Jurassic Prick (Fungus #2)

By Sergio Tell

There's trouble in Melbourne again, and Victoria's new assistant police commissioner, the Panamanian Alberto Zapata, is back on the case.

A new airline with onboard casinos is sucking money from the people's pockets, prompting an array of offbeat community groups to take to the streets in protest. And under suspicious circumstances, the city's existing casino is trampled into dust by an elephant stampede.

Zapata is sent to investigate. Meanwhile, Cucumber Gutierrez and his neighbor Kootis watch the drama unfold using a new invention, Commissioner Randhall redeems himself with an impressive feat of heroism, and the prick premier and his oily puppet master are ready for their just desserts.

"Jurassic Prick" is the latest madcap adventure, full of Spanglish humor, from the author of "Broom, Broom" (now available here FREE). Keep a look out for the next episode, "China, Please Give me More," coming soon.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nameless Books
• Release date: Dec 1, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301688678

Sergio Tell

Sergio Tell was born in Buenos Aires. Having never felt comfortable in any language or country, he changes them both all the time. He currently lives in Australia, not having enough petrol to leave. Sergio was expelled from kindergarten for attempting to kiss his teacher, and so was not accepted into primary school. In Australia, not finding anyone he wanted to kiss, he managed to graduate university and become a lecturer in drama. He has also been a performer, appearing in "State Coroner," "The Adventures of Lano & Woodley," and "Marshall Law." Once he got free of schools, and out into the world to “achieve goals,” he learned that the devil is a frequent flyer on this life's journey, and always sits down next to you on the plane. Only smiles and laughter can keep him away; he is allergic to them. Sergio hopes his stories will help readers smile and laugh, and put their devils to rest.

Book preview

Jurassic Prick

Sergio Tell

Smashwords edition

Copyright © 2012 by Sergio Tell

All rights reserved

v.20121130

Contents

Jurassic Prick

About the author

More by Sergio Tell

Copyright

GOD CREATED MAN in a way that the soul, the body, and all that blah, blah, blah, could fit in the world. All the philosophies say there is place for everyone in this world: good, bad, evil, cakemaker, petty officer. Earth is place for everyone.

But why God created us so small? Was he saving skin or bones? Or did the teachers told him, Saving is the secret of the future so don’t waste brain, skin or bones on those stupid humans when you will create them?

Three months ago, I fall down twelve meters and broke everything, even the filth under my nails. If God had given me wings, when I jumped and before I fell down I could fly away. Or if when he created us instead of being respectful and making shit coming out of as after we eat, he could make us instead fart with pillows coming out, we wouldn’t break ourselves when we fall.

Or… Aaahhh, listen—if God would have given us the size of the elephants… Aaahhh, what a pleasure! I am not exaggerating. But not… He should not give us the size of a dinosaur because today is not space for 6,973,738,433 dinosaurs.

I mean, just elephants. Such a beautiful creatures they are.

I can imagine myself with a big trunk, eating all the cakes my cousin and auntie are doing. After that, to stop my cousin and auntie being kicked out of Panama, as an elephant I push them with my bottom to the wall so they don’t make any more trouble.

When I had such inspirational moments as this, thinking of how God could save me from this terrible accident, I love to listen tango music very loud and dance tango in my flat.

While dancing I forget everything, but suddenly I hear a noise in the little balcony. It was my Chinese neighbor Da Xia. She was beating the glass of the entrance door