A Son's Anguish

By Robin Nadler

How long can you run before your past comes back to haunt you? How much good can you do when you have so much to make up for? Can a lifetime of good make up for the sins of the past? What if those sins aren’t yours? What is they come from those who raised you?

Bill always knew his father was a terrible man. He had grown up with the sting of beatings most of his life. His childhood was full of pain and anger and disappointment. He vowed to break the cycle.

He joined the Army. He did everything right. He met and married his true love. He had two beautiful children. He found a sister he never knew. He overcame his past.

Or did he?

When Bill begins to uncover the secrets of his father’s life, all he thought and all he knew to be true turns out to be a lie. Everyone has their breaking point, and for Bill, finding out the truth about his father is more than he can take.

Not to mention what happens to his wife...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Robin Nadler
• Release date: Jun 4, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301003655

Robin Nadler

Robin Nadler is a high school teacher, romance author, animal enthusiast and sarcasm aficionado. When not standing in front of a classroom of teenagers, she is immersed in the lives of the characters she creates. As a fighter of Multiple Sclerosis, Robin continuously pushes the boundaries of what is expected of her and what she knows is always possible. Her goal is to inspire and share a love of humor, romance and passion. For information on her Family by Choice series, as well as her current works in progress, please connect with her on any of the following platforms. Facebook: facebook.com/nadlersnovels Twitter: @buka163090 Instagram: rnadler103 Blog: www.nadlersnovels.com

Book preview

Chapter One:

Bill held the gold chain in his shaking hands and turned it over, almost collapsing.

Bill? What’s wrong? What is it? Jack asked.

He looked at them and let the chain fall to the floor. This belongs to my father.

What? Julie asked, fearful for her husband.

Janet has been to my mother. I need to go take care of this. If you want me wired, fine, but either way, I am taking care of this tonight.

This was your father’s? Are you sure? Mike asked him.

Bill handed it to him. Look on the inside. My mom gave it to him on my 10th birthday. It has an inscription. My dad was furious she spent money on something like that and he let her know it, he was feeling the walls closing in on him and looked at them.

Can you guys give us a minute alone? Julie asked.

They all nodded and walked out. Bill, come here please, she said.

He sat on the bed and faced her. Why is this happening? Why now? What is the point of this?

She stroked his cheek, I don’t know, but we’re going to figure it out.

I don’t want to figure it out, he said softly.

Julie took his hand in hers and kissed his fingers. Tell me about the chain.

Bill met her gaze and his eyes filled with tears. It was my birthday. I was turning 10. We didn’t really celebrate birthdays, much, dad said it was silly to celebrate something we had no control over.

Julie cringed. She hated his father so much, every story just solidified her anger.

Mom didn’t agree, but she had to be careful, he looked at Julie. She didn’t want to anger him, you know?

Go on, she rubbed his arm.

Well, I guess because it was my 10th, she decided to make a special dinner. It was cool, because I remember she got me out of school early to go to McDonalds for lunch, but she made me promise never to tell dad, he looked at his hands and then at her. She had her moments of being really awesome.

Julie nodded. Of course she did baby.

Anyway, we had lunch and then we stopped at the jewelry story for her to pick up a gift for dad. She wouldn’t tell me what it was, but she was so excited. It was the first time I remember her being really happy, he stood up and paced before he looked at her. Now that I think of it, this would have been at the height of Brittany’s stardom.

Julie frowned. Do you think that’s relevant?

He chuckled. If I understood any of this, I might have an idea, but I can’t figure it out. The only thing I can think of is that maybe my dad knew about her enough to be angry with this? It also might be why mom was happy? he was trying to figure it out as he went over it.

You might be on to something, Julie said. She needed him to finish the memory. What happened at dinner?

He came home pissed off, which wasn’t unusual, but when we sat down to eat, mom gave me a present. It was a new football and I loved it. I begged dad to go outside and toss the ball with me, but he wasn’t interested. We ate in silence and then mom gave him the gift, he stopped talking and his eyes filled with tears.

What happened? she pushed him.

She brought out my birthday cake and told him that she loved him and she was so happy to have been able to have this life. She said something about how he gave her a child and allowed her to raise him. She wanted to thank him for everything and so she worked extra hours to put money aside and get this chain for him. It was inscribed with love for him.

Julie knew something major had happened next. She stood up slowly, careful not to disturb a sleeping Josie in the bassinette and walked to him. What happened next?

He was so mad. He told her how she had learned nothing in all the years he had known her and she wasted her money on something as stupid as this. He took the chain threw it at her and then took my cake and threw it on the floor. His chin quivered as he was thrown back into the memory. She was scared and I, he stopped.

Julie cupped his face in her hands. What did you do?

I started to cry. He grabbed me and pushed me into the cake, calling me an idiot for crying over a stupid birthday cake. That was the first time he called me an idiot, he looked at her. I wasn’t crying over the cake.

She felt her own tears fall as she listened to him.

He told me I was a disgrace and didn’t deserve a present and my mom was a slut who didn’t deserve to be loved. He took the football away and left to go to the bar, I thought, but now I wonder if he went to see Janet. Anyway, mom tried to make it better, but she ended up taking her bottle of vodka and going into the bedroom. I cleaned up the cake, did the dishes and went to bed.

On your birthday? Julie asked.

It was just another day.

She held him to her and he wrapped his arms around her. Baby I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say?

He looked at her and shrugged. It’s okay. I know he wasn’t right in the head and I know it wasn’t my fault. When I packed my mom’s things to move her into the assisted living facility, I found the chain. She had kept it in her nightstand all those years. I packed it to go with her. Whoever did this, went to her first.

Julie shook her head. First of all, it’s not okay. Second, I think this is the first mistake Janet has made.

He walked her back to the bed and they sat down. How? She, or whoever, planted it there to get a reaction.

I know, but she didn’t count on your memory. She didn’t know you would remember packing it and putting it with your mom’s things. She planted it thinking it would have an effect, but she miscalculated. We are going to get her, Bill.

He looked up as Mike came back in. I hope so, he said and began to fill Mike in.

*******

Tommy let Stephanie and Jack into his office and Jack filled them in on the chain. Brittany shook her head. Bill has to be going crazy.

He was stunned. I think the prospect his dad was involved is weighing heavily on him. If nothing else, it’s confirmation, in his mind, that he was raised by a monster, Jack said.

This is fucking ridiculous, Tommy yelled. How is it that time after time these assholes win? How is it that we are always one step behind?

I don’t know, but it’s going to stop, Jack said.

Why? Because you say it will? We have to do better, Tommy said.

Stephanie sighed and then looked at her cell phone which buzzed. Bill wants to talk to Brittany in private. He is on his way up.

Tommy looked at his wife and she handed him Naomi. I’m fine. Take Naomi and you all go back downstairs. I will wait here for Bill, Brittany said.

He sighed and nodded. We’ll wait for Bill. I’m not leaving you alone.

They were all quiet until Bill knocked on the door. They left him with Brittany and went back downstairs.

How are you feeling? Bill asked his sister after they were alone.

Much better, she tried to figure out what he was thinking.

I’m going to see Janet. I need to know what she wants.

I’ll go with you. She would never expect us to come together.

No, you’re not well enough. I don’t want anything to happen to you.

Then why tell me? Brittany crossed her arms.

He was at a loss. I’m not sure, really.

You told me because you know it’s a bad idea and you didn’t want to worry Julie. You told me because you knew I wouldn’t talk you out of it. You miscalculated when you thought I wouldn’t make you take me with you. Now are you going to drive or shall I?

You’re not the boss of me, Bill said.

She rolled her eyes. We have so much teasing to make up for. Now help me up and let’s go.

Tommy and Julie are going to be so mad, Bill said.

I know, but they would do the same for each other.

Chapter Two:

Brittany sat at Tommy’s desk while Bill was in the bathroom. She decided to tell him she was going. He had been through so much with her and if he couldn’t find her, she knew he would be so mad and hurt she didn’t tell him. She picked up her phone and called him.

Hey? Are you okay? Tommy asked.

I’m great. Bill and I are going to go out for a little while. I don’t want you or Julie to worry, she said, knowing he would.

What? You’re not healthy enough to go anywhere. Where are you going? I told Bill not to do anything, Tommy saw Julie look alarmed.

Tommy, I’m not going to let him do anything. I think it’s important that we do this together. I need to do this, but more importantly, I can do this.

He knew she was specifically leaving out where they were going. Red, please don’t go off with him.

She sighed. I can’t live like that, Tommy. I’m not an invalid and I need to take control of things. I can’t just sit in a glass case; it’s not who I am. Besides, he is my brother and he needs me.

He knew she was right, but there was so much going on. Baby your platelets are not stable. What if something happens?

She smiled. We aren’t leaving the country. I just want to go somewhere with him and I wanted to tell you. You can’t be with me 24 hours a day.

You simply can’t go; I won’t allow it, he said, seeing Julie, Stephanie and Jack roll their eyes at him.

Excuse me? I can’t go? And did you say allow? she asked, raising her eyebrows.

Yes, no. It’s a stupid idea, Tommy said and Julie threw her pillow at him.

So now I’m stupid?

No, the idea is stupid. I didn’t say you were stupid, he sighed.

Well, since I came up with the idea, I guess I know where I stand. I’ll talk to you later, she hung up the phone and Bill walked in.

Ready to go? he looked concerned at her facial expression. You okay?

I called Tommy so he wouldn’t worry.

Didn’t go well?

He told me I couldn’t go and the idea was stupid, she looked at him as something occurred to her.

Nice. So I can go alone, Bill sighed.

Like hell. Come on, she tucked her hair under a cap and took his arm as they walked out. I actually have a different idea.

*******

You can’t go? You honestly forbid her to go? Julie yelled at her brother. What is wrong with you? She called you so we wouldn’t worry. Don’t you remember raising me at all?

Jack looked at his friend. I’m no expert, but perhaps that wasn’t the best course of action.

Tommy sat down and ran his hands through his hair. He looked at Naomi asleep in the car seat. She never accepts her limitations.

Stephanie walked over and sat next to him. Did the doctor tell her she needed to be home bound?

He looked at her. No, but earlier she was home when it was broken into and she could have been hurt, or worse, he said, his chin quivering.

Stephanie rubbed his back, But she wasn’t and she stood up to it. She took time to lay down in your office after we got here and feels better. I’m not saying she is right, but you need to stop seeing her as fragile.

Stephanie’s right. The more you put her in a glass case, the more she will try to get out, Julie said.

So going to confront Janet in jail is smart? Looking at the woman who set up your rape and torture is a sound idea? he yelled.

Julie shook her head. They aren’t going to see Janet. Why would you think that?

Because that’s where Bill was going to go earlier, when I went to get him.

Julie sighed. He wouldn’t take her there. If she is with him, they are going to see their mom.

Tommy glared at her. You’re wrong. You all just don’t get it.

Jack looked at Stephanie and smiled. Will you guys watch Naomi for a minute? I’m taking Tommy for a walk.

I don’t want to go for a walk.

I didn’t ask if you wanted to go. Come on, he looked at Tommy who begrudgingly stood up and followed.

Jack walked him to a conference room and walked in, closing the door behind him. He motioned for Tommy to sit. Tell me what’s going on.

What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t need a therapist.

Jack sighed. You have to stop trying to fix this. You always do that, Tommy. You can’t fix this.

So what do you suggest I do? Should I just wait for the call that tells me she’s dead? Or lying somewhere, bleeding to death? Or better yet, just missing? She is not well, Jack. She will push herself to help Bill at the detriment of herself.

Like you do?

I am not living with what she is. I am not dealing with the injuries she is. I am not one issue away from dying, he yelled.

Why look at the worst case scenario? Why assume she is going to die? Jack pushed him on it.

Because that’s what everyone in his life has done, Brittany said from the doorway. She looked at Jack. Can you give me a minute with my husband?

Jack smiled. You can have him forever.

Tommy looked at them and shook his head. Jack walked out and she walked to him.

I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I feel like there is a weight on my chest and nothing will move it. Everyone knows how to fix me and everyone tells me to let you do what you want, but that’s not who I am. It never has been and it isn’t changing now, he stood up and stared at her.

Okay.

What?

Well, since you’ve suddenly become a dictator, I don’t think there is anything for me to say. Will you allow me to fill you in on what I was doing or is that forbidden? she glared at him, her eyes on fire.

He opened his mouth and then closed it. He had a sudden déjà vu and a small grin crept over his face.

This is funny?

He raised his eyebrows. You and me, fighting in a conference room. Brings back memories.

You were a stubborn ass then and you are still stubborn.

But not an ass? he grinned.

Not always.

That’s good to know.

She walked to him and cupped his face in her hands. Look at me. Touch me. Feel me. I am strong and capable. I have a fight in me that will not be taken away. I need you, don’t get me wrong, but as my husband and my equal, not as my caretaker.

He blinked and a tear spilled over. You don’t understand. Julie doesn’t need me, Jack doesn’t need me, and now you don’t need me. I don’t know how to handle that. What am I good for?

She shook her head. You are not listening to me, Tommy. I need you like I need air. But you have to let me need you and you must lean on me. You take everything and hold it in and then when it comes out, you are so lost. I need you every minute of every day, but I want you to need me as well. I have always fought with my feelings of not being an equal in our relationship and it’s because I rely on you so much. I can’t take it if I break you, she stroked his cheek and he held her hand in his and kissed her fingers.

I do see you as strong. I know what you handle and what you carry and I know you will do anything to save and protect those you love, even if it means putting yourself in danger, he sighed and she smiled.

You could be describing yourself.

He was quiet for a minute. You’re right.

I’m sorry, what was that? she grinned.

He rolled his eyes and she touched his lips. I love you, completely, and I will never stop needing you, she leaned in and pressed her mouth to his, pulling him close and feeling his need match hers.

We need to celebrate our anniversary, he whispered.

I know. Bill helped me with that one. We need to go back to the room so we can fill you all in on what we figured out, and then I plan on giving you a night to remember, she kissed him again.

We can just start now.

She winked at him. Nope, not yet. They began to walk out and she turned to him. And so you know, if you ever forbid me to do anything again, you will never have another night to remember.

He grinned. Point taken, he took her hand and they walked back to the room.

Chapter Three:

Brittany held Naomi and fed her while she and Bill filled the rest of them in on what they were thinking.

I think our mother is the key to what we need to know. We need to figure out a way to try and jog her memory. Maybe if Bill and I go see her with David, she will be reminded of herself and her husband and a young Bill. She seems to think of things as the past. If we show her some pictures of Nate and even Janet, maybe she will reveal something, Brittany said.

What if she doesn’t? What if all you succeed in doing is hurting yourselves again? Stephanie asked. Dementia is so unpredictable. You could be setting yourselves up for such heartache.

Bill smiled at her. I’ve had years of heartache when it comes to my parents and their reactions to me. I think it’s time both Brittany and I take control of this mess and try and turn the tide in our favor.

Tommy sighed. If you think it’s best. I just don’t think this will work out like you hope.

Jack crossed his arms. If she tells you anything, it won’t hold up in court, given her mental state.

But if she gives them something they can use to trip up Janet, it might work, Julie said as she held Josie.

I think we should all think on it tonight and tomorrow morning we can figure out how to go about doing this, Brittany smiled. I think it’s time we went to the hotel for the night and relaxed.

Tommy grinned at her and nodded before looking at Bill. Is the room all set?

Mike took care of it. You have the whole suite rented and there is extra security ready. They put in the list of things you told me for Naomi. Bill smiled. Have a nice evening.

We have Tramp for the night, so assuming Bee doesn’t play soccer with him, we should be just fine, Stephanie said.

I get to go home tomorrow, so that’s a bonus, although I need to see the specialist in the afternoon. Hopefully we can come up with a plan that helps me keep my sort of working kidney, she smiled, but they could all see her fear.

We’ll come with you, Jack and Tommy said together.

Julie smiled and wiped her eyes. You don’t have to.

You’re our baby girl, we want to, Jack said.

Bill smiled gratefully, knowing how much Julie needed them. All of you, go home and relax.

The friends nodded and left.

Bill looked at Josie who was asleep and he took her from Julie and placed her in the bassinette. He smiled at her and then looked at his wife. Move over, I’m coming in.

She chuckled and wiped her eyes, moving over for him. He lay his body on the covers and pulled her to him. Do you know how much I love you? he kissed her forehead.

I’m not sure, maybe you can remind me, she snuggled against his chest.

Well, I keep reminding myself, that no matter what happens, no matter how hard things get, I have the best, most amazing gift in your love. I look at you and I’m grounded in the knowledge that my life is perfect and beautiful, he ran his fingers over her cheeks and touched her lips. You are my everything.

She snaked her hand up around his neck and pulled his head to her, fusing his mouth with hers. He kissed her deeply and passionately and she pulled him down onto her.

Jules, we can’t do this, he murmured into her ear.

She felt his arousal against her thigh and her body ached for him. It’s been so long since we’ve been able to touch each other. I miss the feel of you against me, she whispered as she ran her hand down the length of his torso.

He grinned as he stopped her hand. If you don’t stop, I am not going to be able to.

So what?

We are in a hospital where people walk in all the time, not to mention our daughter is right here, he kissed her chin and moved down her neck.

So close the door and turn the bassinette away from the bed, she ran her hand down and brushed the bulge in his pants.

Shit, he got up and walked to close the door. He turned and she smiled at him. I’m glad you find this so funny, but I have a hard enough time walking in normal conditions. This is cruel, he saw her lick her lips and he rolled his eyes. You are not playing fair.

Are you going to come back to the bed or just stand there? Either way, I’m thoroughly enjoying this, she sat up more and pulled her gown down.

He walked to the bed and got in with her again. She moved to him and linked her fingers with his. I am so lucky you see fit to love me. I really overachieved.

She stroked his cheek as he continued, I believe things are going to start looking up. We deserve some normalcy, all of us do, and it’s time we get it.

I think it’s time we get something else, she said and pulled him to her again. They were interrupted by a nurse knocking on the door.

Mrs. Kastan? I need to come in, the nurse said.

Dammit, Bill jumped out of the bed and Julie pulled her gown up. He sat down on the chair and pulled Josie over to cover his obvious arousal.

The nurse opened the door and Julie smiled. What’s wrong?

Your heart rate suddenly increased according to the monitors and we need to check your vitals. Is everything okay? The nurse bustled in, oblivious to what was going on.

Everything is fine. My husband was just telling me about this beautiful new diamond he was going to buy me and I was excited. Sorry to have alarmed you, Julie grinned.

Really? What cut? How many carats? The nurse looked at Bill who wanted to be anywhere but there.

The details are a surprise, he said as he held Josie.

Would you like me to take your daughter to the nursery for a bit? she reached to take her.

Bill panicked. No, thanks, I would like a little more time before I leave, but thanks, he said.

Okay, but let me know if I can do anything to relieve your stress. You both need to take a load off. The nurse said and Julie grinned as she walked out. As soon as she was gone, Julie burst out laughing and Bill let out a deep breath.

That was priceless, she giggled.

You are cruel, he grinned. And I need to relieve some stress.

I can’t believe you used our daughter to conceal your ‘issue’, she wiggled her eyebrows.

He looked horrified. You’re so right. Do you think I scarred her for life?

Julie laughed. I think we’re good. She is two months old, so I am pretty sure her knowledge of such things is yet to be formed.

Bill studied his daughter. I’m sorry little Jo. Daddy needs better self control.

Julie shrugged. I think mommy needs to be faster next time.

He rolled his eyes. Nice.

I love you, she gazed at him as he cuddled their baby girl. It was simply the most beautiful vision.

We love you, too, he grinned.

Chapter Four:

Jack put Bee down for a nap after they picked her up and he locked the doors, making sure everything was safe. Tramp trotted after him, keeping watch over the house. He turned to go find Stephanie when he saw her standing there, wearing a tiny bra and panties.

He stood there and didn’t say anything, he just swallowed thickly.

You were taking forever. I have needs, she purred as she walked to him.

I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were waiting, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. I’m all yours.

Yes you are, and I want to show you something, she walked toward the bedroom. Are you coming?

He looked at his waist. Not yet I hope, he muttered and ran after her. His face broke out into a huge grin when he saw their room. She had a small wrapped box on the bed and she was sitting next to it. There were rose petals on the sheet and candles illuminating the room.

Stephanie, what is all this? he worried for a moment he forgot their anniversary.

You didn’t forget anything, she rolled her eyes, seeing the panic cross his face.

He grinned. I know that.

I got you something, she pushed the package towards him.

What’s the occasion?

Why do I need an occasion to get my husband a gift?

He smiled. You don’t.

Good, now come and open it.

He sat down on the bed and took the small present, unwrapping it and seeing a box from a jeweler. He looked at her with a questioning glance and then opened the box, revealing a beautiful pair of gold cufflinks. He took one out and realized it was a locket. He opened it and saw a tiny picture of Sabrina and the words ‘Daddy’s little princess’ engraved on the other side. He looked at her and his eyes were wet.

Look at the other one, she said softly.

He pulled the other one out and opened it, the picture was of them at their ultrasound of Thomas William and the engraving said, ‘Forever watched over by our tiny angel.’

Stephanie, I don’t know what to say. These are simply beautiful. Thank you, he stroked her cheeks and she took his hand and held it.

These last few weeks, we have seen our family struggle with so much pain and fear, and also love. I remember when I was pregnant with Bee and we were at the Pocono’s, you gave me a charm bracelet. Do you remember what you told me?

He smiled and pulled her onto his lap. I told you about the first time we kissed and how it was the first time I was ever at a loss for words. That kiss came out of a passion and intensity that I had never felt before and you have continued to bring that intensity out in me every day. I remember thinking about all of the time I spent alone in my life and how empty everything felt to me. You make everything so electric, so alive.

I explained the meaning behind the three charms. The first was a heart shaped out of brittle crystal pieces. It represented my life before I met you and how there was nothing holding me together. This second was a heart made of solid gold, but it was missing a piece. That was how you were when we met, so full of sadness at the loss you had suffered, but your strength of spirit held you together. The last charm made of gold and diamonds was solid and strong. It represented our love and our future. We were strong individuals, Stephanie, but we needed to remember how much stronger we were as a unit. I wanted you to look at the bracelet and feel that strength whenever you may need it.

She turned and kissed his cheek. You have a pretty good memory.

I remember every single moment of our life together, and I can’t wait for the next chapter, he said.

Me too, and that’s why I want us to always remember the good and the bad, the struggles and the triumphs. I am so honored to be your wife and Bee’s mom and I am incredibly blessed to be in this life.

He shook his head. You’re wrong. I’m the one who completely over achieved, he slowly moved the straps of her lingerie off her shoulders and leaned in to kiss her neck, stopping at her scar and wiping her tears which fell.

You are so beautiful, he murmured and pulled the bra the rest of the way off. She reached to his shirt and pulled it off, pulling him down onto her and connecting with him as only they could do. They needed nothing but each other, always.

******

You okay? Brittany asked Tommy as they walked to Naomi’s appointment.

Nodding, he smiled. Just thinking about how you inspire me.

Tommy, stop saying things like that. It’s not true.

But it is. Everything I am, every piece of strength I show comes from you. You teach me every day to live my life with grace and honor and I will continue to do so. You are my hero, he smiled softly and pulled her to him, kissing her and holding her tightly. Let’s go get our daughter her glasses and then I want some alone time with you.

She nodded as she wiped her eyes. I’d like that, too.

Tommy carried the car seat and they walked to the pediatrician. A little while later they were in the office and Tommy was sitting with Brittany who held Naomi. The doctor came in and explained how they were to use the glasses and the issues Naomi might have.

Most parents have a hard time keeping the glasses on, as many babies pull them off, but since Naomi has yet to really reach for things, that most likely won’t be an issue.

Brittany hated hearing things like that, but she knew he wasn’t trying to be mean. It was the truth, for now.

What should we do while she wears them? Will anything help her to focus? Tommy asked.

Talk to her and look directly at her. Holding bright toys in front of her can help as well. We are looking for little movements of recognition; a smile, a move to see something. Eventually we want her to reach for things and grasp objects. We will take it one day at a time, he smiled. Let’s try them on and make sure she isn’t uncomfortable.

Brittany nodded and she and Tommy stood up and placed Naomi on the small table. They both stood in front of her while the doctor placed the tiny glasses on her head. They were all quiet while she blinked and Tommy leaned over her and stroked her cheek.

Hey sweet baby, can you see daddy? he asked.

Mommy’s here, too. We love you, Brittany said as she leaned over with Tommy.

Naomi didn’t do anything, and they both sighed. It will take time. Go home and give her a little while to get used to them, he said and Tommy smiled as he walked out.

Brittany went to move when she yelped and Tommy jumped to her side. What’s wrong?

She has my hair. Tommy, she grabbed my hair! Brittany exclaimed and she smiled thorough her tears.

He picked his baby girl up as she held onto Brittany’s long locks and the family stood there while Naomi looked at them. Tommy kissed Brittany and then kissed Naomi’s cheek and the little girl laughed for the first time.

Chapter Five:

Julie watched Bill leave and smiled at Josie. She had permission for Josie to stay with her and Bill was picking David up for some father and son time. She held her daughter to her and rubbed her back, loving her full head of blonde hair. She knew most would fall out before she got more in, but it reminded her of a story growing up and she smiled.

I can’t wait for you to grow up and have your Uncle Tommy and Uncle Jack dote on you like they did on me. You are going to have the best life little Joe, and I can’t wait.

******

(13 Years ago)

It was the first big dance of Julie’s life and she was incredibly excited to go. Jack and Tommy were coming home from class in time to take pictures and she hoped not to embarrass her. She had been to get her hair done with her friend Melanie and she was doing her nails now before she got ready. She was hungry, but wanted to be sure she fit into her dress, so she opted for some chewing gum instead. She put on music and danced while she waited for her nails to dry. Her cell phone rang and she saw it was Andrew, her date. She worried about sounding like she was eating so she took her gum out and put it on the piece if paper she had behind her on her bed. She purred into the phone as she spoke to Andrew.

Alright, I’ll be ready. I know, I promise they won’t be like that again. My brother is a bit crazy and Jack just encourages him. No, it will be fine. Okay, see you soon, Julie hung up and fell back on her bed, smiling from her conversation. A look of horror suddenly came over her and she screamed.

******

Jack and Tommy came into the house together after class and were surprised to see the lights were off. She should be ready, don’t you think? Tommy asked Jack.

He nodded. Julie? Jack yelled.

He looked at Tommy and shrugged. They both went upstairs to see what happened and found her sitting on the floor, tears streaming down her face and her room a mess.

Jules, what happened? Did someone break in? Tommy asked her as they walked over.

She rolled her eyes. Yes, Tommy, someone broke in and only came to my room.

I don’t need your attitude, I need to know what happened, Tommy said.

My life is over, that’s what happened. I’m sorry if my attitude isn’t what you want. You don’t understand anything, she cried.

Jack looked between brother and sister and sighed. Julie, you have a dance to go to. You went and got your hair done with Melanie, right?

I can’t believe you brought up my hair, she sobbed into her hands.

Okay, this is ridiculous. Tell us what happened, Tommy said.

What happened? What happened? This is what happened, she stood up and turned around and they both stifled their smile. She had a huge clump of gum in her hair.

Oh, Jules, um, yeah, Jack said.

I can’t get it out and I can’t do anything. Andrew will hate me forever. I want to die, she put her head in her hands again.

So let’s get it out? Tommy asked. How hard is it to get gum out of hair?

Julie shook her hair. It’s impossible. I’ve tried everything and I can’t fix it. It’s useless.

Can we cut it out? Jack asked.

You are not cutting my hair. There is no salon open and you don’t know anything about hair, she cried.

Okay, so let me look it up on the Internet, Tommy said.

They watched him and his eyes lit up. Peanut butter. It says to rub peanut butter and it might come out.

No, Andrew is allergic. I’ll put him in the hospital, she whined.

Fine, no peanut butter, he grumbled. Wait, here, ice cubes. It says we can freeze the gum and see what happens.

There’s no time. Andrew will be here in 20 minutes.

Jack smiled as he looked at a magazine. I have an idea.

********

Julie looked at Josie who was smiling at her, like she understood the story. "Uncle Jack and Uncle Tommy piled mommy’s hair around the big pile of gum and put a beautiful clip that belonged to Grandma Juliana right over it. Everyone complimented me on how beautiful and unique my hair looked and they wanted to know how I got it to stay up so nicely. The next day we went to the salon and mommy had her hair cut short. It was one of a million amazing things they did for mommy. That’s what family does, little Jo, whatever they need.

*****

Its really a nice place, Brittany said as they arrived at the suite in the upscale hotel. Mike had arranged for guards outside the doors and there were specific staff assigned to the room.

Tommy nodded as he made his way over to the couch with Naomi. What would you like for dinner? The kitchen has a great menu, he handed her the paper.

I want to watch our baby watch us some more, she took out the glasses and placed them on Naomi’s little face.

She smiled as soon as she saw them and then yawned. Brittany shook her head. I wish we knew she needed these earlier. How long has her world been so fuzzy?

He brushed her hair behind her shoulder and smiled at his daughter. I think she tries to be strong like her mommy and doesn’t want to tell us when she needs something, he nibbled on her ear.

Or she takes after her daddy and waits until everyone else is taken care of before she thinks about herself, she grinned at him.

I think it’s time for Naomi to go to sleep for a bit, Tommy said and kept his eyes on his wife.

She took the glasses off of a sleeping Naomi and placed her in the crib by the bed. She smiled as Tommy’s arms wrapped around her from behind. She leaned back into him and sighed as she held his hands around her.

How do you feel? he whispered into her ear as he nuzzled her neck.

Like I never properly thanked my husband for making it through a year of marriage with me, she turned and wrapped her arms around his waist.

I think the two people I love more than life itself being in this room with me is quite the thank you, he smiled.

Okay then, goodnight, she grinned and went to walk away when he jumped to hold her.

Not so fast, he smiled and she faced him. I’m not tired.

Is that so? What do you want to do? she looked at him through lowered eyes.

Make love to my wife.

She pretended to think about it. I think that can be arranged.

He ran his hand behind her hair. Only if you feel up to it. I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t ready for.

If you can handle seeing the bruises still on my body, I would love nothing more than to make love with you. We just need to be gentle with each other, she said and pulled his shirt off, moving her mouth to his chest. She ran her hands through the hair on his chest and felt her eyes fill with tears at how much she loved him.

I can’t do this if you cry, Red. What is it? he tilted her chin up to look at him.

I know this year has been full of a lot of heartache and sadness, but when I look at who I was before I met you, I simply can’t express how much of a difference you have made in my life. I spent years envisioning what my life would look like when I got married and had a family and then everything changed in an instant and so much of my life seemed to be over. It wasn’t even on my radar to marry, let alone have children. I moved on, and made a life for myself, but I always wondered why I survived. I don’t mean my ability to heal, but the one thing I heard over and over, was how amazing it was that I fought to live. I struggled with that concept, she sat down on the end of the bed and looked at him.

He felt his own eyes fill as she spoke and he realized this was something she had never talked about, and for all he knew about what she went