Life After Bullying

By Nathan Segal

My name is Nathan Segal, and I am a bullying survivor. While there will be some references to my history, the vast majority of what you will read is about how bullies function, how to get them out of your life, and, if you’ve been traumatized, how to remove the trauma with TimeLine Therapy (more on that later). 

For addtional information, visit my blog at http://LifeAfterBullying.net or on my YouTube channel at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdyYC_IWzXuSRkFM2wZdhNA

Here are some of the main topics of this book:

• Bullying and Crazy Making Behavior
• 10 Facts About the Bully Mindset
• Long-term Effects of Bullying
• 3 Actionable Strategies to End Adult Bullying
• How to Deal with Bullying on Forums
• Why It’s Important to Expose Bullies
• How Bullies Target Their Victims
• 5 Ways to Protect Yourself Online
• Protecting Your Internet Privacy
• How Boundary Violations Can Cause Suffering
• The Challenge of Enforcing Boundaries
• The Importance of Defining Your Personal Space
• How to Set Boundaries with Family Bullies
• When it’s Time to Sever the Ties
• 3 Steps to Effective Workplace Boundaries
• Relationship Breakups: How to Get Over Anyone in a Few Days
• The Myth of the Sacred Family Bond
• 5 Facts About Abusive Relationships
• How Automatic Thoughts Can Cause Suffering
• How to Recover from the Effects of Bullying Faster Than You Ever Dreamed Possible with TimeLine Therapy

The chapter on TimeLine therapy is of crucial importance. Before that session, I thought I would suffer from the effects of bullying for the rest of my life. The TimeLine Therapy released the bulk of the trauma from my life. 

When working back and forth with my coach, I discovered an important fact, which the incidences of bullying, while painful, were not the problem. The problem was the ongoing story in my head, the never-ending war against the bullies, which is what was causing me the most pain. 

TimeLine Therapy dissolved that story and the drama that went with it. The change was so fast that I’d become a different person before I even knew what had happened. The result was that most of the effects of bullying dissolved from my life. To this day, I still feel the effects and what’s left over continues to dissolve.

It can work for you, too.

You can learn more at my site http://LifeAfterBullying.net or on my YouTube channel at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdyYC_IWzXuSRkFM2wZdhNA

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nathan Segal
• Release date: Mar 13, 2017
• ISBN: 9781535471251

Book preview

1. INTRODUCTION

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What you'll read in this book is based on my experiences and does not constitute legal advice. If there is any doubt about the veracity of the information contained here, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Bullying has captured the media spotlight as of late, and there have been multiple stories, not only of the bullying itself but of the deaths of people, young and old who committed suicide because they believed that it was the only way to stop the bullying.

I too have been bullied, many times throughout my life. The bullying created tremendous emotional pain. For years, I was in counseling for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and the cause was bullying and harassment.

If someone is bullying you, you don't need anyone to tell you how difficult it is to cope with, how much it hurts emotionally, nor how many people won't believe you. And to make matters worse, some of your friends might side with the bully and abandon you.

Essential Things You Need to Know

One of the first things you need to know is that the bully is not a normal human being. The very things that would be abhorrent to you are fuel to a bully. For one thing, bullies get off on the fight. They get their energy from the humiliation, mind games, twisting your words, workplace sabotage, backstabbing, etc.

By fighting back, you feed their hunger. And while they may seem angry or even appear to be crying while they abuse you, it's an act. Anything to get you to respond. And if you respond, the bullying will continue.

The longer the bullying continues, the worse the emotional pain becomes. It can totally devastate an ordinary person, and the damage can take years of recovery if it happens at all. One of the devastating effects of bullying is developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which could lead to many years of suffering. Fortunately, there are some therapies for this and we'll look at those options on this site.

In my years of bullying I tried desperately to beat the bully or to end the cycle but I never reckoned with the power of the bully to bait me and draw me back into the drama. And if you're reading these words, this has probably happened to you, too.

While I could get into a lot of theory here, I find that's of little use. It will only suck up a lot of your time and keep you enmeshed in the drama. Fortunately, there are ways to end the bullying, and will allow you to move on with your life.

2. AN EXPERIENCE OF BULLYING

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If you have experienced bullying, you will know it is painful and emotionally draining. In some cases, you might not have realized it was happening. One bullying incident I experienced was when I was in my early twenties in a technical school.

For a long time, I shrugged off the comments by my instructor (referring to me as The Hebrew, the Lebanese and the Jew), until one day, something inside me snapped, and I became angry.

I complained to the department head and almost went to the dean. A few days later, my instructor took me into an empty classroom, called me a racist and tried to goad me into a physical fight. Fortunately, I realized what he was doing and did not fall for