The Psychology of Guilt

By Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D.

Guilt symptoms vary but usually include an uneasy feeling, accompanied by anxiety. Anxiety signals underlying conflicts, which might not be within your awareness, hence the difficulty resolving the ambivalence.

Yes, guilt is a form of ambivalence--a more painful form than other common forms (procrastination and forgiveness). It is tougher to tackle than procrastination-related ambivalence, but usually not as deep or difficult as a third common form--forgivenes. Resolving ambivalence is no easy feat, but understanding this underlying dynamic is necessary if you want guilt (or those other two bad experiences )to go away.

In this ebook, I start out with some definitions, and then highlight the good and bad aspects of guilt. Yes, there are actually a few good things associated with guilt, but these are not the main focus of this ebook, because we all tend to focus on the uncomfortable parts. There's a discussion of guilt in the literature, divided into four parts--Evolutionary, Neurological, Social and Clinical.

What is the difference between guilt and shame? Guilt and Procrastination? Guilt and Anxiety? What are its specific dynamics? (Think sins of omission and sins of commission). I discuss common situations that create guilt--how others create guilt in you--and how to think about them so that guilt is just one possible experience, not the only one. I list at least a dozen irrational beliefs that make you vulnerable and another ten or so questions you can ask yourself to make these conscious. Then I list another dozen or more approaches to guilt described by other psychologists. (I didn't think of everything myself...) What are the functions of punishment? Pennance? Rationalization? Denial? Assertiveness? How do you sabotage assertivensss? (I list eight ways.) And last, I talk about guilt in relation to religion.

I sprinkle quotes throughout the text and include over two pages of them at the end. Some of them are thought-provoking, some are just funny. I like quotes because they make text more readable, plus give the reader a broader perspective. But, since I am a psychologist, the emphasis is on your experience of guilt and how to stop it. You can when you understand how it works and the underlying feeling you probably have that most miss. That feeling causes the ambivalence, which causes the anxiety, which causes you to avoid fixing this.

Clients are very enthusiastic about this ebook, probably because everyone can use some work on this issue, especially if you happen to be in a relationship.

"This e-book is phenomenal! I have dealt with guilt for years, though I've never had a good reason to, and I found this book empowering. Of course, I thought I had good reasons to feel guilty, but I didn't realize just how irrational those reasons were. I learned that the feelings come from a struggle with ambivalence, being torn between two different sets of standards, neither of which were my own. I've always been a people-pleaser, and apparently had never found reason to stand my ground and create standards that were right for me. This has caused me immense resentment against those people in my life whose standards I felt pressured to meet. Reading this book was an eye-opener because it was like going down a checklist of a personal description. I didn't understand that many of my decisions and thoughts were completely driven by guilt, and, had I not been educated through reading this book, I would have carried on in the same miserable pattern in ignorance." --B.B., Escondido, CA

• Language: English
• Publisher: Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D.
• Release date: Apr 9, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476229607

Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D.

I'm a psychologist. I write no-fat, how-to ebooks on subjects and conditions I fix everyday in the office. These include relationships, being assertive, struggling with guilt and/or procrastination, children and teenager's behavior, anxiety disorders, anger management, kids and divorce, self-esteem, child visitation, weight control, forgiveness, ADHD, addictions, and my latest, mood disorders. I've written 15 ebooks, and most of them are translated into Spanish. Now, I'm starting to write a book, "The Other Side of the Couch." It's about my daily experiences as an outpatient psychologist and how I see the world through the lense of a shrink...

Book preview

The Psychology of

GUILT

(Ambivalence Turned Inwards)

By

Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D.

A PSYCHOLOGICAL CORPORATION

http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com/page20.html

Copyright 2011

Published by Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D. at Smashwords

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Disclaimer

The Psychology of Guilt

--Guilt Defined

Background

--Evolutionary Causes of Guilt

--Neurological Causes of Guilt

--Social Processes

----Guilt vs. Shame

--Clincial Aspects

Ambivalence

--Definition

--Approach-Avoidance

--Double Approach-Avoidance

Strategies

--Everyday Situations

Dealing With Guilt

--Top Ten Behavioral Shenanigans

--Assertiveness

----The Top Eight Reasons NOT to be..

----How To Be Assertive

------Thirteen Tips

Irrational Beliefs

--How Do I...

--Fifteen Tips

Repentance--When All Else Fails

Quotes

Other Ebooks by the Author

About The Author

DISCLAIMER

This ebook is written to assist those who wish to learn about the experience of guilt. The information given is straightforward and written in ordinary English. It is presented in a manner that is not too technical (clinical) or overwhelming in detail, even though some terms and concepts are necessary. The information is intended for adults of reasonably sound mental states who wish to change, hopefully improve their behaviors in the area of guilt or its many manifestations. It describes psychological techniques that are well known, in the standard literature or that have been adapted, modified or created by this author through years of outpatient clinical experience.

The material in this ebook conforms to the general standards of the psychiatric and psychological professions in the United States. It is designed to assist people in general and is not meant to be a substitute for professional intervention. The author of this ebook does not claim the enclosed information will cure guilt, only that it will give the general reader a better sense of the range of ideas, concepts, terms and approaches in this area. Hence it is assumed that the reader has some normal or average competence and ability to read, think about and understand materials of this nature, and will seek professional help if necessary.

The Psychology of GUILT

(Ambivalence Turned Inwards)

From etymology (the study of historical linguistic change, especially as manifested in individual words)

"Guilt stems from gylt ‘crime, sin, fault, fine,’ of unknown origin, though some suspect a connection to O.E. gieldan ‘to pay for, debt,’ but O.E.D. editors find this ‘inadmissible phonologically.’ The mistaken use for ‘sense of guilt’ is first recorded 1690. ‘Guilt by association’ is first recorded in 1941. ‘Guilty’ is from O.E. gyltig, from gylt."

From wikipedia

"Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes—accurately or not—that he or she has violated a moral standard, and bears significant responsibility for that violation. It is closely related to the concept of remorse (which adds the dimension of sadness, shame or responsibility)."

In psychology, as well as in ordinary language, guilt is an affective state in which one experiences conflict at having done something that one believes one should not have done, or conversely, having not done something one believes one should have done. It gives rise to a feeling which does not go away easily, usually driven by conscience. Freud described guilt as a state, resulting from the struggle between the ego and the superego. Specifically, guilt was thought to occur because of overbearing parental imprinting. Freud rejected the role of God as punisher in times of illness or rewarder in time of wellness. Thus, while removing one source of guilt from patients, he described another. This was the unconscious force within the individual, and Freud thought this contributed to illness. In a more general but still Freudian sense, the victim of someone else's accident or bad luck may be offered criticism; the theory being that the victim may be at fault for having attracted the other person's hostility. Guilt was the factor that created the calamity, albeit the process was out of awareness. The punishment of suffering confirmed the fault of the sufferer. Guilt and its causes, merits, and demerits are common themes in psychology and psychiatry. The use of guilt here is not referring