Smart Kids, Safe Kids

By Dr. Ajakai Hassler

Our world is crazier than you think. Kids are not as safe as you would hope. There are people out there who will hurt you if they get the chance. You need to be smarter than those who would hurt you.

Here’s the message – from me to you. I have worked with kids and adults who were hurt as kids for over 35 years. I’ll talk to you in this book the way I talk to kids in my office. You do need to be smart to live safely in this world. Living safely means connecting with a power bigger than yourself. It also means knowing what is going on around you all the time.

What I hope you get from this book is that you can and you must make yourself safe in this scary world. You will learn how to avoid trouble, what perpetrators are thinking and ways to outsmart them and help yourself if you need to. If worse come to worse, you will learn what to expect and the best ways to deal with it.

In this book there are stories of kids and adults who came to connect with their Higher Power while looking down the barrel of a 357 magnum, or being raped, or running naked down their street trying to get away from their kidnappers. They found strength in the worst situations they could imagine. They got smart the hard way. I want to help you learn to be smarter than those who would hurt you. Learning to connect above and around is the beginning.
Smarter is safer. You can be......here’s how.........

Intended for girls, age 12 and up, this book represents a culmination of Dr. Hassler's experience in helping clients recover from violence and her desire to create awareness in our youth in the hope of preventing similar tragedies.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dr. Ajakai Hassler
• Release date: Jan 24, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301345595

Dr. Ajakai Hassler

I have been helping people with their problems since 1967. I attended college and graduate school in Virginia and North Carolina, attaining a BA in Sociology, a MEd in Child Development and Family Relations and a PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy. I have taught in five universities and colleges and am the author of therapy manuals and mass market self-help books, as well as two limited edition art books. I am also a Clinical Fellow and Approved Supervisor in the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Along with my husband, Chuck, I am the co-owner of the Three Amigos Clinic in the Northern Rockies, in Powell, Wyoming. The clinic is located in a rural setting where mental health services have been scarce and it was built from the ground up to address human concerns that have been shelved for many years due to this lack. The clinic offers traditional talk therapies, EMDR, canine assisted therapy, horse assisted therapy, consultation and expert testimony to courts, seminars, research, and clinical supervision for other therapists.

Book preview

SMART KIDS ~ SAFE KIDS

Ajakai Hassler, PhD, LMFT

Copyright 2013 Ajakai Hassler

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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I offer telephone and email coaching.

http://www.ouronehope.com

307.272.3237

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DEDICATED TO MY TEACHERS

Those past, wounded and still missing -

you introduced me to the underworld.

To my animals and my family -

you showed me God’s Love.

To the owl –

our messenger and teacher in these pages.

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NOTE FROM AUTHOR

I use pictures of all kinds of animals when I write because I find that readers remember the words better if there are non-offensive images. I am serious about the words I wrote here because they are connected to potential serious injury and life or death. The pictures are offered to help you remember you can make yourself safe at all times. ~Ajakai Hassler, PhD

DISCLAIMER

The information in this book is appropriate for persons age 12 and up. Please be aware that there are graphic word pictures and sexual content throughout and this can cause emotional upset or intense fear in the reader. The best use of these ideas is in discussion between the reader and her parents. Readers are advised to take breaks from reading if they are feeling upset.

All persons in this book are composites from human stories; actual names and stories have been changed to protect privacy and confidentiality.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1 ~ Disappeared. What Kids Think and What Can Happen

Chapter 2 ~ Just How Big is Big? The Problem of Kids Disappearing

Chapter 3 ~ Who Are These Guys Who Take Kids?

Chapter 4 ~ What is Abduction, Kidnapping, Sexual Assault, Rape...

Chapter 5 ~ What Can I Do About It?

Chapter 6 ~ What You Think About Yourself Matters

Chapter 7 ~ How Perps Get To Kids

Chapter 8 ~ Snatched!!!

Chapter 9 ~ Home Again

Chapter 10 ~ Always Do…., Never Do….

About the Author

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INTRODUCTION

Just how smart are you? In what ways? When you know you are smart in several ways, you probably feel pretty good about yourself and that is great, right?

Today there is a new kind of smart and you need it. So do all your friends. This new smart does more than make you feel good – the NEW SMART means you make yourself safe no matter where you are. No matter what has happened in the past, no matter who likes you and who doesn’t, no matter if you are mad at the whole world. What you don’t want to do is step off a cliff because you weren’t up to thinking about what could happen and where you could end up. You don’t want to walk around in a fog, either, thinking, everyone else will make me safe. I don’t have to do anything about that. God is in charge and nothing bad can happen. I do not need to worry. If all you look and think about is your friends, stuff you want, cute guys, or looking hot then you are not safe. That can change now. It has to change because your world has many terrifying places.

If you are not smart about keeping yourself safe – then you are not safe. You can suffer big time. You can die from being stupid, from not knowing what goes on around you. You do not need to worry all the time; you DO need to know what can happen. When I say you, I mean all you girls, ages 12-100. Yep, your personal safety is your business and it is now all up to you. Younger ones will need help from mom and dad to be safe but there are still things they can learn. You may find yourself in a position where you will be asked to protect the little ones.

Hello girls, my name is Dr. Ajakai Hassler, and I am a counselor. I have worked with girls for more than 35 years. Not one of them knew how to make herself safe, neither did I. Not one knew it was her own job. So we worked on it. I testified as an expert witness for many of these girls; but most of their situations were overlooked by the people trying to help them. Nothing was done by the legal system: charges were dropped, and their pain was ignored by their communities. They carried the pain like a sack of big rocks—many for years.

THINGS HAVE CHANGED

I am not sure how it went downhill, but I am looking at what you are up against and this is what I see. Let me warn you that this book will be gross and embarrassing for some of you. I am going to be blunt and I will not hide the scary truth. IT IS TIME TO FACE REALITY SO YOU CAN BE SAFE.

Today’s society makes you feel good if you look hot. At school and among your friends, if you know a lot about sex or have experimented with it, then your friends listen to you. The last thing you want to do is look stupid—like you don’t know stuff. Your world invites you to be the sexiest you can be to please someone else. You talk sex to each other and hope that guys will think you are hot. You think that leads to a permanent relationship with a guy who you can say anything to. You think, He said he will be there for me, no matter what. He said he would.

One guy I know, who is 14, texted a girl he barely knew and told her, I will let you date me if you send me a picture of your tits and have sex with me. His problem was he was texting an 11 year old who had borrowed her older cousin’s phone and posed as that cousin. Her answer was ok. The cousin caught this one in time. She took the phone, called the guy, and told him who he was talking to, who was on the phone now, and not to call again.

HOW IS THE WORLD AROUND YOU?

Today’s world is full of selfish people who will use or abuse you if that works for them. They are sick. The problem with these sexual predators is enormous and much bigger than we think. You can have a neighbor who is a convicted sex offender; you can have a family member who is a convicted sex offender. I had one. This person is a woman. Surprised? Don’t be—just get smart.

AROUND YOU ARE CREEPS, SEXUAL OFFENDERS (NOT CAUGHT YET), KIDS WHO JUST WANT TO TRY SEX, KIDS WHO WANT TO HAVE SEX A LOT, SEXUAL PREDATORS - BOTH MALE AND FEMALE. THEY DO NOT…. REPEAT… DO NOT LOOK LIKE CRIMINALS. THEY LEAD TWO LIVES: A PUBLIC LIFE AND LIFE OF HARMING INNOCENT PEOPLE. Like you! Like me!

A sexual predator is someone who uses others for sexual pleasure; sexual predators kidnap, rape and often kill the girls or women they abduct. Abduct means kidnap. A perpetrator or perp is one who abuses another person. Often the perp repeats his crimes because it feels good to him. There is no concern for any of their victims—not one drop.

Any one of these things can happen to you if you are not smart about your own safety. In this book, I want you to see the danger around you. I want you to outsmart the people who want to assault you sexually, hurt or kill you. I want you to see how crazy the world is and still walk in it safely. SMART KIDS ARE SAFE KIDS. YOU NEED TO BE ONE.

Here are the facts. One in three girls experience sexual abuse; even more are abused physically and emotionally. One in seven boys experience abuse as children, too. These experiences do not make you smart. Instead they set you up to be a victim. If you don’t work at being smart, you become less careful and more likely to put yourself in harm’s way. No kidding! If you have been hurt by a sexual predator, you are more likely to get hit on again. SO GET SMART! CONNECT ABOVE WITH YOUR FAITH