The Guilty Mirror

By Ron Henchel

Do you struggle with paralysis of analysis in your daily life? Are you blaming everyone else for your lack of satisfaction in life, love, and more? Do you require more motivation to make the changes you need to be happy?

Step one: Grab a mirror and take a look. Guess what? The only one who can help you is staring right back at you.

Author Ron Henchel feels your pain and is here to help with The Guilty Mirror. Using humorous anecdotes to help you see that your glass really is half full, these stories of other people finding their own bliss will amuse and inspire you to become your own best friend. Its time to fire the negative grump in the mirror!

Life is complex, and its easy to get overwhelmed. Keeping matters simple is the key to success. Youll find tools, ideas, and tips to keep an optimistic and productive approach to life. Once youve determined your own personality style, you can easily customize your approach to breaking down the barriers that stand in your way. Learning to laugh at yourself is an important step in the journey to loving and accepting yourself and these humorous exercises can help you start the healing!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Jun 29, 2011
• ISBN: 9781426971259

Ron Henchel

Ron Henchel is a freelance writer, motivational e-book author, and writers’ club member. He lives in a small town forty miles south of Chicago, Illinois.

Book preview

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Introduction

THE GUILTY MIRROR

1

THE PIPE

2

PARALYSIS OF ANALYSIS

3

ONE SIZE FITS ALL: NOT

4

NO TOMORROWS, MAYBE

5

PAVLOV’S DOGS

6

THE LEMONADE STAND

7

RUNNING WITH SCISSORS

8

Glossary

Bibliography

Dedication

For both my wives, please let me explain before calling the authorities. No, I’m not a bigamist as I lost my first wife Patty to cancer in 2002 who gave me our two sons and encouragement to pursue my dreams. Your strength, positive attitude and fight against one of the worse inflictions a person could endure was, and will ever be an inspiration to all who were blessed to have known you, rest in peace My Dear as my thoughts and love are with you.

To my wife Kathy who has shown me that love could happen again. Your kindness, love and faith in me when I had none, has shown me how to believe in myself and live the life I temporarily lost. I look forward to creating new chapters both in the literary sense and also in our lives together. You are both loved and appreciated as a wife and friend should be.

To my sons Matt and Dan whom have been through more than any teenagers should, with both the passing of your Mother and also with myself. I am proud of you both. You are the only reasons I made it through the darkest part of my life and I look forward to watching you both mature into the great men I know you can become.

To my Grandchildren Lucas and Charlotte that keep me young. I love you both so much and wish that your hopes and dreams will be fullfilled half as much as you have filled my heart.

To my dog Boomer, I could only hope that the treats and belly rubs are enough to show my canine companion how much you mean to me. Other than the occasional flatulence, I couldn’t ask for a better pet.

In loving memory of my dog Nova that passed on near the conclusion of this book, as you were never more than ten feet away from me. She was, and forever will be one of my very best friends. I miss you girl.

Acknowledgements

A very special Thank-You to Linda Novak for all your time and hard work in the editing of this book as it has been a learning experience for the both of us.

To each and everyone that knows me personally or has known me in the past, for supplying me with enough fodder to write a book. The experiences we encounter over the years through our personal interactions have taught and shaped us all, into who we are today.

A much deserved Thank-You to my wife Kathy for allowing me the opportunity and encouragement needed to undertake and complete this project.

Introduction

Just as the title implies we are the only ones to blame for our downfalls and lack of self-esteem. For your perusal pleasure we will take a look at ourselves through this literary conveyance of just how normal some of our self destructive traits are without feeling hopeless and dejected then hopefully, and with a smile on our faces, we can proceed to restoring a more positive attitude about ourselves.

Many books have been written on the topics concerning personal motivations through career, fitness, nutrition, finances, etc. Most of these references are good in nature (they aren’t worth a crap in the home); however, one usually finds a lack of versatilities and common sensibilities that apply to the majority of the population.

The fact that the one size fits all theory gets crammed down our throats on a daily basis through just about every form of marketing we encounter, not to mention being skeptical about the integrity of those other bottom feeders, it’s about time we reclaim our dignities by putting on our big people pants and telling those less desirables to kiss our ass. I would like to form a nationwide kiss my ass party for all those who have pissed us off over the years. We could call it Derrieres-Across-America or something along those lines, which would truly be a day of "rectuming" — I’m sorry, I meant reckoning (quit with the moans, this is only the intro).[1]

The purpose of sharing my thoughts while helping you improve and feel better about yourself is somewhat simple as we can all relate to other peoples experiences. Even though most will find parallels, 90% of the data I used are a direct result of my own practices. Soul searching can often times result in unflattering findings so keeping these in perspective could prove very beneficial to one’s self outlook. Not everyone needs to fly across the ocean to Asia, trek the Himalayas in 37 days by yak then bare your soul to a Tibetan monk through meditation and yoga techniques when a twenty second saunter to the bathroom mirror with earnest intensions can produce the same results, with the exception of some unbelievable landscape photos.

I disagree with so much of the conventional wisdoms and force-fed propagandas that we have endured over our lifetimes, which I have come to realize is probably the main contributor to the fact that so many diets, exercise, and personal growth programs fail. There are many systems that are easy to understand and are not overwhelming to the user but, because these concepts rarely cost anything to the participants, they are lesser known as the opportunity for the almighty dollar is not there. We are sold a bag of goods and the truth is HEALTH IS NOT CHEAP, or so they want us to believe.

The primary purpose of this book is to take a self x-ray in a realistic sense and not get overwhelmed, confused, frustrated or self destruct before giving yourself an honest attempt at improving your self esteem. After all, everything pertaining to your personal attitude starts with how you feel about yourself. Hence, it makes no sense to take care of the outside until the inside is in shape, which snowballs into all other facets of your life then becomes infectious and, before you know it, there is a better you.

Over the years we all gather tidbits of information from many various sources whether they become useful, time wasting, positive, or negative. Whatever the case may be, these sources have direct or indirect effects concerning our thought and action processes.

Many people feel they have mastered and are in control of their surroundings, along with having the abilities to discipline themselves to maintain a balanced life. I say good for you — you bastards as they are by far the minority. This book is for the rest of the individuals who need a little added push to get them to feel better about themselves and hopefully to encourage and incite those willing, to do something positive. The world is going through a very awkward stage with many uncertainties about its economy, jobs, money, government and overall future, leaving a record number of people with different stages of depression and anxiety. I have personally experienced and witnessed many with depression concerning the aforementioned. Trying to feel better about yourself to the point of wanting to improve your self esteem with so many negative variables surrounding us is difficult, at best. For many, just getting through the daily grind is all they can handle. To hell with extracurriculars — taking the long way from the couch to the refrigerator is justification for the onset of their fitness program.

It would be easy to blame our low self-esteem and lack of motivations with what is going on in the world around us today, but the simple and HONEST truth is (as is the title of this book ) we have only ourselves to blame. Not everyone needs a total reconstructive make-over or a fifteen round daily boxing match to beat themselves’ up, but maybe just some tweaking here and there.

I do not claim to be a therapist, however years of observations have shown that depression on all levels DOES NOT discriminate. Look at all the wealthy and noted people who have committed suicide or have fallen out of the lime light. Here are individuals that have had it all and still possess the same mental and physical challenges as everyone else. I have heard many times that 95% of what we do and why we do it is a direct result of what goes on between the ears. So, with that in mind, there is hope for us as we all have ears and some degree of inherent thought control. We need to alter our way of thinking and increase our self esteem. The best way to accomplish that is to do what makes us feel good about ourselves.

In the coming chapters we’ll cover various common sense methods and thought processes to help bring back some of that lost self esteem or motivation through simple recommendations that anyone can do and understand, but most importantly how to change the image you see in the mirror, for the better.

THE GUILTY MIRROR

1

missing image file

Oh what a tangled web we weave. This is often is the case that we become oblivious to self destructive tendencies or very slowly decaying attitudes concerning our desires to better our self esteems. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, or should I say to be wasted, on the hundreds of negativities that bog down our daily lives to the point of being non-productive or the desire to be.

The mirror is a metaphorical tool to help us navigate back to where our minds need to be in order to make the turn towards helping ourselves. We have learned and witnessed that most successful rehabilitation and self improvement programs begin with the first step — admission of guilt or realization that there is a problem. Only then will we be able to take a personal x-ray to help us better determine the underlying issues so we can move forward. This is where the mirror comes into play.

Many of us get hung up on the fact that other people, not us, are the main cause of our unwillingness to seek positive alternatives. If we could just change those naysayers and people that tend to tick us off on a consistent basis, our lives would be so much better. The nerve of people who urinate in our breakfast cereal and choose to disagree with us. I believe you get the idea without any further nonsensical rambling concerning those anti-positive attituders.

I have been so influenced over the years by many people fitting the description of "anti-positive attituder" that it has affected me in negative and sometimes unhealthy manners to the point I refuse to change or snap out of