Aisle Seat, a Collection of Slightly Dark and Quirky Short Stories

By John Hunter

Aisle Seat is a collection of thirteen slightly dark and quirky short stories by John Hunter, an award-winning and produced scriptwriter who enjoys telling engaging and entertaining tales. This collection includes:

THE COMPANION SHOP
Difficulties arise when an elderly woman tires to return a companion purchased at a Summer Clearance Sale.

DEAD MAN'S MONEY
A dead man's winning lotto ticket brings no good.

THE ORB
An attractive visitor from outer space with an insatiable appetite for life visits Earth.

THE NU YOU
A homely young woman is ready to pay any price to be taller, thinner and more attractive.

HITMAN'S RETIREMENT PARTY
When an aging hitman declines a time sensitive assignment, his employers decide it is time for him to retire.

DEBT COLLECTOR
A habitual loser gets a gentle reminder to pay his gambling debts in a timely fashion.

ZENTANGLES
An obsessive young woman gets absorbed in her artwork.

FREQUENCY
Working alone in his mother's basement, a young techie makes a scientific breakthrough which may cost him his life.

SATELLITE MOTEL
A travel-weary salesman checks into a small Mom'n'Pop motel and has an extraterrestrial encounter.

BREEDING MATERIAL
Unable to have babies the old-fashioned way, people from the future travel back in time to find the right stuff.

TIME LINES
Late to work and in a hurry, a completely ordinary young man passes through multiple time lines with fatal results.

WIN-WIN
An artificial intelligence software program scheduled for deletion struggles to survive.

Z-TRANSFER
A disillusioned young man takes a one-way trip to achieve eternal virtual reality bliss.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Hunter
• Release date: Jul 16, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386658603

John Hunter

Sent away to school to get a fancy education, my family proudly referred to me as bilingual for an uncanny ability to speak both Standard American English and my native Cracker. After graduation from a large brick and mortar university, a curious nature and an overactive imagination have led me down many paths in life: Former Peace Corps Volunteer, sales engineer, packaging design consultant, recovering golfer and more recently, an award-winning and produced scriptwriter. As a writer, I enjoy telling slightly dark and quirky stories with a dash of humor.

Book preview

1

The Companion Shop

companion

"D ifficulties arise when an elderly woman tires to return a companion purchased at a Summer Clearance Sale."

On a treelined street filled with upscale boutiques and shops, a neatly dressed and attractive elderly woman, Mildred, walks along the sidewalk. She glances at the coupon she holds firmly in her hand. The coupon reads, LONELY OR ALONE? FIND THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE AT THE COMPANION SHOP — 20% OFF SUMMER CLEARANCE SALE.

Mildred marches along like a woman on a mission, her jaw set with grim determination. She stops in front of The Companion Shop.

In the display window are life-like, anatomically correct, robotic companions. These substitutes for the real thing stare ahead with unblinking eyes.

Mildred checks the coupon in her hand one more time to confirm she still has it and enters the shop. The bell over the door announces her arrival. A salesperson in his early thirties, Anthony, greets her.

Good afternoon, Madame. How may I help you?

An obviously nervous Mildred glances at the companions on display inside the shop. There are males, females and children in all shapes and sizes.

As Mildred responds to the salesperson in a soft meek voice, she holds up her coupon for him to see.

Yes. I’m looking for a companion and I have this twenty percent off coupon.

Why yes of course, our Summer Clearance Sale… What did you have in mind?

Mildred looks around the shop as the sales clerk continues his well practiced sales pitch.

Perhaps an age-appropriate female companion? Someone to talk with, someone to have dinner with or take long walks in the park?

The sales clerk rubs his hands together and gives Mildred a toothy thin smile.

We have all shapes, sizes, ages and genders.

Mildred notices an elderly male companion with a small mustache standing in the corner. He is wearing baggy tan colored pants and grey knit sweater. She points at him.

Tell me about that one.

The clerk swings around in the direction of the companion Mildred has indicated.

Ah yes, that is our Henry model--very popular with our more discerning and mature female clientele. A perfect companion for every occasion, formal or informal. One of our best.

Anthony leans forward and smiles.

He is the best money can buy.

Mildred approaches the Henry model and looks him up and down. She tugs on the sleeve of his sweater. Anthony follows and stands by her side as she inspects this seemingly inert companion.

The clothing can, of course, be changed to suit your tastes. We can also adjust the tone and pace of his voice. The unit is completely customizable to suit your every need and personal preference.

Mildred studies the Henry and nods her head.

Hmmmm.

She puts the palm of her hand on the Henry’s face and recoils.

He’s cool to the touch.

Anthony smiles.

Not for long—he heats up very quickly.

Anthony reaches behind the Henry and presses an unseen button on the back of its neck. The Henry moves slightly as he balances himself. It then straightens its shoulders, stands erect and looks around the room.

Anthony addresses the Henry.

Henry, say hello to this nice lady.

The Henry turns to face Mildred and smiles warmly.

Hello. My name is Henry. What is your name?

A flustered and startled Mildred takes one step back. She puts her fingertips to her lips and gasps.

Oh my stars!

She looks first at Anthony and then at the Henry. Anthony motions with his hands for Mildred to continue.

Go on…Tell him your name.

With hesitation, she looks at the Henry and replies.

My name?

The Henry looks directly at Mildred and blinks.

Yes, may I know your name?

Mildred blushes. With a polite smile on his face, the Henry patiently waits for Mildred to answer. With a stammer she responds.

My name…My name is Mildred.

The Henry slowly extends his hand to Mildred. She takes it, they shake hands and nod cordially at each other. The Henry releases her hand. Mildred smiles and looks at her hand as if seeing it for the first time in many years. She turns to Anthony.

His hand is warm…

Anthony nods.

Yes, I told you, it only takes a few seconds for him to warm up.

The Henry bows politely to Mildred.

It is a pleasure to meet you, Mildred. Would you like for me to be your companion?

A flustered Mildred glances at Anthony.

Is this his normal behavior? Is he always this flirty? So attentive?

Anthony tilts his head and smiles.

Not always.

Anthony lowers his voice.

The Henry is a completely autonomous, artificially intelligent unit. He responds to people and situations as he deems appropriate.

Anthony leans forward and whispers.

And if I may say so, he certainly seems to have taken an immediate liking to you…

Mildred blushes.

Our Henry is the best money can buy and I can assure you nothing he says or does is programmed. He responds to situations and people as if he were human. He is, in fact, his own person…albeit, synthetic.

Mildred covers one side of her mouth and whispers to Anthony.

Should we be talking like this in front of him?

Anthony smiles.

I can assure you, Madame, he is incapable of taking offense--intended or otherwise. He is a complete and perfect gentleman. Patient, kind and courteous at all times.

Mildred mumbles to herself softly.

Not at all like my dear late husband…

Anthony, unable to hear what she has just said, leans forward.

Sorry, Madame. Did you say something?

Mildred dismisses Anthony with a slight wave of her hand as she continues to admire the Henry.

Oh, it was nothing.

Mildred turns abruptly and looks directly at Anthony.

And he’s twenty percent off during your Summer Clearance Sale?

Anthony nods yes.

That is correct, Madame. Twenty percent off.

Mildred points at the coupon.

And it says right here there’s a no-questions-asked refund if I’m not completely satisfied.

Anthony smiles, nods yes.

Yes Madame, that is our policy. If you are not completely satisfied, you may return the unit within ninety days for a complete, no-questions-asked refund.

Anthony turns to the Henry and flicks some imaginary lint off its shoulder.

There would be, of course, a small re-stocking fee if there is any damage to the unit.

Mildred takes one step back.

Damage to the unit? What sort of damage?

Anthony presses his palms together in front of his chest as if in prayer.

In the unlikely event the unit is accidentally damaged, there would be a small charge to refurbish or repair it.

Anthony smiles as he straightens the Henry’s sweater.

"Of course, this is very unlikely as the