Make Us Laugh, Funnyboy

By Griz Baer

From the beginning to today's date, this is a compendium of all the entertaining posts from the author's social media account. As he brings a point of view from the left side of the brain, it was written to entertain and bring a chuckle or two for the reader. Priced minimally, for the time it took to compile it all together.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Griz Baer
• Release date: Feb 16, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301982264

Griz Baer

First time writing a ebook, very interesting process... Hope to write another when time permits.

Book preview

Seems like the new in thing nowadays is to write an ebook; I have friends and acquaintances that have done just that, and they said it was a great experience, though saps much of the free time.

So with that idea in my head, I thought my first endeavor would be to put some of my favorite posts on Facebook down, and see what people thought of them. As my quite-plain looks and lack of adventure have not gotten me too far in life, I feel that my sense of humor hopefully makes up for it, and you might be able to catch that in my postings.

So here is a compilation of postings from the first to current, most random, many bizarre, and hopefully they entertain. And by the way, many times it says (My name) and then the post, I post as though in third-person, with my Facebook name as the lead-in. Author works for a local phone company, many of his work antics are from the day-to-day jobs…

Minimally charging for this ebook, hopefully to make up for the time of transferring to page, and correcting the multitude of grammatical and spelling errors that I have failed to fix from the start…

This fella would love to hear what you thought of this whole hot mess, here is my email, drop me a line:

[e-mail]

Checkout my new webpage, leave a cool celebrity story:

www.clebstories.com

Make us laugh, funnyboy…

By Griz Baer

Published by dbeswickLLC at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Griz Baer

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Beat repeatedly by a girl in judo class tonight…yeah…it happened.

(Lighting man card on fire with gas range…)

Getting’ more and more spam emails addressed from famous people…which is CRAZY, since I haven’t talked to Madonna in MONTHS…

Apartment undermine has a baby, and though the walls are fairly thick, I can hear it’s wailing very well…it’s getting to the point that if that mother doesn’t breastfeed the baby, I’m gonna do it MYSELF.

(Walking towards neighbor’s door, shirt in hand, as baby stops crying) CRISIS AVERTED.

It’s always nice to hang out with the gals in step class: talk about The View, say THAT’S MY JAM, HEYYYYYYYYYY repeatedly. But there is a seedy underbelly to that behavior, and tonight I experienced it: There is the distinct possibility that I will be eye blink material in the gym’s new commercial, dancing around the class like an effeminate hillbilly, and for that I am truly sorry…

(Reluctantly burning my Man Card…)

Black ice aplenty this morn, one gal miffed it while running on icy sidewalks by the MSU campus. Saw many bike riders ready to do the same…these youngsters need to pay attention when they step out of their front door. Difference between common knowledge and common sense…

(Coming to the startling realization that I have become my FATHER…)

Tire store on the corner of Elmwood and Saginaw street, high schoolers trying to make a buck with a car wash, not sure of the effort they are trying to pay for. High school gal is out in a…string…bikini bringing in customers. Don’t know if this is the best way to advertise, with underage girls bringing in the pervs, just something creepy about it.

(…as I am pulling out of the parking lot, car washed for the 4th time.)

Well, the ticket is bought…Shinedown and Godsmack in July…and if any of the members of said bands are listening…if you need one of the best TRIANGLE players money can buy on stage that night, giving his all? HAVE YOUR PEOPLE CALL MY PEOPLE.

(Writing only brown M&M’s in dressing room rider up on the computer…)

Saw my first Amish man riding horse and carriage in Gladwin MI today, turned my Foghat up high, so he could get a taste of what he was missing.

(My name) has never dropped it like it’s hot, though he once scalded himself quite badly on a Swanson chicken pot pie…

And, yes, I used to take the miniature tins that they came in and pretend I was a midget drummer…I have dreams and aspirations like everyone else.

Don’t judge, until you’ve played mini-drums in my shoes…

Today was a bittersweet day; got another car, but had to trade in my old tried-and-true Jetta in, almost didn’t go through with it. Told the dealer I’m gonna keep my baby…yeah…yeah…

(Solitary tear runs down my cheek)

After consulting numerous references, both online and print versions, I have come to the conclusion that the word shart is made-up…

(Humble author works for phone company…it gets me by)

My first job of the day, bending down to hook up a jack, head a large RIP. Blew out the crotch of my jeans…in Rudyard,