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455: Unsupportive Midwife with Traumatic Experience Leading to a Hospital Transfer and Peaceful Birth with Lillie Cooke (DIAH Classic)

455: Unsupportive Midwife with Traumatic Experience Leading to a Hospital Transfer and Peaceful Birth with Lillie Cooke (DIAH Classic)

FromDoing It At Home - The Home Birth Podcast


455: Unsupportive Midwife with Traumatic Experience Leading to a Hospital Transfer and Peaceful Birth with Lillie Cooke (DIAH Classic)

FromDoing It At Home - The Home Birth Podcast

ratings:
Length:
50 minutes
Released:
Sep 26, 2023
Format:
Podcast episode

Description

Is one way to birth “better” than another?
Sometimes there are misconceptions and unhealthy conversations floating about in the birth community around natural vs. medicated birth or hospital vs. home. That one is better than the other or there’s a sense of superiority or higher moral code to choose one over the other. And competition comes in as a factor, like there is something to prove or defy.
This topic is relevant for the conversation we have today with Lillie Cooke, sharing her birth story with us. Lillie and her husband Josh planned for a home birth with their first child, son Judah. Along the way towards planning for the birth, Lillie noticed little things that indicated she wasn’t really connecting deeply with her midwife. There was also a big fear of going to the hospital, seeking to avoid that at all costs. This fear stemmed from, as Lillie put it “hearing terrible hospital stories and only fairy tale home birth stories from the homebirth community.”
Labor began at 40 weeks and 6 days. After laboring for 4 days, things started to feel chaotic and the midwife’s hands-off approach wasn’t very helpful for what Lillie needed. Lillie made the choice to transfer because of pain and exhaustion. What helped make the transfer a less fearful event was the great experience she had with the staff there. They were respectful and she felt empowered, calm and peaceful. 
Some words from Lillie: “I ended up having so much better care and such a peaceful birth. The OB was more of a midwife than my own midwife! We ended up with a peaceful vaginal delivery. She also didn’t check on me until 3 weeks after my birth. After I just felt abandoned and not welcome in the home birth community. I felt the one in our area was not very inclusive to all births and made it feel like you didn’t have a good enough or “superior” birth if it wasn’t at home. My experience woke me up from the tunnel vision I had before from being in that community and showed me that none of that was true. That’s why I love this podcast because it is the only homebirth podcast that is inclusive with ALL births and shows the pros AND cons of homebirth. I want to share my story to other first time mamas so they have a better perspective and know there is no superior way or place to birth despite what people promote. And there are good stories and traumatic stories at home just like at the hospital. But no one lets people come on and talk about that with home births and that’s a shame. Everyone’s experience is so powerful. Birth is so powerful. I've learned a lot from my first birth and would just love to share my story and my thoughts surrounding it.” 
And - Lillie is currently pregnant with her second child. What birth plan are they creating? Listen in to find out!
Topics we cover in this episode: Business of Being Born, Ina May Gaskin, relationship with your midwife, choosing a care provider that’s best for you, Miles Circuit, hospital transfer, epidural

Links From The Episode:
The Miles Circuit: http://www.milescircuit.com/


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Released:
Sep 26, 2023
Format:
Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Doing It At Home is a weekly podcast about home birth and our decision to go from a traditional hospital birth with an OBGYN to a natural birth at home with midwives. This is a raw and honest show that explores homebirth from every angle. We talk about the fears and judgements thrown at you when you choose home birth. We share resources that we found tremendously helpful for understanding our birthing options. We confess the magic and craziness in preparing for pregnancy, home birth, motherhood and fatherhood. We talk about having sex while pregnant and maintaining your connection and intimacy as a couple. We reveal how to stay centered and not lose yourself through pregnancy, and tons more! This show is all about adding an empowered conversation to the topic of home birth and natural birth, while keeping it real, grounded and fun. So strap in and join us as we’re doing it at home!