Codename: Ace of Spades

By J Tanner

Blake here. Apparently I’m supposed to tell you something about myself, but I’m not sure where to start.

If you asked the peanut gallery, they’d tell you I’m a con artist, a glory hound, a common criminal. They’ll toss around words like narcissist, egomaniac, sociopath. Always in threes. I’ve heard vagabond, rogue, and plain old monster hurled my way. And every profanity in the book. I’m not sure what book that is, with all that profanity, but people have dug deep into the appendices to describe yours truly. Who are you going to believe, though, a bunch of long-winded cursing peanuts or me?

I’ll tell you exactly who I am: I’m the good guy.

And today’s bad guys: Litterbugs.

I’ve been asked to inform you that what follows is considered a short story. Short stories are like books without all the boring parts. They’re good for when you have a few minutes free. Maybe you’re second in in line at the DMV, staking out a guy who’s just taken his mistress into a cheap hotel on his lunch break, or preparing to ambush a drug dealer in a dark alley. Those kinds of brief wait situations you find yourself in from time to time.

This story may contain some things you don’t like. There could be some rearrangement of facial features through fisticuffs or more advanced weaponry. I might use four-letter words like #$%! or &*+@ without all the funny characters. Consider yourself warned.

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. Tanner
• Release date: Dec 1, 2013
• ISBN: 9781311342577

Book preview

CODENAME: ACE OF SPADES

by

J. Tanner

Published by RTH Publishing

Copyright © 2013 by J. Tanner

Smashwords Edition

Author Web Site:

authorjtanner.wordpress.com

Version 2013.11.30

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WARNING:

             

DISCLAIMER:

This is a work of non-fiction. The contents are completely true except for the parts where the narrator exaggerated or outright lied, and the parts where the author employed dramatic license. The rest though, all true.

CODENAME: ACE OF SPADES

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Blake here.

I’m time-limited at the moment, so let’s start by preventing you from interrupting me five minutes from now to ask if this story is just one big fight. Yes, it’s just one big fight.

Would adding in the boring parts really improve it? Like maybe what I had that morning for breakfast? How about eggs. Or handfuls of cereal out of the box because I was out of milk. I don’t tend to remember those things so I’d probably just lie anyway, but what would you really know about me if I told the truth and gave you a detailed rundown of what I ate an hour earlier? Is there some sort of cost-benefit ratio on how long I talk over the relevance of what’s said to this story?

Rather than talking