Deferred Dreams

By Sherry Boardman

Jennifer Adams has recently lost a father to cancer, a brother to war, and now her mother's Alzheimer's is progressing to its end stages. Being alone, she faces the final broken link in her family. Although she loves her editing job, the thought in the back of her mind is the continual care she must provide for her ailing parent. Research proves to her there is no cure for this illness. As compassion fatigue and psychological distress threaten to overtake her, a new doctor offers no hope but is willing to travel this journey with her. Dr. Philip Donovan's frustration is evident when he can do little more than provide the latest medications to slow the progress of this illness. However, his counseling with the caregivers guides them in making the final steps easier for their emotional stability to remain intact. Jennifer values the new healer's advice, but is drawn to him in other ways. Philip becomes enamored with this particular caregiver and reaches out to provide the strength needed to come to terms with this illness and relive the many deferred dreams. Full length novel, storyline approximately 54,500 words. Romantic overtones. YA-Adult

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sherry Boardman
• Release date: Apr 15, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311551580

Sherry Boardman

After retiring from education and wanting to stay busy, I dug out all the manuscripts written through the years and began a new career, that of author. Smashwords has been amazing in its assistance in preparing for final publications. I was born and raised in Texas. Although I have lived in other states, I always return home to my roots. My books are written from the heart with my readers always in mind. I hope you find much enjoyment in allowing your mind to wander to other times and places and will return to my site often to see the latest creation available.

Book preview

Deferred Dreams

by Sherry Boardman

Copyright 2014 by Sherry Boardman

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

From the Author

This is a work of fiction. Names and characters and locales, other than those specifically researched and listed in the source reference section, either are the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Cover photo: morguefile.com by jorgeyu

Cover design: Sherry Boardman

Alzheimer’s Request

Do not ask me to remember.

Don’t try to make me understand.

Let me rest and know you’re with me.

Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I’m confused beyond your concept.

I’m sad and sick and lost.

All I know is that I need you

to be with me at all cost.

Do not lose your patience with me.

Do not scold or curse or cry.

I can’t help the way I’m acting.

I can’t be different though I try.

Just remember that I need you,

that the best of me is gone.

Please don’t fail to stand beside me.

Love me ‘til my life is gone.

Author Unknown

(Research indicates this was possibly composed by a husband whose wife of 40 years died due to complications caused by this illness.)

Deferred Dreams

Prologue

The fragile, fragrant plumeria and orchid petals fluttered in the gentle warm breeze of the trade winds as the lei was hurled into the rolling ebb tide. Jennifer swiped at the tears streaming down her cheeks. The deed was done. She had put it off longer than intended, but a last wish had been fulfilled.

Standing in the sand with toes squishing into the wet grit, she blew a kiss to the ring of blossoms being carried out to the seemingly endless sea.

I’ll miss you, Steven, she whispered to the glistening waters of Hawaii.

Her breath caught when she turned from the scene. She purposely selected this spot because of its seclusion. No tourist disturbed her moment of sorrow as she bid a final farewell to her loving brother.

Trudging back through the bottomless sand to the parking area, her hand pushed damp strands of hair away from her face. When she reached the pavement, she brushed the sand from her feet and slipped on her sandals. Once she sat behind the steering wheel of the rental, she leaned her head on hands griping the steering circle and sobbed. The only choice was to go forward. The day they received the notice her brother had been killed in a war thousands of miles away, her will to live slipped away for a time. Why had he signed up for that third tour? His time had been served, and the family thought his last visit home would become permanent. However, fate or destiny had other plans.

When she lifted her head, she watched the sun shimmering its final salute before disappearing below the horizon. The sight always thrilled others visiting the island, but her heart only felt anguish. Before he left her the last time, they promised each other to visit the islands. Steven had said he was so tired of the despicable conditions where he was stationed that he wanted to experience nature’s beauty and feel the cool wind blowing across the water. Now, that wish would become a mere memory of what could have been.

Memories of her dad’s sayings threaded through her mind. He once told her when things got tough, get rid of the bad by exhaling and then inhaling the good air. She closed her eyes.

Exhale. Inhale.

Jamming the key into the ignition, she blinked away fresh tears. At least her effort to book an earlier morning flight was successful, and she would be back in Los Angeles a half day sooner than previously scheduled. That wasn’t exactly a pleasant thought. Other matters of the heart awaited her attention.

Chapter One

Setting the manuscript aside, she shook her head and rubbed her eyes. Her first day back had produced little. The focus required to edit wanna be’s writing was just not there. Submissions deserved more concentration than she could manage at the moment. Shoving her chair back from her desk, her eyes surveyed the office. Heads were bent over stacks of neatly clipped pages. Fingers clicked on keyboards to advise if the material was suitable for the company’s present topics being sought or that it could be, but required more of this or that. She felt the frown form. The most difficult part of her job was to inform a potential client that a work was not proficient enough to be forwarded to the next desk. Some manuscripts were put into the slush pile for another review; more were discarded without further thought. She loved her job, but the valleys oftentimes became depressing. How many rejection letters had been typed today? More nays than congratulatory, she muttered.

Rising, she eyed the clock. Break time. It had been a long morning. Sleep patterns had been disrupted by Hawaii’s time difference. The previous night’s rest did not visit until well after midnight.

The machine in the break room greedily accepted the dollar bill shoved into the slot. She glanced at the snack machine and heard the soda choice plop down into its resting place.

I see you made it back.

Startled at the voice, Jennifer turned her head to greet Sharon’s cheery face while wondering if a frown ever disturbed the perfect features.

A second look at the vending machine offered no choices of her liking, so she picked up the soda and popped the silver tab before giving her friend deserved attention.

I did.

How was the trip?

Sharon’s question was genuine, but Jennifer wasn’t quite ready to discuss the journey.

Depressing. Sight seeing wasn’t really on the agenda. I accomplished the main reason I made the trip. Sighing, she sat down at one of the small round tables. Sharon followed her lead and reached for her friend’s hand and squeezed it while reviewing her appearance.

I see the sun kissed you. The lighter blond streaks are becoming.

Jennifer looked into the caring hazel eyes. I spent a little time on the beach.

Sharon sobered. Good for you. Again, I am so sorry for your loss, Jennifer. You and your brother were very close.

Tears stung, but she fought them back and just nodded.

And, Sharon continued, I regret your mother couldn’t go with you.

With a forced smiled, Jennifer’s shoulders lifted. Not possible at this point. She hardly knows me, and I have doubts she remembers Steven.

Sharon released Jennifer’s hand and sat back. When are you going to do something about that? You can’t put your life on hold because you have been forced to become a full time caregiver.

A finger traced the top of the aluminum can. Soon, Sharon. Very soon. Her eyes flitted about the room. Her companion said Mom was good while I was away and did everything that was asked of her. I was surprised.

After some of the issues you have had with her, I am also. She can be a handful from your accounts.

Jennifer didn’t want to discuss her mother’s illness, but she knew the time had come to make some decisions.

I have to locate another doctor, she said as her eyes focused back on the one across the table. The one we have used since this began is retiring.

No recommendations?

Shaking her head, Jennifer sighed. None yet. His nurse is supposed to call.

Sharon wagged a finger. You cannot wait too long. Perhaps you should phone the nurse and remind her. This is not something you just let go. The condition will not simply disappear.

I know. It was even more obvious after being away for only a few days.

The sooner, the better, my friend. You realize that.

A tear escaped from beneath closed lashes. Yes, I do. Brushing away the moisture, she opened her eyes to look at her compassionate friend. I still have a few details to finalize and I imagine a stack of official forms. You know how the government is. A ream of paper to be completed, then glanced over by whomever, and filed away.

You can manage a few forms, Jennifer, Sharon said, waving her hand in the air. You are educated well enough to answer anything asked.

With her elbow propped on the table, her finger twirled an errant curl. Even with a master’s degree in journalism, some questions are hard to decipher. Double talk.

Sharon chuckled and rose from her chair. I can only imagine. When walking out of the break room, she stopped and turned. Seriously, if there is anything I can offer, you know I’m here.

Jennifer nodded. Yes, I do, and I appreciate all the support you have already given me. You are a rock and special, special friend.

With a smile, Sharon turned and left Jennifer to her thoughts. She didn’t want to think. Not about this. Other things needed to fill her mind at the moment.

She was soon back at her desk. Breathing a groan, she pulled the discarded manuscript in front of her, hoping to lose herself in the words of a potential author’s future bestseller. Perhaps she could make another’s dream come true. The many she had were now secreted in a safe place in her heart. Perhaps someday...

Chapter Two

The sedan was steered into the parking lot and under a vacant awning space furnished by the upscale condo unit. The sight always pleased her. Her position was solid and her salary adequate enough to enjoy some of the nicer things in life. The generous trust left by her father further assured financial security. However, each day that emotion was short lived when she was reminded that monetary pleasures did little to solve all problems.

Sighing, she walked up the steps and slipped the key into the recently installed deadbolt. Her mother had become prone to wandering, so extra security became necessary. She smiled at Betty after she closed and relocked the door. The young lady had been a Godsend when the hunt began for someone to be with her mother during the day. Their schedule matched perfectly. Betty was attending nursing school at night, so welcomed the employment. With little to do, she spent most of her time studying.

After putting her purse and briefcase on the desk, Jennifer turned and repeated the same question asked daily.

How were things today?

Betty nodded. All went well, Ms. Adams. She took her medication and ate a good lunch. Then, she napped most of the afternoon.

Good for you.

Have you heard anything about a new doctor?

There was little Jennifer had not shared with the day caretaker. Everything had to be out in the open in the event something unusual occurred. She shook her head in answer.

Nothing yet. I didn’t take time to call the nurse being the first day back.

Gathering her books, Betty looked up and studied her employer’s face. You look tired, Ms. Adams. Why don’t you take advantage of the quiet time and relax a bit yourself.

Jennifer pulled back the wealth of hair and formed it into a bun. Several times she had asked Betty to use her first name, but the young student refused to do so which made Jennifer feel older than her twenty-nine years. Today, she certainly felt older. The idea of taking some self-time was tempting.

She smiled as Betty turned to leave. Perhaps I can. When she unlocked the door for the girl to exit, she extended her thanks as she always did. I will see you in the morning.

I will be here.

The door was secured once again, and the key placed on top of the bookshelf where she hoped her mother would never look. Some of the recent changes were the treasure hunts her mother conducted at night after Jennifer went to bed believing all was quiet for the evening. When small items began to disappear from the accent tables, it became obvious a treasure trove would be in her mother’s bedroom if searched. If items were found and returned to their places, Jennifer knew they would disappear once more, so she dismissed the idea of going through her loved one’s personal things. They weren’t going to leave the premises. The less confrontation, the better.

Eyeing the couch, she thought she might stretch out for a few minutes. Dinner would be leftovers, so no cooking tonight. Just as she settled herself, the cell phone rang. Irritated at the interruption, she sat up and reached for it.

Ms. Adams?

The voice wasn’t readily recognizable.

Yes, this is Jennifer Adams.

Laura Redford at Dr. Swenson’s office.

Immediately clearing her mind, she sat straighter as if her brain would become more alert.

Yes, Nurse Redford. I’ve been waiting for your call.

I apologize for the length of time. However, with the doctor moving out and the new one moving in, we have been a bit unorganized.

The new doctor in the same office as the retiring one? That was a boon. Her mother should adapt to the new doctor without too much effort if it was in the same environment. Plus, all of the medical files would remain.

I understand, Jennifer replied. I made a note earlier to call you in the morning.

I know your mother’s appointment is overdue, the nurse continued, and I am giving first preference to those who have waited.

I appreciate that. So, the new doctor is qualified to treat this illness?

It was apparent the nurse was making an effort not to chuckle, but the tone was in her voice. Of course, Ms. Adams. Beyond qualified. His specialization is in this area. He recently moved from northern California to begin his own practice. That he heard of Dr. Swenson’s retirement was a miracle for the patients and us. His background has been thoroughly researched, and those providing references were screened to be certain the information was authentic.

Jennifer smiled at the nurse’s assurances. "You have been busy."

Yes, quite. The sound of shuffling pages floated through the phone line. Now, if you and your mother would like to meet with the new doctor, I can schedule you for late Thursday afternoon so you won’t have to take off from work too early.

You are very considerate, and that would be just fine.

All right. Four o’clock Thursday?

Although she preferred not to wait almost three more days, she was pleased to get an appointment so soon since the new doctor might be overwhelmed for several weeks trying to catch up. Dr. Swenson had begun to cancel his appointments some time ago when the decision was made to retire.

Jennifer grabbed the pad and pen always nearby and began making notes. That would be perfect. And, what is this new doctor’s name?

A chuckle did escape then. I am so sorry. His name is Dr. Philip Donovan.

The name was noted. M.D.?

Yes, of course, and many other initials after that, but I can’t seem to remember them all.

It was Jennifer’s turn to chuckle. Quite all right. I am certain diplomas will be on the wall to study.

After a moment of silence, the nurse responded quietly, Yes, if enough space is available.

A genuine laugh finally bubbled its way upward. I-I’m certain all the information I require will be available.

Indeed, the nurse answered even more softly. Plus, a brochure.

Jennifer did laugh then...hard. It felt good. Finally, she took a breath. I will be certain to pick up one. We will see you Thursday then.

I think you both will approve of him, Ms. Adams. He is fairly young for so much experience and quite pleasant to be around.

I will take your word for it and pass on my opinion after our appointment.

Clicking off the phone, Jennifer sank back against the cushions. Relief swept through her body. She had worried more than she