Dying To Exist
By K. M. Ryan
()
About this ebook
"Dying To Exist" offers 104 uplifting stories of women and men who planned on aborting their babies when they found out they were pregnant but changed their minds and had them.
These true, heartwarming and inspiring stories share how the abortions had been planned but were not carried through; all had considered abortions but changed their minds.
Some women decided on abortions quickly due to an unplanned teenage pregnancy while others thought about it for a while or were pressured into it. Some told close friends and families about their pregnancies when they first discovered they were pregnant; others didn't tell anyone or told only one person - the father, a parent or friend.
Some agonized over whether to go through with an abortion due to their beliefs while others considered abortion because they did not have the financial resources to raise a child. Still others weighed both physical and psychological effects of abortion as they struggled with thoughts of terminating their pregnancies.
You'll read stories of mothers and fathers who live with the regret, shame and guilt of considering abortion. Some parents who chose not to abort say their babies are gifts from God or that having their babies was something that was meant to be.
All look at their babies today and say how they have turned into the biggest blessings of their lives. They all knew their lives would change if they had an abortion - and if they did not have an abortion.
You'll read touching stories from women who had support from their families and the fathers, and others who did not. While most of the mothers and fathers chose to raise their babies, some decided on giving up baby for adoption.
These moving and poignant real-life stories are comforting and encouraging. They speak of women and men who do not regret having their babies and who feel they could never have lived with themselves if they had gone through with the abortions.
All feel that having their babies has given them a new life's purpose and that their lives are forever changed by their children's births.
We know you'll be filled with inspiration, comfort and hope as you read about mothers and fathers who now have a new outlook on pregnancy and abortion; who now believe that life and babies are beautiful gifts.
"Dying To Exist" is good for crisis pregnancy centers, abortion alternative centers, counselors, psychologists, pastors, family and friends of women and men facing unexpected pregnancies, and anyone who finds themselves with an unplanned pregnancy and isn't sure what to do or where to turn.
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Dying To Exist - K. M. Ryan
Introduction
Dying To Exist
offers uplifting stories of women and men who wanted to abort their babies when they found out they were pregnant; however, all of the women and men in these stories chose to continue their pregnancies and not terminate them.
These true, heartwarming and inspiring stories from 104 men and women tell of how they decided on abortion - but then in some instances - circumstances beyond their control prevented the abortions from occurring.
Some expectant mothers wanted an abortion right away while others thought about it. Other mothers were pressured into seeking out abortions.
Some expectant mothers chose to tell their close friends and families about their pregnancies when they first discovered they were pregnant; others either didn't tell anyone or told one person - the father, one parent or a friend.
Other mothers considered their morals and beliefs while agonizing over whether to go through with an abortion. Still others considered abortion because they felt they could not afford to raise a child.
Some future mothers considered both the physical and psychological effects of abortion while others were determined to go through with the abortion no matter what the cost. Some fathers offered to pay for the abortion partially or fully.
Most of the mothers - and fathers - who decided not to have an abortion speak of regretting the abortions they almost had and of guilt they have today for even considering abortion.
Some mothers who decided not to go through with the abortion saw their babies as gifts from God while others said they felt it was just meant to be to have their baby.
Some of the women had support from their families and the fathers, while others did not. However, most of the grandparents came around once the baby was born.
A few of the mothers chose adoption, but most of them chose to keep - and raise - their babies on their own.
Many of the mothers and fathers say they look at their babies now and feel so much shame and guilt for even thinking about aborting them.
Their babies turned into the biggest blessings of their lives, and they don't know what they would do without them.
All of the women and men realized once they decided not to have an abortion there was no going back. They realized their lives would change if they had an abortion - and would change if they did not have one.
There are approximately three million unplanned pregnancies each year in the United States and 15.8% unplanned pregnancies worldwide each year.
Of these three million unexpected pregnancies in the U.S., approximately 25% of these babies are unwanted.
Women with unplanned pregnancies can suffer from depression during - and after - their pregnancies. This could account for one of the reasons some women seek out an abortion to terminate their unwanted pregnancies.
It is estimated that over 40 million abortions (the removal of the fetus from the uterus which results in the death of the fetus) are performed all over the world each year.
Approximately 1,200,000 abortions are performed yearly in the U.S. About 92% of abortions are due to unexpected pregnancies.
Abortion has physical risks including infections, hemorrhaging, uterine and cervical abnormalities, and cancer. Some abortions result in death.
Psychological effects include regret, anxiety, sleep disturbances, guilt, emotional problems, relationship problems and substance abuse.
Some of these effects were experienced by the women and men who share their stories - not because they aborted - but because they had thought about aborting their babies.
There are approximately 800,000 teenage pregnancies each year in the US; 80% are unplanned. Approximately 33% of teen pregnancies in the age range of 15 - 19 years old end in abortion.
The U.S. teenage pregnancy rates are a lot higher than teenage pregnancy rates worldwide - although they have declined since 1991.
Adoption, on the other hand, is a more positive experience with a happier ending. Approximately 2% of the babies born each year in the U.S. are put up for adoption.
Women and men in college, who give their babies up for adoption, are able to continue their education. The birth parents knew they could not provide for their babies - emotionally, physically or financially - the way they wanted to. They realized that adoptive parents could give these children a better life.
Some single expectant mothers thought it would be best to give their babies a two-parent home. They felt it was important for their babies to have a father in their lives.
Some choose open adoptions - where the birth mother - and birth father - choose their baby's adoptive parents. An open adoption allows the birth parents to be involved in their baby's life as he or she grows up.
Most of the respondents speak of not having regrets at having their babies. They felt they could have never lived with themselves if they had gone through with an abortion.
While some say it hasn't been easy raising a child, they feel that nothing compares to the love that a mother has for their child.
Some mothers feel that raising their babies has given them a new sense of purpose in life. Some believe that God put their babies in their lives for a reason.
All the mothers and fathers who share their stories are forever changed by the birth of their children. All say they wouldn't trade parenthood for anything.
We know you will be filled with inspiration, comfort and hope as you read these stories from people who have a new outlook on pregnancy and abortion; and who now believe that life - and babies - are beautiful gifts.
Dying To Exist
is good reading for crisis pregnancy centers, abortion alternative centers, counselors, psychologists, pastors, friends and family of women and men facing unexpected pregnancies, and anyone who finds themselves with an unplanned pregnancy and isn't sure what to do or where to turn.
Chapter 1
Chuck
My girlfriend and I found ourselves unexpectedly pregnant. We were still in high school. Abortion did cross our minds, but then we decided she would have the baby, and we'd put it up for adoption.
We could not deny the right for our child to live a life. I'm glad we did not go through with an abortion and kill our own child. Adoption was the right choice for us.
Josh
Two years ago my girlfriend and I had a major fight. We split up for a month. Then she called me and told me that she was pregnant. We were both juniors in college.
I was enjoying my college life. Partying and just being a college student. I was carefree and was just recently single. I told my girlfriend that she needed to get an abortion. There was no changing my mind. I didn't want a kid.
She told me that she would never have an abortion. I told her not to call me again, and we didn't speak for a while. 7 ½ months later, my beautiful daughter was born.
My ex-girlfriend texted me to tell me that she was in the hospital in labor. We had spoken probably only 3 or 4 times in all those months. I was still adamant that I did not want this child in my life.
I felt it had been her decision, not mine, to have this baby, so I was not going to support her. I did not want to even know this baby.
But once I got the text that she was going to have the baby, something changed in me. I decided to at least show up to the hospital.
When my daughter was born, I changed. I don't know how else to describe it. Something in me changed. My ex-girlfriend and I started talking and became friends.
We decided to make up for the sake of our child. When our daughter was 6 months old, I proposed. We are now happily married.
Our daughter is now 15 months old and the love of my life. My life has changed because of her.
There is nothing I wouldn't do for this baby. I often ask God for forgiveness for wanting to abort this child.
David
My girlfriend and I had been going out for a while when we had an unplanned pregnancy situation. There was no doubt in my mind I wanted her to have an abortion.
I tried many times to talk her into it. We had many fights about it, but she refused to schedule an abortion appointment.
At the time, I was very angry at her. I considered leaving her. But she still stood her ground and told me she was having our child. And keeping it.
Looking back, I am so thankful that she did have our daughter. I can't imagine her not being in our lives.
What I didn't realize when I first found out she was pregnant - but what I have learned - is that there is an actual living human being growing inside. I pictured it as just a blob that really wasn't a life. But that's not true. The fetus is alive and growing.
After 9 months, out comes this little baby, a real living person, who grows up into adulthood. Our daughter is the joy of my life.
To those couples considering abortion, don't look at it right now. Look into the future five or ten years and picture this very, very tiny being as an actual person that is in your lives.
Think about your living child and ask yourselves if you could abort now what that child will be in a few years.
Matthew
My girlfriend is two months pregnant. We didn't plan this. We were dumb and had unprotected sex. Guess we thought it could never happen to us.
She took a home pregnancy test a few weeks ago, and it confirmed the pregnancy.
While I wasn't overjoyed at first, I've come to accept the fact that she's carrying my child. I want her to have the baby. I love my girlfriend and will be there for both her and the baby.
My girlfriend doesn't feel the same way. She doesn't want this baby. She blames me for getting her pregnant.
We went to her doctor's appointment together. They did another pregnancy test to confirm the pregnancy.
My girlfriend asked about abortion, and the doctor said there were clinics that would perform an abortion if that's what we wanted. But it's not what I want.
I want to be a father. I want to be responsible for our actions which resulted in this pregnancy but she doesn't understand that.
I asked my girlfriend to marry me, but she hasn't said yes. I realize that I can't force her to keep the baby, and that scares me. I hope she has a change of heart and realizes abortion is not the answer.
Chapter 2
Cara
My boyfriend and I got pregnant! I was happy, he wasn't. I told him we were expecting a baby thinking everything was okay. He then told me that he had someone else, was leaving me and moving in with her. Talk about a surprise!
So I went to see a doctor, and because I was near the limit that I could have an abortion, she sent me to the hospital for pre-abortion tests. I had to make major life changing decisions very,