The Reality of My Life: Inspite of Circumstances, God Saw Me Through

By Mr. Mark Benoit

The reason why I wrote "The Reality Of My Life" is to explain to the world what I went through as a child and how impossible it seemed during my growth and development for me to achieve my success educationally.

I often wondered why I should go through all these pains as a child and why was I so despised by my mother who should be loving, protecting, and guiding me to the best of her ability.

There were times that I felt all hope was going away from me but through the power of the Almighty God, I got the aspiration to change the negative aspect of my life into positivity.

While going through the pressures of life, I had no one to turn to. At nine years my older brother became my mentor and the principles he taught me never left me although it was for only one year. Today I can say to the world that I have a voice, and I hope anyone will be encouraged by my ability to fight and win.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 24, 2012
• ISBN: 9781463405410

Mr. Mark Benoit

1. I am qualified to write this book because this is "The Reality of My Life" and it is that precise information worth telling to the world so as to encourage people to, never accept defeat; instead, set goals no matter what the circumstances are. Also, do your utmost to achieve those goals. I struggled but I overcame and so could you. I experienced set backs, underwent tremendous headaches and pain as a child, having my mind confused at times as to why certain things were happening to me; such as, walking those lonesome roads at nine years old and experiencing extreme fear, and hoping that I could be rescued but to no avail. Due to the fact that I am the one who felt the abuse while growing up as a child and without a voice, I was unable to tell anyone about what I was going through. Everything stayed bundled up within me and eventually got sick but overcame all of my troubles because of deliverance from the Almighty God. There were times I felt that there was no way out for me because of the tremendous pressures that I was under, but for some reason I would escape those situations. After I grew older, I started praying a lot to my precious God and life became much easier for me. I started seeking God's guidance more often and that's why I have the rights and authority to write this book. 2. I am from the Caribbean, born on the Island of Dominica. I migrated to St. Croix, U. S. Virgin Islands at the age of 18. From a child I always wanted to be educated but did not have the opportunity. In the virgin Islands, I found a wealth of opportunities and took the advantage of educating myself. I went to night school, took a correspondence course, passed the GED. I worked as a carpenter helper, mason, and process operator mean- while. I migrated to the main land where I attended one of the Universities and obtained my MBA in Animal science and Vocational Education. Throughout my life I was often told that I would not amount to anything but to the surprise of the many nay sayers, God has elevated me to higher grounds. From then to now I have gone through excess pressures, different sicknesses and recovering through God's power, having my second son died, financial strains, yet obtaining some of my goals. That is why I am inspired to write this book. I am quite sure that there are many people going through the same struggles; therefore, I am hoping that when they read my book they will be encouraged and enlightened. That is why I wrote "The Reality of Life." 3. I eventually returned to the USVI. During my two years of teaching, my second son died tragically. Following his death we had successes and failures, such as having a business, build a second house, but due to competition the business failed and later shut down. For the past twenty years as a teacher, I have experienced sickness, deceit, jealousy, envy, and many more. Through it all, the Almighty God healed me and saw me through and has inspired me to write "The Reality of My Life." COMMENT: I hope that this book will be of interest to many readers around the world; it may be a mother, a father with children they did not plan for, please give them love instead of hate; older brothers or older sisters with younger siblings that are being abused by their parents, please do everything in your power to protect them because abused children are always crying out for help. I know because I lived through it and sometimes help was never there. Most of the time abused children are not getting the love needed to grow and develop properly. Some parents caused division among siblings which affected them emotionally, mentally and physically. This type of divisions are not healthy and cause problems in assertiveness, decision making, state of mind, and emotional stability for these children.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

My name is MARK BENOIT. I was born in PICODEAU, GRAND BAY, in the COMMONWEALTH of DOMINICA on the 16th day of September 1946. Before my birth, my mother had four children, two boys and two girls. I was the fifth child born to my mother but we were all illegitimate children. Some of us were of the same or different fathers. This posed a very serious problem for the family.

Unfortunately to my arrival, I was not a choice child. In other words, I was an unwanted child, and I was born at the time when my mother and my father were having a lot of problems and were breaking up. I learned that my father was a very wicked man and he did not support my mother while she was pregnant with me; neither was he supporting my sister who was born before me.

Therefore, my mother developed a very strong hatred towards my father but I was the one paying for all of what they did wrong in the past. When I was between the ages of two and three years old, I found myself in a strange place. I was very frightened and I tried to hide myself in one of the corners of the house. It took me a while to come to know that the house that I was now living in was my father’s.

The strange woman that was living in the house was his wife. I knew that I was living in another house before but I could not remember where. At the same time, flashes of different faces were coming to my vision and I often visualize myself as a little child behind a barricade at the front door and I was unable to go outside to play but these were just memories of me in another place.

As time went on, I realized that my mother did not want me and she hated my father for not taking care of his children; consequently, I was paying for his wickedness. I cannot remember if it was morning, nigh, midday, or afternoon; all I know, she brought me to my father. This was a very devastating blow for me, because, here I was without a comfort zone, love, and very little attention paid to me.

I was extremely unhappy in the corner of my father’s house. I cannot remember myself crying but I was always sad. My father was married to another woman and she had a girl child in a previous marriage. I remembered myself sitting in a corner of the house. My father was a very harsh man who did not care or have any concern for me as his son. He never gave me any love; instead, he was always very rough with me, and I was very frightened of him.

Sometimes Cathy [my father’s wife’s daughter] and I would play with each other in the yard. We had a lot of fun playing together and that’s the only time I felt happy. It appears that my stepsister enjoyed playing with me also because she did not receive love nor attention from her mother neither. I have a vague memory of my stepmother making negative remarks towards me whenever she was washing me or taking care of me. I had the feeling that she did not like me at all. I had no reason to believe otherwise.

CHAPTER TWO

When I was about or between the age of three and four years of age, my father decided to go to the island of Guadeloupe to work. I was not his wife’s son; therefore, I did not fit into his plan neither did his stepdaughter. He asked his sister for her to take me to live with her. My aunt was married, having only one son with her husband, and the son was approximately eleven years older than I.

My aunt had a very neat family. She agreed to take me to live with her and the family while my father went away as said but brought his wife along. Guadeloupe is a French island about 25 to 30 miles away from Dominica. I was very happy to know that I was going to live with my aunt although I did not know who she was. I despised living with my father and his wife.

I cannot remember vividly the time I went to live with my aunt but I do know that I was living with her and her family. I was extremely happy and thankful to all of them. Her son Emanuel loved me very much and treated me as the little brother he never had. My aunt’s husband was not a very talkative person but he was a very nice man. My aunt took very good care of me and she bought me a lot of nice pants, shirts and shoes.

She treated me as well as her own son Emanuel, and I was very happy living with them. I was so happy that I wished never to go and live with anyone else because I wanted to live with them forever. I remember on Sundays my aunt would dress me and her son and send us to church. She often dressed me with new pant, shirt and shoes. I had it made. I would walk the isle of Grand Bay with style and many people knew me and remembered me for a very long time.

At that time, I had a lot of confidence in myself because of all the comfort my aunt was giving me but I was only about four and a half years old. During that time, my aunt asked the headmaster of the school if he could allow me to attend without being registered. My aunt said that I was very developed for my age and was speaking very well; that’s why she wanted me to start school right away. The headmaster agreed, so I started school before I was five years old.

The school was about four miles away from our home; therefore, my cousin and I had to get up very early in the morning so that we could be in school for 9 o’clock. Every morning, I would carry a penny bread to school so that I could eat during recess but in stage one [the very first class when a child first start school] there was a little boy sitting next to me and he was older than I. This boy would pinch me in class and the pinch hurt me a lot so I would cry.

Then he started taking my penny bread, and I would let him take it so that he would stop pinching me. I had to bring a penny bread for this boy every morning. I was so terrified of that boy that I did exactly as he wanted me to. If I had only tell my cousin Emanuel about the problem I am sure that he would have rectified it for me but fear stopped me from doing the right thing.

This problem went on for a few months but eventually another school was being built near our area, about two miles away from where I was residing. A private man was building a huge house and the government was about to rent the building for school in that area and that made me very happy. Not because of the long distance I had to walk, but of the fact that this boy was not going to pinch me in class, and eat my bread anymore.

All of the children in our area were transferred to the new school including all of my brothers and sisters but I was not close to them. My aunt was very beautiful and she was always well dressed. Her husband was a handsome man and they loved each other very much. Although I knew very little about husband and wife, I could sense the love between the two of them.

According to what I understood, my aunt and her husband gave my cousin everything that he needed, and he was very outstanding in the community because he was always well dressed and popular. The time came when I was five years old and my aunt registered me in school. At that time, my name was on the roll call every morning. To me, life was wonderful while living with my aunt and her family.

In my wildest imagination, I never thought that I would have to go away from my aunt’s home ever because, I was so happy, comfortable, at peace, free, confident, safe and so well adjusted that I had no care in the world but unfortunately something tragic happened. I cannot remember all of the details but I can remember vividly that one sunny day, my aunt was ironing clothes, and she was a person who took pleasure in ironing; she was very good at that skill.

She had all of the windows and doors opened and was singing while ironing. It is as though I can see her right now, how healthy and beautiful she was. Her face had a special glow; as though I never saw her so pleasant and beautiful like that before. Oh, I loved my aunt very much and how I wish she was my real mom. That same day, my aunt got wet from the rain, and I was told that she caught pneumonia.

At that time I had no idea what pneumonia was but I understood that she got sick. She was then taken to the hospital but in a matter of a few days she was dead. I really did not fully understand the impark or the details of her death but I was very sad. I loved her so much but I did not cry when I was told of her death. Up to this day, I don’t know why I did not cry; however, throughout my life, I have never stopped loving my aunt because she meant so much to me. I have never stopped loving her.

After the death of my aunt, I never met anyone loving me the way she did. My life became a rollercoaster and my life was never the same again as when my aunt was alive. Her husband was devastated and their son fell apart and became extremely sad. I knew him to be a very confident person but he became very unstable and was getting into a lot of trouble in school. After some time, I just did not see him again until I became a young man.

I was all alone again but I stayed with my grandmother. After my aunt’s wake, my grandmother sent me back to my mother because my good-for-nothing father was still in Guadeloupe. From the time my father went to Guadeloupe, he never communicated with my aunt; therefore, he had no perception of my aunt’s death. To him, I was not alive so he had no responsibility towards me as his son.

I was wishing that someone else would take me to live at his or her home but there was none except the mother who from the beginning did not want me. I was extremely sad and I had no choice but to go to her home, a place where I was not wanted from the start. I knew that because she sent me away to live with my wicked father when I was very little and vulnerable.

CHAPTER THREE

The first few days that I was in Picodeau, I felt very strange. Although I was very young, I had the feeling that I was not welcome or wanted by the rest of the Picodeau family but there was nothing that I could do about the situation. However, I had to accept my plight as a stranger among my so-called family. Having established a good foundation of learning from my aunt’s home, I kept on learning very well in school.

When I was about 6 years old, my teacher said that I was too advanced to be in stage one; therefore, she skipped me from stage one to stage three but the woman who was teaching stage three said that I was too small to be in stage three so she sent me back to stage one. I was very disappointed and devastated about her decision. I cried all day and I could never understand why she would do such a thing to me.

When I went home that afternoon, my mother saw the sadness on my face. She then asked me, What is the matter with you and why are you crying? I replied that my stage one teacher skipped me from stage one to stage three and the teacher in stage three said that I was too small to be in stage three so she sent me back to stage one. I had no choice but to accept that wicked person’s decision.

During that same period of time, my mother’s common law husband was in love with the same teacher who sent me back to stage one. Let me try to explain the difference between stages and grades system. In the British school system, when a child is five years old, he or she starts school at the age of five in stage one and on to stage three. As time goes on this child is promoted to standard one and eventually to standard seven.

Whereas, in the U. S. system, a child enters the school system at age five and starts in grade one, and up to grade eight. This is how it was in my days but it is changing as the U. S. system now. Once again, I was the victim of my mother’s love triangle and problems but at the time I was not aware of the situation; however, there is nothing I could do about