No Surprises Living in Devizes 2
()
About this ebook
Another bought of my humble little column all about my hometown of Devizes. A year has passed again, a wonky year with which dragged us through an election backwards and things went from bad to worse.
The deliberate satirical slant towards the underdogs, in this, our Tory town, went flying over the heads of many, who angered perhaps a bit too much. I fear I lost some avid readers to the Daily Mail. Well, I say fear.
During the times of lesser political avalanche, the natural progression towards creating Devizine, my local what’s-on guide website, can be seen through the book; if I knew then what I know now.....
Still, we had some amazing guests and some fun along the way, didn’t we? Oh, okay.....
Darren Worrow
I was born in the Fling Dynasty of a small planet known as Duncan in a galaxy far, far away. My humble parents, believing the planet was on the eve of destruction, sent me off as a baby in an egg-shaped craft and I landed here on planet Earth in the spring of 1973. I was later to discover through a cavern of ice, as you do, that the planet was fine all the time and it was just a particularly nasty prank by my father’s mates down the pub. I landed in a deep jungle and was raised by a company of wolves, learning to live as they did. Until one day when a naughty tiger with a very English accent came along and I was whisked away by a black panther and a jazz singing bear to a man-village. It wasn’t the tiger I was worried about; it was the American cartoon producer following on behind him. It was at the village that I won a golden ticket to visit a chocolate factory where I fell into a river made of chocolate and was sucked up a pipe into a fudge room; happy days. It could have been worse; I heard some other kid turned into an exploding blueberry. I lived at a coastal Inn for a while until an old sailor paid me a penny to look out for a legless seadog; what a cheapskate. In finding him I discovered a treasure map and was promptly whisked away by a sailor to a Caribbean island where I got into a bit of a rumble with some pirate radio DJ called Captain Tony Blackbeard. It was that or another holiday in Clacton. At eleven I was taken away by a man with an uncanny resemblance to actor and comedian Robbie Coltrane to a school for wizards where I had to battle it out with some bald blue bloke who killed my parents, said he was a lawyer working for an author called JK Rolling or something. That wasn’t as bad as the frog flavoured semolina we had to eat for school dinner. As I grew up and went to college I decided to give my favourite toys, a cowboy and a space ranger, away to a snotty girl from around the corner, nobody told me the cowboy was really Tom Hanks otherwise I would have given them away a lot sooner. So, other than the time I was bitten by a rare spider and found myself with special arachnid powers which I used to defeat an evil leprechaun, I left college and it was all very uneventful. Nowadays I have settled down to a family life and enjoy writing books, striving to be more like Bruce Bogtrotter every day. People say “where do you get your ideas from?” I tell them I have no idea, I've had such a boring, everyday life. If you really can be bothered to know more about me why don’t you visit my website at www.darrenworrow.webs.com and find out even more honest facts?
Read more from Darren Worrow
White Space Van Man The Prequel: Total Fickle Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStark Trek: White Space Van Man 2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCracked it Mate; The Memoirs of God. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOne Piece Missing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Hargreaves Code Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSaffron Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5No Surprises Living in Devizes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Chip off the Old Block Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlindfold Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhite Space Van Man Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Perminator Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to No Surprises Living in Devizes 2
Related ebooks
Inked With Love: A Forbidden Romance Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Power Moves: A Guide to Livin' the American Dream, USA Style Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Laughing at Myself Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSuccess Is 90% Spite Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nothing Else But You: The Letter Club, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Making Ripples: The Rosewoods, #6 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Bongo & Delilah Break Daytona: B&D Capers, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5All the Pieces of My Heart Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Perfect 10: The Truth About Things I'm Not and Never Will Be Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNo Surprises Living in Devizes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSnapshot Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy Son's Not Rainman: One Man, One Autistic Boy, A Million Adventures Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Tasty Dish Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMore Than A Country Song Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJay's Gay Agenda Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How I Met My Other: True Stories, True Love: True Stories, True Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTale of Two Summers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Out of the Ashes: A Shelby Belgarden Mystery Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The One Who Got Away Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHell's Diva II:: Mecca's Return Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAwake: Big City Nights, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWouldn't Be Dead for Quids: An Indulgence in Rhyme Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSaint Mayonnaise Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGettin' Witched: Witchless in Seattle Mysteries, #12 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Billionaire Ian: Billionaire Black Brothers, #7 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDiary of a F.A.T. (Fed Up and Tired) Girl Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Last Great Getaway of the Water Balloon Boys Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5From the Window of a Mid-Century Childhood Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHillbilly Queer: A Memoir Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Humor & Satire For You
Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Swamp Story: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Farrell Covington and the Limits of Style: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5My Favorite Half-Night Stand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Radleys: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dating You / Hating You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for No Surprises Living in Devizes 2
0 ratings0 reviews