American Men SUCK! America's Two Favorite Rednecks Declare WAR on American Women
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About this ebook
THEY’RE BACK! America’s two favorite rednecks, “Whiskey” Dick Tomahawk and Elrod “Ammo” Bodean are back with a sequel to their bestselling American Women SUCK! book.
Yep, they’re equal opportunity abusers. American women already got down on the knees and endured their witty, good ol’ boy charms, observations, and rants. Time for men to step up, bend over, and take it like a man in their new book... American Men SUCK!
If you’re a woman... enjoy. We put into words the types of guys you unfortunately have to deal with. If you’re a pathetic guy, don’t pick up this book unless you wanna cry like an 8-year old Elrod did when his Uncle Deryl would spit chewing tobacco juice at him.
Men, this is your wakeup call. You can be an uglier, fatter, and poorer version of a
perpetual man-boy like Ashton Kutcher playing video games or you can be a real man like Clint Eastwood.
Class is now in session!
Here’s the lowdown on “Whiskey” Dick Tomahawk and Elrod “Ammo” Bodean:
* Dick is such a man’s man that when he was 23, he had 3 girlfriends due to him winning Cobb County’s prestigious businessman of the year award. His lemonade stand thrived in an economically disadvantaged area of trailer parks... raking in $23 a day (yep, $8,000 a year). This accomplishment and all the gold-digger women it drowned Dick in had self-taught him to become one of the foremost experts on male-female relationship dynamics.
* Growing up, Elrod developed a passion for playing naked Twister with his dog Rufus. Fate made him the youngest animal rights community activist in the world by founding the non-profit “Rufus Stop Tickling my AZZ with your Tail.” As you expect, women flock to Elrod due to his love of dogs and he’ll share with you his expertise in how he juggled women to get them hot and bothered.
* Although Dick claims to be smarter with his 92 IQ, Elrod points out he was breastfed until he was 9 years old... and everyone knows kids that were breastfed are smarter.
* Elrod learned a lot about how to pick up women out on the street from his dog Rufus. He found it was acceptable to go up to a woman and lick her... and even hump her leg in public. There’s no shame and it always gets a positive reaction.
* When Dick wants to get a girl fast, he goes to this patented technique... he drags the trailer parks in his 1979 Trans Am (with T-tops) wearing an eye patch and a Santa hat. This alpha male supreme confidence brings the girls to Dick like bees to honey.
Newspapers and magazines say this about 'em:
* “Dick is so big with the women of Sydney, Australia due to his lady charms and screechy southern accent, he’ll be honored with a street in his name... Dick Avenue.” Sydney Post Gazette (8/7/11)
* “Good, clean, raunchy fun poked at men who can’t get women if their lives depended on it.” Video Gamers Daily (November 2011 issue)
* “Elrod Bodean brilliantly and courageously brings respect and honor to the men of Louisiana through his world renown books.” Bayou Beacon Daily (9/2/11)
* “Dick is the kind of guy most women would like to eat a hot dog with in bed. He is the most romantic redneck in the world.” Little Rock Redneck Gazette (3/23/10)
* “Love him or hate him in the USA, the women of Tijuana call Elrod “el rod” for a reason. Tijuana Post Sentinel (10/8/11)
Here’s what’s up...
You might love American Men SUCK! or you might hate it. But you won’t be able to put it down. It sucks you in, grabs men by the throat and shakes some sense into them. For women, it strokes their hips with wit and charm while caressing the underside of their breasts with redneck truths about men so women fall instantly in love with DICK and Elrod.
Bottom line?
American Men SUCK! and it’s time for both men and women to understand why and how this happened. And you get this packed into a book using a new style of writing called “infotainment” by America’s 2 favorite rednecks, “Whiskey” Dic
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