The Incredible Adventures of Champagne Charlie

By Mar Shy Sun

The Incredible Adventures of Champagne Charlie is a modern urban folk tale that takes place in a non-specific time and place. The scene opens with Champagne Charlie, Son of the Gods, in all his decadent glory, drinking with his friends. He is served champagne by his servant, the Master of the Cellar, who also turns out to be the Master of Ceremonies (the MC). During the course of the party there is a drive-by shooting and the MC is killed, leaving Champagne Charlie devastated (and with none to guide the festivities). Charlie has no alternative but to go to Deads Town, where all dead people go, to try to bring back the MC in order to get the daily supply of fine champagne to which he is accustomed.
Charlie sets out on his journey to find Deads Town, but he does not get much help along the way, because everyone he meets is only interested in their own personal dreams and schemes. First Charlie meets the Mayor of This Town, who asks him to save his daughter, Djakala, who was lured away by the "Complete Gentleman," who is actually just a Skull who rented a full set of body parts, thus making himself irresistible. After Charlie successfully frees Djakala from Skulls Town, he takes her as his wife. Now Charlie and Djakala set off together to continue Charlie's quest to find the MC in Deads Town. When Djakala stubs her foot on a thorn, a grown child emerges from it and declares that he is their son, Baby Chad the Bad, a child with an insatiable hunger and an unquenchable thirst. Because of his magical powers Chad the Bad is able to command Charlie and Djakala to carry him on their backs through the forest. They are only freed from this horrible apparition of a child by the magic of Drum, Song and Dance--three lively, competitive spirits, each of whom exerts his own hypnotic spell. Chad the Bad is so captivated by them that he climbs off the weary shoulders of Charlie and Djakala.
After an all too brief respite Charlie and Djakala are once again tortured, this time by the cruel and merciless inhabitants of NoExitNever Junction and their mad king. They are saved from a miserable death by two knights, whose joy in dueling and living has disappeared since they no longer have Fear or Death. The knights acquire Charlie's and Djakala's Fear and Death in return for freeing them from captivity. Tired, weak and in pain, Charlie and Djakala stumble upon the abode of Faithful Mother in the White Womb. It is here that they sleep for a year and are finally given a chance to rest, to dream, and to be healed. As they resume their journey Charlie and Djakala once again meet the two knights, who give them back their Fear, but not their Death.
En route to the airport to Deads Town Charlie and Djakala are greeted by the Hyena, who teaches them a new dance and cheats them of their last money. They, nevertheless, get on board a plane to Deads Town, along with 400 dead babies. As soon as they arrive there they are arrested by two guards who lead them to the Great Head of the Deads, the queen of Deads Town. She indulges in philosophical reflections about love and death, but then supposedly kills Djakala and announces that Charlie will be her groom at the next celebration. Charlie is in despair, but he finally meets the MC, who tells Charlie that he is his creator, and that he has found a way that they could both escape Deads Town alive. Charlie thinks the MC has lost his mind, but accepts his plan to challenge The Great Head of the Deads to a bet, to see who can drink the most. Charlie drinks her under the table and manages to escape together with Djakala. Next we find Charlie and Djakala lying in a field, expressing their love for one another. They kiss each other as the light fades. Rain begins to fall - a rain of champagne. Life reins over death

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mar Shy Sun
• Release date: Apr 24, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370105533

Mar Shy Sun

I came from the Realm unknown to you. And that isn't a fiction but then - what isn't. There are no Authorities, Kings or Rulers what is most likely hard to understand for you. I'm unmixed with Darkness what is even harder to understand for anyone. But I feel its gravitational pull nevertheless. So I fulfill myself in and around this reality which is flat by the way with a couple of intentions and a couple of travel documents. A lot of times people scare me - they have it... what I call - death eyes. By origin I am very high (thanks to my origin!) and I try to show people that the Realm I come from is much more beautiful than this one. People don't really believe me - obviously. They tend to hate me for that. So obviously I'm not so interested in things people think are so important - as to be good or bad or famous or salesman for my intentions. A few times I have received honors from the organizations what exulted me above the others. It is intrinsically natural to share for me. After all everything here boils down to a lot of suffering and little high. So I have to do all by and for myself - just to be normally high. I still try to make others also feel the goodness of that state. That's all. Glory to well-being! Glory to my home!

Book preview

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF

CHAMPAGNE CHARLIE

MAR SHY SUN

and

LAILA M. SALINS

(Inspired by Amos Tutuola's THE PALM-WINE DRINKARD)

Copyright © 1996

All rights reserved

SONG LIST

Drinking Song

It's a Radiant, Radiant, Beautiful Life

Hymn of the Gods

Yours Forever

Drinking Song (Reprise)

There's a Certain Kind of Something

Broken-Hearted Ballad

She's Going Ga-Ga!

Strip-Tease of the Hired Parts

My Name is Baby Chad the Bad

A-wriggle-in-the-belly-and-a-tickle-in-the-toes (The Beat of the Sun)

Pain is Forever

Here We Are Beneath the Sky

Song of the Blue Porcupine

Down the Funnel of Love

Do the Hyena!

Flying to Deads Town

I am Death, I am the Captain

The Butcher's Game

You and Me and the Bumble-Bee

CHARACTERS

(in order of appearance)

Champagne Charlie

Master of the Ceremonies, also:

Father of the Gods

Bird with mask

Master of the Cellar (Big Cheese)

Crowd of Gods

Brother A

Brother B

Heaven

Earth

Party guests

Party Boy #1

Party Boy #2

Party Girl

Policemen

Detective

Ambulance workers

The Bird

Mayor of the Town

Djakala

Girl #1

Girl #2

The Complete Gentleman

Lenders

Skull Family

Baby Chad the Bad

Drum

Song

Dance

NoExitNever Inhabitants

King of NoExitNever Junction

Secretary of NoExitNever Junction

Knight #1

Knight #2

Faithful Mother

Nurses

The Hyena

Dead Babies

Femme fatale (voice)

Great Head of the Deads

Guards of Deads Town

ACT I

(The curtains open. Deep red light. In the middle of the stage is a golden throne. Champagne Charlie walks onstage. He looks around, sits on the throne, clears his throat and starts to play a concertina. He is dressed in a ruffled shirt and a red velvet suit with glittery embroidery.)

Champagne Charlie:

Drinking Song

I've been a drinkard

a champagne drinkard

since I was a boy of three.

My duty is to be happy

to drink champagne

'cause I know there is

nothing else for me

I've been a drinkard

a champagne drinkard

since I was a boy of three.

My duty is to be happy

to drink champagne

'cause I know there is

nothing else for me

(A different song starts with a steady beat. Disco lights flood the stage. Champagne Charlie does a dance number.)

It's a radiant, radiant, beautiful life

And I love you all

For the son of the gods

It's a genuine calling to feel good

And I love you all

It's a radiant, radiant, beautiful life

And I love you all

For the son of the gods

likes to drink champagne

For the son of the gods

it's a genuine calling to feel good

And I love you all

It's a radiant, radiant, beautiful life

And I love you all

(Suddenly there is a blackout as from an electrical short and the music grinds to a halt. The curtains close. The Master of Ceremonies [MC] appears in front of the curtains, he looks like a bulging muscle diva of Infommercials. He speaks with an Eastern European accent. He is cheesy and dangerous. A solitary spotlight illuminates the upper half of the MC's body. The steady beat starts up again, a little faster.)

The Master of Ceremonies

:Wasn't that marvelous! Ladies and gentlemen! Indeed! Good evening and welcome! Welcome! How happy I am to be here with you on this occasion! You are the greatest! And I love you all! Here we are! Another enchanted evening at our little home far away from home. (Gestures to embrace the theater space) Dear friends, for tonight's entertainment - tonight, and tonight only, our special offering is - THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CHAMPAGNE CHARLIE! As you might imagine, it will be a wonderful and terrifying journey. But don't be frightened, lovely ladies... kind gentlemen. Whatever you do, don't leave your seats. We have so much excitement in store for you. You'll love it! Or your money back. GUARANTEED! Tonight's hero, Champagne Charlie, is about to set forth on his adventures. But right now, ladies and gentleman, a quick look back at Charlie's illustrious ancestry - where it all started. I can't tell you exactly how far back that is, because back then history wasn't even invented yet. It was a happy time, a very happy time, ladies and gentlemen. Champagne Charlie's father was a god and so was his grandfather - the eminent Father of the Gods. His father's brother was a god, too. And Charlie's mother - oohlala! What a goddess! As a matter of fact, back then there was no separation between Gods and Men, between Heaven and Earth, between Bad and Good, between Dark and Light, between Dreams and Reality.

(The MC runs away. The beat stops with a cheerful: Yeah! Sound of cymbals and fanfares. The curtains open, revealing a scrim with primitive decorations in glitter, as if made for a cheap game show. The spotlight comes up on a crowd of gods with togas and wreaths on their heads.)

The Gods:

Hymn of the Gods

Hail to the golden light of the Sun!

Hail to the Silvery Moon above!

Hail to the Father of the Gods!

Hail! Hail! Hail!

(They salute the appearance of the Father of the Gods who has a mask and a white gown, looking like Moses. He stands far