Live Empowered. Lead Empowered.: Helping You Take the Next Best Step

By Amie Torkelson

God has a big purpose for each of us. He wants us to engage and make impactful, influential decisions. Yet many of us struggle to believe we are capable of, or even worthy of, achieving this great purpose for our lives. Although we all have obstacles that hold us back, we can take small steps right now—just as we are in this moment—to live out our God-given purpose.

In an uplifting guide, Amie Torkelson shares practical tools, scripture, personal stories, and encouragement to help happiness seekers focus on moving forward, address roadblocks as they occur, tackle the things that once seemed out of reach, transform daily habits, and ultimately live and lead on purpose with an empowering mission. Others will learn how to heal from past wounds, define success, build healthy relationships, say ‘no’ more intentionally, care for their mental and physical health, bring positivity into their space, and organize their lives. Included are introspective questions and action steps that help define a clear path ahead.

Live Empowered. Lead Empowered. is an inspiring guide that offers tools, wisdom, and scripture to help anyone who wants to grow personally and spiritually, move forward with confidence, and live with and for a purpose.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 8, 2024
• ISBN: 9798385018444

Amie Torkelson

Amie Torkelson is an entrepreneur building a non-traditional life she loves. She has a fierce daughter who is already changing the world. Amie loves all things creative, and pursues a lifestyle of growth, sustainability, and zero waste. She embraces the posture of living with open hands and an open door.

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Copyright © 2024 Amie Torkelson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Interior Image Credit: Hannah Sophia Photographer

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1845-1 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1846-8 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1844-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024902332

WestBow Press rev. date: 04/03/2024

CONTENTS

Introduction

Part: 1: The Healing Journey

Chapter 1 We All Have Baggage

Chapter 2 Healing Is a Journey

Chapter 3 How Do You Define Success?

Chapter 4 God Has Such Big Plans for You

Part: 2: Relationships and Communication

Chapter 5 Building Healthy Relationships

Chapter 6 Be Brave Enough to Say No

Chapter 7 Your Words Matter

Part: 3: Whole-Body Health

Chapter 8 Taking Care of Your Mental Health

Chapter 9 Taking Care of Your Physical Health

Chapter 10 Making an Intentional Schedule

Chapter 11 Bringing Only Positivity into Your Space

Part: 4: Creating Systems for Your Home and Life

Chapter 12 Making Healthy Choices Easy

Chapter 13 Organizing Your Home

Chapter 14 Cleaning and Budgeting

Chapter 15 Sustainable Living

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

Book List

Notes

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The information and advice contained in this book are based on the research and personal experience of the author. They do not replace the advice of a healthcare or mental health professional. The publisher and author are not responsible for any adverse effects resulting from the suggestions in this book. All matters pertaining to your mental and physical health should be supervised by a professional.

This book is

dedicated to all the people who have shared their dreams with me, whether you are walking them out or still dreaming. You have inspired me to share my passion for just starting right where you are. To those I know intimately and those I have yet to meet, here are the things I would tell my friends. I believe in you as much as I believe in them.

INTRODUCTION

He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. He did all this so you would never say to yourself, ‘I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy.’ Remember the LORD your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful. (Deuteronomy 8:16–18).¹

LIVE EMPOWERED

Are you living on purpose, for a purpose? Or are you of the thought that life is just happening and will keep happening whether you engage with it or not?

God has a big purpose for each one of us. He wants us to engage and make decisions that will impact and influence. Yet so many of us struggle to believe we are capable of, or even worthy of, achieving this great purpose for our lives.

We all have obstacles that hold us back: past wounds that need to be healed, our mental and physical health, the way we communicate with others, how we spend our days, and what we allow into our spaces. This book is all about the small steps you can take right now—just as you are in this moment—to live out your purpose.

Part of my inspiration for this book was the people in my life who I could see had such big potential but who hadn’t quite found it in themselves. When they told me their dreams, I could look at them and say authentically, That’s incredible. You can do that! The only problem was they couldn’t believe it for themselves. It’s what’s inside of us, not what’s outside of us, that holds us back from living our biggest dreams.

I believed in these people so much, but I couldn’t do the work for them. I know this because this is the journey I have gone through. I have had to go through my own process of healing and make the changes that allow me to live fully in my calling. I’m still growing and will be for my whole life.

Sometimes, it takes just one person who has walked the path before to encourage us to keep the course. I have had lots of people do that for me, and I hope to be one small voice that empowers you to do the work.

I am a firm believer in working through the garbage, not just pushing it down. When we try to push it down, it will always come back up. Someone gave me the visual of trying to hold a beach ball underwater. The farther down you push it, the higher it will pop into the air when it inevitably comes back up. The more we try to push down our emotions, the more out of control they will be when they finally burst. We have to work through our emotions for them to lose their power.

I want to hold your hand on this journey. You should get a few other people to do the same. I am so excited for you to be pursuing growth. It isn’t about me giving you the answers. It is about reflecting and being introspective.

Everything you need is inside of you. Trust me, I know how ridiculous that can sound when you feel like you have nothing left, but I promise you there is hope and life on the other side. You don’t have to be bound and limited by the negative beliefs that keep you stuck.

I want to give you practical tools to move forward, yes, but mostly, I want to be your cheerleader. I want to encourage you that no matter how hard it feels, keep leaning in.

Do the work. It will be worth it.

LEAD EMPOWERED

You, my friend, have something valuable to offer the world. You don’t have to go learn a new skill. You don’t have to go to school to become an expert. You don’t need to be certified or qualified in the eyes of the world. Share what you already know. The truest thing you have to give is what is already inside of you.

Identify and speak truth to the lies that hold you back. Build the confidence to share your gift. If you are afraid to lead, it’s not because you don’t have something to share. You just need to identify what it is that’s holding you back from sharing it.

This is the foundation of Live Empowered. Lead Empowered. When we live empowered, we live on purpose with a mission. We have something to share with others, and we propel them into motion, purpose, and passion. Here’s the thing: a person doesn’t have to have the same purpose and passion as you for you to inspire them. Creating a community with diverse strengths is actually more powerful and effective.

We all live with voices in our heads that try to hold us back. If we’d stop believing these lies, more people would be living their dreams and sharing their gifts. The spectrum of lies is wide and far. Sometimes we believe our knowledge is too basic or that it’s common knowledge. Sometimes we believe no one will be interested in what we have to say.

The reality is that the thing that comes most easily to you is often the thing you should be sharing. That thing that is easy for you is hard for someone else, and what is easy for them might be hard for you. That is why we need each other. Think about that for a minute. You can use your knowledge to empower others. Just because something comes naturally to you doesn’t mean you don’t have the authority to share it. Our culture says if it isn’t hard, it isn’t valuable, but what if the fact that it comes easily to you actually makes it more valuable?

When you are living fully in your strength, people will be attracted to you even if other people have similar skills. Living confidently in your strength is magnetic.

FEEDING THE RIGHT WOLF

I ran year-round in high school. There was cross country in the fall, track in the spring, and off-season running in the winter and summer. I had the most invested coach in history. She wasn’t just invested in our times and having a winning team. She was invested in us as people.

Every season, she would pick an animal as our theme. Throughout the season, she would share facts about the animal and relate them to us as a team and as runners. She always saw the temperature of the team: she could tell when we were down or struggling with our confidence. She used facts and stories about our chosen animal for the season to bring us together and encourage us.

One season, our animal was a wolf. This is when she introduced us to the tale of the two wolves. This story has appeared in many different forms and from many different sources over the years, but the heart of the story is a grandfather telling his grandson about a battle that happens within us. The battle is between two wolves: one that is evil and one that is good. The evil wolf is full of greed, jealousy, anger, and regret, and the good wolf is full of love, kindness, empathy, and generosity. The grandson asks which wolf will win. The grandfather replies that the wolf that wins will be the one you feed.

Why aren’t more people living their dreams? Because they are feeding the wrong wolf.

This story illustrates so simply the heart behind the work that is to come in these pages. How can you feed the right wolf? It’s a journey; it will shift little by little, not overnight. I am inviting you into these pages to look closer at which wolf you are feeding.

ENGAGING WITH YOUR STORY

The way to get the most out of these pages is by engaging with your story, so grab a journal or open your laptop and get ready to write. These pages are full of opportunities to engage with prompts and action steps because I believe it is so important to write things down. It raises your sense of commitment. After you set this book down, I don’t want your inspiration to fade. I want these pages to hold you accountable and reinspire you every time you pick them up. The impact of these pages will be exponentially greater if you commit to taking concrete action steps.

I anticipate this journey will bring up a lot of feelings. Embrace them. Hold space for them. Take them to God. I challenge you to put aside all judgments of yourself, all thoughts of what others think of you, and all expectations for this journey. Be brave. Be willing to explore and process any emotions that come up without needing to have control of the process.

THE TIME IS NOW!

I am so excited for your journey. You are strong and brave, and I believe you can face that thing that has been on your someday list for years (and the reasons why it was on your someday list). You can do the thing you felt was too daunting, too big of a transition, or too out there.

I am all too familiar with the voices in my head—the ones hardest to silence or redirect—that tell me my vision is out of reach. They tell me my dream is too big, too wild, or can only happen far into the future. The voices try to convince me to give it up altogether. You just need one very important person to believe in you: you.

By the end of this book, you will have the direction, action steps, and motivation you need to start tackling the things that once felt out of reach. Actually, I hope you don’t wait until the end! I hope you find the strength and inspiration to just begin. You don’t have to get it all done next week, just keep pressing forward in the direction you want to go. You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to be full of fight.

Rev. Robert H. Schuller asked the question, What would you attempt to do if you knew you wouldn’t fail?² What does your mind run to? This question can reveal our deepest passion if we let the walls fall down.

Quick, get a pen. Start dreaming! What is your biggest passion? What about the world do you want to change? The thing that bothers us most is often the thing we are called to help change. Is it homelessness, slavery, addiction, poverty, or another humanitarian crisis? What gets you on your soapbox? What is your wildest dream? What would you like to impact? If you had no limitations and unlimited resources, what would you pursue?

No holdbacks.

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PART 1

THE HEALING JOURNEY

1

WE ALL HAVE BAGGAGE

I so vividly remember one summer day when I was stuck in my home. The smoke from the forest fires was so thick it wasn’t safe to go outside. I remember having a cup of tea and sitting with my toddler in the playroom. On this day, there wasn’t anything I should be doing; there were conditions out of my control. I felt this wave of peacefulness. I wanted to do this every day just because I chose to, not because it was the only thing I could do.

This was a defining moment for me. It was a clear image of what my life could be like.

For so long, work was one of my biggest drugs. It is so measurable. It is clear how much I have gotten done and how far there is to go before a project is complete. To be busy and to work was the way I proved my value. When I wasn’t working, I was fighting massive battles with guilt and shame. The best way I found to relax was to move a hundred miles a minute. I know now that was coping, not relaxing.

Despite all this, I had a dream. My dream was to sit on the couch, drinking a cup of tea on a Saturday morning, just being present. I desperately wanted to enjoy a relaxing day with no agenda, to-do list, or guilt.

There would be days I set aside just to spend time with my family, but that’s when the mental storms came. When I was spending time with my family, I would feel guilty for not working, but then I would start working and feel guilty for not spending time with my family. I so desperately wanted to break free from this cycle, but it felt impossible.

Then, in October 2019, God called me to a year of rest. At first, I couldn’t imagine not working. I wanted to work. Work kept me feeling comfortable and safe.

And yet, just a month after I first heard that call, I committed to taking a year of rest.

That year of rest is why this book exists. I started writing as a way to process my feelings and take note of all the things I was learning.

I would not be where I am today in my healing journey if I hadn’t made the decision to rest. It is the scariest thing I ever did, and I am so thankful I did it.

WHAT’S YOUR DRUG?

I was spending time with a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and fifteen years sober. She is someone who has turned their past into wisdom and insightfulness. During our conversation, she used the phrase their drug of choice in reference to a person who flipped cars. This phrase really struck me. She has known true addiction, and still, this is the phrase she used to describe what to many would seem like just a harmless hobby.

We often find it easy to identify an addiction when it is related to alcohol or drugs, but really, it’s not about the substance or the activity. It is that we are using something to mask or run from our pain.

Bring awareness to what it is you are running to. Identifying what we are running to makes it so much easier to spot when we are running. From there, it is easier to find what we are running from.

For me, it has taken time to notice what I am running to because it is so subtle. This might be the same for you. One might eat a snack from their desk drawer or a piece of a chocolate bar, not giving any notice to what triggered their brain to want that snack or piece of chocolate. Okay, to be fair, when does chocolate not sound good? But bring awareness to it.

When I took my year of rest and put a hold on working, I started noticing more and more that food is another one of my drugs. Sugar and overeating are just other forms of stuffing and hiding.

Sugar is addictive. Dr. Mark Hyman, in his book Eat Fat, Get Thin, says, Sugar and processed foods have been shown to be eight times more addictive than cocaine.³ If you feed your body sugar every time it feels a bad emotion, you’ll begin to crave it every time you feel bad. It’s like Pavlov’s dog experiment. At first, the dogs didn’t respond to the sound of the bell they heard before they ate. They responded to the food. Once they learned to associate the bell with their food, they would salivate when they heard the bell. They expected food when they heard that sound.

If we have done an action long enough, we will automatically resort to that action even if it is hurting us.

I have found for myself that my food tendencies stem from childhood. I grew up with food insecurity. As an adult, I would scarf down food, overeat, and eat to feel secure. My weight didn’t show it, but I’ve experienced all sorts of other health issues because of it. My body was telling me this overeating wasn’t okay. It wasn’t until I brought awareness to when I was eating that I started to unravel some of the emotions behind why I was eating.

The more aware you are of your drug, the more you can choose healing over escape, and the more empowered you will become. You can choose to lean into the hard feelings rather than