn’t have was a bath. This was rather sad for Chloe. It’s true they did have a shower which was quite good, but how can you float your yellow ducks or practice your swimming in a shower? You simply must have a bath to float things in.

One day Chloe was out shopping with her mum and while she was in the bread shop Chloe waited outside. Looking round she noticed a gate into a garden just next to the shop. On the gate it said in big red letters GNOMES HOME. Chloe knew that gnomes were sort of funny little men in books and sometimes you saw them in gardens made out of stone or clay and painted bright colours.

So she pushed open the gate and went into the garden and sure enough there by the pathway was a gnome. He wasn’t very big but he had a red hat and a yellow jersey and a green coat and blue trousers and black shoes and he had a beard and a pipe made out of wood rather like a real pipe. Chloe thought the gnome was made out of stone or clay, but to her surprise it suddenly spoke to her in a funny squeaky voice.

Who are you? said the gnome. Chloe thought she’d better answer him, so she said, My name is Chloe and I’m nearly four years old. Well, replied the gnome, that’s as may be, but I’d call you Dirty.

Chloe was very cross when the gnome said that because she was quite clean really and often washed behind her ears and even cleaned her finger nails sometimes. I’m not dirty, she said, and because she was cross with the gnome she added, You’re dirty yourself—you’ve got mud on your trousers. Of course I’ve got mud on my trousers, said the gnome (and he sounded quite cross himself), I’m a garden gnome. How do you expect to live in a garden and not get mud on you. It’s alright for you. You don’t have to wait for the rain to wash you. You can go to your nice warm bath and get properly clean and float your ducks at the same time.

Chloe suddenly felt quite sorry she’d been cross with the gnome because it must be a bit sad standing in a garden all day long. So she said, I didn’t mean to be rude, but I don’t have a bath either. We’ve only got a shower. Not got a bath? said the gnome, That’s a funny thing. But luckily for you it’s given me a funny idea. I’m a magic gnome and if I want to, I can make things happen, so listen to this and see if you can do it. He sang in a squeaky voice,

"Here I stand by the garden path

Covered in mud on my lower half

But Chloe if you can make me laugh

I’ll make sure you will get a bath!"

Chloe