Pieces: The Fragile Line Series, #4

By Sarah Dawson Powell

Pieces

The Fragile Line Series~ Book Four

 

The pieces of Sadie's life are falling from her heart like rain, and she doesn't even care. Having lost so much in such a short period of time, she wonders if she'll ever feel whole again. When her childhood friend strips her of one of the biggest pieces of identity, she turns to someone who seems to have her best interests at heart for solace, just to find herself in the midst of a new disaster.

 

Jenny is torn between promises she made to someone she barely remembers and everything she feels for someone she's not sure she wants to live without. Unsure which piece of her heart to pick up and which to leave lying on the ground, Jenny tries to keep her life moving forward, but depression threatens to suck her in time and again. She reaches out to Sadie for advice, but it takes more than that for Jenny to realize what she really wants.

 

Content warning: drug/alcohol abuse, domestic violence, suicidal ideation/attempt, sexual assault, swearing

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sarah Dawson Powell
• Release date: Jan 1, 2024
• ISBN: 9798223839446

Book preview

For everyone who has ever struggled to find their way and

agonized over choices that can't be undone.

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Content warning: substance abuse, domestic violence, suicidal ideation/attempt, sexual assault, swearing, mentions of pregnancy/abortion/miscarriage.

Copyright © 2016 by Sarah Dawson Powell

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permission requests, contact [e-mail].

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

2nd edition 2023

Contents

1.go fish

2.have her pretty little baby

3.she was your second choice

4.black eyes, blue tears

5.poop on his head

6.until it all changed

7.i know you’ll catch me

8.keeps getting smaller

9.i would never leave you

10.with all due respect

11.strawberry

12.two holes in each package

13.this was how you showed love

14.what you’ve been looking for all along

15.i can try, can’t i?

16.time to start building the boat

17.burning my electric bill

18.because you feel like you owe them

19.i can’t believe it’s like this

20.he’d find a place for her

21.make a deal with the devil

22.too casually

23.crying on his pillow

24.invisible strings

25.you’re killing me

26.you promised me

27.i don’t know what to do

28.the people we used to be

Author's Note

Playlist

About the Author

go fish

Sadie Montgomery rested her head on her boyfriend Ryan’s chest, listening for his heartbeat. Sometimes she wasn’t sure he had a heart, so it was reassuring to hear it. He played absently with her blonde curls. She lived for these moments. When he was silent, his hands soft, love seeming to be an emotion he knew and felt.

She’d forgotten what a normal relationship looked like- not that she ever had one- until her friends Corey and Jenny got serious. He always smiled at Jen, said sweet things, held her hand, offered to do things for her. Sadie wondered why that couldn’t be her. Not that she wanted to be with Corey, she just wanted Ryan to treat her that way.

Baby, have you talked to your lawyer lately? Ryan asked.

Not since Wednesday. Sadie was suing her old employer for sexual harassment after being fired. She claimed her boss said she could keep her job after failing a drug test in exchange for sex.

What was the offer again?

One-twenty-five. He thinks I should hold out for at least two.

He sighed. We need money now though.

She sat up, narrowed her eyes. If it were up to me, I’d hold out for ownership of this county. And since I’ll never have any dignity or self-respect, I think I’ll wait until the money makes me think I can buy self-worth.

His expression softened. I didn’t mean anything. Chill out.

She stood, picked up her near-empty drink. "What you meant was you can’t take care of me, and you need my money to do what you should be able to do on your own." She went to the kitchen, seething, so sick of his inability to take care of her. Especially after all she had done for him.

After filling half her glass with vodka and topping it off with Sprite, she returned to the living room. Dropping to the couch, she took a long drink. Before she got comfortable, he pulled her long blonde hair, jerking her head back. She cried out from the pain.

Watch your mouth. He let go of her, pushed her to the other side of the couch. I’m as sick of being here as you are. They’d been staying at Trevor and Corey’s apartment for weeks now, ever since their furnace went out.

She scoffed, pulled her body into the fetal position. Do something about it then.

He glared at her, and then turned his focus back to the TV. She waited a few minutes before grabbing her drink. She sipped until the glass was nearly empty. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. Warmth grew throughout her body. She drank at a steady pace all day and only sucked down her drinks quickly when she wanted to escape. When she crossed from her constant buzz to actually being drunk, Ryan didn’t seem as mean, her life didn’t seem as hopeless, and Aaron didn’t seem as dead.

When she opened her eyes, Ryan stared at her. She stared back, finishing her drink. I don’t understand why I love you so much, he said.

She rolled her eyes. Because you’ve known me so long you feel obligated to. He told her that once. They had known each other their whole lives, their parents being friends, attending the same school and church.

He chuckled. No, what I said was I’ve known you so long it would be impossible not to love you.

Same thing.

It’s not, but whatever.

Their eyes held and gone was the moment when he pulled her hair. So why do you love me so much? ‘Cause it seems like you hate me.

His mouth formed a straight line. Did you seriously just say that?

She smiled sweetly but said nothing.

He moved on top of her, her empty glass falling to the floor, holding her down. His huge hands pinned her arms above her head.

She kicked him. Stop!

He brought one of his hands to her throat. Look, I know you wanna die. You want me to kill you, and that’s why you keep picking fights with me. It’s not gonna work. I’m not gonna rot in jail for your stupid ass. So, if you want to keep pissing me off, then you’re gonna deal with my anger, no matter how I dish it out.

She was unfazed, partly because she was suddenly drunk, partly because nothing he did scared her. So, what’re you gonna do?

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Jenny Boston stared at the little gold ring of hearts in her jewelry box and wondered how to word an email ending her relationship with Alex Starr. He couldn’t have really thought she would wait two years, could he?

She tried to remember what had made her love him, but she could barely recall the sound of his voice. His face she remembered, thanks to photographs. His blond hair, blue eyes, tanned skin. She couldn’t remember how his eyes looked when he said he loved her. The feeling of his lips on hers was gone. The scent of his skin, gone.

All of it had been replaced by new memories. Fresh ones every bit as deep as the ones Alex had given her.

She pulled the ring out of her jewelry box and returned it to her left ring finger, remembering how it signified a love that would never end. But like a fire without a flame, time had turned her love for Alex to embers that might never be relit.

At the sound of the apartment door opening, Jenny took off the ring and dropped it back into the jewelry box. She went into the living room to see her mom taking off her coat, dropping her purse to the couch.

At twenty-four years old, Jenny lived with her mom again.

Hi, Mom.

Well, hello stranger. To what do I owe this pleasure?

Jenny smiled, amused. She spent nearly every moment she wasn’t at work with Corey. Most nights she slept in his bed, enveloped in his arms. Sadie and Ryan are staying at Corey’s, and I can’t handle it anymore. She paused. So, he’s coming over here. I’m making spaghetti.

Her mom nodded. Ah. I see. She hung her coat, turned back to Jenny. Are you upset Ryan didn’t leave Sadie for you?

Jenny laughed. Not even close. Her mom eyed her cautiously, maybe wanting more explanation. Their furnace is broken, so they’ve been staying over there until they get it fixed. There’s nothing between me and Ryan, and Sadie and I are friends.

Never thought I’d hear you say that. Her mom went to the fridge and grabbed a can of soda. So, I’m finally gonna meet this Corey guy?

Jenny glanced at the clock. Yeah, he’ll be here soon. She turned on the pot of water to start boiling the pasta. The sauce had been simmering for half an hour, the salad tossed, garlic bread ready for the oven. But I haven’t told him about Angel. She caught her mom’s eye. And I don’t need a lecture. When the time is right, I will.

She’s your daughter. You shouldn’t be ashamed.

I’m not. She stared at the pot of water as her mom went into the living room.

While she waited for the water to boil, she went back to her bedroom and gathered up the photos decorating her room and placed them on her closet shelf. The last thing she needed were the faces of Alex and Angelica staring back at her, reminding her of all her secrets and lies.

She felt like she was betraying her daughter, like she was ashamed. At this point, after more than a year of being around Corey, not to mention having known Sadie and Ryan for ten years, how could she tell them she had a daughter living in Springfield she couldn’t take care of?

A knock on the door prompted Jenny to close her closet and move into the living room where her mom opened the door. There stood Corey, still in his work clothes, a duffle bag over his shoulder, looking as beautiful as a late summer sunset. In his hands was a small bouquet of carnations.

You must be Corey. I’m Tammy, Jenny’s mom said.

He held out his hand. Nice to meet you, Tammy. He offered the flowers. These are for you.

Thank you. Tammy smiled as she moved from the doorway, flowers in hand, to let him inside. Jenny, get a vase. She followed Jenny into the kitchen, leaving Corey in the living room. "He’s friends with Ryan?"

Only by obligation. They play in that band together. She poured the pasta into the boiling water; put the garlic bread in the oven.

It was one of the few Friday nights Corey’s band, Mile 258, didn’t have a show. After dinner, when Tammy inquired a million things of Corey, he and Jenny disappeared to her bedroom. They changed from their work clothes into shorts and t-shirts.

What’s everyone else doing tonight? Jenny asked.

Don’t know. Don’t care. He pulled a bottle of Malibu rum from his bag. Got cups?

She giggled, went to the kitchen, grabbed a deck of cards from the junk drawer, and two small juice glasses. Go fish? she asked when she returned.

Same rules?

Sure.

The rules were if you had to go fish you also had to take a shot of liquor.

They sat on her bedroom floor near the foot of her bed. A bedside lamp illuminated the room. A few go fishes into the game, Jenny felt heat in her cheeks from the alcohol. She got up and pushed the play on her CD player while Corey got his third go fish. Shania Twain filled the air.

Seriously? Country? I thought you were a rock ‘n roll girl.

She laughed. There are lots of things you don’t know. His expression hardened. Besides, Shania is a crossover artist, don’t you think?

Yeah, to pop. Another genre that sucks. He looked at his cards. You have a five?

She had a five but wanted him to feel a buzz like hers. Go fish.

He narrowed his eyes, but took a card from the pile, then drank the shot.

Do you have a five?

He looked at his deck of cards for a moment, before realizing what had happened. Hey, that’s cheating! He tossed the card at her.

How about a king?

Without even looking at his cards he said, Go fish. He poured more than a shot into her glass. Drink up.

She did.

The game continued this way for a while-- both of them lying about their cards, forcing the other to drink.

Let’s up the ante, he said. Let’s do a truth or dare when you get a go fish, along with the shot.

She considered this in her intoxicated mind. A dare she could manage, a truth, not so much. Ok, fine.

And of course, when she asked for a jack on her turn, he poured her a shot. Truth or dare?

Dare.

He handed her the glass of rum. I dare you to take off your shirt.

Seriously? When did this become strip poker?

He chuckled. You want truth?

Without contemplating, she said, Sure.

He licked his lips, waited for Jenny to drink her shot. Have you broken up with Alex yet?

Their eyes met. It had been three weeks since she took off Alex’s ring; two weeks since she and Corey had crossed the fragile line out of friendship and into something more. But, no, Jenny hadn’t technically broken up with Alex.

She heaved a sigh and pulled her t-shirt over her head.

Jenny…

Don’t.

He looked at his cards, the pain written on his face. It’s your turn.

Do you have a…kiss?

Go fish.

I don’t know what to say. I mean, how am I supposed to break up with someone in an email? She picked up her t-shirt and put it back on.

Dear Alex, I’ve met someone else, and he lives here, not in Pakistan. Sorry about your luck. Sincerely, Jenny.

She stifled a laugh. It’s Tajikistan. And it’s not that easy. We made promises to each other.

After a moment, he asked, Do you have a jack?

Absentmindedly, she tossed him the jack. Cheater.

That’s what Alex will be calling you if you don’t break up with him.

You’re an ass.

He smiled. Like you didn’t know.

Do you have an ace?

He tossed her the card. Are you mad?

If I wasn’t drunk, I might be.

You’re drunk?

Just a little.

He leaned toward her. "Truth or dare?’

I didn’t have a go fish!

You’re not drunk! He looked at his cards. Do you have a ten?

Go fish! She poured rum into his glass. Truth or dare?

Truth.

She realized there was only one thing she wanted to know. Did you sleep with Sadie?

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Corey stared at Jenny, astonished. He’d never expected that question. It was the uncharted territory they didn’t explore. But if he changed his mind and chose a dare, it was as good as admitting it. And since he wanted an answer to his own similar question, he had no choice but to answer.

Except he couldn’t. He knew Jenny felt inferior to Sadie, even though he didn’t understand why. Dare.

She offered no dare. Though he admitted nothing, she had the truth.

Love is bullshit, she announced. Fine. You want dare? I dare you to tell me the truth. I want to know what happened between you and Sadie.

He didn’t answer. She didn’t really want to know.

Have you ever been in love?

Just once. With you, he thought.

I’ve been in love a few times, or at least thought I was, and it’s all been bullshit. Never lasts. Nothing does.

Do you still love Alex?

She sneered. I barely remember him. Did you love Sadie?

His eyes went wide. No.

She studied him for a moment. Just tell me. Please. She poured rum into her glass.

If you tell me about Ryan.

She poured rum into his glass. Drink up.

He waited several moments, pulling courage and the right words from somewhere within him. Why do want to know?

Why do you want to know about Ryan?

He drew in a deep breath and took a drink. Yeah, I’ve slept with her.

She jumped up. I knew it! Her eyes bore into him. So now you know. Yeah, I slept with Ryan. She sat back down, leaned against her bed. When? When did you do it?

Surprisingly, he was unfazed by her admission. On our lunch hour.

On your lunch hour?

Yeah.

Just once?

No. It went on for a while.

Her face was stricken. Wow. Why?

He shrugged, took another drink. She wanted to. I ended it months ago. The day she broke her leg.

Her eyes widened. Ryan did tell the truth. Well, about that part at least.

When did you and Ryan?

She sipped her rum. You gotta hear the whole story. Start to finish.

He nodded, curious to know how someone like her could have been with someone like Ryan.

Right after high school, at a party, he acted like he liked me. I was stupid and believed him, and we did it in his best friend Tyler’s truck. She sighed, moved next to him. He took her hand. He was leaving for the Marines, right? And said he’d call me when he came home. Well, he didn’t. Instead, he showed up at Tyler’s house with Sadie. She looked into his eyes. This was after Tyler chose Sadie over me. And after Sadie caught me and Tyler together. She paused, closed her eyes. So it hurt. A lot. And I was pregnant.

Corey felt a jolt run through him.

It hurt that he didn’t call me, but even more that he was with Sadie.

Ryan got you pregnant?

She nodded, still not looking up at him.

Does he know?

Yeah, he knows, but Sadie doesn’t. Only a few people do.

Corey felt like a canyon had opened between them. Never in a million years had he thought this was the story between her and Ryan. What happened?

She took a deep breath, snuggled next to him. He wrapped his arm around her. I had an abortion. He kissed the top of her head, willing his heart to soften. He was mad about it, but every time he came home, he wanted to see me. He told me how horrible Tyler was, and he was right, but I didn’t ever feel anything for him. After a while, he started seeing Sadie. I think he did it to hurt me. When I ran into them last year, he made some comment about being in too deep and not knowing how to get out.

She sighed. I still hated her for the whole mess with Tyler, and Ryan kept calling and I felt bad for him. He told me Sadie was sick, and, I mean, I know she is, but it’s no excuse. She looked at him. I only did it because I wanted to get back at them.

Corey felt the canyon close.

She shook her head and looked away. After he pushed her down the stairs that day, he came here. He wanted to move in. Their eyes met again. And then you came to my work and told me all that stuff.

He brushed his hand along her cheek, like he could wipe away her pain. You didn’t know.

But I did. All the signs that he hit her were there, but I ignored them.

It’s ok. He kissed her forehead.

Remember when I went over there to get that phone number? He didn’t realize I already figured everything out. He thought I was there to see him, tried to make moves on me. She laughed. I spit in his face.

He smiled, let out a low chuckle. That’s awesome.

I thought so too. She looked at him. He lowered his face, locked his lips with hers. You’re on the pill or something now, right?

She giggled, maneuvered herself on top of him. Yes, I am. But shouldn’t you have asked that a few weeks ago?

It was actually the first time he’d thought of it. Did you know Sadie had a miscarriage when she fell?

Yeah, she told me. He didn’t need to say any more; she understood now the baby could have been his. All this is sort of ironic, isn’t it?

No. It’s fate. He started undressing her, kissing every inch of her he could. And while he made love to her atop the forgotten deck of cards, he was sure there was nothing she could say that would make him think he could live without her. The fact she wasn’t an open book, secrets kept deep within her, drew him to her like bees to honey.

have her pretty little baby

Saturday morning, when Jenny remembered the night before, she felt sick. Over breakfast at Denny’s, she decided to breach the subject, realizing sober it wasn’t as easy to talk about.

She looked at Corey as he shoved eggs and toast into his mouth. So, I had fun playing go-fish-truth-or-dare last night, but now I have questions.

He stopped chewing, locked his eyes on her. About what?

Sadie. You didn’t give me much detail.

What do you wanna know?

She frowned, looked at her plate. You said you guys would get together on your lunch break. Where?

Why does it matter?

Well, I’m thinking you only had an hour. I’m just trying to figure out where you guys went. You couldn’t have gotten to your apartment and back and still had time to do whatever. And her house is even farther.

Why do you want to know this? I didn’t ask you where you and Ryan did it.

She let out a short chuckle. Usually at my house.

He didn’t seem to care. The first time was in their bed. Ryan had passed out on the couch. He even caught me in bed. The rest of the time was in my truck.

She raised an eyebrow, took a sip of orange juice. He caught you?

Yeah. He didn’t say anything at first, and by the time he realized what might have happened…. He shrugged. I don’t know. He bought it.

As they left the restaurant, Jenny still felt uneasy by the whole thing. She took her seat on the passenger side of Corey’s SUV, shut the door, and then opened it immediately, jumping out. Give me your coat.

For what?

Just gimme your coat.

He took off his coat and handed it to her. You do know it’s January.

She snatched the coat and spread it across the passenger seat before she climbed back in, sitting atop his coat.

He turned over the engine. Seriously? You’re gonna sit on my coat while I freeze?

She ignored him.

Usually we were in this seat.

She glared at him.

I didn’t say anything while I slept in your bed, where you and Ryan did it.

I’ve changed my sheets a few times since then. You can’t change your seats.

Wow.

They had been at her apartment for two hours and hadn’t spoken. She hated that this bothered her so much. Things between them were fine until they played that stupid game.

Any other girl, she wouldn’t have cared. The fact it was Sadie made her sick to her stomach.

So you’re not talking to me?

She looked at him, studied the pale eyes she loved. This hurt him as much as it hurt her. She looked away when he continued speaking.

You know, I should be pissed too. Aside from knowing you were crazy enough to sleep with Ryan, not just once, but several times, you still haven’t broken up with Alex. She faced him. And I didn’t even ask for something to sit on before I sat here.

She glared at him. Did you just call me crazy?

No, I said you were crazy enough to sleep with Ryan.

Well, you’re stupid enough to sleep with Sadie.

So?

And you were stupid enough to get caught. And cause her to have a miscarriage and break her leg! What did you think was gonna happen when she had the baby?

Nobody even knew she was pregnant! Not even her!

Jenny got off the bed, leaned against her dresser. How do I know that? Maybe you did know. Maybe you guys had some plan worked out to be together.

He laughed. Are you kidding me? Even if we did, it would be the best thing for her!

She didn’t try to hide her shock. Her jaw fell, her eyes went wide. So if you go home right now and she says she’s done with Ryan, you’d do what? Take her somewhere? Make her all better? Knock her up again so you could have her pretty little baby?

He got off the bed, moved across the room to her and took her hands in his. You’re making this into something it’s not. I wanna be with you, Jen. Just you.

She pulled away from him, feeling lightheaded. She sat on the edge of the bed and lowered her head. He was instantly beside her, rubbing her back. Everything was going all wrong. She never should have let herself be so vulnerable.

I swear to you, what me and Sadie did was nothing. It meant nothing to either of us. Once she told me she pretended I was someone else, and I told her I did the same. I wished she were you.

That’s sick, Corey! Why would you tell me that?

Because I want you to know how much you mean to me.

I think you should go. I need some time.

Jenny….

She turned away, the sting of tears burning her eyes. She walked back to her dresser and opened her jewelry box and pulled out Alex’s ring, placing it on her finger. Corey’s arms came around her waist and she held her left hand out, wiggled her fingers.

No, Jen, don’t. He tugged at her hand.

She