WellBeing

The power of apology

In a society that is increasingly apology-averse, the idea of the unreserved apology is now a thing of the past. To say sorry after causing hurt or offence to another used to be a given, something we were taught as children to do as a rule. Now, it is has become the exception. That most simple of phrases — I’m sorry — has become all too complicated.

The semantics of sorry

Nowadays, saying sorry is seen as a sign of weakness or an admission of shame. Deflecting blame or obfuscating responsibility has become an art form. The humble apology has given way to the qualified apology where the offender is absolved from feeling a sense of guilt while maintaining their sense of power or self-righteousness. While that may seem like a win for the transgressor, they are actually deprived of feeling true remorse.

For instance, if you’ve hurt another’s feelings, the accepted response used to be, “I’m sorry for upsetting you.” Not necessarily any more. What you might say now is, “I’m sorry you feel that way”. The difference appears negligible, but the change in meaning is hugely significant. People now worry what the impact might be on them if they say sorry. This semantic sleight of hand takes the

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