Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts: A Year of Brainsick Tweets From a Naive Idiot
    Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts: A Year of Brainsick Tweets From a Naive Idiot
    Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts: A Year of Brainsick Tweets From a Naive Idiot
    Ebook212 pages1 hour

    Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts: A Year of Brainsick Tweets From a Naive Idiot

    By Dan Burt

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts is a book for readers with short attention spans who like to laugh at inappropriate things. At times bawdy and sometimes naughty, it is a compilation of tweets and other posts (with pictures!) about some of my unbelievable experiences in 2012. You’ll read all about my strange menagerie of pets (both animals and plants), my frustrating interactions with family and inanimate objects, and my many attempts to contribute to this great planet with my unusual inventions and ideas.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDan Burt
    Release dateFeb 2, 2013
    ISBN9781301323463
    Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts: A Year of Brainsick Tweets From a Naive Idiot
    Author

    Dan Burt

    Dan Burt lives in Alabama with his wife and two sons. He is an ardent bibliophile and military veteran, having served as a member of a special unit of the U.S. Air Force during the Reagan Revolution patrolling the jungles of north Florida, protecting America from pygmy rattlesnakes and skinks. Dan was also a successful CEO of a phrenology busking business outside a local Chick-fil-A. He recently retired from the business with a coffee can full of change after being physically removed from the property. Dan has served as an expert witness in several of his own state and federal trials (42% "Not Guilty/Hung Jury" verdicts!). He is the creator and writer of the humor website Captain Canard, www.CaptainCanard.com. His weird, silly stories and cartoons have appeared in the hilarious humor anthology My Funny Valentine, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, errant parent, Opium Magazine, Monkeybicycle, Sweet Fancy Moses, Kittenpants, and several other literary venues both online and off. You can contact Dan at www.DanBurt.com or follow him on Twitter @danburt.

    Related to Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Chris Erskine: Life Is Stirring in Harvest Season

      Nov 21, 2017

      It's hardly a cowboy's life, hitting plastic buttons all day and plugging in various devices. Our dads and grandpas, who won world wars, would scoff. So when I have the opportunity to chop some onions and fry some pork, I jump at the chance to reesta

      3 min read

    • Article

      Why Grouchy, Rude 'Catwad' Is Catnip To Kids

      Jul 25, 2019

      Our monthly children's book column returns with a look at the dubious (to adults, at least) charms of cartoonist Jim Benton's grouchy feline Catwad, whose mastery of the anti-joke is catnip to kids.

      4 min read

    • Article

      Shailene Woodley

      Aug 30, 2020

      Shailene Woodley
      2 min read

    • Article

      Woman’s BEST FRIEND

      Dec 7, 2023

      Woman’s BEST FRIEND
      3 min read

    • Article

      I’m A Midlife DOGZILLA!

      Apr 2, 2024

      I ’m part of a trend. Not the one for super-stretchy big knickers, the one for having an only child and getting your other one from the Kennel Club. Now I have two boys – one is taller than me, the other is covered in mud and hurls tennis balls at my

      3 min read

    • Article

      Peter Griffin

      Jul 26, 2022

      Peter Griffin
      2 min read

    • Article

      Kind Of A Pig Deal

      Jul 13, 2023

      Kind Of A Pig Deal
      4 min read

    • Article

      Peter Griffin

      Jul 20, 2022

      Peter Griffin
      2 min read

    • Article

      Second Chances

      Jun 3, 2022

      Second Chances
      3 min read

    • Article

      In a class OF MY OWN

      Jan 29, 2020

      In a class OF MY OWN
      6 min read

    • Article

      My First Pet

      Feb 2, 2020

      My First Pet
      9 min read

    • Article

      Laugh!

      Mar 16, 2021

      Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk As we left the restaurant, my beautiful date whispered to me, “We should have dinner again.” I said, “No thanks. I’m full.” Submitted via email It’s been snowing for two days now, b

      2 min read

    • Article

      The Details Will Be Ours

      Jan 31, 2018

      The Details Will Be Ours
      21 min read

    • Article

      Lambs To The Laughter

      Feb 26, 2024

      Good news. The Lamb National is back on. What do you mean you have no idea what the Lamb National is? I suppose it is possible that not everyone is as obsessed with sheep as I am. If you are not, I suggest you take up sheep as an obsession as soon as

      3 min read

    • Article

      Season Of Goodwill? (You Might Need It)

      Nov 8, 2023

      CHRISTMAS is on the way and those of us with parrots have a lot extra to decide in the way of activities, extra food, presents, guests and so on. My first two parrots, the African greys Artha and Casper, taught me far more than I taught them. Althoug

      4 min read

    • Article

      Peter Sarsgaard

      Feb 9, 2020

      Peter Sarsgaard
      2 min read

    • Article

      You Talkin’ To Me?

      Mar 2, 2023

      You Talkin’ To Me?
      3 min read

    • Article

      Laugh!

      Jun 21, 2022

      Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk I’m annoyed that “cowards” doesn’t mean to move in the direction of cattle. Comedian ANDY RYAN Writing a letter to Father Christmas now because I don’t want to seem like one of thos

      2 min read

    • Article

      LeTtERbOcks

      Nov 17, 2022

      LeTtERbOcks
      11 min read

    • Article

      Josh Gao

      Aug 4, 2019

      Josh Gao
      3 min read

    • Article

      Somehow I Became Respectable

      May 21, 2019

      Somehow I Became Respectable
      4 min read

    • Article

      Laugh!

      Oct 18, 2022

      Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk Me: I hate U2. My pro Bono lawyer: This won’t work. JOHN DARBY, via Twitter Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have a pessimistic thought, I put a pound i

      2 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts - Dan Burt

      "cbook_preview_excerpt.htmlXێܸ`贽w0qz ۀGDItSLRQ# ߐkb$`KԩS\]o.M]UGxshcJ::L^堦hQIٓ3^v*{M7j0YuݚQu卩1@u58=:kBR!۲Nզ28(W̤F+CY8t\ È!?i}yEQGb}yE{C[wX1S|Pe~d@*ǑI&%!ռe2$+I>1%bnC0dMmJՍJ ,y>w!+RPl$1ض#+U3Qȍkh cD`$Nd#zU]] !-,UPx(g#\*.EZF' $N3L?Cg]*NjL|fƊ~4]yl2d/ru]Tqh t86O1 6d#u,q5~گqqkۂw[eY؈zCQ4`Ab;#j&A.՘8=Z7ЊgdV@ .71Bd31XzQCa:=`=B;-MO$E ԤZJ5¦ FWR 8Qq<V#ߠ~\ p>-u,HJbAvBzќ=B&ifOW?<~^D #Xp`q a3/@ FM;?t߽%/+3ï:;,6RK[z {ɺT(&ű^Z )}tڦ/@E!h,!NX UtA8Q|Q*Qi*0v S0Mh; z oDI̿ ub cj@(`r &ͭF@Qʨr0$ m+vK8^Fzj^x,\(AIZ^5@TΘ8bgFdBq_ܣTxE"ٚDc'hGEK_u݄uq)g\\y2% bF: .bG ]; ǃa\<M<̼:E{1*!-75JywVQTrUc^ߤla831 S_Ip/~1?lϭ@c־(#L v EZ4:w(B7=/bu(WHRI IG/AZm4FK2ftAiK^mve$|7Vk ڪ7nDbՋE.:茭\ ma|]
      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1