My Interviews with Famous Dead People

By D R Hann

This is the second book in the „Writer Don‟ book series. The first book was titled „Satan‟s Authorized Biography.‟ In the first book, Writer Don was hit by lightning, which enabled him the capability of seeing and hearing dead
people. I have tried to capture each famous person to the best of my ability.

• Language: English
• Publisher: D R Hann
• Release date: Apr 15, 2010
• ISBN: 9781449539481

D R Hann

Just a story teller, not a Leo Tolstoy. You'll either like my books, or hate them. Remember, keep going forward.

Book preview

My interviews with famous dead people

By D R Hann

PDH Publishing

My Copyrights and Notices

Copyright © 2009 by D.R. Hann

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author, D.R. Hann.

This is a work of fiction. Some names, characters, places, and or incidents are of the author’s imagination and are fictitious.

1

Introduction

This is the second book in the ‘Writer Don’ book series. The first book was titled ‘Satan’s Authorized Biography.’ In the first book, Writer Don was hit by lightning, which enabled him the capability of seeing and hearing dead people, and the spirits of the dead, such as Satan. For more information and answers on why Writer Don came to write for Satan, which he really did not want to do, please read the first book.

I have tried to capture each famous person to the best of my ability. Through my research and my imagination, I hope I have done a good job in bringing each famous person back to life, so to speak. This book was a lot of fun to write, so it was fairly easy to write.

If I have missed small facts on a certain famous person, then I apologize, I wrote this book as entertainment only.

So how did I choose the famous people I wrote about? Not sure, I just sat down and compiled a list.

It was easy for me to write about famous dead people who I have been able to see and hear in my life, rather than those who were not alive during my life. With historical facts, some rumors, and my imagination of these famous dead people, I think I did my best, but I guess you, the readers, will be my judge.

My thanks to Google, Wikipedia and Quotation page dot com for helping me with my research.

I would like to thank my wife, Phyllis. Without her hard and diligent work, this book would not have been possible. Thank you Phyllis.

My other books may be found at Amazon and Smashword

Chapters

Chapter 1 George Burns

Chapter 2 Mark Twain

Chapter 3 Leonardo Da. Vinci

Chapter 4 Babe Ruth

Chapter 5 Amelia Earhart

Chapter 6 Julius Caesar

Chapter 7 Wyatt Earp

Chapter 8 Nikola Tesla

Chapter 9 John Lennon

Chapter 10 Harriet Tubman

Chapter 11 William Shakespeare

Chapter 12 Vince Lombardi

Chapter 13 The Pirates, Blackbeard and Calico Jack

Chapter 14 Confucius

Chapter 15 Marilyn Monroe

Chapter16 Crazy horse

Chapter 17 Charlie Chaplin

Chapter 18 Thomas Jefferson

Chapter 19 Will Rogers

Chapter 20 Babe Didrikson Zaharias

Chapter 21 Socrates, Plato & Aristotle

Chapter 22 Generals Grant and Lee

Chapter 23 Stanley & Livingston

Chapter 24 Howard Robard Hughes

Chapter 25 Frederick Douglass

Chapter 26 Ludwig Van Beethoven

Chapter 27 J Bruce Ismay

Chapter 28 Dr Curtis Welch (The 1925 serum run)

Chapter 29 Mary Edwards Walker

Chapter 30 Thomas Harkin, a man from the future.

George Burns

"Thank the Lord I am done writing Satan’s book for him. I would not have done it, but since an angel of God told me it would be okay, that was the only reason I wrote for that great deceiver.

I wish it would have been George Burns I was writing for."

Someone call me?

Who are you?

George Burns! Didn’t you call for me, and who are you kid?

Wait a minute, maybe this is an after effect of being struck by lightning. First Satan, now George Burns?

Look kid, I have followed some pretty bad acts in my life, but if I follow Satan maybe I should start to pray more. You would not happen to have a cigar?

You are going to tell me that you are the one, the only, George Burns?

Well, look kid, that was only my stage name, my real name was Nathan Birnbaum, but who would pay to see a man by that name? Anyway you called for me and now I am here. Oh, by the way, thanks, Gracie my wife, wanted me to plant some bushes out front, do you have any cigars?

So, you mean, just because I called out your name you appeared to me?

Look kid, I don’t make the rules. I know you think because I played God in that movie picture that I can do things like this, well I can’t. Although, Gracie is getting pretty good at doing things from this side, you call it the afterlife. So, why did you call me, and what is your name and do you have any cigars?

You’re George Burns? Born in 1896, you died when you were one hundred and, no I don’t have any cigars.

"Yup, that would be me kid. I could go for a good cigar. You know I started smoking when I was about ten years old, and I smoked three cigars a day until the day I died, which was one hundred years old.

So kid, let’s see, you don’t have any cigars and you don’t have a name and you can’t tell me what you want. Sounds like the time when Jack Benny and me went out for dinner and I had forgotten my wallet. Jack was acting like he did not know who he was or where he was or even what he was doing at the restaurant. Luckily, my manger was in the same restaurant and picked up the tab, but I had to sign on with him for another five years.

You know kid, even here Benny is cheap. Even though you really don’t have to pay for things over here, he still breaks out in a cold sweat when we do things, like when we play golf, which is free.

By the way, never play golf with an angel, they can’t be beat. Tiger thinks he is good. I once played an angel who scored a twenty seven for a twenty seven hole course. He was amazing, the angel was hitting his ball off trees, off the wild life, skimming off the water and still they were going in the cup. On the sixth hole, it took him two shots, so what’s he do on the seventh hole, he tees it up, and hits his ball so hard that it went into the seventh hole, then the ball bounces out and goes right into the eighth hole. Are you sure you don’t have any cigars?"

George, sorry I don’t have any cigars. So it sounds like if I call someone they will appear right here.

"Kid, just don’t call Gracie, I really don’t want to do any planting.

Hey kid, do you think you could get me on the Oprah show, and are you positive that you don’t have any cigars?"

George, I don’t have any cigars, and no I don’t think I could get you on the Oprah show. Can you image if I were to call the Oprah show and tell them that I represent George Burns and he wants to come on the show? They would lock me away. How come I can hear you, but I only see a faint mist of you?

"Sorry kid, I had some beans last night. I can materialize but I have to expend a lot of energy, you think you have an energy crises.

I once materialized at the Oscars and I was laid up for a week, tell that fellow named Hanks, that yes it was really me."

So George, do you follow what’s happening on this side? Can you really smoke a cigar?

Kid, some of us follow what the living are doing. I mean talk about your soap opera. The living puts all those shows to shame. I have to be honest with you kid, I haven’t seen things this bad since I did my roller skating vaudeville act. As far as the smoking a cigar, I can’t actually smoke it, I just want to smell it.

George, what kind of advice would you give to us?

"Kid, I would have to say, start being nicer to each other. The living reminds me of an angry monkey. I knew this guy in vaudeville who had a chimp in his act, then one day the chimp just did not want to go on with the show. The man got so angry he picked up his belt and started to beat that poor chimp, but the chimp got even, he bit all the man’s fingers off of his right hand. Just goes to show you kid, you never want to mess with an angry chimp.

I think man will finally come to realize what they have done when it will be too late.

If I ever get bored, I am coming back as someone like Clint Eastwood. I have played the good, I have been bad, and look at this face.

I was wondering, can you sing or dance?"

Neither, and my wife forbids me to sing in the house.

I know what you mean. Gracie would never let me sing in the house either. I am trying to get together a new vaudeville act, but there is not going to be any chimps. Look kid, I have to go, Gracie and I have a bridge game with Lucy and Desi, yes they’re back together again. God likes them that way! In the future kid, look me up. I’ll put in a good word for you.

Mark Twain

Let me try to call someone else. I call upon Mark Twain?

Someone call me?

Mr. Twain, Samuel Longhorne Clemens. Is that you?

Sir, this name calling game bores me, but so does heaven some times. Please state your name and business?

I am Writer Don. If I may, I would like to ask you just a few questions.

A writer? What do you write? Are you a newspaper reporter? I am sort of fond of them, at least the ones that have not slandered me. It has been a while since I have been asked a question or have answered a question, with regards to a news story.

Normally, I write short stories, fiction. I am writing this book, titled, ‘My interview with famous dead people.’ That is why I would like to ask you a few questions. I have already interviewed George Burns.

"Burnsy; never play golf with him. Gracie, his wife, likes to help him, like his ball will ricochet off a tree and go right into the cup. I have even spoken to him about his cheating. Burnsy’s reply, it’s not cheating as long as God’s angels are doing it. Hell, that is what it felt like. Maybe this is part of my punishment.

My wife, Olivia, finally put her foot down and told me no, more golf with Burnsy. I really did not like golf anyway. My game?

Gentleman’s poker. Twice a week me and some of the other gentlemen here, like to play poker. Just two days ago, we had a heck of a poker game. Let’s see, there was my good friend Henry Rogers, he was a big muckety, muck for Standard oil. There was my other good friend, Nikola Tesla, who in my book was the smartest man who ever lived. Hey, you should consider interviewing him. Oh, there were the Erp brothers, Wyatt and Morgan, and William Shakespeare, although he can get on your nerves a little, ‘cause he is still writing over here and he likes to review his plays, which is hard to do when you’re playing poker.

So go ahead, ask your questions of me and I shall not lie."

Don: Where did you come up with the name Mark Twain?

Mark: "Yes, my famous pen name. That came about as a joke. I used to work as a Steamboat pilot on the Mississippi river, and we would have to file a bunch of darn river reports. One day when I had about one hundred things going on and they wanted my report, I thought, I’ll give them a report from someone that they never heard of. So I thought of a name, as a joke to keep them guessing who the report was from. So I came up with Mark, for the mark on the river, like the depth of the river and Twain, for comparable, meaning the river is right now comparable for all river traffic. From then on,

every time I filed a river report, I would sign it Mark Twain. I sort of grew fond of the name and started using it for my stories. Do you know that a lot of folks back then really thought my name was Mark Twain?"

Don: Which of your stories do you like best?

Mark: Well, several of my stories were my favorite, but if I had to chose just one, I think I would say, ‘A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court.’ Time travel and fiction, you call it science fiction.

Don: What words of wisdom do you have for our society.

Mark: "Too many to say. You know when a fellow writes or says something profound, they don’t have to say or write anything else. I think it is time for society to start to go back in time, a more gentle time. Why it would be downright intelligent if the people of America could turn back society to about the 1840's, a gentle time, just as it was on the Mississippi River back then. The way of the river, the way of life, slow, peaceful. The clean river, the summers of fishing and swimming, of skimming stones across the river, and the only thing we cared about is who could skim their stone further. The summer’s eve, the cool breeze, which came off the river at night. Where no one was a stranger and were all welcomed.

This society has come too fast too soon. Why, you’re going so fast, you haven’t even noticed where you have been or what’s up ahead. I would like to clear a few things up if I may, Writer Don?"

Don: Go ahead Mark, it’s okay to call you Mark?

Mark: Yes, you can call me Mark. Writer Don, do you know what is so important that I think America has forgotten?

Don: No, tell me Mark?

Mark: "Telling the truth and taking responsibility. Seems there’s a lot of finger pointing going on. Sometimes, I think with all that pointing going on that fingers should start to fall off. I would like to say that there were those who had written that I was prejudice. I would like to state the truth, when you are on this side you have to tell the truth. We all have our prejudice; no man can stand before God and state that he was not prejudice against something or someone!

When I was very young, my prejudice I held, but as I grew I learned. I was raised thinking slavery was normal, so that is what I believed. But as I grew into adulthood, I came to see the pain that it caused and knew that slavery was wrong, where it is most important, in my heart."

Don: What do you think of the direction that America is taking?

Mark: "There has never been an Imperialist country that has kept its power and has not fallen from grace. All you have to do is look back at history. Maybe man is doomed to repeat history over and over again.

My heart breaks when I look at the greed in the world of today. Man has placed the cart before the horse and he is only moving forward because of the abuse he causes the animals. Man is certainly cruel to his fellow man. Must it be this way? I pose this question to mankind. If you think that you, as a people, as a society, have advanced more than at any other time in history, then why is there still hunger, ignorance, cruelty, greed and wars?"

Don: Mark, I think they are words to live by. What do you like the most on the other side, and any more words of wisdom?

Mark: I am sorry; I have to go after this question. I am going fishing with my brother, Orion. It is time for man to start learning how to love instead of hate, to learn to live with his fellow man. Remember, to end up here, you must have total love for your fellow man in the most important place, your heart!

Don: What is it like over there?

Mark: That question is almost too easy. On this side, it is Hannibal, Missouri 1850's all the time, a time of Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, a time of total peace. It’s summer time, all the time, with gentle breezes, which come off the river, and everyone knows everyone and all are welcomed here.

1Leonardo Da Vinci

"Let’s see, who should I call upon next? Mark Twain said I should interview Tesla. I think I will save him for later. I agree with Mark Twain, Tesla might have been the smartest man to have lived. Who else was considered intelligent? There are a lot of people I could choose.

Da Vinci? But do I want to interview him? Let’s see, let me take a quick look on the net for information on Leonardo. I did not know that much about him. Wow, he was involved with everything from anatomy, science, math, inventing, music, botany , writing, philosophy, sculpting, carpentry and of course painting. I could ask him about that Da Vinci code thing. Maybe gather information