Rejoice On The Road

By Bob Steinkamp

Bob loved to travel. This book was born out of a 5,000 mile road trip. While Bob was was driving to a marriage conference and then his return home the Lord spoke to Bob.

There is nothing remarkable about a man taking a trip, except that in 1995 Bob suffered a stroke that left him paralyzed. The doctors were preparing his wife, Charlyne, for a husband confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

Our mighty God restored Bob's health. Since that time, he has suffered another stroke and has undergone brain surgery. Each time, God has brought His healing touch to the Steinkamp home.

Miracles of healing were nothing new to the Steinkamps. In 1985, their marriage of nineteen years was paralyzed by a divorce. Charlyne turned to the Lord for His healing touch. Two years later, Bob and Charlyne were remarried to each other.

After his recovery, Bob desired to attend a marriage conference in Tulsa, Oklahoma. His medical condition did not allow him to fly, so he drove, alone. Throughout that journey, the Lord spoke to Bob, reminding him time and time again, how precious was his health and his marriage. Rejoice on the Road is a report of that journey that will bless and encourage you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 1, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301770038

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IN APPRECIATION

We give praise and honor to our Heavenly Father that He allowed Bob to travel and to write this book. We also praise the Lord that He watched over Bob and gave him safe travel all along the way.

It has taken the help of many people for this manuscript to become a book. Most of these are men and women who are praying and standing with God for their prodigal spouse.

Dr. Conley McMullen has helped us edit several projects in the past was joined in editing this book by Sylvia Ortiz. We greatly appreciate the encouragement and suggestions we received from both of these faithful standers.

The art work of Karen Lewis appears on this book cover, as well as on other several other Rejoice Ministries books. We always look forward to what Lord has given this talented artist for each new project.

We also very much appreciate those who have read copies of this manuscript for us. The prayers and contributions of those who helped print this book are gratefully acknowledged.

Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp

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DEDICATION

This book, written for people standing with God for the restoration of their marriages, is dedicated to all the men who will not give up on their covenant wives. It is especially dedicated to three of those men whose special gift of encouragement has touched my life. It is also dedicated to each of their wives.

Dr. Conley McMullen is a college professor and writer in Virginia. He is also a stander. Conley, who has edited several of our books, seems to know exactly the right time to add a note on the page margin, or to send an email of encouragement. During the weekend when this book was being completed, Conley sent an email requesting that I give Charlyne a hug on behalf of all standers.

Chuck Stranger, a local stander here in Florida, is the big brother to the women who attend Bible study with us each Monday evening. In addition, he volunteers to help us many evenings. If you have ever received a tape from Rejoice Ministries, Chuck probably had a hand in its being mailed. We can make any request of him (and we have made some strange ones) and he is always ready to help.

Dennis Wingfield is my standing brother in Michigan. He prepares a weekly email newsletter for other male standers. Dennis also serves on the Board of Rejoice Ministries, Inc. and spends hours each week encouraging male standers by email.

I thank God for these men. The Lord has allowed me a small glimpse of what the disciples must have meant to Jesus, through Conley, Chuck, and Dennis. My brothers, I love you. Thank you for holding up my arms when they become weary.

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CHAPTER 1

IT IS HARD TO LEAVE

Leaving home is hard to do. Unlike the time I became a prodigal spouse and left home for the far country in 1985, this time I am packing for a road trip that will be fun. Nevertheless, I will be making my journey alone, and while packing this morning I have almost convinced myself to forget even going.

I called ahead for motel reservations and was quoted a price about fifty percent higher than I had anticipated. Forget it, I’m staying home. The mate about to become a prodigal also counts the cost of leaving. As I continued to pack, I see one thing after another that needs to be done before I am out of here. The potential prodigal, likewise, sees things that need to be done. Perhaps it is raising children, or a special family date. For some, it is even the approaching birth of a child.

At this point it would not take much to convince me to stay home. At the packing point in my prodigal journey, it would not have taken much to have convinced me to forget leaving. You might be like my wife, Charlyne. I had put her through so much that the thought of my being out of her life was a welcomed relief. Hurting spouses all around the world have discovered what she discovered after our divorce: It does not get better without a mate.

Somewhere there is a husband or wife saying Yes, but what if ..., or My spouse is ...., What should I do? Please ask our Lord God and seek His perfect direction alone. The advice of the Steinkamps, or of any other person, might be incorrect. God’s direction will always be perfect.

I hurt so badly that I don’t know how to even hear God, so I have to depend on what other people tell me. No, my friend, you do not. God promises that He will lead and direct each of us. If you are having trouble hearing from God, there is a wealth of material available for you, but I have a suggestion that is less expensive than buying books, and is available to you right now. Put this book aside, and pick up the Bible. Pray and ask God to lead you to where He would have you to read. Tell the Lord what questions you need answered. Open the Bible, and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit as you read. Don’t simply grab one verse, and when that does not answer your question, flip to another. Open the Bible and begin to read. Along the way, ask the Lord Is this for me?

You will experience what Charlyne describes as, verses leaping off the page at her. I pray that you will soon become a student of the Word of God, as He uses that means to speak truth to you.

When we set out to pack and leave home, be it for the far country, or for a vacation, we try to take as much as possible, to make things seem as much like home as possible. It seems that everywhere I turn this morning there is something else that I should take, just in case I need it. Everything that I take from home for my journey will be a small reminder of a loving wife and cozy surroundings.

I did not wake up this morning and decide to take this trip. The details were only sketched in, but my travel has been in my thoughts for some time now. A spouse does not suddenly leave home. Their details may only be sketched in, but that journey which will end in the pigpen of life has played out in their mind for some time.

There is something else about leaving home that we tend to forget. We recall only what seems good, but not the obstacles. Sitting at my computer, I can bring to mind scores of good events that will take place. Somehow, the trucks, hot roads, and dirty restrooms escape my thoughts. Once I encounter them this afternoon, they will be foremost in my mind.

I cannot understand why we prodigals leave home when we are so hesitant to do so. Yet, I can understand. Satan, the enemy of the family, plants his subtle thoughts. Left unchecked, we allow that passing selfish thought of a happier life to take root. The idea of leaving makes the progressive journey from head, to heart, to the hand, and before you know it, someone else is packing, to the delight of Satan.

What is the role of the spouse when their mate is packing? Fourteen years ago, Charlyne screamed, threatened, and was angry. Today she is praying for me.

Now wait a minute, you say, This is different. You are going on a trip this time and know about when you will be back. True, but I am married to a different woman this time. If I were packing right now to be moving out, Charlyne would still be praying, asking God to protect me. That is the kind of wife that every man needs. That is the kind of wife that we just can’t stay away from very long.

But she knows when you will be back. Yes, and if you have a prodigal spouse right now, we know when the one you love will be back: When God brings them home. It will not be your begging, or a pastor turning on them, nor sex, nor material things that will bring home the one you love. It will be our Holy God. He will do His work of grace at a time when all human efforts have failed, so that He might receive all glory and praise.

I have an idea. May I invite you to take that right front seat in the van and travel with me? We won’t be on the road too many days, and I know the Lord will have blessings to share that will encourage both of us. In fact, I will put the cassette recorder and laptop computer there and just consider that you are with me all along the way.

All aboard. We leave in fifteen minutes.

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CHAPTER 2

LANDFILLS OR DUMPS?

For some reason, the landfill (that’s a fancy name for the dump) in our area is located alongside the Turnpike. The northbound motorists also pass another landfill 40 miles away in Palm Beach County, and then a third near Fort Pierce, 60 miles on up the road. It is possible to be riding along and dozing (hopefully, not the driver) and tell by the smell what community you are passing through.

When you come to Florida, the landfills can be recognized not only by the odor, but also because they are the only hills in South Florida. We have become so modern that our mountains of junk are now covered with grass.

The landfills are different from when I was a kid. Back then, a trip to the dump with my dad usually included getting stuck in the sand, and a flat tire. Those trips also included at least one found treasure to bring back home. My find would usually end up going back to the dump on the next trip.

If you are in a covenant marriage, and your spouse has found someone else, they are playing in the dumps of this world. Many have picked up what another person has discarded. That person who walked away from that marriage did not realize they were throwing away something valuable.

We have become so modern that junk is solid waste, going not to the dump, but to the landfill. All across America, tremendous efforts are made to stop filling up of our landfills. Why doesn’t society become alarmed about the dumping of covenant mates that takes place?

Dumps have a new name, and we also now call adultery and fornication, affairs. The concealing grass of divorce might be covering the whole mess, but underneath it is still sin.

May the day soon come when God convicts your spouse that their priceless treasure of a covenant mate is right at home, praying and waiting.

The one you love will not be happy for long playing with someone else’s discard. May that person’s covenant mate also realize they have thrown away something to be treasured and go seeking their discarded spouse.

If Jesus tarries, many generations down the road, my grandson’s grandson will be asking, Grandpa, where did the big mountain come from?

I don’t know.

Grandpa, what is a divorce?

I don’t know that either. I only know it’s something that God hates.

That, my friend, is one of the reasons why you stand today for your marriage to be touched by God and restored. Don’t give up.

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CHAPTER 3

DON’T TURN AROUND

The trip odometer indicated to me that I had traveled only about 10 percent of the way to my destination. Ahead of me, the customary blue skies and billowing soft white clouds were quickly being replaced by thick, dark threatening storm clouds. If I had followed my first instinct, I would turn around at the first opportunity. Instead of that, thinking about my destination, I continued on, straight into what looked like a terrible storm.

I scanned the horizon for funnel-shaped tornado clouds, but saw none. The only storm area anywhere around was directly in front of my car. I knew the car was in good shape, and would not leak. We had new wiper blades, and the brakes had recently been repaired.

Although the oncoming vehicles had their headlights on, and bore evidence of having just come through rain, I encountered none. The turnpike road turned sharply to the east, directly away from the approaching storm.

Could you be where I have just been? It seems like you have been traveling forever toward a healed family, yet you see signs that there is still a long way to go. Then the big storm appears on the horizon. You are tempted to just give up. I can promise, on God’s Word that the Lord will lead you safely through that storm you face, if you don’t turn around.

Approaching that mess a few minutes ago, I thought about another day when the skies turned black. It was following the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. He died to give life to you and me, and to our spouses. The sky was black today so that we can each face a bright future, even when the storms of life are approaching. Don’t give up and turn around. The Lord will see you through.

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CHAPTER 4

TWINS

Florida’s Turnpike was a busy place in the pre-holiday week. To locate a parking place in the Orlando service plaza, I had to loop around and park headlong in front of another van. The side door was opened and a female was busy strapping two babies into a dual stroller. I noticed that the little guys looked identical. Since I had to walk by where she was, I asked if they were twins. Yes they were, and only 11 months old. I told the unknown mom about our twin grand babies that I had to leave when they were two days old. She and I talked for half a minute about twins. There seems to be a fraternity that parents of twins all enjoy. I think they allow grandparents in also. While we chatted, I noticed that her van was stuffed full with clothing and personal items. The front passenger seat was even piled as high as the top of the seat. Obviously, she was traveling with her twins alone. We parted and I saw a mom pushing a twin stroller carrying two fuzzy-headed, smiling babies into the plaza. By now, you must have the same question as I had that day: Where was Dad?

I saw that van again lumbering along near Gainesville, Florida. The twins’ mother had said she was from a city near us. They were now 300 miles from home. As I passed them, I had to pray for that family. Somewhere there is a dad, either heartbroken at having to be separated from his family or one who has turned his back on them. What will the two little guys grow up to be? Why isn’t daddy there to smile back at them? Father, please save our families, for the sake of the little ones. Amen.

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CHAPTER 5

SPECIAL

The coffee spot in this Turnpike service plaza was one of the fancy ones who seem to have everything except for a cup of coffee on the wall menu board. When it was my turn, I asked the middle-aged lady waiting on me for, a cup of plain coffee and one of the long things on the top shelf. She called out an Italian name beginning with an a that I still cannot pronounce.

There’s nothing very special about you, is there? she joked with a hearty laugh. Coming from her, it was funny. Had I attempted to make that joke, it probably would have been insulting. I laughed, paid too much for my coffee, and headed back to the car.

While attempting to buckle the seat belt, without spilling that scalding cup in my lap, I thought that I should have replied: Honey, you are wrong. I am very special to my wife and to my Lord. Both continued to love me with unconditional love at a time when I should have been dumped quicker than yesterday’s coffee. By the way, is that what I am drinking? That fancy title must mean ‘yesterday’s coffee.’ This stuff is strong.

Sitting behind the wheel, typing, I observed a lone pigeon, avoiding car tires while searching for his noon meal in the parking lot. I do not imagine that the pigeon is in counseling or on antidepressants. Just as the scriptures tell us, he was neither toiling nor worrying, yet God seemed to have provided every bird meal that he needed. How I pray that I could be like that little, feathered guy by not fretting and worrying.

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CHAPTER 6

COWS AND SIGNS

My friend, Wes, once told his young daughter that he was not coming home until cows fly. When the daughter told her standing mother, she heard, "Well, I guess there are going to be