Tales of the Single Woman: A Humorous Encounter with the Single Nigerian Woman

By Chioma Obiefuna

The book is about the many facets of the life of the single woman in the West African country, Nigeria. Using real life (but fictionalized) tales of some of these single women's experiences to add colour, it paints a picture of the many stereotypes, general perceptions and attitudes towards the mature single woman in a more conservative society. It also highlights some of the every day challenges these women face as they remain unattached.
The book adopts a humorous, yet story telling, approach to an issue that has become a major conversation header in the Nigerian society.
It ends with advice on how woman can live their single lives fearlessly and without apologies.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Aug 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456787707

Chioma Obiefuna

The book is about the very interesting and multi faceted life of the single woman in the West African country, Nigeria. Chioma Obiefuna is a Nigerian woman, resident in her home country. After acquiring degrees in Mass Communications and an MBA in Business Administration, she worked in the financial services industry for ten years before leaving her consuming job to pursue more personal goals and interests. She is a keen observer of human nature; she is also friend to many single women in her home land and have watched, listened, empathised and sympathised with their many emotional roller coasters and journeys including the funny and not-so-funny. On many occasions, she has found herself wincing over the general attitude, perceptions and jokes directed towards this amazing group of women, without regard to their personal life achievements. Her personal motto is to live life happy, utilising the power of the mind over matter. She is a strong believer that the pursuit of personal happiness is as unique as every individual and no one should feel obliged to live the dreams and aspirations set down by societal guidelines. She is also passionate about the philosophy of not being slaves to our environment but working hard at living our best lives, whether or not it is in conformity with the society's acceptable standards. She is wife to a refreshingly unconventional man, mother to three lively children and friend to an assortment of people whom she shares many conversations with.

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© 2011 by Chioma Obiefuna. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 08/02/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4567-8769-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-8770-7 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Authors Note: Please note that names and stories used in this book have been modified to ensure anonymity. Any resemblances to actual occurrences are purely coincidences.

Contents

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Introduction

Reasons for the Single Life

Tales of Some Single Women

Humorous and Not-so-humorous reactions to the singles in our midst

Challenges of the Matured Single

The Single Types

The New Single—Living Your Life

in the Ultimate Way

About the Author

DEDICATION

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I dedicate this book to all the fabulous single women in Nigeria. Special greetings to my best friends and those who opened their hearts and shared their experiences with me for this project… . you know who you are. I love you girls. Keep the humour flag flying!!!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

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I would like to express my most sincere gratitude to my husband, Chudi, a very strong neutral—who contributed ideas to this project.

Introduction

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If you’re reading this book, then I’m going to assume you’re as open minded as I am… . and have a sense of humour too. Oh yes!! In our cultural climate, a sense of humour is necessary to survive as a single matured woman. Before I go further, let me clarify: this is not an academic work. I am not a psychologist, a sociologist or a scholar in any way. I am not even single. But before you say ‘Why is she writing this stuff then?’, let me say that I fall under one of the categorisations outlined in later pages of this book. I’ll leave you to decide which one you think I fit into. Mostly, however, I know quite a number of single women and I have watched, listened, empathised and sympathised with their many emotional roller coasters. I have also been mortified by certain observations I have made on the general perception and attitude towards the mature single woman and have found myself wincing on many occasions at some of the jibes taken at them or the jokes coined from their status.

Unfortunately, in our society, the single woman is not as respected as she should be. No matter her accomplishments, she is judged as slightly less than whole if she is without a husband by her side. People would applaud her, but they would also wonder about the reason for her status. Some would pity her, some would gloat about her inability to get a man and there would be those who would imagine all the attitudinal issues she must have which have made her unattractive to the opposite sex.

All these perceptions can be attributed to the accepted ‘soul mate ideal’ advocated by social scientists and the general populace at large. This basically reinforces the idea that human beings can only be fulfilled when they have a partner in the form of a husband or wife. Looking at it, this ideal is also espoused by the religion of Christianity whereby God looked at Adam, saw he was lonely and decided to make him a helpmate. From this, we can safely assume that God felt there was a vacuum in Adam’s life, concluded that he needed a partner to complete him, hence the woman. I firmly believe this is the reason why everyone feels that need to have someone whom they can share their lives with, almost as if we are created with an innate vacuum in our DNA. This