Pineapple Pleasure 2: Sleeping on The Job

By Frankie Lassut

Carl, Tony and their little winged friend Super Fly get together again. This time they travel to lands far and distant in a flying ‘rig’ designed by Super Fly, to a secret lab where a fantastic scientific/electronics expert genius (you wouldn’t believe how he achieved that position) in a secret lab, helps them design the world’s greatest, revolutionary, ‘probably’ sex toy.
This story has the power to change your life, seriously.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Frankie Lassut
• Release date: Jul 28, 2013
• ISBN: 9780957670082

Frankie Lassut

I am the one being shaved; the other one Nim, is is a looney bin now!I went to see a psychic years ago who ended up as my girlfriend; she didn’t see that one coming! But she was extremely honoured. However it ended badly i.e. it rained heavily as I buried her body and I got soaked. No! You don’t really want to hear about it, it’s depressing; I was joking about the burial. She told me that I was to uncover a talent I had ... Well, another psychic told me that as the first one was dead; I was lying when I said I was lying. Nothing happened for quite a while. Suddenly I realised I needed a ‘job’ quite badly as I was beginning to drink halves. No, not a boob ‘job’! I went for the cheap option i.e. the surgeon gave some socks to shove up my jumper when I go out. I got a ‘job’ (have you got boobs on your mind?) because someone told me that bus-driving was easy because you just sit on your butt and turn the wheel. She was about six, a wise woman ... that’s called an oxymoron. Fantastic! I thought get the job and in a couple of days I’d be driving all the nice passengers around and about seeing all the sights for a fraction of the cost of a tour bus; and we’d have a roof in case it rained. Easy! First of all though there was the training; and I entered hell.I was born in Cumbria in a little ex-iron ore mining town called Millom. It was only small, a one- horse town; the horse was called Peg. It had a pedigree name too, but I can’t remember it at the moment: Peggy Suss? However, I got fed up and left as I was the only man in a town full of women and they were all lesbys; I’ve always been lucky. I went to Blackpool and attended the photographic college. I then moved to Coventry and met the psychic who would tell me what was going to happen. I could say now that the rest is history. Well it is, but obviously not history as that’s all made up anyway. Then I got the job bus-driving, which as I said is easy ‘you just sit on your butt and turn the wheel’. The bus station management weren’t pleased that she had said that though, so she was tried and sent to Guantanamo Bay; they have a section for young kids who are bad to the bone.The job was so mad that I thought it would be a good idea to write out some posters and stick them all on the wall of the bus station. The other drivers enjoyed them, but the management tore them down, the badstars (that’s an anagram of astards +B). I carried on and ended up with a manuscript for a book, which, by the way is ‘brilliant’. The management didn’t like it, but bollocks to them.I couldn’t stop writing after that episode and I’ve been writing ever since, mostly cheques to people, such as the mortgage people and the gas board etc. I am so brilliant that I’ve lost all my friends because I wrote about them in my style which I believe is called Bizzaro. My inner being is a bit of a crazy horse, because whatever I write it has to be in that style, even the horror. It just goes that way. ‘Ordinary’ writing to me is like lemonade minus the bubbles ... I can’t bring myself to do it; but thank God I can still bring myself off. I need a selfie stick as I do that because the close focus on the phone won’t do it; how else am I going to post them on the Dark Web?Writing is like a drug. When I was writing my Millom book, the pictures that flashed into my head were so funny to me that I laughed myself into hernia-ville; my stomach tore. I got injured writing.You see, hernia-ville, a retirement home for people with stomach hernias; no comedians are booked to appear at that place.So, my writing is brilliant, so read the bloody stuff!I have actually suffered for my art. I won’t go to hospital to get it fixed because, well, I’ve written about that friggin place too.All that and now I’m an international bestselling author. I’m the only author in this world who has sold books on Mars (eat your heart out Tony Robbins), so I can say with certainty that Martians have fabulous senses of humour.What a profile!

Book preview

Pineapple Pleasure 2

Sleeping on the Job

Copyright © Dave Lassut 2013

Published by Wonky Books at Smashwords

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Important note: Don’t forget to laugh.

EPUB ISBN: 978-0-9576700-8-2

EBOOK ISBN: 978-0-9576700-9-9

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This book is dedicated to Dave Dornbush who was the inspiration behind it. We have no idea who he is ... but thanks!

Pineapple Pleasure 1:

Dave Dornbush LIKES this book (from another site)

This was a fun and cute read. I would LOVE to read a sequel with the erotic (mis)adventures of Carl and Tony (and of course SUPERFLYYY!!). I could definitely see this as being a fun little series.

Asleep On the Job

Hello reader.

Welcome to book 2, which came about when Dave Dornbush said he would like to read another adventure of the lads and Superfly. Actually, I can’t call Superfly, the little red caped, friendly, non-violent hero simply ‘Superfly’, that’s a bit too ordinary for him. He liked respect i.e. whoever is addressing him to sing his name i.e. Su (pick a note) -per (a little lower pitched)-fly (same as Su)!

In book one Pineapple Pleasure I did it two different ways under the threat of ‘Superflykido’, a deadly technique he used on spiders such as tarantulas or those huge Iraqi camel spiders that thought they would try it on with him. In this book I’m going with the slightly different , SUPERRRR FLYYYY! Try it.

This is an EBWAD, or, an Erotic Book With a Difference.

You see, I find erotica, or porn, quite boring ... it’s always the same stuff. So, I have used the power of the mind i.e. ‘yours’. The technique, which I used in Pineapple Pleasure is called the Virtual Reality Imaginarium, which is your very own mind cinema. That’s the powerful place most people utilise for powerlessness imaginings, depression shows, a lifetime of despair ... etc. Few though use it for the positive, but, refreshingly, as sex is positive (sometimes), you can use your imaginarium. This time I’ll modify it slightly and call it the Virtual Reality ‘Sexy’ Imaginarium. Tell you what, read Pineapple Pleasure, if you haven’t already done so. If you have and you enjoyed it, and you enjoy this one too ... tell your friend to read them too ... no, order them to, under the influence of pain if you must. If enough people do this, I can then have an obscene fortune, loads of great cars, and a gothic mansion in the country. That might make some people really jealous, but, if you’re one of them, bear in mind that ... I’m not actually happy despite the money, which will make you feel better (I’m still on the team). If you decide to visit, I will give you a ‘Special Visitor’ i.e. Friend of the Wonky Mansion’ 10% discount, and you can join us in one of our favourite games, the man hunt, where we hunt a poor person we ‘found’, with paint ball guns. If we don’t hit them in a non vital place, we set the tame wolf pack on them,