Lady in Red Where Is Your Head?

By Carolann deBellis

“Lady in Red,Where is Your Head?” by first-author Carolann deBellis, tells the story of a woman who survived a brain injury and a coma after a car accident on an icy New Jersey Turnpike in 1987, when she was 34.
Carolann had it all, the perfect life, before the accident-a great job at a hot Philadelphia salon, a passionate 12-year marriage and a wide circle of friends and family who marveled at her energy and infectious spirit.
Then, in the aftermath of the near-death accident, she lost it all-job, husband and sense of self. After learning to walk, talk and cut hair again, she faced the life-long task of going beyond recovery, beyond recreating the person she was before the accident to aspire for something better. Psychological counseling and the support of a loving circle of family and friends helped her to see that all was not perfect before the accident, helped her redefine a new Carolann, a work in progress who’s less self absorbed and more self aware, less controlling and more open in her relationships with men in her life.
If it weren’t for the imperative, painful job of remaking herself physically, cognitively and emotionally from a child-like state after the accident, Carolann might never have undertaken the intense personal journey that leads her today, at 57, to say “I thank God my brain injury cured me.”
More than a conventional memoir or self-help guide, “Lady in Red” stitches together Carolann’s own words, a diary that her cousin Michael Biello wrote during her coma and rehabilitation, hospital documents, notes from nurses and visitors and Carolann’s collection of inspirational quotes.
“I wrote and rewrote this book over 20 years to help others who have suffered or know someone who has suffered a brain injury,” Carolann says. Certainly those directly or indirectly affected by a traumatic brain injury will benefit from reading her book, but so will anyone who believes it’s never too late to re-examine yourself and get to work making yourself a better person.

"with a closed-head injury that left her in a coma for ten days, among other injuries. She writes of the aftermath of her memoir, Lady In Red Where Is Your Head."

- Blueink Review

"honesty sheds light on the harsh realities of brain injuries and how a life can be forever changed."

 -Foreword Reviews

"Both sources provide information about her progress and also illustrate how much her friends and family loved and cared for"

- Kirkus Reviews

 

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 12, 2013
• ISBN: 9781477297445

Book preview

LADY IN RED

Where is Your Head?

. . . A Woman Who Survived A Brain Injury And A Coma

Carolann deBellis

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AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

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Phone: [phone]

© 2013 Carolann deBellis. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 03/26/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4772-9743-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-9742-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-9744-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012923298

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and

such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Foreword

Head Injury

The Silent Epidemic

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Factual—Medical Summary

Carolann Debellis—Delcolle

Michael’s Journal

Therapy Schedule

Time & Space

One Day At A Time

August 2012

They Call Me Two-Time Carol . . .

Last But Not Least . . .

Foreword

I met Carolann in the summertime of 1967 as a junior high student living in Connecticut. She and her cousin Michael were from Philadelphia and were visiting their cousin in our Connecticut upper class neighborhood. We became friends instantly and enjoyed many summers together, she visiting Connecticut and me visiting Philadelphia during summer break. It was a blissful time—Carolann was always so much fun. As the years drifted on, I moved to California and we lost contact.

My understanding is that Carolann became a hairdresser, like her father, in a prestigious salon in Center City. She made phenomenal money and was able to travel while being married to her best friend for twelve years. She enjoyed her many friends and family and they enjoyed her bubbly personality and infectious spirit.

Fast forward to 2006. Because of the internet, Carolann and I were reconnected. I learned of her accident and that she was writing a book to help others who suffered brain injuries or knew someone who had suffered a brain injury. She needed help to get her book typed and ready for a publisher. I felt as if God was asking me to be that person, and invited Carolann to California.

So, after 30 years, Carolann and I were reunited! She made two trips to California, once in April 2007 and then again in January of 2008, and put the finishing touches on her many years of note-taking. It has been my joy and absolute privilege to be a small part of Carolann’s journey in putting her experience in print. My hope is that many people will benefit from reading her incredible story!

~Meg Henninger Roberts

HEAD INJURY

THE SILENT EPIDEMIC

Head injuries take the lives of more people under the age of 44 than any other single cause—more than spinal cord injuries and all neurologic diseases except stroke. Males 16 to 24 years of age are most affected.

Each year, one million persons incur traumatic brain injuries. Most such injuries result from automobile accidents, with falls and gunshot wounds the other major factors. About 100,000 of these individuals die of their head injuries. And of the survivors, about 200,000 experience physical or psychological deficits so severe that they cannot resume their former lifestyle.

With improved immediate response and more sophisticated emergency treatment, more persons now survive head injuries. But their needs have become more and more complex.

The rehabilitation process for individuals with head injury involves an array of services and programs not usually required with other disabilities. Even minor head injuries can produce psycho-social and cognitive deficits ranging from maladjustment to partial or total functional disability.

Help—for head-injury survivors, their families and the healthcare professionals who treat them—begins with information. With a support group. With a referral to specialized providers of care. And for the population at large, help begins with educational programs and legislative initiatives designed to prevent further head injuries and to ease their human and financial toll.

The National Head Injury Foundation and its Pennsylvania affiliate, the Keystone State Head Injury Foundation, are leaders in this nationwide effort. We coordinate state and local activities on behalf of persons with head injury. Our purpose is simply stated: together, we seek the best quality of life for head-injury survivors and their families. We invite you to join us in pursuit of our goal.

Reprinted from the Keystone State Head Injury Foundation

I would like to acknowledge that 5% of the proceeds of this book will go to The National Head Injury Foundation at

333 Turnpike Rd.

Southboro, Mass. 01772

[phone]

and 5% will go to the Magee Rehabilitation Hospital at

6 Frankin Plaza

Philadelphia, PA 19102

[phone]

because without them, people with brain injuries and physical disabilities would NEVER make it in our world today.

DEDICATION

—Thank you God.

You knew I needed to come back to give and definitely learn more.

I am dedicating this book to Michael Biello

You have been in my life since the day I was born. I always loved the closeness we had with each other growing up. Michael, you are one of the reasons I am still here. Without your meaningful and spiritual help every single day while I was in my coma and after I was in and out of consciousness, I wouldn’t be here today writing this book.

Much, much love to you, cousin.

Thank you with all my heart and soul.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would love to express my love and gratitude to the following people:

Tommy, Hon, Sweet Face, my BEST FRIEND for twelve years and husband for eight years, thanks for helping me understand everything that happened to me before I woke up one month later aware that I had been injured. You stood by my side the whole time I was in the hospital and rehab. The girl you were in love with was not there anymore. I know you lost a lot . . . Your Love, your business, your life as you knew it. I’ll never forget all that you’ve done and how much you really loved me. For that I will always love you and never forget you.

Thank you again Tommy

Ida Ray, Aunt Ida Auntie who helped me more than she’ll ever know.

It was like me having a second chance at being raised again. From 34 years old to about 44-45 years old. In that frame of time it was like I was a little girl to a teenager. Then I became an adult. After you taught me from teenager to adult . . . . as you taught me when I spent summers with you in Dallas and Avon from 9 to 14 yrs. old. You were ALWAYS like a second mother to me ;)

Thank you Aunt Ida for being there for me and teaching me again!

I love you, Auntie.

Thanks to all of my dear family members, aunts uncles, cousins for being there for me . . . and teaching me again! Especially my mom—Anna DeBellis, my dad—Rudolph DeBellis, my sister—Renee Sisto, my sister—Janice DiBerardino and my brother Rudy DeBellis. They all know what they did. You all did many good things to help me learn again!

I love you guys.

Renee, also thanks for making me realize what the name of my book should be.

. . . . Renee was coming home from seeing me in a coma and heard the song Lady in Red by Chris Details Burgh on the car radio. She had to pull over, she was crying SO HARD. Red is my color; everyone close to me knows. The words that really hit her were . . . . I’ve never seen you look so lovely as you did tonight, I’ve never seen you shine so bright . . . It’s where I want to be . . . But I hardly know this beauty by my side, ILL NEVER FORGET THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT. The lady in red . . . I love you

. . . They said I looked like an angel as I was laying there in a coma.

I love you, sister.

Janice, thanks for trying to type my book . . . very hard to understand my writing.

I love you, sister.

Maureen Matticoli, cousin Maureen, thanks for typing Michael’s journal for me. And thanks for not being busy every time I had a question about this book.

I love you, cuz.

Michael Biello, cousin Michael, thank you for helping me put this book together in the right way. And for all the times you helped me put my personal life together in the right way.

I love you, cuz

Dan Martin, Danny, thank you for being by Michael’s side through all his emotions with me . . . Boy were there emotions, I hear.

I love you, Danny.

Richard Damien, Michael’s inspiring spiritual teacher & healer . . . you told Michael not to worry. Your cousin is on the other side, she’s coming back. She’s going to write a book to help others. I see her on Oprah Winfrey. . . . . You also HELPED ME WHEN I DID COME BACK.

Thank you Richard

YOUR FABULOUS!

Joan Pileggi, Joanie, Mommy, my boss at Pileggi on the Square, eight years of doing hair there.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to try again 49826.jpg . You took me back to work after only four months out of rehab. You knew I wasn’t the old Carol anymore. Being a hairstylist, I had to be social and graceful and tolerant to clients. I wasn’t the sweet, cheerful Carol I used to be, even though I could still cut hair. You also taught me how to be professional and to always say the right thing prior to my accident. I always loved you.

Thanks Mommy

Thanks to my friends who still remained my friends . . .

Denise Nanni-Campo, who has been my friend since first grade—52 years. Thank you for understanding my craziness after my brain injury and for remaining my friend. You’d say, Carolann, you’re the same, you just regressed . . . you are like a teenager now! You have to learn again, you said. Denise is the longest, truest, real friend I have.

I love you, girlfriend.

Celeste-Spata-Jackson, whom I’ve known for 46 years, your friendship has stayed the same! For example, you sent me a card as I was going through difficult times.

Dear Carol it read, "I’m your friend and I’m here if you

NEED ME. I can see you are struggling right now. Things that were once familiar to you have changed, leaving you to feel a little lost and worried. Life challenges us to grow by putting us in different situations. But if things seem too difficult, remember that I’m your friend, and you mean a lot to me. I’m here if you need me."

Love,

Celeste

Thanks, I love you, girlfriend.

Michele Morroney, whom I’ve known for 45 years, also remained my friend. You took me with a grain of salt. When I told you how people would say that I’m so different, you’d say Don’t they know you got hurt? It’s not your fault! You’ll be fine, don’t listen or let them get you down, Carol.

Thanks, Michele, I love you.

My married friend Andrew, thank you for giving me the desire to see the next day of my life! You came into my life when I needed a man the most! You gave me so much attention and liked me so much. I know I would have at least tried to take my life at that horrible, traumatic time I was in, instead of just thinking about it!

Thanks Andrew—I hope God understands!

Gennaro Charles Durante, Jerry, sweetheart, sweets 49828.jpg  . . . you taught me that SEX IS NOT LOVE. You helped me deal with and feel okay not having a man next to me every minute like I needed in the past. You also made me feel MORE FEMININE than I ever have in my life. Thanks for giving me my INDEPENDENCE.

Boy do I love and like you. 49830.jpg

Meg Henninger-Roberts, thank you for coming back into my life after 30 years 49832.jpg . Without you, this book would never have been typed. I never knew there was a computer that typed as you spoke into it 49834.jpg Alleluia! It’s like we saw each other only yesterday. And let me not forget her loving husband, Jim, whose patience was magnificent in teaching Meg and me how to use his computer.

Thanks, guys. I love you.

Valerie Beltran, thank you for taking time out of your busy college schedule to type this book for me. After I deleted by accident all Jim helped me to do on his computer, I really needed you! You typed this entire book in less than a week. No one believes in my words more than you do. Your tears while typing are a testament to the impact of this project. It is fate that brought us together.

Thank you so, so much

Alexander M. Mackie, Sandy, thank you for being the editor of my book. Through your busy schedule, you helped me so much . . . . More than you know.

Thank you so much

Dorothea Christopher, Thea, thank you for re-typing my book after it was edited. And getting my cover in color and red dress to be sent to publisher . . . . Through your busy life.

Thank you, Thea

Janice DiBernardino, Jan my loving, helpful sister . . . AFTER ALL THAT WAS SAID AND DONE you helped me put my book together AGAIN. With things I forgot and wording it the right way, when it needed to be . . . . FINALLY getting it ready for the publisher 49836.jpg I love you sister

. . . Quotations