The Long Awaited Lord (The Valiant Love Regency Romance #15) (A Historical Romance Book): Valiant Love, #15

By Deborah Wilson

Lady Madison Blake made a more than a few mistakes.

She's unwed and pregnant.

The father of her child is dead.

The man she thought a hero has turned out to be her worst nightmare.

She's in desperate need of help, but by the time the next hero comes along, Madison is low on trust.

It doesn't help that the new hero seems to be just as villainous as the last.

Even worse is her growing attraction to this dark stranger.

Lord Leonard Childs didn't arrive in Oxford to save a damsel and her child, yet he's doing it.

But along with finding a murderer, he's also trying to find a safe place of his own and Madison's eyes seem to promise that.

One terrible decision after another brings these two together, but with secrets spilling as easily as blood, it's going to take trust to make it to the end.

Will Leo's secret destroy what he has with Madison?

Or will it be his own fears that finally do them in?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Deborah Wilson
• Release date: Feb 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393757511

Deborah Wilson

As a young girl, Deborah has been an avid fan of Regency authors such as Jane Austen. Deborah has always been in love with the Regency era. Despite the fact that this era is filled with great social, political, and economic upheavals and happenings, yet there is still plenty of room for episodes of romance happenings. In this era, love was pure. In this era, one can still find men and women who would have the courage to express their love while living amongst strict social customs for courtships. In such times, romantic gestures could be small yet they have a beautiful, meaningful impact. It is Deborah’s desire that through her writings, one will find the courage to love, to profess love and to pursue love. And the reason is simple. Everyone deserves to love and be loved. Pure and simple. Deborah is the author of ❦ VALIANT LOVE ❦ series. While the wealthy and titled men and women of the early nineteenth century were known for their extravagance in dress and decor and the rules that governed ‘polite society’, she wanted this series to focus on something different. Honor. What makes a man or woman honorable and where does love fit into all of this? “Let good be thy fortune and honor thy wealth.” Read and find out now for yourself Sign up now to Deborah’s VIP email list. Why? You will never miss a new release. You will be notified by Deborah personally as soon as her next book is out. →⟫⟫ http://eepurl.com/dHxqRD And please don’t forget to connect with Deborah on facebook. She loves hearing from her readers and sharing her thoughts and writing progress. →⟫⟫ https://www.facebook.com/deborahwilsonbooks

Book preview

0 1

ABOUT THE BOOK

The hunt for The Circle, a brotherhood known to exploit children, finally comes to an end with Leonard’s tale.

The verse that inspired this journey is the one below. Written as a plea to the judges of the courts at the time, this verse is still relevant today.

How long will ye judge unjustly and accept the persons of the wicked? Defend the poor and fatherless. Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked. Psalms 82: 2-4

Someone must stand up to the wicked and help good win the day, and that’s what Cassius Hayes, the Duke of Van Dero, is all about.

I hope you enjoy reading about the duke’s friends and how the men who walk the line finally turn their backs to the darkness and fall into infinite light.

There’s more to come, but for now, enjoy Leo’s tale of family, forgiveness, and the power of unbreakable love.

*   *   *

Miss Madison Blake stared into the window and knocked against the glass. She jumped at how loud the sound was, but then the house’s occupant looked in her direction and his eyes widened. It seemed she’d knocked loud enough.

She backed away from the windowsill and wrapped her coat around herself more firmly. The wind was chilling her to the bone. At first, she’d barely felt it, but with the walk taking over an hour, she could barely feel her toes.

Judd opened the window and tried to glare at her, but his mouth refused to obey, so he was smiling when he asked, What are you doing here? I told you in my note that I would see you upon my return.

Madison’s heart raced with a mixture of love and nervousness. Actually, it was more nervous than anything. I need to speak to you.

He placed his hands under her arms and pulled her up through the window with little effort. Then his warm hands were against her cold cheeks. Maddie, what were you thinking to come here in this weather? What were you thinking to come at all? You know it is not allowed. This is wrong.

I needed to see you.

He dragged her toward his fireplace and placed her on the end of the couch closest to the flames. She’d never been in Judd’s home before. She looked around and decided she liked his burgundy and green drawing room.

He knelt at her feet and took off her boots. He’d gathered hot coals from the fireplace and had already placed them into a pan while she’d been musing. He wrapped it in blankets and then placed her feet on top.

The heat seeped through her stockings, and she moaned in bliss.

He grinned. I suppose I don’t have to ask if that is better.

It’s wonderful. Thank you.

Tea?

Please, she said, even though she knew she couldn’t stay long. Her father sometimes came to her room in the middle of the night and kissed her head. He’d been doing it since before she could remember. Though she was eighteen, he still saw her as his little angel.

Her belly rolled as she thought of how wrong he was. How would he react to the news?

It only took Judd a moment to fetch her some tea.

With the warm cup in her hands, the coals under her feet, and Judd caressing her with his eyes, Madison was completely happy.

He stood over her with his hands on his hips. He was so young but after becoming the Viscount of Arland last year, he’d changed. He was no longer just a gentleman, but a lord. He’d become harder. His words were more direct.

Yet he never failed to tell her that she was his greatest weakness. He could barely put his foot down with her... which had gotten them into a great amount of trouble.

Missing me already? he teased.

Tears filled her eyes because she was. She saw him almost every day and on the days she didn’t see him, he wrote to her.

His message that morning had been strange. He’d said he was leaving. The journey was abrupt and unplanned.

It was late, yet the fact that the servants were up and he was dressed in travel clothes told her he was getting ready to go.

In the middle of the night?

Where are you going? I don’t understand why you’re leaving. Maybe he knew her secret and was running away from her. Maybe he didn’t love her anymore.

He lowered himself into the seat beside her. I know this trip was unplanned, but it’s necessary. I’m going to London.

Why?

To speak to Lord Van Dero.

Madison’s eyes widened. You’re going to see the duke? I didn’t know you knew him. It was Cassius Hayes’ first official Season as Duke of Van Dero, yet the man’s name had been flowing through ballrooms near and far for the past several months.

He was wealthy, said to be only a little less powerful than the Prince Regent.

Madison had never been to London, but the people of Oxford loved to gossip just as much as anyone else. With so many young men in the area for school, it was impossible to walk into a gathering and not hear whispers.

What are you going to speak to the duke about?

He cupped the back of her head. Madison, I don’t want you to worry.

But I am worried. I love you.

He smiled sadly. Painfully. I love you with all my heart. He lifted her hand and kissed it. Nothing matters more than you.

She believed him, but he’d been so different since his father’s death five months ago. They’d known each other for years, but Madison had not known Judd intimately until after his father’s death. They were in the same circle, but they’d never shared more than pleasantries until five months ago.

His anger and broodiness had called to her. She didn’t understand the pull, but she’d looked into his sad eyes and wanted nothing more than to make everything right for him.

She’d had her cook make him a pudding she’d noticed him take more than one serving of when they were at the same party. She’d learned his schedule from the books her father kept on his students and had taken the basket with the bowl of pudding to the school when she knew he’d be leaving her father’s lecture hall.

It was wrong to give men gifts, so she’d had to do it in secret. She’d met Judd at his carriage. He’d been surprised to see her.

Lady Madison? Are you here see your father?

No, I’ve come to see you.

Shocked, Judd quickly turned to keep his driver from seeing her, for servants were known to talk, and then moved closer and lowered his voice. Is this about your father?

She held out the basket. No. She couldn’t say more than that. He was so close that she noticed everything about his lively green eyes. She’d always known he was beautiful. He and his friends were the most handsome men she’d ever met, yet Judd stood out in his own way.

Perhaps it was because, before his father’s death, he’d always been without a care. And now, nothing made him smile.

She wanted him to smile. It’s a gift, she finally said.

He didn’t take the basket. Instead, he frowned. He glanced at the basket suspiciously and his eyes flickered back to her. What is it?

She turned up her lips and lowered her voice. You won’t know until you take it.

I can smell it. He held her eyes even after the basket was in his hand. How did you know? Did one of my mates tell you?

That you like pudding? Anyone who has watched you at a party knows you like pudding.

His expression shifted, even as their gazes remained tangled. You’ve been watching me, Lady Madison?

Her body’s response came out of nowhere. Heat blazed across Madison’s skin, scalding her and making her cheeks hot. No man had ever spoken in such a dark tone to her. It matched the worldly knowledge that rested in his eyes.

She said nothing. She could barely think. Her heart raced.

He smirked and then smiled. Thank you.

She twisted her lips and then said, Well, I hope it makes you feel better.

You have made me feel better. Then he lowered his mouth and whispered in her ear, I shall think of you with every bite.

The moment he pulled away, she turned and ran. His laugh trailed behind her.

His laugh. She’d not heard it in so long.

A few feet away, she turned back, because she had to witness it for herself. He was still smiling. Still watching her. And Madison knew her life was changed forever.

One minute, they’d just been acquaintances and in the next... so much more.

They’d fallen in love overnight and almost half a year later, nothing had changed. Yet recently, she could feel him slipping away. She didn’t understand it, especially with just how physical they’d become.

She thought his distance had to do with the fact that she didn’t want to hide their relationship anymore and hadn’t wanted to for months. But he was a student of her father’s and wanted to finish school before they moved forward.

I’ll not have them tarnish me or your father’s name by implying he gave me academic favors for your hand.

And she knew he was right. She trusted him. Oxford talked and the gossips said that he no longer went to the brothels. He no longer saw his friends as much either, but they didn’t know where Lord Arland was going.

He was coming to her. She’d given him her heart and body. And from that, they’d created life. That was why she here, to tell him everything before he left.

∫  ∫  ∫

0 2

*   *   *

I’m with child, Madison whispered. She held his eyes and watched his reaction.

Shock came first. Then he was out of his seat and his face shifted to complete happiness. He sat back down and cupped her face. Maddie, are you sure?

I’m sure. I’ve not bled since we met..

He wrinkled his nose at that.

She laughed. She always felt safe in telling him anything. Also, my breasts—

Are larger. I’ve noticed, he growled, staring down at her chest.

She blushed. I was going to say tender, but...

He bent his head and kissed her between his words. Maddie, this makes me so happy. I love you. I’m going to ask your father for your hand, and we’ll marry just as soon as I return.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and moved closer. Carrying the baby had also had other effects on her. She wanted him all the time and his only complaint about it had been that they were rarely in a place they could be alone.

They’d had sex at routs and the gatherings of their friends. They’d often slip away, one before the other, and meet in a bedchamber. She was starving for him now.

Madison crawled onto Judd’s lap, and he groaned before setting her back on the couch.

I can’t, he sighed. I have no time.

We can be quick. She was not above begging.

He groaned and kissed her right before he pulled away and smiled at her, a sweet expression on his face. I can’t wait to marry you. Then I can have you with me always and we never have to leave the house.

She curled her fingers into his hair. I want nothing more than that.

His grin was lusty. Our friends would despise us. Hivers already hates the way you take up all the time I used to give to him, even if he doesn’t know you’re the one who is getting it. Some guilt flashed in his gaze. He hadn’t told his dearest friend about her, and she’d kept the truth from her own friends as well.

She chuckled. The Earl of Hivers and everyone else will have to get used to missing your company because I plan to be a very greedy wife.

He captured her face in his hands and stared at her. She couldn’t read his expression completely. There was tenderness but also something else. Worry. I love you so much, but could you do me a favor, my love?

Anything.

Don’t tell anyone about the baby until I return.

She nodded. London was only a few days’ ride away. He’d be back before a fortnight.

He tightened his hold on the back of her head. The tenderness left his gaze. And if I don’t return, go to Van Dero immediately. Tell no one of the baby’s existence until you get to him.

The ugliest feeling of fear pricked its way over her skin. Why wouldn’t you return, Judd? What is going on?

I’m going to ask Van Dero for help, for protection, and then all will be well. Then he frowned. I’ll have to give him something in exchange. He glanced at the clock that sat on the mantle above the fireplace before turning back to her. But you’re more important than secrets from the past. You and our child are all that matter now.

Judd, I’m scared. What is going on? Why do you need protection?

He stood. Wait there. He moved to the other side of the room and opened a drawer in the writing desk. When he returned, he had two things in his hand. The first made her gasp.

He dropped before her and took her hand. I was planning to give this to you after I asked your father for your hand. Madison, you are the most compassionate, beautiful woman I’ve ever met. You came into my life and took it from mildly bearable to something I would fight tooth and nail for. You brought me happiness and worth.

She was weeping as he slipped the ring onto her finger. They were happy tears, but she was still scared.

I love you, he said again. Then he gave her the other thing. A key. He curled her fingers around it. If I don’t return, that key opens a drawer to an old writing desk in the cellar. He’d lowered his voice for this, as though fearing the servants would hear. Everything you need to take to Van Dero is there. If I’m not back in a fortnight, take it all and go to him. Swear to me you will do this.

I will.

He placed a hand on her stomach. Swear you’ll protect our child at all costs. Protect the future Viscount of Arland.

Come back to me and do it yourself, Judd Lewis, she whispered.

He smiled. Only you have called me Judd since my father’s death. Not even Hivers calls me that anymore. You see how lenient I am with you?

She smiled. It’s not lenience. It’s love.

He looked sad again. I wish my father could have met you. He’d said that before. Father would have loved you just as much as I do. He chuckled. He’d have thought you too good for us.

She laughed.

He kissed her. One last thing. He stood and walked away.

Madison kept her eyes on the flames that danced in the fireplace. She looked up at the clock. It was after midnight. Her father would have finished his reading by now and gone to bed. Had he stopped by her room?

Did it matter anymore?

Judd was leaving, and there was a chance she’d never see him again.

He stopped in front of her and handed her a note. She opened it.

It was a banknote for a great amount of money. Enough to keep her for years. It was likely most of his money.

Why are you giving me this? she asked.

You’ll need some money to get to London, he told her.

Not this much. And she wasn’t poor. Her family did very well. Her father only taught because he loved it.

He shrugged. Take it. Just in case. It will please me knowing that I’m taking care of you.

Though he hadn’t said it, Madison heard, ...to know I’m taking care of you even after I’m gone.

You’re taking my carriage home, he said.

She didn’t fight that. She didn’t want to walk in the cold.

He helped her to stand. His hands went to her stomach again and he closed his eyes. His mouth moved, and she wondered if he were praying. Then his eyes opened, and he smiled. Kiss me and go.

She did, making certain that kiss said everything she needed it to.

Just in case.

∫  ∫  ∫

0 3

*   *   *

A month passed and when Judd did not return, Madison believed the worst.

She’d tried to wait. After a fortnight passed, she’d assumed Van Dero had not been in London and Judd been forced to travel elsewhere to find him. But a month without word could only mean one thing.

Her parents were worried. Madison was crying all the time. She couldn’t wear black because she didn’t want her parents to think she was in mourning, but she was. Judd was gone and now her baby was all she had of him.

She had to tell her parents.

She took the ring she’d been carrying around in her pocket since he left and slipped it on her finger before she entered the drawing room. Her parents sat together. Lord and Lady Cumpterton looked equally nervous about whatever she was about to say. She’d caused them to worry. Sadly, she was about to make them worry more.

Her mother noticed the ring first, and her eyes widened. Who gave that to you?

Madison looked down at the large onyx stone surrounded by diamonds. She’d have preferred a simple gold band, but she’d understood Judd’s motives. He was making a statement with the jewel. He’d never intended to leave Madison, though it was exactly what he’d done.

She’d rehearsed her story over and over again, but when her father gave her a thunderous look, her mind went blank and she began to tremble.

Madison, he chided. Tell us what is going on?

I’m married, she lied. She’d thought it easier to simply state she was wed than reveal she was carrying the child of a man she would marry later.

What? Her mother stood. To whom?

Her father stepped forward. Madison, has someone taken advantage of you?

Madison smiled. Her father always thought the best of her. She’d been a good child. Her parents had always said as much. It wasn’t until recently that she’d become secretive. Falling for one of her father’s pupils had changed everything.

No one has taken advantage of me. I’m in love, Father. And I’m carrying his child. She moved quickly then, wanting to get everything out before her parents could ask her anything more. He’s given me this to hold onto until he returns. She placed a folded note in her father’s hands. There was another note upstairs. She’d taken Judd’s note to the bank and converted it into two separate notes yesterday and only when she’d known she’d had no other choice. There was a high chance that Judd wouldn’t come back.

It took great strength for her not to weep. Once he returns, he’ll tell you everything.

Her father held the note in his hands but kept his eyes on Madison. It was her mother who plucked it from his hands.

She gasped. Dear, look.

Lord Cumperton looked down. There was a flash of surprise in his eyes, but he still didn’t look pleased. A muscle jumped in his jaw. Then he lifted his gaze again.

She had her father’s eyes. A neutral blue. Her mother called it warm. The shade was darker than the sky. The hue more potent. So much so that Madison always grew nervous under his stare.

He could tell she was lying. She’d never been good at it. She’d never had a reason to learn how to perfect it before now. Her father, who taught philosophy and psychology, believed in openness. He never judged her for speaking her mind.

She knew his methods made her sort of an experiment. She supposed most parents weren't sure what they were doing. She had no idea how she’d raise the child growing inside of her. She prayed her parents were willing to help her and wouldn’t toss her out.

Or even worse, take her baby from her.

It was important that they believed her.

Her mother, who Madison had inherited her soft yet slender features from, moved closer and pressed her hand against Madison’s belly. How...? Tears filled her eyes.

Madison covered her mother’s hand and tried for a smile again.

Who is the father? Lord Cumperton asked, a menace in his gaze that she’d never seen before. Who is this man who has married my daughter without coming to me? Who still has not come and is leaving you to deliver this news to us alone? I want his name.

Madison swallowed. I cannot give it until he returns.

Why? her mother asked.

Her father turned and paced away.

Tears fell down Madison’s cheeks. I don’t know, but my husband has made this request of me. So, I shall keep it until he says otherwise. It was all she had.

Her father thundered back over to her. Tell me his name now, Madison.

Her voice shook. I can’t.

Why?

Because he ask—

I did not raise you to be so foolish!

She backed away. Her father had never shouted at her before. He’d never looked at her as he did now.

Her mother remained quiet, also stunned.

Is he married to someone else? he asked. Have you whored yourself to a man who belongs to someone else?

No! She covered her face that bloomed in heat. I would never—

You’re lying. You think I don’t know when you’re hiding something? This makes no sense. I want the coward’s name right now!

Father, please. I can’t.

He flung the note. It fluttered down to her feet, falling just like her hopes. Then leave. Go to him. If you can be so easily bought then you are not the daughter I raised.

No. Her mother grabbed her, clinging and weeping. Madison, just tell us his name. Please!

Madison began to shake. She’d been under great pressure for weeks. Fear and sadness had been warring for her attention since Judd left. Her head ached. Her heart ached. A sharp pain shot through her side, and she gasped before she fell to her knees.

Morgan, her mother cried, calling her husband. She never used his first name in front of anyone, but Madison had heard it whispered when they thought themselves alone.

Spots formed in Madison’s eyes and another pain shot through her. Sweat covered her. She felt hands grab her right before she fell into darkness.

She woke sometime later in her own bed. The pale pink-flowered wallpaper was a comfort. The sun had sunk with only a few rays left in the sky. Her clothes had been removed and she was in her night rail. In the blue shadows of the late evening, she made out someone sitting in the room.

The woman got up. Stay calm. You nearly lost the baby.

The baby.

She placed a hand on her stomach. Everything came back to her.

The stranger placed a hand on her shoulder. Don’t worry. You’re all right.

Who are you?

Mrs. Collie. I’m a midwife. The baby is still in there. Still kicking. She gave Madison a smile. It’s a boy. You can trust me when I say it. I’ve never been wrong.

Madison began to relax.

You’re not to wear your corsets anymore, the woman said. And clearly you’ve been terribly anxious. In a town like this with so many young and handsome men coming and going all the time, I’ve seen many a girl like you. You must stay calm, otherwise, the child won’t survive.

She had to stay calm. The baby was all that was left of Judd. She didn’t know how she’d go about having her baby declared his heir, but she’d have to find a way.

She was so nervous, but she tried to stop her racing mind. Where would she go? Where would she live? She didn’t know what she was doing. I can’t do this alone, she whispered. The panic began to grow again. She tried to fight it, but still, it rose. I can’t do this. Fresh tears burned her face. I can’t...

You won’t, a strong voice said from the door.

∫  ∫  ∫

0 4

*   *   *

Madison’s father stood at the door. He nodded at the nurse and Mrs. Collie left before he took her position at her side.

He looked angry, but his words were soft. You frightened me today. He took her hand. Never do that again. His lips twitched. The nurse said I had to keep you calm, otherwise I could not only lose my grandchild but my daughter as well.

Madison continued to weep and clung to her father. He smoothed back her hair and kissed her head. She closed her eyes as the familiar scent of peppermint filled her nose. She took a deep breath and felt her stomach relax. The tightness in her limbs loosened.

He pulled away, smiling. I understand why you kept it from me now. He shook his head and chuckled. One of my best students? I would have never guessed it. And a titled gentleman as well? Your mother couldn’t be more pleased.

Madison’s eyes widened. How did you...?

He’s here. He’s come for you.

Judd? He’d returned.

Shall I let him in? He looked her over and frowned. Clearly, the deed has already been done and he’s your husband. He’s anxious to see you. Her father left, and Madison broke into tears for a whole new reason.

Judd lived.

She heard footsteps coming down the hall and then the door opened again. Madison smiled. But then she frowned as the Earl of Hivers closed the door behind him. He tried for a smile as he crossed the room, taking the seat the nurse had previously occupied and moving it by her bed.

He sighed. I know I’m the last face you expected to see.

Lord Hivers? What was the earl doing here?

I believe you should start calling me Matthew now. The earl’s full name was Matthew Downs. Madison had seen it on her father’s roster when she’d been looking for Judd’s schedule to give him the basket months ago.

Hivers leaned his forearms on her bed, causing it to dip.

Madison’s eyes shot to his arms but then lifted to his eyes as he began to speak.

His tone was soft. I’ve been advised by everyone that I am to keep you calm. Otherwise, you could lose the baby.

Where’s Judd? Have you spoken to him?

Hivers kept his expression bland. His eyes were a dark blue, so dark that she was only noticing their shade now. She’d thought them brown. His hair was dark as well. Black.

He was handsome, as most of Judd’s friends were. They were the sort of young men who liked to flash their smiles at pretty young women at balls or even on the street.

Madison. They’d never spoken before. She wanted to tell him it was improper for him to address her so intimately, but she remained quiet as he continued, Judd is dead.

Her heart stopped.

He grabbed her arm. Stay calm. That baby is important. Think of the baby.

Madison shook her head. How do you know? Was he lying? Why would he lie? He was Judd’s best friend.

Madison—

Don’t call me that. She snatched her hand away and tried to sit up.

He tried to help, but she batted his hands away. Madison, you’re not being calm.

Judd. The tears started again. Judd!

He grabbed her chin and snatched her head around. Stop it. I’ll not let you kill my best friend’s son. Do you hear me? Pull yourself together right now. His life is more important than your pain.

She swallowed. Hivers was right. But the pain was so great.

You’re coming with me, he told her. I told your parents we were married and that I’d left the town for a few days but planned to be back before you told them.

What!

His eyes narrowed and she closed her mouth, remembering that she needed to stay relaxed.

I told them we were desperately in love and I never had any intention of leaving you to handle this on your own. His expression turned sad. Judd would have wanted me to take care of you, Madison. This is what he’d have wanted.

She didn’t know that. She didn’t know Hivers. This was her first time speaking to him.

I can tell you stories about him, he went on. Our son could know him.

My son, she clarified. Judd’s son.

He pressed his lips together and lowered his voice even more. Did Judd tell you that our mothers planned on having us at the same time? Our fathers had been friends for years before they met their wives. Did he tell you that I’d known him all my life? That he gave me his shoulder to lean on when my father died a year ago?

Tenderness pushed Madison’s own pain to the side. It was still there, but it was no longer at the forefront. He didn’t.

Judd was like my brother. We did everything together. I loved him. Pain slashed across his features, hard and true.

She remembered Judd speaking about her taking time from Hivers.

He took her hand again and this time, she didn’t pull away. I’m sorry that I had to deliver this news to you.