Make a Difference: Influence Through Accountability: Volume 2 of the Eagle Leadership Series for College Students
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Becoming a leader who can be respected both on and off the field of competition will pay dividends in ones future professional and personal pursuits. However, this is not a journey that can be taken lightly, but requires a commitment to understanding responsibility and answerability for ones life and actions. We are all accountable to someone, but it is how we respond to that accountability that sets us apart as either a leader or a follower. I realize the idea of leadership may not appeal to, or be the goal of all who read this book; but make no mistake about it, everyone will lead someone in his or her life.
As you read this book you will be challenged to understand and accept accountability for yourself and your actions on a new level. Nevertheless, this is not merely an attempt to encourage responsible behavior or to lecture the reader on moral or ethical behavior. It is about personal growth and achieving ones ultimate potential regardless of ones aspirations in life. The need to be accountable is pervasive in all areas of our lives. We are challenged to be accountable to people in our lives, obligations we have made, dreams and goals we have set, challenges we have accepted, and the standards we have set for ourselves.
Mark Beaird M.A.
Dr Larry Little us a seasoned visionary, author, entrepreneur, and executive coach. As principal and CEO of the Enrichment Center Group, he walks with leaders both nationally and internationally. His executive coaching footprint spans from Kashmir, India, to Washington, DC. Additionally he is much sought after speaker and conference leader. His leadership approach is rooted in the power of relationships and understanding one’s own personality and the personalities of those one leads. His work focuses on challenging leaders to strategically perform at a higher level in order to make a difference. Melissa Hambrick Jackson is an experienced leader, speaker, counselor, leadership coach, and co-founder of The Enrichment Center Group. Leading in the ECG as a C-Suite Executive, Melissa’s influence is felt on a national level. She walks with leaders from companies of all sizes and in diverse settings. Melissa specializes in strategic planning, business development and creating a unique relationship-driven organization. He laser like focus and ability to provide valuable insight to leaders drive the high demand for her leadership coaching and seminar facilitation. Melissa committed to making a difference. Mark Beaird is a therapist, leadership coach, and seminar leader as well as an author and freelance writer. In addition to authoring several books Mark has been a newspaper columnist and has been published in various periodicals around the country. His passion for helping people achieve their potential drives his commitment to be a facilitator in the area of personal and professional development.
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Make a Difference - Mark Beaird M.A.
Copyright © 2012 by Eagle Consulting.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
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ISBN: 978-1-4759-4337-5 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4759-4338-2 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4759-4339-9 (ebk)
iUniverse rev. date: 10/16/2012
CONTENTS
Introduction
1. Personal Accountability
2. Accountability In Relationships
3. Accountability In Communication
4. Accountable To Resolve Conflict
5. Accountable For Our Mood
6. The Need To Affirm Others
7. The Need For Boundaries
8. Leading At A New Level
Appendix
Works Cited
INTRODUCTION
James, and everyone else on the team, felt good about his being named the starting quarterback for the season. It was James’s senior year and he had just come off a winning season during his junior year in which he and his team had performed beyond anyone’s expectations. In addition, his great attitude and team mentality
had been the glue that held the team together last season during some difficult days. James thought nothing of sacrificing for the team and often deflected the praise of the fans onto his teammates with whom he credited his ability to make the plays he had made. His teammates felt his appreciation and support for them and would have fought for him to the end. The team’s Cinderella season, the year before, had drawn the attention of the media, sports writers, and even some pro scouts. This year would be just as great or maybe even greater. Surely, nothing could go wrong.
But after the first few wins of the next season, James’s senior year, just as it appeared the team was headed to a possible championship, it all began to fall apart. There was an unexplainable change in James. It seemed all the good press and praises of his talents and ability were going to his head. James, who was normally a humble guy, now appeared to have a serious attitude
problem. Instead of leading his team, he was now demanding they perform as he thought best. He was critical and distant. He acted and spoke as if he were carrying the team. He blamed everyone else for every mistake on the field and now deflected the criticism onto his team instead of the praise as he had done before. He even refused to throw to some receivers at times, and would keep the ball and run it himself—even when he knew that was not the play the coach had called. He even made the comment that he did not have to explain himself
to the other players. The glue was disintegrating. The team was starting to come apart. It didn’t make sense. The same talented players were still playing every game. No significant injuries. No surprises from the other teams. Nevertheless, when James and his team took the field they seemed disconnected. It was going to be a long season.
Becoming a leader who can be respected both on and off the field of competition will pay dividends in one’s future professional and personal pursuits. However, this is not a journey that can be taken lightly, but requires a commitment to being responsible for one’s life and actions. We are all accountable to someone, but it is how we respond to that accountability that sets us apart as either a leader or a follower. I realize the idea of leadership may not appeal to, or be the goal of all who read this book; but make no mistake about it, everyone will lead someone in his or her life.
As you read this book you will be challenged to understand and accept accountability for yourself and your actions on a new level. Nevertheless, this is not merely an attempt to encourage responsible behavior or to lecture the reader on moral or ethical behavior. It is about personal growth and achieving one’s ultimate potential regardless of one’s aspirations in life. The need to be accountable is pervasive in all areas of our lives. We are challenged to be accountable to people in our lives, obligations we have made, dreams and goals we have set, challenges we have accepted, and the standards we have set for ourselves.
Without accountability in our world everyone would simply do whatever was right in his or her own eyes without regard to the opinions of others. But as anyone who has lived any length of time and had varied life experiences will tell you, everyone doing what is best in his or her own eyes only works in theory. It sounds good on the surface. It has such an independent sound to it. The problem is that we do not live independently of others—we are connected—and we cannot always depend on the judgment of others when left to their own desires.
I do not say this to encourage a cynical outlook on life, but rather to remind you of human limitations and our need for each other. We are creatures that thrive when there is a sense of community or team spirit. We need our friends and family. We are at our best when working as a team or when in healthy relationships with others. Some call it camaraderie, friendship, or alliance. Whatever you call it, we need it, and accountability makes it happen. The lack of accountability destroys it. My challenge to you is that you will embrace accountability in your life as a good thing and as a trait you will use to set yourself apart from the crowd.
James had experienced great success on the field his junior year and the beginning of his senior year because he practiced accountability. He saw himself as a part of something greater and bigger than himself. This only changed when he began to see himself as someone who did not need others—except to serve his purposes. When he began to feel as if he no longer owed his teammates anything, that he was above them, and would not be accountable to them, he destroyed his ability to lead them. What a tragedy! He still had great talent and ability, as did his team, but because he was not modeling accountability, he had not earned the right to lead them and, because there was an absence of leadership from the person in the position of leadership, all would end up suffering the pain of missing out on the great victories that could have been theirs.
In the following pages, we will do our best to lead you through the essentials of accountability and to understand how it all fits together in the life of a successful leader.*
*Note: If you have not already discovered your personality type by taking the Make a Difference Personality Profile at one of our seminars or when reading one of the other books in this series, you will need to do so before reading Make a Difference: Influence through Accountability. Instructions can be found in the Appendix.
CHAPTER ONE
PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY
"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true . . .
I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound
to live up to the light that I have."
—Abraham Lincoln
WHAT IS ACCOUNTABILITY?
What is accountability, and why is it important? Merriam-Webster’s definition of accountability answers both questions. In the most basic terms the definition is given as, "the quality or state of being accountable; especially: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions." The value of accepting responsibility for one’s actions, and the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s actions—both define and speak of the inherent integrity of the person. Accountability is an essential quality for anyone who aspires to leadership or excellence in life. It is not a philosophical idea. It cannot be forced on a person and become a lasting quality—eventually the person will rebel against its requirements. It is a choice one makes because of who one is in his heart.
WHY SHOULD ACCOUNTABILITY
BE IMPORTANT TO ME?
Accountability is merely a great philosophical idea until we make it personal. The only thing that will take the concept of accountability from being a good idea to the place of being a life-changing principle by which we live is our willingness to see its value and to embrace its power to change our lives. Listen to what internationally known consultants and psychologists, Mark Samuel and Sophie Chiche, have to say about what accountability can do for you and me:
Accountability allows you to improve your relationships and clarify your direction. It promotes expansion and growth. It supports risk-taking, and it invites original thinking. It helps you to be someone who inspires others to reinvent themselves, someone who can boost morale . . . It helps you stay focused and improve your teamwork. It helps you to be proactive, instead of crisis oriented. It creates peace and helps bring people together. It is the next step if you want to expand you[r] ability to love and be loved. It helps you resolve conflicts and increase your self-confidence and trust.
You might want to check out accountability if you could use a little help overcoming adversity. Or if you want to have more fun in life and develop healthy habits . . . if you want to deal with change . . . and experience optimal health . . . if you want to know that anything is possible.
Understanding the need and value of accountability is one of the first steps to having the desire to choose and embrace