Karma: The Fragile Line Series, #6

By Sarah Dawson Powell

Karma

The Fragile Line Series~ Book Six

 

The unexpected happens when Sadie and Jenny travel to Los Angeles.

 

Sadie is presented with an opportunity she cannot refuse if for no other reason than to allow karma to run its course. Her choice turns into a nightmare she can't escape. Sadie grasps for something she can't have and ends up clinging to the only familiar thing left in her life while hoping for the one thing she wants more than anything else.  

 

Jenny takes a leap of faith and is excited for the new addition to her life to arrive. When a routine doctor's appointment delivers news she hadn't anticipated, Jenny can't help but see it as karma for things she's done. She keeps the secret to herself, unsure how to recover from the mess she has made of her life.

 

Content warning: Drug/alcohol abuse, pregnancy/abortion/miscarriage, suicidal ideation, sexual assault

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sarah Dawson Powell
• Release date: Jan 1, 2024
• ISBN: 9798215268551

Book preview

This book is dedicated to Taylor Swift for being so very raw and real in her music and for being an inspiration to my storytelling from the very beginning.

And also because my daughter was listening to Karma when I asked her if I should dedicate this book to Taylor.

image-placeholderimage-placeholder

Content warning: substance abuse, pregnancy, suicidal ideation, sexual assault, mention of miscarriage/abortion.

Copyright © 2023 by Sarah Dawson Powell

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permission requests, contact [e-mail].

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

First edition 2023

Contents

1.devil in the red dress

2.on a sunday

3.hair & fake boobs 

4.tired of running

5.i could’ve been this guy

6.sit there & look pretty

7.the lotion

8.her feet never touched the floor

9.poison wrapped in pretty

10.what had she done?

11.i see you

12.bubbling to the surface

13.power

14.and then she changed her mind

15.poked holes

16.No.

17.it’s dead

18.pretending to be

19.maybe, maybe not

20.all in your face & obvious

21.i hate when you cry

22.you have to tell him

23.just sign it

24.you’re all terrible

25.trying to be her friend

26.it's a matter of forgiving

27.the four of us

28.never been anything normal

29.fun and games

30.bigger balls than the rest of you

31.became friends over the toilet

32.pink

Author's Note

Playlist

About the Author

devil in the red dress

Ryan Gallagher spotted Sadie as soon as he stepped off the elevator into the hotel lobby. She had her back to him, her face upturned towards Trevor’s. Her blonde hair hung down her back in a French braid, and Ryan wondered who braided it. Sadie didn’t know how to French braid; he’d always done it for her.

It had been almost four months since he’d last seen her, after having left her a note in the bathroom to end their relationship of over five years.

Trevor watched Ryan approach, his weight shifting on the plush red carpeting below his feet. Sadie slowly turned to face Ryan. Worry consumed her blue eyes. She’d put on some weight, no longer appearing anorexic. She looked healthy. He gave her a small smile, trying to reassure her his intentions were good, even though he wasn’t quite sure what his intentions were. The sounds and images of the people passing through the hotel lobby faded away when he saw her face.

Hey, he said to Trevor as he approached, trying to sound casual. Sadie looked to Trevor, and he placed his hand on the small of her back. Ryan pushed his thumbnail into his forefinger to keep from allowing annoyance to show on his face.

Hey, Trevor said flatly.

Besides working through things with Sadie, he and Trevor needed to talk too. But not right now. First, he had to make things right with Sadie.

She faced him, her body turning in his direction. He pretended it didn’t bother him that Trevor’s hand was on her. He pretended he never trusted Trevor.

He pretended he never hurt Sadie even once.

Everything Ryan did was a part of a big act now, including the grin he flashed as he asked, Who braided your hair?

She reached for the tail of her braid and pulled it over her shoulder. Trevor, she mumbled, her eyes falling to the floor.

Her brokenness, her fear. He did that to her. Would she ever be able to look at him again the way she had in the beginning? It looks nice.

She stared at him, her eyes wide with wonder. He’d always told her to wear her hair down, flowing like a golden cloak around her shoulders. Her eyes found Trevor’s, making him feel an ache in his gut.

Ryan gestured toward a sitting area in the lobby of the hotel, two chairs and an overstuffed couch. Wanna sit down and talk?

She kept her eyes on Trevor’s face and shrugged. He smiled at her before kissing the top of her head, making Ryan’s stomach tighten. He didn’t know how much of this he could handle.

I’ll be right here, Trevor said softly. His hand fell from her back as she stepped away from him.

Sadie sat in a dark blue overstuffed chair, pulling her legs to her chest, closing herself off from him. He pretended this didn’t bother him, that none of it bothered him. He knew more about her than Trevor ever would. In fact, her closing herself off was probably an attempt to keep herself from allowing Ryan to be too close to her heart, where he belonged.

How’ve you been? he asked, sitting on the sofa across from her.

Fine, she answered, staring past him.

He needed more than this. He wanted more. Hopes for an actual conversation were fading fast. She wasn’t herself. Something was off. I hear you’re sober.

She nodded.

Good for you.

Her eyes found his. When you’re not constantly walking on eggshells, it’s a lot easier to make decisions for yourself.

On instinct, he narrowed his eyes. It was a reflex, really. Whenever Sadie said something like that, something snide or confrontational, he automatically became defensive. He’d have to work to fix that. Taking a deep breath, he looked away from her, his eyes settling on a family coming into the lobby, suitcases in tow. The two children, both boys, gazed in awe around the hotel lobby. I don’t want to fight, Sadie.

We’re not, she said confidently. I’m just telling you the truth.

Trevor treats you well?

You don’t care about that. She sat up, pulling her legs underneath her.

Ryan looked at her. She looked past him to where Trevor stood in wait. I do care, despite what you think.

Oh, so now you care what I think too?

Drawing in a deep breath, he shook his head. Please stop being so defensive. I just want to talk.

About what?

How we can move on from everything that happened and maybe be friends.

She scoffed, bringing her brows together. "Seriously, Ryan? In case you haven’t noticed, I have moved on. And friends? She shook her head. I don’t think so. Leaning forward, she continued. And I don’t think I will ever get over the things you did to me. You need to realize that. You are evil and I hate you so much it hurts. But you know what feels so good? Being able to look you in the face and tell you that. It’s the best feeling in the world to watch your face as you realize that I would be fine with never seeing you again. And hopefully after this, I won’t have to."

He sat back on the sofa, his eyes locked on her. It burned him not to be able to react the way he wanted, the way he always had. His jaw clenched tight as he closed his eyes and breathed through his nose. When he opened his eyes, the smug look on her face made his blood boil. Too bad you won’t get that lucky.

She rolled her eyes. That sounds like a threat.

He focused on his breathing. Getting angry wasn’t going to help anything. It wasn’t even an option anymore. This is not how I wanted this conversation to go, Sadie. I wanted to hear about how you’re happy. About what you’ve been up to. I wanted to try to be friends.

Softness flashed in her blue eyes, but it was gone before he could confirm it. Too bad you don’t control me anymore.

I never wanted to hurt you. The words slipped out before he could stop them, and he knew she would throw them back at him, but they were true. He had never intended to hurt her; it wasn’t what he wanted. But once he started, he didn’t know how else to handle his anger.

And she’d accepted it. She’d allowed it.

Her laugh was cynical. Really? Is that why you kept doing it over and over and over again? Is that why you left me a note when you decided I was just getting in the way? She shook her head. Sounds to me like you need to work on figuring out how not to hurt people.

I guess I do. The words tumbled out of his mouth faster than he meant them to, but they were honest. I guess if you can get sober, anything is possible. He grinned. I just can’t help but wonder how long that will last.

She smiled, but it was insincere. If I have to keep seeing you, I don’t imagine much longer.

He chuckled. How do you think Trevor will handle that?

Handle what?

The real Sadie. Because we both know this sober imposter isn’t the real you.

She laughed again, a real laugh, and it made his heart swell with yearning. You mean the old Sadie, don’t you?

He cocked his head, loving every breath of how the conversation had turned. The banter, the angry undertones of their statements, it’s what Ryan lived for. He felt alive for the first time in months. I mean the real Sadie, not this girl sitting across from me pretending to be happy.

Now she narrowed her eyes, a playful smile on her pink lips. Who says I’m pretending?

Me. I can read you like a newspaper. You know that.

Leaning forward, she arched her eyebrows. I anticipate my half-assed attempt at sobriety will end sometime today. She leaned back in the chair. Just being around your ignorant ass makes me want to drink.

He laughed. Half-assed? She shrugged. Well, it’s good to know I still have some effect on you.

Yeah, the sight of you actually makes me a little nauseous too.

His smile faded. I don’t want to have that effect.

Shrugging, she started to get up. He didn’t want their conversation to end. Can you do me a favor? she asked. He looked up at her. Don’t talk to me unless I talk to you.

Why?

"Because I want to be in control for a while. If I decide I need to hear your voice, I will. If I decide I want a conversation, I want it on my terms. I want to decide what happens. I want to watch you walk on eggshells for a while."

He only heard three words. For a while? She nodded. And then what?

"And then I might remember there was once a Ryan who didn’t break my heart and ruin my soul. That there was a Ryan who had a heart and soul of his own. The edges of her lips turned up slightly as she stepped away. Maybe you’ll remember me too."

He watched her drift across the lobby, back to Trevor, her hand taking his as she reached him. Seeing her touch him that way made him hurt, made him angry, but he clung to her words and the double meaning he read in them.

Sadie led Trevor to the elevator, and as they waited, she looked back at him, holding his stare. It felt like she was telling him something, imploring that double meaning he planned to hold onto.

And then she flipped him off as she got onto the elevator.

Ryan didn’t move from the sofa in the hotel lobby for several minutes, oblivious to the people milling around. He’d see her again that evening at the party they were attending. They’d ride in the same limo, sit at the same table. Feelings and words burned his brain, so he returned to his room where he pulled out one of his many spiral notebooks and his guitar. He translated his feelings into lyrics and chords.

His eyes red and swollen from tears he hadn’t meant to shed, he realized he had lost complete track of time and would be late getting over to Eric’s house.

image-placeholder

Trevor Dixon watched as Eric and Rainie came out of the high-rise condo building first, followed by Ryan’s date, London. He recognized her as one of Rainie’s stripper friends from the club Eric had met her in. She looked young and unsure of herself as she trailed behind the others. Ryan followed about twenty feet behind.

He turned to Sadie; her eyes followed Ryan as he made his way to the limo. There was nothing he could read in her blank expression.

Sadie had been distant since arriving in Los Angeles the day before. Trevor knew it was this impending event that had closed her off. When she got off the plane, he’d expected a grand reunion, but all he’d gotten was a simple, Hey.

Eric made introductions, but Sadie’s eyes were settled on Ryan. The tension inside the limo was heavy. Trevor let out a puff of air and her eyes fell to her hands.

What’s with the sunglasses? Jenny asked Ryan.

I wanted to stand out. His throat sounded scratchy, and he cleared it.

Corey scoffed. He doesn’t want it to be obvious he’s staring.

Ryan grimaced. Staring at what? The devil in the red dress?

The only one wearing red was Sadie. Her mouth opened, but she didn’t say anything.

Jenny chuckled. We all know who the devil is. And he’s wearing sunglasses, not a red dress.

Trevor smiled. He loved Jenny’s quick wit.

Ryan lowered his sunglasses, revealing swollen, bloodshot eyes. Here you go, Jennifer. Are you happy?

Her smirk didn’t fade. I am. I’ve been waiting years to find out if the devil had a heart.

Ryan looked toward Sadie and Trevor, and Trevor saw something he’d never seen from Ryan before. Uncertainty. His eyes radiated the years of regret he must be feeling. Trevor leaned close to Sadie, whispered in her ear, his eyes never leaving Ryan’s face. You ok?

She nodded as Ryan raised his sunglasses but didn’t look away from him. Trevor would give anything to get inside her head and make her realize she was his whole world, and that Ryan was nothing but a piece of shit.

I really like your dress, London said.

Sadie smiled at her, finally peeling her eyes away from Ryan. Thank you.

Jenny, Rainie started, I hear you’re due about the same time as me. In September?

Jenny nodded. Yeah, what’s your due date? Mine is the seventh.

The ninth. Rainie giggled. Wouldn’t that be crazy if we both had them on the same day.

I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Ryan said. Is the fact that you married Eric after, like, two damn months. And the fact that you, Jenny, think you know Corey well enough to marry him.

Jenny wasn’t deterred. No, what’s really crazy is that you haven’t realized what a pathetic waste of life you are and killed yourself yet.

Whoa, Jen, Corey said. Chill.

Jenny rolled her eyes. Fuck that. I don’t have to listen to his bullshit any more than Sadie does.

Ryan chuckled. Why’d you get so defensive, Jen? Afraid I’m right?

Ryan, that’s enough, Trevor said. Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you have to make everyone else miserable too.

Ryan lowered his sunglasses and leveled his gaze on Trevor. And why, exactly, Trevor, am I so miserable?

I already told you, Jenny said. It’s because you’re a pathetic waste of life.

You were miserable long before now, Ryan. Sadie spoke the words softly. It has nothing to do with us breaking up or me being with Trevor. You’ve been like this for years.

Trevor squeezed Sadie’s hand as Ryan slid the sunglasses back over his eyes. No one spoke again, but Sadie’s eyes spoke volumes in how she never looked away from Ryan. It wasn’t going to be easy or happen quickly, but she would heal from what he did to her, and Trevor vowed to stand beside her for as long as it took.

When they arrived at the party, Trevor was surprised to see the commotion outside. People were everywhere with cameras. Eric must’ve seen the stricken looks on the faces around him. Don’t worry about it, he said. Follow my lead and get inside. When we get inside, smile. Smile a lot.

I didn’t know it was gonna be like this. Sadie’s eyes were wide.

Eric led the way when they exited the limo. It was the first time Trevor had been recognized as being a part of Mile 258. He smiled, and Sadie smiled beside him. When someone asked her what she was wearing, she giggled and said, A red dress. Even Trevor knew they wanted to know who the dress designer was.

Sadie glowed on the red carpet. Her dress was strapless and fitted on her upper body and around her beautiful rear end, then flared out in ruffles of red, reaching to the ground, following behind her just a bit. Her golden curls shone around her shoulders, framing her radiant face with lips the same shade of red as her dress. Her smile hid so much in those moments the cameras flashed in her direction. It all seemed so natural for her. Like this was where she belonged, here on the red carpet in Los Angeles with Trevor.

When they were past the reporters, she leaned into him. So much for staying sober. Their eyes met. I need a drink.

on a sunday

You’ve had enough, Sadie, Jenny said in her ear. I know you don’t want to throw it all away over one rough day.

Sadie Montgomery pulled away from her friend. I’m not throwing anything away. I’m enjoying myself.

Jenny sighed. Whatever.

Sadie sipped on the glass of wine in her hand, Jenny’s hot breath still in her ear. Honestly, she’d lost count of how many glasses she’d had. Why did they only fill the glasses halfway? What she honestly needed was something harder than wine, but the buzz she had made everything easier. Easier to deal with Ryan’s red, puffy eyes watching her. Easier to smile at Trevor in front of Ryan. Easier to breathe.

Easier to live.

Fuck being sober. This was so much better.

She excused herself to the bathroom, giving Trevor a little kiss on the cheek before she left, watching Ryan watch her. When she came out of the bathroom, Ryan leaned against the wall across from the bathroom with his hands in his pockets. She froze; her heart leapt into her throat as her high heels sunk into the carpet. The long hall suddenly seemed confining. She was trapped.

Hey, he said.

She didn’t like his casual tone, like they were friends who’d run into each other at the supermarket. I asked you to leave me alone. Her voice was small; she hoped he wouldn’t pick up on her trepidation, but that was inevitable.

The haughty look on his face told her he wasn’t going to just walk away. Looks like you’re having fun.

I am. She willed her feet to move, but instead her lips did. I didn’t mean to make you cry.

Who’s crying?

She shrugged. Told you my sobriety wouldn’t last.

Who cares?

I thought you did. They stood silently staring at each other for a long moment, the clamor of the party in the distance. Something about him would always stop her in her tracks. That tux looks good on you, she said to break the painful silence.

He straightened his posture as he chuckled, running a finger along the chair rail on the champaign colored walls. Funny you should say that.

She cocked her head. Why?

Because I don’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful than you do right now. Red is definitely your color.

She looked down at her dress, appreciating the compliment, glad he thought she looked good, but hating it at the same time. Jenny picked it.

Jenny has good taste. Their eyes met. In dresses. Definitely not in men. He cleared his throat. I assume she doesn’t know about you and Corey last fall.

Her feet found what they needed to move forward as she squinted her eyes in faked confusion, uneasiness inching into the edges of her brain. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

He gripped her left wrist, the one with the nerve damage. The wrist he used to twist and bend, making her unable to use her hand for days. I don’t care about that, Sadie. It’s just something I’ll keep in the back of my mind.

Let go. She heard the panic in her voice; surely, he heard it too.

I’m trying. He dropped her wrist, his eyes locked with hers. But it’s hard to move on so easily. Not that you would know, because here comes Mr. Chivalrous now.

Sadie, Trevor called from down the hall.

She turned from Ryan and walked toward Trevor, putting a smile on her face. Apparently, I’m ruining his night. She laced her fingers with Trevor’s when she reached him.

Trevor chuckled, throwing a glance over his shoulder at Ryan. How about a dance?

After another drink.

How many have you had?

She shot him a look he didn’t see. Don’t start, she thought. Don’t be like him. Does it matter?

He didn’t answer, but she knew he was disappointed. Seemed she was good at disappointing people. When they were back in the ballroom, surrounded by so many gorgeous and perfect people she would never compare to, Sadie grabbed another glass of wine and led Trevor back to the table.

Instead of sitting down, she leaned in next to Corey, on the side away from Jenny, who was engrossed in conversation with Rainie and London anyway. Ryan’s threatening to tell Jenny.

Sadie knew well every emotion Corey’s eyes could show. When he looked at her, she saw anger with a mix of trepidation. Yeah, I caught that earlier.

No, just now in the hallway.

And you getting drunk helps that how?

She shrugged. Corey was the last person she owed an explanation to. Not sure. But at least when the ashes fall, I’ll look good! She spun in a circle and flashed a smile. Trevor’s hand slipped around her waist.

Corey stood. I think we need to speak with Ryan.

Trevor looked across the room to Ryan standing beside Eric talking to another guy, frowning. About what?

Chilling the fuck out.

Sadie giggled.

How is this funny? Trevor asked.

How is it not? You guys’ dreams are coming true, and you can’t stop fighting long enough to embrace it. Go ahead, blame it all on the devil in the red dress. I know it’s my fault, but I never asked for any of this.

I can’t talk to him, Trevor said.

You’re right, Sadie, Corey said, ignoring Trevor. The devil in the red dress. He looked at Trevor. You sure that’s what you want?

What?

The devil in the red dress?

Sadie?

Corey shook his head. You may be all on board for letting her ruin your life, but I’m not. He walked off in the direction of Ryan and Eric.

Trevor faced Sadie. She slid both arms around his waist. You don’t think I’m the devil, do you?

He smiled, planted a kiss on her lips. Not at all. You’re my angel.

She wanted to laugh, but he seemed to honestly believe the words he said. Trevor could be so good for her if she let him. But right now, in this Los Angeles ballroom, surrounded by celebrities, feeling buzzed for the first time in months, she was fine with being the devil in the red dress. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to love Trevor, and on some level, she supposed she did love him. He was too good for her. And she’d never been good enough for him and never would be.

He followed her to the dance floor, where they slow-danced to an 80’s love ballad. She pressed her face against his chest, absorbing his warmth and his fresh, clean scent, searching for contentment; the entire time feeling eyes on her, watching her. Looking up at Trevor, she asked, He’s watching us, isn’t he? His green eyes were soft when he nodded. What if I decide to drink again tomorrow?

He searched her eyes. The slightest bit of stubble showing on his usually clean-shaven face. You can decide that tomorrow.

What would you do?

What could I do?

What if I go back to how I was before?

He pulled her close. She feared his answer, or lack of an answer. It wasn’t that she wanted to hurt him, but it was inevitable. He loved her so much, and had for so long, yet she didn’t think she had any love to give in return.

I don’t suppose it would change anything, he whispered. I loved you then, I love you now, and I’m certain I will love you always.

Pulling away, she found his damp eyes and uncertain. That sounds like a song.

He smiled. Maybe it is.

***

John Muszynski hadn’t expected the phone call, but when it came, he wasn’t surprised at all. He didn’t usually get work related phone calls on Sunday. It was the one thing his wife had asked of him when they were together. He’d tried his hardest to respect that, but sometimes things happened. Now that he was single, it really didn’t matter.

John, my man, Steve Scott greeted him over the phone just after nine in the morning. Steve was a top executive at Vine Records, the label that signed Mile 258. How’s your morning?

Pretty peaceful, John replied. He’d been sitting on his back deck with a cup of coffee until the phone rang. His two-bedroom townhouse was in a quiet residential Los Angeles neighborhood. The sun was warm on his face, the air still cool. To what do I owe this Sunday morning call?

Steve chuckled. Mile 258 made an appearance last night.

John cringed. The guys hadn’t been getting along too well lately. Ryan was dead set against his ex-girlfriend attending the Valentine’s Day event with Trevor but swore he wouldn’t make a scene. Yeah, they did.

They did, they did. Steve cleared his throat and John drew in his breath. Who was the girl with Trevor Dixon?

John drew his brows together. Had Sadie made a scene? Um, his girlfriend. Sadie Montgomery.

I thought so. She’s the one who sang on their debut, right?

Yeah, that’s her.

We’ll sign her.

What?

Put her in the band and we’ll extend their contract.

Put Sadie in the band? His tone was flat.

Yes. The girl has the looks, and she can obviously sing. I can’t believe you haven’t thought of this yourself.

Now John chuckled.