Anger Management - How To Stay Calm Instead Of Losing Your Cool! Strategies, Tips & Techniques For Controlling Your Anger!
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About this ebook
Introduction
Anger management is not just for crazed maniacs or disgruntled executives. Learning how to manage minor and major irritations is something everyone needs to do. You may want to start by obtaining general anger management information and progress to enrolling in an anger management class. But first you need to recognize classic symptoms of uncontrolled rage that will alert you to the need for anger management.
Everyone loses their temper at times. There is no shame attached to getting upset when the dog has an accident on a freshly scrubbed carpet or a subordinate fails to complete a needed report for your one p.m. meeting. But if you find that you react in extreme ways, it may be time to consider anger management.
Looking beyond the physical, it is also a good idea to seek others opinions about whether your temperament might benefit from anger management training. Some may suggest anger management exercises you can do on your own at home, perhaps while engaged in meditation. Others might advocate anger management counseling or anger management classes that you can work into your schedule.
You also may want to consider the consequences of any potential anger management problems you might have. For example, have you ever been written up at work for a problem stemming from your failure to practice anger management? Has your anger impacted a serious relationship in a negative way, whether it is with a spouse, child, parent, sibling, friend, or romantic interest? Has a family member or friend suggested that you need the help of anger management?
Anger is a healthy emotion that enables us to express dissatisfaction or disappointment with something in our lives. But when it becomes out of control, this personal irritation needs to be trained to remain behind wholesome boundaries.
If you have questions about anger management control, this unique book "Anger Management - How To Stay Calm Instead Of Losing Your Cool" will assist you in discovering the latest strategies, tips & techniques for controlling your anger.
Manuel Braschi
I am dedicated to providing my readers with the latest and most up-to-date e-Books on topics such as Health & Fitness, Self Improvement, Internet Marketing, Social Media and other genres of interest.
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Anger Management - How To Stay Calm Instead Of Losing Your Cool! Strategies, Tips & Techniques For Controlling Your Anger! - Manuel Braschi
The Need To Control Anger
It is often difficult to preserve control of your natural impulses while others close to us make us angry. It can be still more difficult with the cost of living raising every year and bringing more pressure into our lives, and as if that is not sufficient the legal and political system is regularly putting more stress on us everyday.
Most of us deal with the stressors in life as they come our way, but a few of us cannot and become out of control. Management is frequently the best answer for treating anger; but then, the individual must be ready to admit their actions are leading to more problems and be prepared to obtain a solution.
If a person react violently, verbally abusive, assaulting others and so on, it not only leads to trouble for the person that is out of control, it also causes difficulties for others. Normally when a person has anger issues he or she will attack other people perhaps physically or mentally or even both. The angry person will often attack in a way that belittles, humiliates, harms, or threatens another. This person truly needs to learn to manage his or her anger, because anybody around him or her is affected to a certain amount.
Anger is mainly the inability to restrain our basic impulses, needs and emotions. If a person is out of contact with his emotions, it frequently creates a chaotic mind. Anger is not necessarily a bad thing, when and if a person is threatened; it is always good to have an amount of anger to protect you, but when a person doesn’t have any control at all then it will lead to problems.
Anger, sadness, joy and happiness are all parts of our emotions, and when we have those emotions in control we can live a productive life. However, when we begin to target or attack others then it is more and more difficult for us to handle our life and anger.
One clearly recognized example is school bullying, for a few children going to school is a nightmare, each day a bully will antagonize this child pushing him beyond his limit of control. The child may hold his feelings in for a period, but eventually he or she is going to loose control, due to the fact that none of us is prepared to continue permitting someone to make our lives miserable.
Sorry to say, when this child gets to his or her limit and returns the attack on the other youngster, he then becomes the culprit and is frequently punished. The bully could quite often get away with his actions, and once the victim takes action he or she is frequently punished. The school personnel will often say why didn’t you tell me what was going on?
However, the fact is the child most likely told the personnel and in my experiences, they seldom act. The out come is that now we have two children with anger troubles and more people in trouble. This is merely one of the numerous reasons why a person cultivates anger to the point at which they feel they have to retaliate.
Each time we are angry we feel it in our body and mind. Our body will often tense up if we feel angry. If you feel this tension then it is time to step back and take control. Ask yourself, why am I mad? Why do I feel this way? Asking yourself questions might help you find the answers if you search your mind hard enough.
Generally after a person has developed a level of anger that is out of control, they will frequently strike out at people even if there is no justifiable reason. The person may have just moved something that belonged to that person and they respond by saying something like, you stupid moron, why in the hell did you move my belongings? I cannot believe how stupid you are. Why do you bother breathing?
This is completely inappropriate behavior; the angry person may attack physically by kicking, hitting, punching, spitting, or causing other types of harm to the individual. It is vital to get management in play if you have anger problems.
If you cannot control your emotions then one day, someone will control them for you. Anger is great if you have it under control, but when you loose control somebody, someday will pay and that someone in most cases will be you as well as the trail of victims you leave behind you.
Image result for The Hideous Poison of AngerThe Poison Of Anger
When asked what gets in the way of communication most often, anger comes up. Moreover, the anger is often related to a perception of a situation that may not even be accurate. That is why anger can be a poison that sucks you in.
Judgment and ridicule can set in. Your breathing starts to change and becomes shallow and significantly faster. This pattern lowers the oxygen level in the brain, which increases the irritability, impulsivity and leads to confusion and behaviors such as threatening, yelling or hitting.
Your brain then starts searching for other reasons to be angry to justify how it feels.
By looking for reasons that can make other people bad or wrong, the mind believes it offsets or even justifies its own actions, thinking and beliefs.
It then sets up vibrations of energy that attracts more of the same and other people of the same nature. Your brain can then literately filter out anything contrary to the raging thoughts that it now feels.
All communication has stopped at this point. The other person is now defensive and on guard against the onslaught of verbal and possibly physical attacks from the other person. They no longer see this person as rational. They give no credibility to anything the other person is saying. In most instances, they are in protection mode and not even paying attention to anything the angry person is saying.
If they get angry them self, it increases the rage and adds more fuel to the fire. They now look for past behaviors that can explain the actions of the angry person. If they remember any previous angry behavior, it is easy to conclude that the other person always gets angry.
It is important for both parties to take a time out and reflect on what the original issue was and what they wanted to relay. Try to look at, just what are the important issues and what isn't important. Having give and take in the communication can go far is resolving issues. They could also reflect on how and why the anger built up. What about this issue brought up the anger. How does this relate to any past issue. What are the feelings that I have around this.
In most cases, anger is a secondary emotion. It can mask fear, whether it is a fear of loss or needing control of a situation. Being clear on why you reacted and can go along way in resolving the intense feelings and help you to focus on the issue at hand. Then the communication can proceed towards understanding and resolution.
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Image result for Anger IndicatorsAnger Indicators
Here we will sum up the signs of anger, because even though everyone is different, there are certain comparable signs that denote this strong emotion.
Sometimes, an angry person will verbally or physically assault others. They are sometimes prone to violent outbursts, often involving hurting others or destroying things.
An angry person is often aggressive, and might complain a lot about seemingly everything. They often engage in malicious behavior toward others, retaliating or striking out against others.
People who are angry are often antisocial, with an incapability to relate to their peers. Often, they disparage people, say cruel or unkind things, or hurt people to make themselves feel better.
Their lack of dealing with the anger problems leads to the inability to trust others. They exhibit suspicious, judgmental, or jealous characteristics toward others. Angry people might try to undermine others, and be disruptive if they do not agree with something. An angry person is not pleasant to be around, and they desperately need help.
Recently I heard about a woman that had serious anger problems. For seemingly no reason she would react to what most people would consider minor issues such as a child eating too much or eating something that she envied.
Something like this was enough to bring about an irrational reaction. Sometimes she was mild in her acts, and other times she was out of control. In most cases, she had no basis for her behavior; however, there was an underlying source, as is usually the case.
The woman did in fact display anti-social behaviors, and she often conveyed odd thinking patterns. For example, she would say that all men are pigs. She also talked about leading men on; leading them down to her basement and having alligators eat them alive. The woman was unbalanced and very ill.
Now she was diagnosed with Bipolar Manic Depression, and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. After careful examination Posttraumatic Stress was dismissed and the diagnosis was that of exaggerated, anti-social traits.
According to her, the cause for her anger was that the many men she had been involved with had mistreated her. This was only part of the reason, and the truth surfaced when she talked more about her life. She had been adopted as a child; therefore, she felt a sense of abandonment.
The origin here is understandable, since she most likely resented her parents for giving her up for adoption. Even if the parents reasons were valid, she rebuffs when prompted to hear the other side of the story. Since the woman's symptoms were ongoing, the treatment would probably never work since she