Sister Lilian’s Babycare Companion

By Lilian Paramor

Sister Lilian is South Africa’s loved and trusted babycare expert. In this updated edition of her highly acclaimed Babycare Companion, she equips new parents with facts and sensible advice on, what to expect in your baby’s first year, learn to trust yourself as a parent, common concerns – from colic and childhood diseases to feeding and sleeping problems, how to establish a routine, breast- and bottle feeding and weaning, teething, toilet training, developmental milestones, discipline, first foods for babies and toddlers – and yummy meal ideas, health basics, including first aid and homeopathic remedies, travelling with children and tips for working parents.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Human & Rousseau
• Release date: Aug 24, 2015
• ISBN: 9780798159036

Lilian Paramor

Lilian Paramor (known as Sister Lilian) holds a B.Nursing degree from the University of Stellenbosch and is a qualified and registered nurse and midwife. She is also a qualified reflexologist and a natural health practitioner with 30 years’ experience, and is South Africa’s leading pregnancy and parenting advisor. She is well-known in both the maternity professional world as well as in the parenting community in South Africa. Her trademarks are her compassion, credibility and innovation. She further believes strongly in the approach of ‘first do no harm’ and has operated under the slogan with nature, knowledge and experience throughout her career. She is the author of several books.

Book preview

Sister Lilian’s

Babycare

companion

Human & Rousseau

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Author’s Introduction

Parenthood can seem a daunting prospect. You may feel a little apprehensive about becoming a parent; after all, there’s no going back once you have brought a new little being into the world. Looking on the bright side more often, however, and taking more time to delight in the many positive moments of parenting, will all make it seem a lot less challenging. We live in a time of great change. Society has undergone a radical transformation, and situations and attitudes are no longer the same as they were in our parents’ day. Consider just some of these developments:

•The need for both parents to work outside the home

•The lack of immediate support to hand

•The many external influences to which our children are subject because we no longer live in close-knit communities

•The discipline dilemmas of an age when rigid authoritarianism is frowned upon, yet liberalism seems to backfire.

All this sounds terribly theoretical, but what it boils down to is parents being confronted on a daily basis with worries, concerns and workloads that are often beyond the reasonable ability of any person. What do you do if your little one is ill and the crèche doesn’t take sick children, or you have a pressing work engagement and granny is in another city? How do you react if you are a single parent and the other parent assumes ‘Father Christmas’ status, leaving you with a discipline problem after every visit? Will you ever survive the broken nights and the pressure the clinic sister, your mom and mom-in-law are putting on you to get your child sleeping through in his or her own room? Is there even the remotest chance that you will have any semblance of a good relationship with your partner ever again?

In the face of such an overwhelmingly challenging landscape, there is only one solution: to come up with creative, lateral thinking, innovative and sometimes downright old-fashioned ideas. If you, Mom and Dad, are willing to do this, I can assure you that the process will become a great deal less painful, and simultaneously the happiness that follows will fuel your energy levels and remain with you as a legacy of joy and an abundant source of wonderful memories of this special phase in your life.

So, don’t wish the young years past, and don’t try to sidestep every possible nuance of parenting. Instead, remind yourself of the many, many others who have survived the experience. Follow the advice suggested in this guide, to help you deal happily with parenting challenges, from babyhood until well into the toddler years.

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Sister Lilian

One

Mother and Baby’s First Year in Broad Focus

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The First Two Weeks

It is quite normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious in the early days of life with a baby. This is a challenging job but one that you will manage well if you listen to that little inner voice drawing on age-old wisdom and maternal instinct. Soon things will settle down and you will not be able to imagine life without your baby!

DAY ONE

The first 24 hours of life with a baby is a momentous and magical time. All you want to do is gaze at and touch this little being, drinking in every detail, watching in fascination as he or she unfolds and smoothes out, the skin becoming perfect and unmottled. Baby will open her eyes and gaze right back at you if the lights are not too bright. You might well feel on a hormonal high, quite unable to sleep, although that is all you thought you’d be able to do after the birth! Take each moment as it comes, rest with Baby tucked up close and congratulate yourself on a task well done.

About Baby

•Baby’s genitals and breasts are often swollen for a week or so after birth. This is no reason for concern but simply a reaction to the hormones of pregnancy.

•Baby will either sleep a lot or look around in puzzlement at the big wide world today.

•Baby will pass sticky green-black stools a few times – this is the meconium that has filled the bowel during pregnancy. It is best cleaned using baby oil first and then washing the buttocks with soapy water.

•Unless you or Baby are not well, rooming-in from the first moment helps you to understand your baby far better.

Nursing

BOY OR GIRL?

To avoid the cumbersome ‘he or she’ and ‘his or her’ in every instance to acknowledge that you child may be of either sex, ‘he’ and ‘she’ will be used alternately throughout the different sections of this book.

•Put Baby to breast as soon as possible after birth to ensure the best possible start to breastfeeding – if this is done in the first two hours, all future feeds will be easier.

•Express a drop or two of milk so the Baby can smell where to latch onto.

•Ensure that Baby latches on well to prevent sore nipples. Hold her body so that she faces you – not on her back with her neck having to strain at an angle to latch. Touch her lips and cheeks with your nipple to elicit the rooting reflex, and pull down on her chin with your finger so that her mouth opens wide enough.

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•The first few sucks may be painful but should pass soon and then be totally painless. If sucking remains painful, place your finger in the corner of the mouth and twist to break suction, then reposition Baby.

•Do not time feeds but allow Baby to suck as long as there is no pain and you notice strong rhythmic movements of the jaws and hear swallowing sounds.

•Baby might suck frequently or seldom today. This depends on many factors like medication during labour, length of labour and size of Baby.

•Do not offer bottles of water or formula unless medically necessary (for example, the baby of a diabetic mom) and ask for a convincing explanation if you are advised to supplement feed, as this can alter the successful outcome of nursing.

•Check the breastfeeding section for more detailed early nursing advice.

Tips for Mom

•Rest often today but wiggle your toes and feet to promote circulation.

•Bath or shower some time after the birth and wear a pretty nightgown to help you feel on top of the world.

•Take Rescue Birth & Recovery tablets to speed healing and Arnica D6 homeopathic tablets every two hours today to reduce swelling after vaginal and Caesarean birth.

•For the first day or two wear a newborn disposable nappy or a special postnatal sanitary towel inside firm, comfortable briefs to cope with lochia, the bleeding after birth.

•Expect contractions of your womb every time your baby starts feeding, for the first three days. These are a little painful, but do not last for the whole feed and serve the very useful purpose of contracting the womb to help reduce bleeding.

•When passing urine, sit on the toilet facing the cistern and pour over a jug of warm water to prevent burning.

•Use a bidet after visiting the toilet to prevent infection.

•Sit on a covered, semi-inflated swimming ring to reduce pressure on your perineum.

•After a Caesar, interlace your fingers and support your wound when coughing, laughing or moving to reduce discomfort.

DAY TWO

Baby will still be quiet today and you will feel tired, but deep sleep might continue to elude you. If you had your baby in a maternity clinic and are feeling well, you might even go home today. Daunting as this prospect may be, one often feels more relaxed at home and recovery and adjustment are easier. Wherever you are, take things slowly today. Baby focuses at about 25 to 30 cm, the perfect distance between being cradled at your breast and your face. He will still lie tightly curled and feel one with his environment, not sure where he ends and his mom or the world begins.

About Baby

•Clean Baby’s navel at each nappy change to prevent infection – use calendula lotion or surgical spirits on cotton wool and clean the clamp, the length of the cord and around the base. The cord will gradually dry and then you should clean the crevices of the navel with a cotton bud dipped in calendula.

•Baby may become a bit jaundiced today or tomorrow. If the bilirubin (yellow pigment) levels are very high, you might be advised to have phototherapy treatment in which your baby’s eyes are closed and her body is exposed to ultraviolet light, which breaks down the bilirubin more quickly. Feed Baby more frequently from the breast, as she becomes tired under the heat and sucks less. She will need plenty of fluids to help wash out the bilirubin. Exposing Baby to sunlight for five to ten minutes while protecting the eyes also works very well. This type of jaundice is not dangerous and can be treated at home, either under hired lights (with the help of a private midwife) or in the sun. Some clinics use wrap-around body light devices which is far better, or more desirable, and Baby is easier to handle.

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•If your baby is in need of special care you will feel quite sad today. Spend as much time as you can in the nursery or high-care unit and massage Baby’s feet and hands, or simply place your hand on his tummy. Speak and hum too.

•Nursing will be much the same as the first day: don’t restrict feeds, ensure correct latching and simply enjoy the experience.

•Handling Baby will be a little easier but do not worry if you still feel more thumbs than fingers.

Tips for Mom

•If your nipples are tender ask for help with latching. You can moisten a rooibos teabag with two teaspoons of boiling water, cool and place over the sore nipple to ease the pain – wear inside your breastpad until the next feed.

•Add a handful of coarse salt to your bath water today to protect against infection of the perineum.

•Wrap an icepack in a facecloth and place against your perineum to reduce swelling and pain.

•Continue with Rescue Birth & Recovery and Arnica D6 tablets but take three-hourly while awake.

•If your bowels do not move spontaneously, use a glycerine suppository today. After insertion into the anus, ignore the initial urge this causes, lie down and wait for ten to fifteen minutes to allow the suppository to dissolve. If you go to the loo immediately, the suppository will not have had time to melt.

DAY THREE

This is often the day reality hits home, tiredness strikes with a vengeance, your milk comes in and Baby wakes up and finds a voice. The ‘Third-day Blues’ is well known and will usually pass once you’ve had a good sleep, your hormones have stabilised and you have given vent to your emotions. If you had a good natural, active birth experience, you might feel physically well today. Your breasts will be tender but if you follow all the tips of the past days, they will not become engorged and excessively painful.

Tips to help with Baby

•Baby might splutter and choke as your milk comes in faster now. Simply let him come up for breath when necessary. Positing a bit of milk after a feed is quite normal and usually looks more than it is.

•Continue to feed as frequently as Baby needs today as this will help empty your breasts effectively. Do not time feeds or feed according to a schedule.

•If your breasts are too firm for Baby to suck from, warm them and express a little milk until the area around the nipples and areola is softer.

•You now need to wind Baby after a feed. Try one of these methods:

•Hold her over your shoulder and pat her back.

•Carry her in a baby sling after a feed.

•Hold her over your forearm facing forward with slight pressure on the tummy.

•Lay her over your lap with one leg raised so that her head is higher than her buttocks and pat her back.

•Sit her on your lap with her chin resting between your index finger and thumb and raising her left arm while pushing upwards on her back.

•If Baby has not broken wind within five to ten minutes, don’t bother to continue. Any burps later are not related to that feed.

Tips for Mom

•If you feel very emotional, take Rescue Emotion or the tissue salt Nat mur.

•If you had stitches they might be pulling tight. Exposing the area to the sun will dry, heal and soothe.

•Continue with Rescue Birth & Recovery and Arnica D6 tablets today too, but take three-hourly while awake.

•Unplug the phone today so that you can rest and Baby is not unsettled. Take it easy, you will soon be feeling better and coping well.

Engorgement:

•If your breasts are very hard and painful, cut a nipple-sized hole in the centre of two whole cabbage leaves, dip into boiling water for ten seconds, dry excess water and place over your breasts while still warm, to soothe and promote milk flow. Renew at the next and subsequent feeds.

•Warm cloths to your breasts, a shower or warm bath can also help.

•Do not restrict Baby’s sucking time so long as latching is correct, as your breasts need to be emptied. Engorgement will pass within two days.

DAYS FOUR, FIVE AND SIX

Keep pacing yourself through this time and think about how much you have already learnt about your baby. It’s early days yet and you might wonder how you’ll ever cope, but you will. Be gentle on yourself and your little one and do only what is essential.

About Baby

•Baby will pass frequent stools now and for the next few weeks, some just a splatter, others copious. Normal breastfeeding stools are soft, mustard in colour and seem to contain seeds.

•Some baby girls pass a bit of blood from the vagina. This is a reaction to the hormones she has been exposed to while in the womb and will soon clear.

•Keep cleaning the navel and stump of the cord. It will soon fall off or hang by a thread only, which you can snip.

•Passing wind to the top and bottom often, accompanied by red-faced crying, balled fists and pulled-up legs might make you think Baby has colic. Most colic is simply an expression of a baby who needs to feed more frequently or is a reaction to Mom’s anxiety, tiredness and inexperience. The very best you can do is to take things slowly for the next few days; see few visitors; do not allow Baby to be handled by too many people, as this may unsettle him; and know that very soon you will understand his signals well.

•Breast babies often need to feed with a few ‘courses’ each time – starters, main meal, pudding and sometimes even an after-dinner mint! Do not think you have insufficient milk. Between ‘courses’ Baby might need to nap for ten or fifteen minutes, have a nappy change or simply lie in your arms until his tummy is ready for the next course.

Tips for Mom

•Have one close, non-judgemental woman friend or relative stand by you and also accept help and support from your partner.

•Take Rescue Emotion homeopathic tablets at least 3 times a day.

•If your nipples are tender or you are very fair-skinned, sun your nipples twice a day for five to ten minutes, taking care not to burn.

•If nipple pain increases rather than improves, or you still struggle to latch Baby, call in a lactation consultant. It will be well worth your while and change the rest of your breastfeeding experience to a very positive one.

•Rest assured that you will not suffocate your baby if she sleeps with you in your bed. Dress her less warmly as she will be exposed to your body heat. Resting together may be just what you both need to see you through the next few days.

DAYS SEVEN, EIGHT AND NINE

Congratulations! Baby is a whole week old! He might well be making his presence felt in the home from now on. Babies are extremely self-absorbed and self-centred because that is all they know. They expect their parents to take the lead and guide them in the dos and don’ts of family life – quite a tall order when you, too, feel you need a guiding hand! It is time now to begin observing your baby for recurring patterns of behaviour and ways of self-expression – these will give you the clues on how best to handle each unique little individual.

About Baby

If your baby is fussy, constantly niggly, fretful and difficult to settle for any length of time, a number of time-tested tips may help:

•Ask your partner or close friend to take care of Baby for two hours after a feed. He will not be very hungry in so short a time, and a walk in the garden or around the neighbourhood while you rest might just break the vicious cycle.

•Bath with your baby. Play music in the background and nurse her until she calms, holding her cradled closely to you. and draping her with a facecloth that will absorb the warm bath water. Take care not to dunk her lower ear under the water, but do not worry about her sliding out of your arms – your instincts will prevent this.

•If she pushes away from the breast or turns her head rapidly from side to side, gently cradle her head in your hand and keep it in position at the breast.

•Break the tension in her arm if she pushes her body away by allowing her to grip onto your finger.

•Walk while latching Baby and keep moving until you notice the tension in her body ease and then you can sit and continue nursing.

•Give the homeopathic remedy Sister Lilian Chamomilla Tablets. Crush to a powder, add to a little milk or give directly with a clean finger 3 times daily to calm Baby naturally.

Tips for Mom

•Keep up your fluid intake, the best being water, rooibos tea or weak chamomile tea. Make a flask at a time and keep it handy when you nurse, as you will be thirstier then.

•Be aware of any pelvic pain, especially accompanied by a malodorous vaginal discharge and fever. This might signal retained placenta in the womb or an infection. Contact your midwife or doctor if these symptoms are present.

•Conserve your energy by using pre-frozen meals or gratefully accepting all help in this regard – this is one area where friends and family can be of great help to you.

•Spruce yourself up with a home pedicure while someone looks after Baby – you will feel all the better for it and it’s great being able to reach your toes again!

DAY TEN

This is a magical milestone on the parenting calendar and even though you may be tired and Baby still quite demanding, you somehow feel that you’re not quite such a novice anymore. Often women will want to venture out into the world again, show off their babies and revel in the fact that walking and sitting is easier, as the perineum is likely to have healed nicely if you have followed all the advice.

About Baby

•Routine will be important for both you and Baby but make it baby-led. Your close observation of the past days will mean that you might now know how frequently your baby likes to nurse – quite likely this will be a pattern of two-hourly [previously numerals] intervals with one or two longer stretches each 24 hours. A few babies drink like clockwork throughout the day and night. Be guided by this flexible pattern and build your routine around it.

•Bath Baby at any time of the day but try and make it the same time each day. Before a feed and a longish sleep are good times as babies will then be at their most relaxed.

•Notice if there is a particularly fussy time to the day and make sure that this time is as free of chores as you can make it. Rather feed frequently, go for a walk with Baby or let Dad take over for a while until you feel rested.

•If Baby feeds with difficulty, examine the tongue, gums and inside of the cheeks for signs of oral thrush: raised thick white patches. This will require treatment with an antifungal oral gel, the Sister Lilian homeopathic remedy Calendula Tablets or the tissue salt Kali mur. You will also need to treat your nipples with antifungal cream as cross-infection is likely.

•Read your baby’s body language, which incorporates physical gestures and ways of crying. If Baby cries stridently, usually after feeds, and goes quite red in the face, this might be his way of saying, ‘I’m frustrated and quite cross, Mom! I need to feed a bit more before this session is complete. Don’t expect me to have it all in one or two courses. And don’t then call it colic when I cry!’ This baby will appear strong-willed and intense but will often be quite happy between feeds. If they are very windy and posit a lot, they may well respond well to treatment with homeopathic remedies like NausiCare or ColicCare.

Tips for Mom

•Despite your increased energy, take care not to overdo things. Continue to pace yourself through the day and night and rest every now and then through the day. Go easy on chores too.

•You might pass blood clots and suddenly bleed more today. If bleeding passes within a few hours and you have no pain or fever, there is no cause for concern. If you do not feel well or bleeding remains profuse, see your midwife or doctor as soon as possible.

•Ask your partner to take you out for tea at a baby-friendly restaurant and enjoy the admiring glances your baby is sure to attract.

•If you still feel weepy and as if you are not coping, call a private midwife, log onto the Sister Lilian Centre website for available services or call the Postnatal Depression Support Association. Sharing your feelings will help put things in perspective.

DAYS ELEVEN TO FOURTEEN

You’re not trying to be Superwoman yet, are you? In reality, you have probably never worked as hard as this in all your life. What you are doing might not always seem so impressive; rather humdrum chores like feeding, nappy changing, bathing your baby, winding . . . Remind yourself that those tasks are the framework for the very important work of caring for, moulding and raising the next generation. You can rightly be proud of that. Every single thing you do is preparing Baby for her future, and there can be no more important task than that.

About Baby

•Now that you are less anxious about handling Baby, it is time to reap some benefits. Lie down when breastfeeding so that you too can sleep, just as baby does. Once you have mastered this art, you will sleep more than you ever have, albeit not in one stretch. Check the milk-feeding section for details of this wonderful way to ease nursing.

Tips for Mom

•Take a slow stroll around the block today. Walking with your baby can be an enjoyable and very effective form of exercise to help regain your shape while providing Baby with comfort and entertainment. Build this into your routine and gradually increase the distance and tempo.

•Play soothing background music often for the enjoyment of both of you.

•Listening to talk radio or interesting interviews can also help you to feel part of the outside world again.

•Check your breasts in the mirror once or twice a day for any redness (usually vaguely triangular in shape) and palpate gently for any tender lumpy areas. Baby should drink from that side first or you can massage the area until soft.

•If you have a hair stylist friend, ask her to do your hair at home. This will be an instant pick-me-up. Ask a friend or relative to watch Baby.

Week Three to Week Six

Baby is now a beautifully communicative little being, with each week bringing new surprises, challenges, joys and concerns. Keep referring to this guide, and read more about any other concerns you might have or developments you are interested in, in the topic-specific sections.

WEEK THREE

Baby grasps your fingers tightly and can even be pulled into a sitting position. This reflex will gradually fade from about three months. Notice how Baby also has a fright reflex, throwing out his arms and scrunching up his face when startled. He can easily turn his head from side to side but still has difficulty holding it up without support.

Babies often have a growth spurt some time now. Just as you thought you knew Baby’s feeding routine, he might increase the number of feeds he needs for a few days. This is not because you have insufficient milk or because your milk is too weak. Simply take things more slowly again for the next few days and allow Baby to nurse more frequently to build up your milk supply. Feeding patterns will revert to normal in about three days. Formula babies also have growth spurts and should be offered more milk. It is probably better to give feeds more frequently rather than to increase the volume of existing feeds.

WEEK FOUR

Baby’s back is a little stronger and she is alert and curious. At the same time she really likes to be close to you. Use a supportive baby carrier pouch so that both hands are free to do your chores. Baby will hear and be comforted by your heartbeat, and your body warmth will ease any tummy aches. Do not carry Baby in this way all day but it can be a lifesaver for shopping trips, while doing chores and at fussy times. Notice how her hands become her first playthings, as she spends ages intertwining her fingers. Baby follows large objects to his midline and then loses interest in tracking them further.

If your baby has needed special care in a high-care unit, this might be your first week home as a complete family. These babies have often been exposed to constant light, sound and other stimuli, so will need time to adjust to a calmer, quieter environment at home. Tone things down gradually and embark on a regular, twice daily massage routine to help calm him. You might be physically recovered from the birth but you will feel quite new at caring for your baby without the presence of skilled staff to help when necessary. It would be good to have handled your baby extensively before she comes home, so talk to the staff about this. Read the sections applying to the first two weeks at home with a baby, as these tips will help you now too.

WEEK FIVE

Week Five won’t be very different from the previous week, except that everything might be a little more pronounced. Lopsided smiles will confirm that Baby is beginning to appreciate his environment. Soon she will begin gurgling when awake and not hungry.

Baby’s cries will be one of the things that concern you most. There are many reasons why babies cry. Most of them are not serious and require simple solutions to restore contentment. Crying is simply Baby’s first form of language: his way of communicating with you.

Do not rush to act preventatively at the first little sound a baby makes. A baby will often make a few sounds, moan a little, wriggle around and then settle of his own accord. Leave him for a while to see if he is really in need of something. This does not mean you should allow him to cry bitterly or for long periods, but simply that you should not automatically assume that something is wrong. When Baby cries, consider these possibilities before looking for more serious reasons:

•Is Baby’s nappy wet or dirty? Do check and change regularly.

•Is Baby thirsty or hungry? Feed when necessary, not according to a schedule.

•Is he too hot or cold? Remember that babies feel both cold and heat sooner than adults and you may need to remove or add a layer or two of clothing or blankets.

•Is she uncomfortable, maybe lying on one side only and experiencing pins and needles? Change her position from time to time if niggly.

•Is he tired and rubbing his ears or eyes? A walk, patting, rocking or singing will help him fall asleep.

•Is it late in the day when he is niggly, as almost all babies are? Go for a walk, bath him, or use a baby carrier as time-tested tips.

•Is she bored maybe? Play games appropriate for this age.

Some babies do cry for attention and this is a more serious issue. Most babies require lots of attention and if you give a fair amount you will have a happier baby. Do not label a baby ‘naughty’ – emotional attention is a valid need. Using a baby carrier will often solve the problem of crying for a bit of closeness to Mom or Dad. If Baby is constantly niggly despite your efforts, it might just be the sign of a high-need baby or she might need the homeopathic remedy Chamomilla Tablets. Babies’ personalities are as individual as those of adults and occasionally one might feel that they are not all that pleasant!

If a baby was born by Caesarean section or had a difficult normal birth, Arnica tablets can be useful to reduce the effects of stress. These unhappy babies also respond well to massage.

Other conditions that cause crying and need special attention are colic and teething. Read more elsewhere in this book.

Lastly, if all other reasons for crying have been checked, one thinks of fever and illness in an unhappy infant. Always be observant – ask yourself if Baby feels feverish, is off his milk or whether his wet nappies smell strongly, indicating a bladder infection, for instance.

WEEK SIX

Six weeks is another quite critical time in life with a baby. In South Africa it is presently the time when immunisation commences and when snuffles, blocked noses and colds first appear. Baby is due for another growth spurt, which you should approach as for the three-week spurt. You might be feeling quite tired after six weeks of the hardest work a woman will ever do, and at the same time might feel that time with Baby is running out as your maternity leave progresses.

Excess mucus underlies most of the minor and many of the more serious common childhood complaints, and babies and small children are more prone to this.

COMMON CONCERNS FROM THREE TO SIX WEEKS

Read more about these elsewhere:

•Colic

•Sticky eyes

•Milia (or baby pimples)

•Cradle cap

•Oral thrush

•Skin rashes.

Common causes of excess mucus at this age are:

•Sensitivity to dairy and soy-based formula milk;

•A lot of dairy and grain products in the diet of a breastfeeding mom;

•A cold, dry climate;

•Immunisation;

•Unduly early introduction of baby cereal in an attempt to get Baby to sleep longer and better at night.

Take note of the following tips:

•Restrict dairy in your diet if nursing.

•Change Baby’s formula to a special allergy or intolerance milk formula.

•Add 5 drops of Eucalyptus oil to Baby’s bath water while running in the hot water: the soothing vapours will promote opening of the airways.

•In cold dry climates run a warm-air humidifier overnight. Add a few drops of Eucalyptus oil. Clean the humidifier thoroughly each morning to prevent bacterial growth.

•Do not give cereal at this early stage.

•See the Health section of this guide for tips relating to immunisation.

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BABY GAMES

•Blow gently on the soles of Baby’s feet.

•Ride bicycle with Baby’s legs.

•Grasp Baby’s arms gently and repeatedly cross and unfold them over the midline while making encouraging and friendly sounds.

Six Weeks to Three Months

This is an increasingly enjoyable period as Baby responds happily and admiringly to all interaction. Handling is easier and you feel that you are getting to know his or her personality quite well.

MILESTONES

•Baby will have better neck control but you will still need to support the head as soon as Baby is not held in the upright position.

•Baby will increasingly track moving objects, even following over the midline.

•Notice how he focuses on specific objects for longer periods.

•She will swipe at objects hanging within arm’s distance.

•He loves to look at faces drawn on a paper plate, or will make do with yours!

•When tired or over-stimulated, she will look away and refuse to make eye contact.

Try these tips to help you spend enjoyable, significant time with your baby during these weeks:

•Cuddle closely and warmly with your baby often. They love the familiar warmth, aroma and presence of the most important people in their world, Mom and Dad.

•Feed your baby whenever necessary. Hunger is one of the main reasons for discontent in the early days and appetite varies throughout a baby’s day, so don’t try and stick to a schedule.

•Rock your baby. Rhythmic motion is mostly a great comforter for small babies: it will remind them of their womb-time, when a rocking motion was always present.

•Protect your baby from too much involvement with strangers. If every visitor has carte blanche with your baby, you might be left with a distressed infant. Gently but firmly stand up for both the rights of both of you to peace and happiness. At the same time, demonstrate confidence with others so that Baby feels relaxed in company.

•Talk and sing to your baby from the very beginning. Babies love the sound of their parents’ voices and they love to be included in your conversations – it says to them they are wanted, recognised and loved and what more could any baby want? It doesn’t matter if it’s baby talk or not, just keep talking!

•Place your baby’s pram or crib under a leafy tree. The instant mobile and the play of light and shadow is fascinating to small babies and can lull them into a restful sleep or simply keep them happy for quite a while.

•Place twins together in a crib or cot. Not only do they love the familiar closeness of their very first companion, but it is often a comforter in unhappy times or as sleep descends.

BABY GAMES

COMMON CONCERNS

Read more about these elsewhere:

•Restless sleeping

•Taking fright at loud noises

•Apparent squints

•Stimulating sight

•Scratches to skin from nails

•Why breast babies pass so few stools

•How to express breastmilk

•Weaning Baby to go back to work

•Regression and aggression of older siblings.

•Rub noses with your baby. They love this type of interaction where your face comes ever closer and ends with gentle touching and toing and froing of noses! Expect delighted laughter.

•Practise funny faces. Even if no one else does, your baby will appreciate your acting efforts and your facial contortions are sure to elicit squeals of pure mirth.

•Bath with your baby. Longer bathtimes or playing with Baby as you share a bath will be both fun and a learning experience as drops of water splash all over and surprise your little one.

Months Three and Four

MILESTONES

Baby is a really sociable little creature now, very ready with smiles and cooing sounds. His movements are a lot smoother and you see the person he will become unfolding on a daily basis. When you lift Baby holding her around the waist, notice how she kicks her legs out in delight. Breastfeeding will become a lot easier and although you still have to do almost everything for your baby, you do see the silver lining most days. Constant drooling makes many moms think that Baby is about to cut her first teeth but this is unlikely, as most babies start from six months. Baby grasps at close-by objects and explores everything with the mouth and this stimulates copious saliva production. Notice too how fascinating he finds his feet.

BABY GAMES

COMMON CONCERNS

Read more about these elsewhere:

•Heat rash

•When do babies roll over?

•Use of dummies

•Constipation

•How to implement routine

•Should a big baby have cereal?

•Continued pain in the perineal area

•Lack of libido.

•Hang colourful spherical face-shapes with lines for mouth and eyes above Baby’s cot, as he will respond really well to this.

•Place musical mobiles at slowly increasing focal distances as Baby grows.

•Sway rattles and other objects from side to side so that she can practise visual tracking.

Month Five

MILESTONES

Baby provides much pleasure at this age, babbling continually and smiling readily. Infectious laughter will light up your days. Baby will probably have mastered the art of rolling from side to side by now and he loves pushing up on his arms when lying on his tummy. Encourage this. She will also love to smile at herself in the mirror. You’re coming close to that big milestone of half a year!

BABY GAMES

COMMON CONCERNS

Read more about these elsewhere:

•Introduction of solids

•Recognising and dealing with teething

•How to recognise illness

•When to go to the doctor

•Dealing with fevers

•Why daytime naps are better than night sleeps

•Feeling that there is strain on your relationship

•Wondering when menstruation will resume.

•Swing Baby from side to side in a sheet hammock.

•Lie Baby on a big pregnancy ball and roll her forward, backward and sideways.

•Place various types of coloured paper and plastic in net bags and dangle above her play area, cot or pram for visual and tactile stimulation.

Month Six

MILESTONES

Delightful as your baby is at this stage, he might become very frustrated with life. He can conceive of things he would like to do, and can see things he’d like to reach but just isn’t able to! This is a demanding phase for parents who need to help Baby attain goals but should not automatically do everything for them: they need to use this energy to develop their abilities. Soon Baby will be able to crawl and then life will be easier again. He will drop one object in preference of another, ‘rake’ interesting objects closer, sit with support, stand firmly if you hold him and start gripping things between his fingers.

BABY GAMES

•Bounce Baby around on a pregnancy ball,

•holding securely around the waist.

•Rattles of various kinds still provide listening pleasure. Fill light but secure containers like small plastic bowls with a variety of things like seeds, beans or marbles. Let Baby rattle these around and be enraptured by the different sounds.

Months Seven and Eight

MILESTONES

Your baby may have developed a sudden shyness of strangers or people she does not see often. This is because babies now become quite aware of themselves as separate from others. Baby will bang objects on a table, reach for food from your plate and quite enjoy being the centre of attention. She can, by the eighth month, manipulate objects between index finger and thumb, and will offer