Discipline: Take Control of Your Life

By Harris Kern and Adriana Ace Castle

Do you suffer from procrastination?
Do you suffer from poor goal management?
Do you ever wonder why its so hard to focus?
Are you disorganized?
Do you let negative emotions derail your goals?
Do you sleep too much and have a difficult time getting out of bed each morning?
Do you have what it takes to compete in this economically challenged marketplace?
When times are rough, its easy to feel overwhelmed and just accept things the way they are.
However, successful people are ones who take control of their life via discipline.
Discipline is the defining element in your life. With it you can achieve anything; without it you will struggle to exist.
No matter how many books you read, if you don't commit yourself to self-discipline, the books will not help and you are back where you started.
What if discipline was a meta-skill composed of easy steps that you could learn?
How would that change your life?
Harris Kern and Adriana Ace Castle have distilled their combined 55 years of experience as life coaches and organizational consultants into a knowledge manual that features the 10 Commandments for Success.
This book simplifies the complexity of gaining the ability to discipline yourself into ten principles that you can understand and use right away.
Let us help you train your mind to build structure and to live life with a sense of urgency.
Take the first step in your journey to achieving your goals by reading DISCIPLINE: Take Control of Your Life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 11, 2011
• ISBN: 9781452099835

Harris Kern

Harris Kern is one of the world's leading life and organization mentors. Harris has been mentoring people for over thirty years to attain the highest level of efficiency. He helps individuals develop key skills i.e., self-discipline, leadership and EQ. Harris is an acclaimed author and publisher of over 40 books, some of the titles include Going From Undisciplined to Self-Mastery and On Being a Workaholic. Harris is a frequent speaker at business, leadership and management conferences. Mr. Kern is also the founder and driving force behind the Harris Kern Enterprise Computing Institute and the best-selling series of IT books published by Prentice Hall. The series includes titles such as: IT Services and CIO Wisdom, among others.

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© 2011 Harris Kern & Adriana Ace Castle. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 3/8/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4520-9984-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-9983-5 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-9985-9 (dj)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011900272

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and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

To my son

Kevin:

I hope one day you will remember the good times we

shared and not the difficult times we had to endure.

Son, you are my EVERYTHING!

I Love you SO much!

Dad

Table of Contents

PREFACE

ABOUT THE LEAD AUTHOR

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

INTRODUCTION

The First Step

Harris Kern’s Discipline Maturity Model

Being Structured

I. THOU SHALT TREAT EVERY DAY EQUALLY

Establish a Maximum of Two Priorities

Establish a Daily Routine

Keep Organized

Treat Your Life like a Business

Constantly Strategize

Remain Future Focused

Establish and Maintain Values

Summary

II. THOU SHALT TRAIN THE MIND

Mind Games

Be Intolerant of Failure

Control and Re-Direct Emotions

Think With a Sense of Urgency

Summary

III. THOU SHALT BE DILIGENT IN GOAL MANAGEMENT

Establish Realistic Goals

Goal Management

Establish Milestones

Plan for Worst Case Scenarios

Summary

IV. THOU SHALT PROTECT THY RESOURCES

Always be on the Lookout for Wasted Time

Establish a Daily Routine

Watching TV

Unnecessary Drama

Lack of Planning

Manage Energy for Peak Performance

Financial Management

Predict Daily Expenses and Supplemental Income

Budget Your Expenses

Start a Savings Account

Be Risk-Averse

Do Not Get Into Credit Card Debt

Eventually Purchase a Home

Summary

V. THOU SHALT LEARN TO SAY NO WITH GRACE

Summary

SUMMARY OF SECTION I: ACQUIRING DISCIPLINE

Focus

Commitment

Management

Control

VI. THOU SHALT IMPROVE EQ SKILLS

List of Emotional Intelligence Competencies

Learning to Apply the Competencies

The Key Virtues

Applying the Virtues

Summary

VII. THOU SHALT GROW TO BE A LEADER

List of Leadership Competencies

Applying Leadership Competencies

Leadership and Discipline

Building the Right Team

Organization Case Studies

Summary

VIII. THOU SHALT ALWAYS STRIVE FOR PERFECTION

Manage Life by the 80/20 Rule

Life is All About Accomplishments

Continuously Seek Knowledge

Summary

IX. THOU SHALT MANAGE SLEEP OPTIMALLY

What is Sleep?

Things You Can do during the Day That Will Improve Your Sleep at Night

Things to Avoid in the Evening

De-stress Before Going to Sleep

Make Your Bedroom a Sanctuary

Start Winding down an Hour or Two before Going to Bed

Think of Things You Have to Look Forward to the Next Day

Set Up Rewards for Your Body

Suggestions for Waking Up

Ridding Yourself of False Beliefs

Talk to Yourself about the Value of Time

Sleep Affirmations to Say to Yourself a Few Times a Day

What to do if You Get Foggy or Tired during the Day

Summary

X. THOU SHALT FOCUS ON THY HEALTH

Exercise

Play Mind Games to Consistently Exercise

Challenge Yourself

Manage Eating Habits

Play Mind Games and Train Your Mind

Eat Smaller Portions and Fewer Carbohydrates

Manage Your Weight

Summary

SUMMARY OF SECTION II: MASTERING DISCIPLINE

FINAL WORDS

HARRIS KERN’S CASE STUDIES

Single Mother with Poor Financial Management Skills

Helping Others But Not Himself—The Yes Man

Family Issues Preventing Your Success

Excelled in Her Career but Failed Miserably in Her Personal Life

Career Stalled

Poor Financial Management—Living Beyond His Means

The Alcoholic

Mr. Emotions

The Elderly Lady with Severe Arthritis

The Ineffective Executive

Academically Intelligent But Challenged…

Tries To Take On the World and Shuts Down

Small Business Owner with No Structure

She Couldn’t Study Consistently

The Entrepreneur

The Overweight and Unorganized Business Owner

APPENDIX A: ASSESSMENT QUESTIONNAIRE

Personal Information

Work Status

Initial Goals

Initial Challenges

1. Dreams/Vision

2. Drive/Attitude

3. Structure/Routine

4. Communicating/Relating

5. Health

6. Finances

7. Miscellaneous

APPENDIX B: MATURITY MODEL

Preface

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I was thirteen and I needed discipline. I didn’t know what I needed until I started actually talking to my next-door neighbor. This man with a physique that Apollo might have wanted if the deity were actual flesh took one look at my skinny ass and told me I look like shit. I started working out at his house at least three times a week.

My neighbor taught me more than physical conditioning and discipline. I learned how to communicate effectively, motivate myself and treat my life with urgency. I also learned how to control my emotions by redirecting my negative feelings into positive acts or to drop the pain completely. I may have been a little robotic until I grew up more and learned through life experience why we have emotions, especially the positive ones. But, the upside was achieving, on my own before the age of twenty, two milestones that few teenagers achieve: the first house and first brand new car.

I bring up the learning experience at the hands of my neighbor to bring home that while I may write several volumes about discipline that help people understand the concept there is no substitute for learning from the right teacher. Humans need to learn from good teachers, because we aren’t born with the means to defend ourselves or to contribute to the tribe. A baby is easy meat for any predator not kept at bay by either a bonfire or a twelve-tumbler deadbolt lock set into a solid block of oak.

As the child grows up, the need for discipline and learning grows exponentially. We learn to feed ourselves by going shopping with Mom and her fistful of coupons, or crazy Uncle Frank takes us into the woods and teaches us to sharpen sticks for use on the squirrels in the park. My neighbor was the more modern version of crazy Uncle Frank and I learned how to be a complete human being.

If I believe in healthy and positive mentoring relationships as being better than any old book, why did I write this and my other books on discipline? Well, good teachers can’t reach everyone and bad teachers abound, so the legacy I want to leave behind is that of books that teach the basics of the principles needed to survive a world with 500 channels and nothing on. Or put another way, it helps for the teacher to have a book from which to start the discussion about discipline, or conjugating verbs.

So there was a long period, starting 30 years ago, where I took my education and sense of order into the Information Technology industry. The high-pressure deadlines and cooperative environment in the office meant the self-disciplined always led the pack. I thrived on writing tons of IT books, more than I have fingers and toes. And I learned the techniques that work on writers.

But, I kept being called on to fix, order and create discipline in the office. The light bulb went off and a side business was born. There wasn’t anything at the library except the occasional phonebook using four-syllable Psych 101 words. I mentored people and organizations using my neighbor’s wisdom and what I had learned speaking to other successfully ordered people.

Early on I was glad of the scarcity of discipline books because there was less noise to get in the way of the lesson. People knew about Sergeant Stryker or R. Lee Ermey yelling at recruits to teach them proper bayonet techniques. They even sort of knew about the discipline dished out by...well, stereotypically, her name is Helga or Veronica and this discipline requires costumes and safe words. This last type makes people laugh when they hear the word.

But, when I realized it was time for the teacher to write books to start the discussion about discipline so that other teachers and students had the right tools, I dreaded visiting the self-help section in the library. Imagine my surprise to find that the books were still phonebooks and the jargon was up to five syllables (progress, I suppose). Even my first three books on discipline were a little too long, when I wanted a reference work with a sheet of principles that could be hung on the refrigerator next to the report cards. And I knew this time out I wanted a partner…

Adriana came to me as a client and immediately impressed me with her wit, charm, intelligence and most importantly sensitivity; a quality that for me only shows up in my coaching, but less so in my writing. Thirty years of ordering other peoples’ existence has actually turned me into a drill sergeant. You call me avert disaster, but my latest book has to provide those principles with juuuussst a liiiitttle bit more sugarcoating than I normally do for myself.

What held my interest was