Cruising Through Life as a Bartender

By Teoman Toydemir

A bartender from a cruise ship shares with you how he began his cruising adventure and his extraordinary experiences on this road. Concealed crew and passenger stories that he saw from behind the bar, that could perhaps make you consider to get a job on a cruise ship , or possibly book a cruise right away

• Language: English
• Publisher: Teoman Toydemir
• Release date: Jan 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781522764205

Book preview

Chapter 1

It was one of those hot August days in Istanbul. Well, let me correct myself. It started like one of those days. In the end, it became the day that shaped the rest of my life: August 8, 1992.

The Istanbul agent who hires crews for cruise ships called me at eight in the morning and told me, "If you want to join any ship, you have to be here in two hours.’’ Of course, I had just woken up, and only physically.

My first reaction was, ‘‘I can’t. You are on the Asian side of the city, and I’m here on the European side. I can’t fly. ’’

He asked me, "Do you want the job or not?’’ That was pretty clear and straight to the point. Obviously, he had used this line before, and I have to say, I could not think of a better one to get me out of bed and take me to that part of the city at nine in the morning. Therefore, I did not discuss this longer.

I said, ‘‘I’ll fly.’’

What could I say at that moment? I was twenty, and that could have been the biggest opportunity in my life to go to places that everyone I knew dreamed of in those days. I wanted to travel the seven seas and the world, and, hopefully, save some cash. So it was not the right time for an "I-don’t-care-about-the-world’’ attitude.

Of course, at that age, young men just care about money, traveling, and pretty girls. That is what matters. What young man would think about the challenges he would have to face, the people he would meet, or the job he would be expected to do? Probably, I would not have cared then even if I had known. Basically, for me, my life was officially starting.

Then again, maybe it is much better not to think about all that stuff, isn’t it? It could be a little scary for a twenty- year-old boy who had almost zero life experience, only dreams. As a matter of fact, I have never been a person who minded the challenges of the things I have been involved in. I just do it, or I do not. I do not know if I should be proud or mad about this.

I pulled myself together quickly and took the first bus and then a boat to go from the European to the Asian side of the city. I was a little late, but I made it there.

There were seven or eight guys in the room, all of them very close to my age and all deadly silent. There was almost no air in the room. I was fully focused and staring at the agent who had called me earlier. To be honest, I had not realized why he wanted me there so urgently until I heard him speaking in English about the ships. An interview was scheduled with someone from the Cunard cruise line recruitment office. Obviously, that was one of those moments that could change a lot in a person’s life.

He handed the phone to the guy next to me, Musty, whom I did not know at that time. He was asking Musty about restaurants and meals. Wow! I was getting nervous. What if he asked me something I didn’t know? I was trying to be as calm as I could. Actually, I was trying to look as calm as I could, but deep inside, my heart was almost coming out of my chest.

Then it was my turn. The agent passed the phone over to me and stood in front of me. Everyone was watching me closely. There was a British man on the other end of the line. He had a very calm and kind voice that sounded typical of a British gentleman. He asked me my name, if I had worked before in a restaurant, and so on. He was speaking very slowly and clearly so I could understand easily. Then the question I was afraid would come came! He said, What is a quail?

Wow! My English was good enough to have a daily conversation in those days, but I guess it was not good enough to know what a quail was. He shot me down. I had no idea what a quail was. I said to myself, "That’s it.’’ It was like pouring water on my head. So I repeated the question loudly, hoping that someone around me would hear and help me.

"Sir, did you say what is a quail?’’

I was looking right in the eyes of my agent because I was hoping he knew what a quail was. Fortunately, it did not take him too long to respond. He started to move his arms up and down like a bird in the middle of the room and whispered the meaning in Turkish. Imagine the face of the rest, who had no clue about the meaning of the word. It was hilarious.

I got the message quickly, so I said on the phone, ‘‘Of course, I know, sir. It’s a bird.’’

I felt such a release. It was a simple question, but not knowing that bloody bird could have changed everything I dreamed and planned for my future. Certainly, I would not be where I am right now. Since that day, I will never forget what a quail is, and whenever I see one, I remember that moment.

The interviewer on the other side asked me a few more simple questions, such as how my school was and where I had learned my English and so on. He was satisfied with the answers I gave him. I could feel that. He asked me to pass the phone back to my agent. For some reason, he didn’t even talk with the rest of the guys in the room.

We were all watching the agent’s face and trying to read something from his body language. He hung up the phone and stayed in silence for couple of seconds. Then he looked at me and Musty and said, "You guys got the jobs. You will join the ship in two and a half weeks in Southampton, England. I will receive your contract tomorrow afternoon, so be here at 1:00 P.M. tomorrow please.’’

I said, Was that it? I was astonished at that moment. I did not know what to say. Maybe I was a little scared as well. Here I had the chance I was asking for to change my life. It was almost twenty years ago, but I remember those moments like today’s morning.

I went out of the office. My walk was a bit different. I was having totally mixed feelings. I found a pay phone and called home because I could not wait any longer. I did not know who else to share my feelings with. I said, Mom, I’m leaving in three weeks. I got the job.

That is all I said.

I could feel that my mom, on the other side of the line, was not as happy as I was. You know, mothers want their boys next to them all the time, especially Mediterranean moms. All of them are very close to their sons.

Immediately, I started to think of what I should take with me to the ship, how I was going to fly, and where the ship would take me in the next six months. Well, to be honest, I still was not thinking of the important part. Would I be able to do the job? How was I going to leave loved ones behind? Would I miss my friends and family?

I was going to join the M/S Vistafjord in Southampton, England. I had never been there. It was very exciting to think about it.

So that week I got my visa for England. Normally in those days, getting a visa from embassies was a lot of hassle. We were asked for tons of papers and asked questions concerning our trip -- the reasons for it, whether we had money in a bank account, who would cover our expenses, and so on.

I prepared myself one small piece of luggage. I packed some sweaters and a few T-shirts. I thought, "I’m all set. I could even travel to the moon with this.’’ However, I needed to buy pants and my own shoes to work on the ship. In fact, I had no idea about traveling, and I was not really sure about what to take with me. I knew there would be some things I was going to need there, but I did not know what. So I had to wait and see. There was no other choice.

I had two good friends back then. They were as excited as I was. We talked about the pretty girls I was going to meet, the ports and cities I was going to visit, and, of course, the tons of money I was going to make. I was still not thinking about the hard job I was about to face and the kick I was going to get in my butt.

Those two weeks went really fast. Then my agent called me and said that he wanted me to come over to his office to give me my flight details and to process the payment for his job. He wanted $500 US as a commission for contacting the company and arranging this employment for me. It was 1992, and that was a huge amount of money for me. I had no job, nothing, but at least I had a plan to get the money.

My ex-boss from the bazaar in Istanbul was a great man. He is someone I really respect. I went to him on the same day and explained my situation. He did not even think for a second. He just took $500 US from his safe and gave it to me right at that moment. I was very lucky because things were working out nicely for me.

Finally, the day came. I had a 2:30 P.M. flight to London. Someone from the office was going to pick me up at the airport. I was going to fly together with Musty. He had worked for Royal Caribbean cruise line before, so he kind of knew what to do. Actually, I was happy I didn’t have to join the ship alone. I was going to a totally new place, but at least there was one person who would speak my language. I was glad to know that I was going to have a travel buddy because I did not know what to expect. I was at the airport at 12:30 P.M. I checked my luggage and was ready to go through the passport check line. It was a weird feeling.

Indeed, I was questioning myself at that moment about whether I was crazy and if I was doing the right thing. I was leaving everything behind -- my family, my friends, and the place I call home -- to go after something totally unknown to me. It was great to have all these, but I believed there was a missing piece in my life. I had to go and find it.

My dad gave me a hug first, and then my sister, who was only fourteen at that time, hugged me too. Anyway, she is my little sister. Afterwards, my mom came, of course in tears. I will never forget that. Obviously, she was not happy at all that I was leaving. Maybe because of this experience, I have never liked airports. They always remind me of that first time I left home.

That is how I left home for the very first time. For me, there were just a few tears and mixed feelings. I am sure it is never easy to leave home for anyone, but what needs to be done has to be done. I could not live in a little shell for all of my existence; I had to face life leaving that safe place behind. I had to go and get my share of life. If I just waited until someone brought it to me, I might end up waiting for all my life.

After an almost four hour flight, we arrived at London Heathrow. That is such a nice and big airport. Yet what I did not understand then was why almost everyone working in the airport was Indian. For me, that seemed funny since when I arrived in England, I expected to see English people. It was like flying to Mumbai. I do not have anything against Indian people. It is just that, to me, that was interesting because it was not what I had visualized as my first experience in England.

Suddenly, we heard an announcement calling my and Musty’s names. We went to the information desk, but there was nobody waiting for us. The agent did not wait long enough for us to show up and left. It was quite late in the evening. Frankly speaking, I was very happy to have Musty next to me in that situation as I was feeling lost. Fortunately, he had an aunt who lived in London. Despite the fact that he had not seen her in almost eight years, she was our only hope that night. Back in those days, there were no credit cards, and neither of us had much cash. So Musty called his aunt. She explained the underground and told him where to take the train and at what station to get off. His aunt’s husband came to pick us up. Although I did not know that man, I was very happy to see him.

They had a three story house, a very British home. Everybody in the house was awake and waiting for us. I noticed they were happy to see us as well. In the end, we were a late night surprise for them. Musty’s aunt and uncle had two kids, and they gave us the children’s bed. I was so tired that night I felt asleep as soon as put I my head on the pillow.

We woke up at about seven. His aunt prepared a nice breakfast for us. I remember very clearly that she said with a smile on her face, This will be your last Turkish breakfast for awhile. It was as if she knew what we were about to experience.

I was wondering about one thing actually. Why were they using milk for tea? That is not Turkish at all. Musty’s aunt explained to me that was how English people drank tea. Eventually, they got used to it as well. I tried a bit, and it was quite nice in fact. Back home in Turkey, we do not do that. Anyone who has been to Turkey knows this. We drink a lot of tea, almost as much as British people, but not in that way.

That morning we had to go to Southampton to join the ship. This city is located about two hours by train from London. Honestly, at that time, I was more than happy that Musty was with me. Without him, I would have definitely struggled and suffered more. Musty and his aunt’s family had made a much easier beginning for me so far, I must say.

The train ride was a really good time for relaxing. I had two hours to sleep on that train. I have never been a morning person; it takes me ages until I am totally awake. Musty and I were talking about how the first day could be, the girls we would meet, and so on. We kind of got into the traveling mood fast.

As soon as we got off the train, we saw a taxi waiting outside the station. It was one of the black ones they use in England. We asked the driver if he knew where the Vistafjord was. He said she was docked where the QE2 was. That driver knew exactly where she was. Well, it was good to hear. We were getting closer to the end of our journey.

He drove us to the cruise terminal, and there she was: an enormous grey ship with a huge red chimney. She was a beauty. Unfortunately, ships like her are not built much anymore. I was so excited, you cannot imagine. A complete new book was opening in my life, and this was nothing like starting a new school or moving to a new house. This was something that not many people get to experience. This was the beginning of my sea life!

Chapter 2

A British security employee welcomed me, asked for my passport, and checked for me on the list. There I was, as an official crew member of that beautiful cruise ship. When I was a kid, I watched the Love Boat on TV. I never imagined I could be a crew member on a ship like that. Life is like this. You never know what it is going to bring to you. The security employee directed me down to deck three to the crew office. He explained to me that once there, I would have to hand in my contract and passport, I would be assigned a cabin, and I would be given a schedule to perform my job. After he mentioned all that, I realized I was not joining the ship for cruising, but for working. I was still acting like a tourist. I was wearing a nice blazer and had one hand in my pocket trying to look cool. Whoever had looked at me would have noticed I was not ready to be a waiter in the dining room, to carry big heavy trays with food, or to do cleaning.

As soon as Musty and I stepped down to the crew area, a crew member approached us. That was the buddy. A buddy on a cruise ship is a fellow crew member who is assigned to show you the ship and explain your responsibilities to you. Our buddy, Serdar, welcomed us in Turkish and said he was going to help us to find our way around. I was so surprised that we were not the only ones from Turkey onboard. Nowadays, honestly, for me it does not matter if there are other people from Turkey onboard. I have gotten very used to living and working with people from forty or more countries. So far, I have shared a cabin with people from twenty different nations. Of course, not everyone loves each other, but in the end, all of us get along. Frankly, sometimes I cannot help thinking that there is no reason for the peoples of this world to live without peace.

Serdar knew in advance that two fellow countrymen were joining the ship. Although he did not know us, he arranged a cabin for the three of us. He was from Istanbul as well. Besides us, there were four more Turks onboard, which was many more than I had expected.

Our first duty was at 6:00 P.M. It was a meeting with the chief steward, who was actually the maitre d’ onboard. Dinner service was starting at 7:00. On that ship, there was only one seating.

So far, things were going fantastically. I had a cabin with two other Turkish men, I had picked up my uniform, and I was ready for the action. Still, I was very confused because I could not tell the front of the ship from the back. Seriously, I had no idea where I was. The first day at work must be the worst for everyone, I guess. On most ships, new arrivals are called ‘‘fresh meat."

Then I was feeling very hungry, so I asked Serdar to show us a place where we could eat. He took us for our first meal onboard. We went to a cafeteria-like place called the crew mess, which was very clean and nice. Many uniformed crew members were waiting in line to get food from a buffet. There were waiters, stewardesses, and many more. I could not tell their positions by their uniforms. I could hear a lot of people speaking German. I lived in Germany till I was eleven, so I could kind of understand them -- not completely, but it would help me.

When my turn came, I did not know what to pick. There was a lady serving from behind the buffet who asked me what I would like. She could see I was not sure. With a little smile on her face, she said, ‘‘How about some chicken and mashed potatoes?’’ I agreed, but the way the chicken was cooked was different from everything I was used to back home. Actually, it did not look like chicken at all, and I did not recognize it.

I knew immediately what my first challenge would be: getting used to this cuisine and somehow finding something I liked to survive. After all, I was about to work in the dining room. There had to be something to suit my taste.

After having my dinner, it was time to go on duty. I met my supervisor, and he told me where my station was in the dining room. He guided me to the maitre d’s desk, where I met the restaurant manager. He was a tall blonde gentleman with a thick mustache. He greeted me, shook my hand, and asked in a strong German accent whether I had experience onboard ships. I replied I had not, and then he told me not to worry because I would get used to it.

I had never worked in a five star restaurant or hotel before. I did not tell him this. My previous experience consisted of a job in a snack bar when I was seventeen. You can imagine the difference. I was aware I was in trouble, but I was trying to pretend I knew how to handle the situation. After all, I felt confident I could perform accordingly.

I was assigned two tables with four guests each. All of them were American and were nice people. I could see so. I went to the table, introduced myself, and wished them a great dinner. I was shocked when I took their order because each of them was asking for five different courses. To be honest, I did not know how to do this, but I thought it was more appropriate to finish one table and then move to the next one. At least I had this plan.

Of course, things did not go so smoothly. When I got to the second course at one table, the other table had complained to the headwaiter that they had waited too long. To me it did not seem so long. It was my first half hour on duty, and I already had trouble. My first lesson struck me immediately on the first night: I had to be faster. I guess that is why Americans came up with the fast food concept.

The galley of the dining room was like a battlefield. Eighty waiters plus 100 chefs were trying to do their utmost to serve the food as fast as they could. There was screaming, shouting, machine noises -- just a really fascinating operation. On top of that, carrying the big square trays was not easy at all.

‘‘Where the hell am I?" I asked myself.

Fortunately, the waiters around me helped me a lot, and somehow I managed to finish the dinner duty. My headwaiter understood right away that I did not know much about this field, certainly not enough to handle it in an efficient way. Definitely, it was not a good start.

At the end of the night, I was so tired that the moment I put my head on the pillow, I passed out.

The next morning I started at 8:00 A.M. While I was getting ready to serve my first breakfast to the guests, I was making a lot of promises to myself. This time I was determined to do it in the right way. I had to do it better. I went up to my station and started to get my tables ready for the breakfast service.

Straight away the headwaiter called me and said that the assistant maitre d’ wanted to talk to me. Oops! I knew it was not going to be something good. I was very nervous. Probably, I was about to be issued a warning, which is very serious. I guess it was normal after a poor dinner performance.

Surprisingly, the assistant maitre d’ was very calm. He was an experienced Italian man. He immediately addressed the point.

Teo, four of your guests changed their table. You only had eight guests in total. Certainly, they were not happy with your service. They said the service was too slow.

I was so embarrassed, but he was right.

I am so sorry. I have to get used to the way the Americans eat. Back home, it would not have been considered a delay.

That is how our guests like to eat. They do not like to wait too long for their food. Ninety percent of the passengers are Americans. You better get used to it fast.

On my second day at work, my mistake was not tolerated. It was important for me to learn this quickly. Obviously, they did not have a sense of humor when it came to guests’ complaints. The service onboard was a solemn matter. So I ended up with only four guests while the other waiters had from ten to twelve people. For me, that was reasonable because I really did not know much about the food nor the procedures. To be honest, I was pushing myself.

‘‘Teo, learn it fast! I said to myself, You can do it.’’ I took this criticism as constructively as I could since I was willing to learn something from it.

That night I did a better job. I talked to my guests. I asked them how every course was. I showed a lot of attention to them. I did not want to make another mistake. They were wonderful people. They realized I was new at the business; they were not giving me a hard time at all. I even heard them talking to my headwaiter regarding how hard I was trying. I was satisfied to see they appreciated my effort.

It was a fourteen day cruise. That is a long time, actually. After one week I knew exactly how things worked in the galley and around the ship. The biggest advantage I had was my English. I was speaking enough English to survive on the ship; otherwise, it would have been a real nightmare.

Our cabins were located on the third deck. That was the crew area. We had a small porthole, which is what windows are called on ships. There was a small sink, a small table, and a chair. Bathrooms and toilets were located all the way at the back of the ship or aft. There were ten toilets and ten showers. All of them were very clean and in good condition. Cabins for the stewardesses and female staff were located at the aft as well. They had their own showers and toilets. Actually, theirs were in better condition. I guess ladies kept them that way.

For my second cruise, I was assigned six guests to assist. I had a Spanish headwaiter. One of his tasks was to assign guests to the waiters. He started to work on the ship when the ship