Mourning Before Sunrise

By Anurag Sharma

Sourav’s life was resuming normalcy. The apparitions of the past were settling down when he receives a call which takes him down the memory lane, to his childhood days, where he saw something which changed his life forever. From being the God gifted child he was treated as dud by each and every person around who never enquired what transformed his life. What happens when the ghost of past stands in front of us and tears apart our present?
When the gory experiences, surface again and nothing in world seems pacifying. Not even for a moment. Rejected by everyone and dejected by him self, he decides to end his life, when an unknown person stops him and tells him a story
A story of youngsters who thought they were living a perfect life but soon their lives were turned upside down in the game of power played by shrewd politicians. How an intelligent person named Kshitij who was destined to be an army officer ends up being a drug addict? Will he be able to survive the tough battle of life? How his story will affect the story of Sourav? What happens when two different lives collide at a time when the sun is about to rise? Will it present a new morning or will the mournings take over?
We all are common people but somehow the ability to fight against the odds differentiates men from boys. Welcome to the world of love, friendship, sacrifices, drugs, power, politics and falling aspirations where hope is the only battle to survive.
It’s a story of emotional binding between friends; father and son; mother and son, coupled with conspiracies and crimes!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Anurag Sharma
• Release date: Aug 31, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311051226

Anurag Sharma

Just a normal man who loves to play with the words

Book preview

MOURNING BEFORE SUNRISE

BY ANURAG SHARMA

© 2014 Anurag Sharma

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

SMASHWORD EDITION, LICENSE NOTES

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Acknowledgement

Having a story is one thing and expressing it is another. This book won’t have been possible without the constant support of my Parents, Sister and all those dear ones who stood by me and read it again and again and encouraged me to write further.

Life often gives us challenges and sometimes pain becomes agony and we find no way out of it. This is when fighters are born; those who never quit. Yes, what people may say but there is something called destiny; things which are not in our control. We all go through times in life when we just say Why me? Either you stand up to fight again or vanish forever.

Difficult situations make champions.

Life is about conquering fears and moving ahead.

Never ever quit in life; happen what may.

Respect the love around you. For your parents and siblings you will always remain special. Look yourself through their eyes.

PART 1

CHAPTER 1

The warmth of sun looks more comforting and fascinating when the arrival of the festival of roses is not far away from the city beautiful. The four day long battle with fog and clouds had finally been won by the sun.

The dew on the pink roses sparkling with the sunlight was giving a treat to the onlookers.

Are you worried?

Sometimes to start a conversation we have to be strangers. For that moment I was little numb and petrified but pretending to be brave I asked her that.

Be a man she said

I mean they will spread this word everywhere, that you were with me I asked may be worried more for myself than her

So??? Is it wrong to be seen with you? Let them say whatever they want to. I don’t care she said without a line of disquiet on her face.

This girl was different…I mean I lied to my friends that I couldn’t see them because I was busy but here they saw me with her. Love makes you forget everyone and everything…..It’s sometimes sweet to make excuses to see the person you like the most and then getting caught…..

Yup I will tell them that I were to study a girl ….the most difficult thing in the world I thought but I was expecting some leg pulling from Nisarg, the joker of our group.

You know what, it seems like I am a boy in this relationship and you are like a girl she smiled, may be she saw the sign of worry on my face

Because I never did any thing naughty with you? I asked

You can’t she said

And you know what; this is the thing I like the most about you. That’s why a beautiful girl like me has fallen in for an idiot like you she smiled and held my hand.

There are many like me, but I am lucky that you found me I said

Wow…..at last some praise from a fire ball she said

Fire ball…that’s what she used to call me…I was a fire ball then who would get angry more often…and I knew she understood this but some truth was hidden in me which I had very smartly stolen from everyone in this world……..

From her too

The park was filled with many like us

Everyone must be having some story, COUPLE the word used for such people…..

And we were one of them.

Ok I have to go she said

So early…please wait for few minutes I said

Why? Do you want to kiss me? Ok if you want to then I will stay otherwise I will have to go she giggled and came closer to me

What are you doing? This is a public place I pushed her away

Hahaha…..Look at your face, its turning red. Don’t worry your Izzat is safe she laughed

It’s not red, you see it’s due to sunrays I smiled too

Oh! I were to be at home by now she took out the mobile from her blue jeans to check the time

Can’t you wait for few minutes more? I asked again

No I can’t……I have to leave. There are guests coming today and I have to be with them she said

And you don’t want to be with me? I asked.

No….you know, I don’t want to be with you that’s why I am here. I called you, right? But…..

This was the most difficult time for me when I had to say bye to her and she knew it very well too.

Please, I have to go, lest Mom will kill me she said as she went to her scooter

Ok go then, your guests seem to be more important than me I said rudely

I wish they were but unfortunately my fireball is more important she smiled

And don’t get angry now. I hate that frown on your face, you can do without it too and this green sweater suits you a lot, wear it more often she said pointing to my sweater

It’s not the sweater which looks better on me, it is me who makes this sweater look good I smiled

Smile on your face, no wonder sun rose today after so many days she said

And her scooter took time to get started and I had to kick start it

.

I don’t want this scooter to start easily I said

Why? she smiled because she knew my answer

Because it gives me extra seconds to be with you I replied

Don’t worry you will get all the time with me if you wish to she smiled and that glow in her eyes came again.

And hey, All the best for results….I am sure this time you gonna make it she said

You know what they say that more we struggle in life, the more beautiful our life becomes afterwards Priya said

Really, that means you wont leave me ever because without you my life can’t ever be beautiful I smiled

Wow….its nice to hear well about me from your mouth, my fireball she reciprocated

Atlast you heard what I always say I said

Trust in God, he is looking at you and even he thinks that my fireball is strong enough to face any test of life

You know I am an atheist I replied

I am sure one day you will realize how much special you are for him

I just wanted to say that you are struggling in your life right now and it means that you will have a successful future she said

I don’t believe in such things, I am struggling because I deserve to. I am not that good Priya I said

No, you are not good but you are the best she said

Flattered I replied

Thank you, Mr. Fireball and take care she said and went away

Results…….? I thought

It had been two and a half years since we finished our graduation. We all started our lives with a dream to become Chartered Accountants and make our own firm.

My friends Vicky, Keshav, Nisarg and off course Priya but all of them had cleared CA intermediate exams and were enrolled for Articleship in some CA firm but I had failed twice with a narrow margin always.

They never made me realize that I was a failure but I was fed up with this life.

Study for six months and then wait for results and then study again but the most important thing was that we were together

Meanwhile the most beautiful time of the day had ended for me.

I had to go home, sit in front of a TV set and wait for another day to hope that I could clear this time.

I sauntered towards home; I had told Mom that I was going to see my friends.

She didn’t enquire about anything, nor did I wish to tell her

Just sat in front of TV, switched on to some cricket match and just glue to it but my mind was more occupied with the fear of failure than on the cricket

What if I fail again? All the hopes will be shattered I thought

Shattering the dreams! I was born to do that.

Will I get the success for which I studied for so long or again that disgusting life? I thought

In every hour or so, I would receive a message from Priya

Some times a forward message or some times she would start some conversation

She was the propelling force of my life.

The whole night I kept thinking about tomorrow but soon the sleep took me to another world.

The next day had arrived, just looked at my mobile and as always a message from Priya

Good Morning fireball. All the Best for today; I know you gonna make it today it read

Thank you I replied back

It was chilly like any other January morning but this day could very well heat up my life.

The heart was pumping very fast. They said they would declare results around 11 AM but often they do it early, after every few seconds I would refresh the result page but in vain.

It was around 9:30 am, dad was about to leave for his office and I just checked again for my result and this time it was there.

And with the prayers on lips which were very rare and shaky hands I entered my roll number

Here you go

I couldn’t believe it; again I passed all my exams but failed in aggregate.

In CA you need to get 40 in each subject and 50% in aggregate. This 50% margin always created a sufficient distance from me.

Mom and dad were watching it too………

Better luck next time Dad said, disappointed and went away to his office

Failed again? Don’t worry, next time you will clear it said my mom

But I was in a terrible state of mind

Only thing you are sure about in your life is that your parents will be more disappointed than you on your failure.

They didn’t deserve me. Their hardwork is being wasted by me I used to think

Why me? I thought and yelled in pain. The sorry tale had begun again.

In few minutes I received the message of Priya, she had my roll number

Don’t worry champ, you were very close this time, there’s always a next time, you gonna make it for sure

I didn’t reply

I had no courage left to do it…….

But messages of Vicky, Keshav and Nisarg were coming in to enquire about the results

I messaged back Failed in aggregate

After few minutes the message of Nisarg came with a smiley on the start

Are you sure you gonna do it? Anyway, don’t worry WHERE THERE’S A WILL THERE’S A WAY AFTER NOVEMBER THERE’S MAY

I didn’t know whether he was being sarcastic or was motivating me but when you are down in life you take every joke seriously.

Again the news of my failure spread like a fire and everyone was on me again

My parents didn’t say anything; their silence became more agonistic for me

People are always judgmental when it comes to judging others; they leave no stone unturned to make you realize that how badly you have performed

My aunt said I think he likes sitting at home, that’s why he is failing again and again

That day I decided one thing that I won’t hear anything from anybody and the best way was to get disconnected with the world, to switch off my cell, never go online on any social networking site and just boycott this whole world till three months…..

After May I would see them again……….

I told this to Priya

Are you crazy? You don’t act like a kid. You know that failure in CA is not uncommon and it doesn’t mean that you are bad, we know that…..don’t we? she said

But do people around me know this? Do the results show that I worked very hard for it? A failure is a failure, no matter whether in CA or any class in school I said

It’s not like that, let people say what they want to, but we know that you are good enough for anything in this world she said

Who we? My so called friends, who left nothing to make me realize that I am a big failure, Come on Priya, the world is not that good what you think of it, I have seen it and felt this thing more than you, I ……….. I just stopped; a silence broke out in our conversation on phone

Complete the sentence this time, every time you say that you have seen this world more than me but you never answer my question…how? What have you seen that you are always cursing this world she said

Yes every time I would want that thing to be out of my mind but I never had the courage to take that out

Nothing, leave it. I will talk to you later I said

No stop, just answer my question, what is there in your life that you don’t tell…… I didn’t hide any secret from you, but what’s there that you are hiding and I think this relationship allows me to know that she said

I told you leave it Na ….so just leave it…there’s nothing I shouted

Ok if you think that it’s not worth to tell me then its fine. But don’t take any stupid decision now. Bye she said and put the phone down

Bye I said after feeling the anger in her voice

Off late our conversations used to end like this……

I wanted to tell her that thing but didn’t have the courage and she would get angry that I was hiding something from her

Meanwhile my mind was caught in the results…. I took the dust off my books.

Here we go again. Get ready for the torture…Again those books, again grunting with them I thought

But that was the thing I had to do for three months again. Me and my books……where would it end?

I really had seen weird and more cruel things in life, this failure was better than that but the thing that was worrying me more that I was lagging behind in life.

Priya and I had planned that we will join the same CA firm for our Articleship but out of 3 years of Articleship, she had already completed more than half her training and the day I will enroll for the training, she would be on the verge of completing it.

But I had to cope with it.

I promised Priya that I would talk to her at least once a week and with this promise I cut all my contacts with the whole world. My friends hadn’t talked to me after my failure.

Unsaid clause of we are not with you had crept in our friendship.

Now I was a one man army fighting for survival of my dreams and the dreams of my parents and for Priya too.

I was like a boy who wanted to learn swimming but no one was there to guide