Beloved

By Agnes “Nesa” Reyes

Torn between two lovers. Vanessa went on a vacation to Spain where she found love with Antoinette and Claire. Many years has gone by whether Vanessa will able to forgive herself of the wrong doings of her past. Antoinette is torn between her identity and torn what her heart is saying. Claire is another woman who fell in love with Vansessa. Will Vanessa finally find where heart is? Vanessa is torn between the truth and lies she soon find out.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 28, 2013
• ISBN: 9781477299593

Agnes “Nesa” Reyes

She is well determine and will not stop until she succeed something in life. This has been her dream or goal in life to write a book. When she was in High School when she started writing. Her other passion is writing poetry. She believes for being a writer is life awaited path for her to start. Even though she waited all this time to come to this point, but she believe and think, anything is possible to never give up your dreams.

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© 2013 by Agnes Nesa Reyes. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 01/25/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4772-9960-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-9959-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012923655

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

The Past

Present Time

The Wedding Day

The New Chapter

Two Months Later

The Final Chapter-The Poem

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I t’s summer in San Francisco while the fog was rolling in covering the Golden Gate Bridge. I stared out the window as my mind starts to wander. I start to mesmerize the past to what was lost and hard to gain it all back. I try to hold my breath of some painful memories what I would hope for is something more I could imagine myself to restore them into something more like a master piece.

Three years ago, I’ve had this premonition that something was bound to happen to my life. I couldn’t quite figure it out. I didn’t want to think or talk about it too much. It’s not like a vision that I’ve had in my dream but this faith that I have in me, but then yet still unclear.

I opened my email and who is a stranger to me after all this time. After contemplating whether to finish reading this letter, I thought, this person has a nerve to contact me after so many years. I somehow felt alive for some odd reason when I start reading her letter. I didn’t understand why I was feeling this way. Is it because of the way she was composing her letter seems to be realistic to me? When I start reading her email, I thought for a minute how it touches heart that I might be falling in love again.

Dear Vanessa:

I am sorry that I haven’t kept in touch with you. I’ve been pretty occupied with my job here. I wanted to send you an email right after you left Spain. But I didn’t have the courage to do so then. But what the heck, I should give this one shot, right. I am sorry if I am imposing you. I just want you to hear me out, okay. I know this hasn’t been easy for me to write this letter to you. But Geoffrey insisted me to contact you. I am a bit nervous but on the other hand excited at the same time. I know Geoffrey has been emailing you and he probably has mentioned to you that I was at the airport the day when you left Spain. I didn’t have the courage to tell I came back to Spain for you. I didn’t want you to see me because I was in tears when I saw you walking away. I remember what Geoffrey told me that day, You just lost half of your life and he was right.

When I first met you at the café, you inspired me. I remember when we first made love; I swear I didn’t want that day to end. I wanted to ask you on that same day to live in Spain permanently. But I didn’t have the courage to ask you. I didn’t want to scare you. I didn’t realize when I saw you leaving, my heart just dropped. I knew then, I have fallen in love with you in a day. You might call me crazy but my heart was telling me it was right.

All I wanted was to spend more time with you. But my father insisted that I need to go back to London. I didn’t have any choice. One other reason I left so quickly, I was pregnant. Before we met, I was already one month of my pregnancy. I got worried if I did tell you I was pregnant. You probably didn’t want to go out on a date with me if I did tell you. By the way, my daughter’s name is Michaela and she’s three years old. I am sorry I left you just like that. So here I am still alone and single hoping that one day I’ll have a second chance to see you again.

Well, Vanessa, I better end this before I start crying. You can call me or reply back to my email if you want to. I’ll understand if you don’t. I will always love you. Love, Antoinette.

When I finish reading her letter, I was a bit much in dazed. I gather some of the photos that Antoinette and I took while we were at her parent’s hacienda. It became surreal when I thought of the time I was in Barcelona, Spain three years ago.

THE PAST

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June, 2009, Barcelona, Spain

W hen I arrived at the airport in Barcelona, Spain, the weather was fairly warm. It was summer and I am sure I am going to be enjoying my stay in Spain. It was already evening and so ready to head to the hotel after those long hours of flight. I was very exhausted.

When I arrived at the hotel, I checked in, and went directly to my room. I rested for a bit and decided to take a quick hot shower before I hit the sack. Well, the time difference, of course, I couldn’t really fall asleep right away. I decided to go downstairs to ask the receptionist if there’s any nearby café, which was not far from the hotel, she said.

I woke-up around 10:30 in the morning, the following day. I think I only had like five hour of sleep. I didn’t mind if I only slept that long. I wanted to explore the area and perhaps meet some new people along the way. I decided to check out the café that was recommended to me by the receptionist at the hotel. I’ll be darn; I forgot my pocket Spanish dictionary. I guess I’ll do my best to communicate with these people here. I was sweating a bit probably because I didn’t want to embarrass myself. What else is new for me?

(Flashback). I remember when I embarrass myself to one of my potential dates that I suppose to have with and forgot the day I suppose to have a date with her. It’s probably not the same concept, but I felt it’s close enough.

I finally got seated finally after thirty minute wait for the next table to be available. This waitress approaches me and asks what drink I want to order. All I could say to her, café por favor (coffee, please). Okay, I am safe there and know a bit of Spanish words. Not too shabby, right (Vanessa thinking). When it was time for me to order some food, it felt like this camera was zooming at me. She was speaking so fast, and I was like, oh, boy, should I just like do some body language to what I want from the menu. If I wanted chicken, should croak like a chicken. That would be dumb. Oh, crap!!!!! To make myself feel at ease, I told the waitress, un momento, por favor. At least I know how to say, One moment, please in Spanish. I guess what she said after I said that, I’ll come back you later when you decide what you want to order (Vanessa interpreting with her own skill of Spanish). Well, that’s what I was thinking. Perhaps what she said, What an idiot, you went to Spain and don’t even know how to speak Spanish. A disgrace. I wanted to leave and finish my coffee. But the waitress came back about three minutes later. Wow, she didn’t want to waste any time.

I felt like this little person in this big room being interrogated. The waitress asks me again what I wanted to order. When I looked up, this beautiful woman was standing by the table in front of me and said, I think you need some help here. How did you ever guess?

I asked her if she wanted to join me. I would love to, but I am having breakfast with my friend there. Oh, your boyfriend? Not my boyfriend, just a friend. I don’t think either one of us are interested with each other. He’s gay and as for me, another story. I smiled at her. She replied, Maybe some other time or better yet, you can tell me which hotel you are staying at. If you don’t mind. I don’t mind at all. By the way, what’s your name? My name is Antoinette and yours? My name is Vanessa.

After I was done eating breakfast, I decided to stroll around the area. Few hours later, I went back to my room and took a nap. As soon as I woke up from my nap, the telephone rang and it was the receptionist downstairs. I was surprise when I saw Antoinette by her visit. This must be my lucky day. She came over to ask me if I wanted to go out dancing. I was totally surprised from her invitation. I took that chance and thinking to myself, Wow, she’s actually has some interest in me. I hope this evening won’t be a disappointment not like few my other dates that I’ve had in the U.S., which it was more a disaster than disappointing. I was trying to think to have some positive outcome. Can you really blame me?

Since, I still have some hours to chill until I meet Antoinette at the club; I still have some time to get ready. What the hell am I going to wear? I suddenly got disoriented. So I went to the balcony and just pray. Please God, let this evening will be alright. I went back inside the room after praying and already have something plan out what I should wear for the evening just to impress Antoinette. I got nervous for the next ten minutes before I was heading out in my room. I took a deep breath and said to myself, You’re going to be okay, Vanessa?

I met Antoinette outside the club. I was breathless by the time I got to the club after walking two long blocks from the hotel. When I saw Antoinette looking flawless, I was speechless. She had her wavy long hair pulled back wearing this tight black dress. She looks astonishingly beautiful.

We went to get some dessert first before we head inside the club. She took me to one of her favorite restaurants in the area and ordered some cheesecakes and cup of tea and coffee. We shared some intimate conversation while having our desserts. Nothing like, I want to marry you tomorrow or let’s start a family. I wish though. Her demeanor was just amazing. The way she was talking, I was drawn to her. Was I falling for her? My goodness, what I am saying here. I just met her. Get a hold of yourself Vanessa. (Vanessa thinking this in her head while talking to Antoinette).

While we were heading back to the club, this man came up to Antoinette and told her how beautiful she was. Antoinette just ignored him as we both kept on walking. She stared at me and gave me this sweetest smile. I almost melt. What was that smile for, I asked? Oh, nothing, she said.

As soon as we were inside the club, Antoinette introduced me to her friend, Jeanne. Vanessa, Jeanne is my father’s secretary. We’ve known each other for about fifteen years now. Oh, Jeanne is married and has two lovely boys. I was like, YES, that’s not her date or girlfriend. I’ve had that big smile on my face. Okay, I probably have a chance with her then (Geez baby steps). Did you say something Vanessa? Oh, nothing Antoinette.

It was almost 1:00 in the morning and my feet were getting tired after all that dancing with Antoinette. The club was pretty much a mixture with straight, gays, or whatever you might consider yourself. But who cares? All I could think of that I was having a good time with Antoinette.

As soon as I got in my room, I stared out the window thinking how lovely Antoinette looks this evening. At first, I thought, my vacation in Spain, I would be just enjoying by myself, but I guess you just never know what you can expect when you at least expected.

The following morning, the first thing came to my mind was Antoinette. I wasn’t even thinking about anything, not even my work or my friends or not even me. Being self-centered sometimes.

After I was done showering, the phone rang in my room. It was the receptionist. As I answered the phone, she said, there’s someone downstairs waiting for me. As I got downstairs, it was Antoinette waiting for me. I was a bit shock. I asked her why she was doing at the hotel. I am here if you don’t mind to come with me? (Antoinette’s responds). Where? I asked. I am inviting you if you want to come and check out this hacienda my parents’ own. It’s like hour drive depends on the traffic, it might take longer. That’s only if you don’t have any plans for today? No plans today. Well, let me just grab my bags in my room. (Vanessa’s responds).

It probably took us more than an hour to reach the hacienda due to some heavy road construction. The beautiful view of the vineyard was so surreal. It was also so serene and romantic in most part.

As I got off the car, Antoinette grabbed my hand and glanced at me with such kindness I saw in her eyes. All I could think for that moment is I wanted to kiss her soft lips. Just thinking about that, she might slap me or something. (Vanessa’s thinking). Beside all this thoughts about her, she might not be interested in me. She’s probably just being nice to me because I was alone. I think? Well, let’s see.

As I glanced at her again, I felt my heart pounding hundred miles per second. I felt I was going to faint in front of her. But I didn’t want to let her notice of the way I was staring at her. I didn’t want to give her that idea that I was interested. Who am I kidding? Maybe I was just making a fool of myself.

She brought this picnic basket with a bottle of red wine. She spread this blanket while I was trying to open the wine bottle. I poured some red wine to the glass while Antoinette was preparing some cheese and crackers that she brought. I was enticed towards her plan that day for us.

For the first time, I was speechless when Antoinette asked me, what I thought of her. Do you really want to know how I truly think of you? When I first saw you at the café, I was stun of your beauty. I never thought someone like would ever come up to my table and help me with my order. Why is that? I don’t know, Antoinette. Well, Vanessa, when I saw you at the café, I told my friend, Geoffrey, it seems you were having such a hard time ordering something. So, my friend, Geoffrey dared me to go to your table. That’s what I did. So, what you’re saying it was just a dare not an actual way for you to come to me in anyway. It’s not like that, okay. I wanted to. I knew when I saw you at the café; I asked myself, I better take that chance. If I didn’t, we won’t be here at the hacienda, right. Worse yet, maybe you’ll still be at that café trying to order something. (Vanessa smiles at her). True Antoinette. Actually when I saw you at the café, something about you fascinated me. I really don’t know how to explain to you without being so blunt about it. I thank God I did that and I am not regretting one bit. (Antoinette’s responds).

(Vanessa got really quiet thinking what she’s going to say to her as she pauses). Antoinette, I am flattered to what you just said. When I saw you at the café, not to be judgmental, I thought that guy that you were with was either your husband or a boyfriend. (She giggles). Oh, no. He is like a brother to me. Like how Jeanne is to me, a sister. We are like family.

Antoinette, if you don’t mind me to ask you this personal question. I don’t mind. You’re gay? Oh (She pauses). I don’t know if I am. I think I am. All I know is I am always been attracted to women. Most of my life, I’ve been involved with men. I was even engaged once with this man, but came to find out he was married. I see. But I never have been in a relationship with a woman not until. Not until what? Never mind Vanessa.

Can I be honest with you, Vanessa? Of course, you can Antoinette. This feeling that has been bothering me when I first met you at the café and after we went out dancing. When I got home, I wanted to call the hotel and asked you if I could come over, and maybe spend the evening with you. I can’t give you one good reason that I couldn’t do that. Maybe I was in denial with my emotion. It was strange for me because I never felt this way before, especially to a woman. Well, I thought when we first met at the café; you told me that you’re gay. I did, huh. Maybe I wanted to get your attention. So you’re gay, right? I can’t deny Vanessa, I am. I think I finally unfold all those lies that I’ve been hiding for so many years. Then Geoffrey said something to me that I have to set myself free and stop being in denial.

I even called my friend, Geoffrey. The advice he gave me, listen to what your heart is telling you. So what is your heart telling you now, Antoinette? What my heart is telling me that I am glad I went to the hotel to ask to come with me to the hacienda and finally tell you how I truly feel. Even though we just met, I know. But all I could think of was you. Call me crazy, Vanessa. Antoinette, I am so relief. Honestly, I feel the same about you. Last night after we went out dancing, I did ask whether I was falling for you. Whether if you’re actually gay? Whether if you were just being nice to me? I was bothered with these thoughts. So what do we do now? I guess Vanessa we both just have to take it slow. I know you’re only vacationing here but I hope we make the best of it.

When I gazed into her eyes, our bodies got closer as our lips locked. I felt the tenderness of her kiss. I was so drawn to her. I felt the warmth of her body next to mine. We covered our naked bodies under the blanket and started making love. I stroke myself against her as I held her hands. It was passion. It was love. It felt the world stood still while I was laying my naked body with this beautiful woman. I didn’t want the day to be over. I wanted to make love to her over and over. I was ready to love her for the rest of my life. I felt she was already part of me. That might sound I was rushing myself, but I felt my heart was telling something otherwise.

It was 7:00 in the evening when she dropped me off at the hotel. I was pretty tired from the drive. I rested for a bit and hit the shower to freshen up for the evening. While I was in the shower, I had this big smile on my face thinking about Antoinette. I start to fantasize about her while I was taking my shower, kissing her endlessly with so much passion anticipating for it to happen between us again. Could I only be that I am infatuated with her? I hope not. I hope this is loved what I am feeling inside. Real love.

As I got out of the shower, I heard a knock at my door. When I opened the door, it was Antoinette. She walked right in without saying a word to me. I asked her what she was doing here. She replied, oh, I just want to come and surprise you. I hope I am not imposing? Not at all, Antoinette. You just took me by surprise. Surprise? Don’t be okay. I am here to tell you to your face exactly what I’ve been feeling. So don’t be alarm to what I am going to tell you. I know I’ve already told you earlier while we were at the hacienda, but you’re probably thinking that I was not being truthful or honest with you.

As what I told you while we were at the hacienda about the dare and no regret that I did what I have to do to get to you. The truth is when I first saw you at the café; I did find you very attractive. I know this might sound crazy, especially we only just met yesterday. But (pauses). What I am trying to tell you that I am crazy about you. I am so crazy about you that I can’t even think of anything else but you. I’ve had the most amazing time when we made love and I felt safe. I never felt that way before. It seems we were the only two people in this world, Vanessa.

I was completely stoned from her words. I didn’t know what to say to her. Again, I just had that big smile on my face. I took her into my arms while my hands touch her flawless face. I kissed her forehead while my hands start to come down to hold her body next to mine. I took her dress off while I was kissing her lips and neck to tease her anxiety to what she’s probably waiting for. I couldn’t wait another minute; I took her to my bed started making love to her again.

Two hours passed, our bodies were sweating. I glanced at her and told her that I was really falling for her. I know I couldn’t fall too hard. (Vanessa thinking), since I was only going to be in Spain for two weeks. I couldn’t. But I couldn’t help to what I was feeling. I never met anyone like her; so beautiful inside and out. What more can a woman ask for? She was just perfect for me in my heart and mind.

The next morning, I felt so alive knowing that she was beside me. I turned my head; I just kept staring at her while she was still sleeping. Her eyes opened up and turned to me and gave me a good morning kiss.

It was almost 10:00 in the morning when we both got ready. We decided to go the café and to have some breakfast there. What a small world, Antoinette said. Why is that? This is the exact place and time when we first met. Here we are again. It feels like a déjà vu. It seems this is our destiny to meet accidentally here at the cafe. What do you think? I think every person is destined to be with someone who becomes their true love. True love? Yes, true love, Antoinette. Do you believe in true love? I think true love to me is just a fantasy. So I really don’t believe it. What about yourself? (Vanessa changed the subject). So I thought for that moment, Antoinette was only falling for me but not really serious about me. So Antoinette, are you working tomorrow? I have no choice not unless you want to do something after I get off from work. (Antoinette’s responds). Actually Antoinette, remember the woman who works at the hotel. Well, she asked me if I want to have dinner with her tomorrow night and I said, yes. You mean that woman with dark brown hair who looks like she’s only eighteen. Well, yeah. She’s actually thirty years old, I asked. I see. Well, have a good time then Vanessa. (Antoinette suddenly got really quiet). (Vanessa thinking in her head) Was I being insensitive? I am only going to be here for just two weeks. Is Antoinette really my true love? Is she? I was confused. I know my feeling for