Rushing to Distraction: the Heartbreak Diaries

By The Blakk Dahlia

Rushing to DISTRACTION | The Foolish Heart from the Heartbreak Diaries Series
How do you know when to give up?
Farrah's so focused on being her best self, she has no time to devote to a relationship. That was until…Jamie. One encounter with a charming man turned her focus into entertaining the idea of romance. He makes it blatantly obvious that commitment is NOT on his agenda. But it doesn't make her see the reality of their relationship. As Jamie gives "push and pull" affections, Farrah is stuck on an imaginary possibility of a love that will never flourish.

To her defense, she never asked for the feelings. He reminded her how amazing companionship could be. If only…he was ready to be all in.

The outcome is obvious…but how? and why? Are women secretly addicted to romantic distractions? Or is it the chase that makes him more attractive? This story gives the answers and relatable perspectives from a "foolish heart".

Will her constant attempts to make him love her fail? Or will he see her sacrifices as admirable and CHOOSE her?
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This lust-filled suspense read will open reader's minds to questions that goes un-asked when dating. Do you see me as the one? Are you ready for a relationship? No? Well, is it because you simply don't want it with me?

 

the Heartbreak Diaries is a collection of romance-suspense stories. This series dives deep into the various hearts we love, like, or lust with when approaching dating, relationships, marriage, and even situationships. What's unique about this series are the "hearts" in each book telling their story from a real and vulnerable place. Each book has a "dear diary" moment from an integral character, displaying their logic and true intentions within the heartbreak.
 

The Series:

Wrong Vengeance (The Toxic Heart)

Devastation or Destiny??? (The Settled Heart)

The Perfect Sin (The Selfish Heart)

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Blakk Dahlia
• Release date: Jul 8, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386227465

The Blakk Dahlia

E. Alexcina Brown adds another slash to her name, auther, in writing under the moniker, The Blakk Dahlia. The Model/Actress/Blogger/Editor-In-Chief has released various ventures within the enertainment and fashion industries in front of the camera and behind the scenes. Wearing many hats, this entrepreneur shows that being a creator can open many doors while inspiring others to take risks in pursuing their dreams. The Blakk Dahlia will be releasing her first book series the Heartbreak Diaries delving into the true inner thoughts and various routes of heartache and how women cope and move on. Photo Credit: Kadijah Watkins

Book preview

Dedicating this book to anyone who has ever had a naïve heart. May you learn the lessons and receive all the love you deserve!

Rushing to Distraction

STANDING IN FRONT OF the bathroom mirror, wearing a damp towel, Farrah stares beyond her reflection. She sees beauty, passion, a giving heart, a loving spirit, and inner yearnings for love. Everything he doesn’t see in her. Her mind floods with questions. Did she try enough? Show enough? Give enough? Was SHE enough?

She hastily wipes the shower sweat from her face in an attempt to erase the questions. It works...a little. Taking a deep breath to exhale the remnants of doubts, Farrah proceeds with getting ready for the day. Keeping her towel held up with her hands over her heart, she tiptoes down the hall, as wrinkles take their place on her forehead. Farrah’s mouth crumples into a frown; her chest retracts deeply as she tries to hold it together.

Get it together girl. Stop thinking about this man. She thinks to herself. I gotta get ready for work. Get ready for work Farrah. Stop this and get ready for work.

After a little mental encouragement, the tears are held in, and breathing is back to normal. The wrinkles keep their place as the frown goes away. Farrah continues to give herself the pep talk so she can make it down the hallway without falling to pieces.

Getting ready for work is the last thing she wants to do. Farrah leans against the bedroom doorway imagining him waiting for her. This facade quickly fades as the reality of being alone hits. By now, she was supposed to be in a relationship. Everything was supposed to happen just the way she’d imagine. It all went down in flames due to his lack of commitment. Facing that reality hurts too much so Farrah dials back into blissful thoughts. Stuck in the doorway with her past being a figment of imagination and the present fighting to bring her back. Her head collapses into her hands trying to regain control over these feelings.

Farrah tries to think of what could motivate her to get ready for work....lotion, deodorant, perfume. Lotion, deodorant, perfume...if she can grab these items, the focus can bring her back to the present moment and hopefully stay.

Perfume. The same perfume he loved to smell on her. A smile sneaks across her face remembering the initial reaction of the first time she wore it for him. The love that was made that night was enchanting. Little did Farrah know, to her it was making love, to him just another night having sex with a woman he didn’t plan on loving.

He planted his head on her neck to be his air. Feeling his slow deep breaths on her neck sent her body into an insatiable mode wanting him all night. After that night, Farrah only wore that perfume for him. Anytime he came through the door smelling that special scent, he knew they were in for a passionate evening in bed or anywhere else in the house. That was her bait. A way to woo him into spending the night or at least staying longer than he had planned. After a while, the semi-aphrodisiac stopped working because of his ways. Farrah could no longer get him to stay with her perfume or tricks in the bedroom. The thought of that snaps her back into the lonely state.

Forget about it. She thinks to herself.

Lotion...the only lotion she can find is her favorite brand of Jergens. The same brand he rushed to put on while running late for work. No special smell to capture his attention, but it reminds her of him. Can’t work. Deodorant...no memory there, so that was a good start.

Although she didn’t have a fond memory with him and deodorant, the application of the hygiene product took her back to the times when they would wake up together to get ready for work. Those two were always in sync with morning routines. Never getting in each other’s way. Sneaking in sweet kisses and love taps as they passed by each other. Her mind is drifting back to that place. Feelings of happiness and sadness are fighting in her head. There is nothing she can do to stop her from thinking of him.

Distracted...Farrah is distracted.

6 MONTHS PRIOR

HEY...ENJOYING YOUR dessert? He asked walking up to Farrah’s table.

She was seated alone outside of her favorite bakery enjoying a semi-hot latte and a sugar doughnut. A promotion was on the horizon for her at the Brand Management firm. Four long years of going the extra mile as a Junior Ad Account Manager and there was a big opportunity to elevate. Studying information for the interview and meetings ahead, she didn’t notice the caramel complexion with light brown eyes staring from three tables over. His eyes had been following her since she walked in, ordered, and found a table outside near the sun. The cool mid-Fall air was comfortable; the infrequent breezes made her want the golden circle in the sky to provide warmth as she sat in a long-sleeved sheer blouse.

Yea I am. Farrah replied with a small smile ready to get back to her reading materials.

My name is Jamie by the way. I just had to come over and introduce myself. I think you’re beautiful. He said talking with his hands.

Thank you! I appreciate the compliment she smirked putting her paperwork down to give him her full attention. I’m Farrah.

Faaarrraaaaah. That’s a pretty name. He said changing his tone.

She nodded to say thank you then proceeded to pick up her paperwork.

A quick moment of silence fell while Jamie waited for Farrah to invite him to her table. She didn’t. Her focus wasn’t on getting to know a stranger giving out a random-sweet compliment. That promotion was all she wanted at that time. He took the hint of the non-invite and continued.

Well, I didn’t want to bother you too much, but I just wanted to come over and say hi and hopefully get the opportunity to ask if you wanted to go out sometime...if that’s okay with you. He said holding his hands up chest level in a surrendering pose.

She was flattered but not thrilled. Farrah wanted love eventually, however at that moment, it wasn’t a necessity. On the other hand, the fella was looking very good. She was charmed by his take charge attitude to come over, introduce himself, and express an interest. What woman wouldn’t like that? However, the guard was present. The look on her face as she took her eyes off the paperwork and planted them him advised that he would have to do more than introduce himself to get a date.

I know it seems strange. But you’re gorgeous. Just want to get to know you that’s all. Nothing more than that.

Well, I...

I’m sorry. Do you have a man? Jamie interrupted.

No. She replied shaking her head.

Good. I didn’t want to seem disrespectful.

Farrah appreciated his respect. Still needed more before she obliged.

Do you do this often? She asked.

What? He asked pretending he didn’t know what Farrah was talking about.

Walk up to tables giving out compliments and asking for a date?

Jamie laughed. Noooo. I don’t. Honestly.

I can tell you’re focused on your work, so I won’t impose. But maybe when you’re done being a go-getter, you can find some time for me?

Farrah wanted to say no, it had been a long time since she had a date. Work was the significant other. However, the more Jamie talked and smiled, she almost thought about cheating.

Let’s exchange numbers, and I’ll call you if you’ve thought about it and you’re not interested....just send me to the voicemail. He suggested. I’ll still leave a message to try to change your mind.

Okay, that sounds good. Farrah replied laughing pulling the phone out of her sequin clutch.

Jamie stood six feet tall, muscular build with a muscular chest definition showing through his fitted shirt. He wore his hair cut low. Not a member of the beard gang, but the perfectly lined goat tee complimented his face VERY well. That turned Farrah on a bit, and his bright smile painting his face as he retrieved his phone from his pocket made her happy that she didn’t immediately turn him down.

They exchanged numbers and small talk about sweets before Jamie excused himself. He walked away from her table and gave a small sweet smile as a goodbye. She returned it with a blushing expression, taking a few minutes to regain focus back to work. Farrah giggled to herself at randomly meeting someone new. Although she felt the instant butterflies, she wasn’t in the mood to get her hopes up. Men complimented her frequently then turned out to be the typical no good kind who wasn’t worth the time.

She made frequent eye glances to see if Jamie was still in her viewpoint. He made it back to his table, gathered his things then left. Farrah wanted to make another eye connection with