Finding The Way Home

By Bob Steinkamp

“On the day that I suddenly remarried my wife over 20 years ago, I was in torment, needing a solution and not a sermon. These pages share what I needed to hear on that day.” – Bob

In Finding the Way Home, returned prodigal Bob Steinkamp shares how it felt to know in his mind, he should go home to his family, even if his heart was not willing. Bob also shares how your spouse can be reconciled to God. In this process your marriage can be restored to the way God created marriage.

Bob will show you and/or your spouse -

•That God can heal the past hurts and wounding you or your spouse brought into your marriage that may have contributed to sinful behaviors.

•How you or your spouse can walk away from a sinful relationship.

•How you can change your perspective and see your spouse through the eyes of Jesus.

•The ways you can invest into your marriage to make it what God planned it to be.

A Note from Charlyne –

My prayer is that this book will be read by every stander and their prodigal who has left home. Jesus tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that there is a way of escape. Many prodigals just need to be reminded of that. Ask God to prepare you to be ready for your prodigal’s return. Who else in your life needs to know that they have not gone beyond the reach of our Lord?

One Review:

As a prodigal turned stander, this book touched my heart in many ways – and was spot on with the truth about how prodigals struggle despite how the circumstances appear! While out in my wilderness, God very SUDDENLY spoke to me one night as I sat in a bathtub, sick from a night “out” -- and ordered me to GO HOME and RESTORE my marriage and heal my family. Now, I am standing for a spouse who not only divorced me but is deeply wounded by my actions. Read this book, prodigal or stander...it will open your eyes to many truths and God will use it to deepen your faith in His mighty power to turn even the most stubborn prodigal homeward. God is in control. - Reviewed by: T from Texas on 4/8/2015

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 12, 2012
• ISBN: 9781452436074

Book preview

FINDING THE WAY HOME

A book not about prodigal spouses, but for prodigals

'But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and alive again; he was lost and is found' Luke 15:32

By Bob Steinkamp

(Returned prodigal husband)

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Finding The Way Home

By Bob Steinkamp

Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.

Post Office Box 10548

Pompano Beach, Florida 33060 USA

[phone]

www.RejoiceMinistries.org

www.StopDivorceRadio.org

www.StopDivorce.org

All rights reserved under International Copyright Law. Contents may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form without the express written consent of the publisher.

Scripture quotations in this book are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission.

Published by Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2008 by Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dedication

About The Cover

Introduction

Foreword

Terms Used

Prodigal Of The Prodigal Son

Chapter 1 - Let's Make A Deal

Chapter 2 - What Happened To Cause All Of This

Chapter 3 - The Enemy's Big Bull's Eye - Ministry

Chapter 4 - The Other Person

Chapter 5 - Ten Reasons Why Things With The Other Person Would Not Have Worked Out

Chapter 6 - Non-Covenant Spouses And Children

Chapter 7 - I Feel No Love

Chapter 8 - Both Worlds

Chapter 9 - How Do I Start Home?

Chapter 10 - Shame

Chapter 11 - How Do I Stay Home?

Chapter 12 - Lost And Found

Chapter 13 - Things May Not Be Like They Appear

Chapter 14 - First Thing In The Morning

Chapter 15 - Behind The Bedroom Door

Chapter 16 - Following Jesus

Chapter 17 - Rebuilding The Trust

Chapter 18 - Sonny Has Two Homes

Chapter 19 - I Hate Divorce

Chapter 20 - Ten Reasons To Go Home

Chapter 21 - Bad Dreams

Chapter 22 - Going Green - The ABC's Of Environmentally Friendly Marriage Restoration

Chapter 23 - Paying The Price

Chapter 24 - Dinner At Six

Epilogue

The Time Line

Bobinitions

Charlyne's Favorite Scriptures For A Healed Marriage

The Final Word

Meet The Steinkamps

The Greatest News

Ten Sources Of Help

Connect With Rejoice Marriage Ministries

DEDICATION

This book, from one prodigal to another, is dedicated to the 14 members of my family. Foremost, it is dedicated to my wife and best friend, my co-laborer and lover, Charlyne. If every wounded spouse could discover the help in Christ that my wife found, and take an unwavering stand for marriage restoration, never looking back and never threatening to give up on a prodigal spouse, the divorce rate would plummet.

The book is also dedicated to our three children, Tim, Lori and Tom, now grown and with families of their own. Praise God that your Mom stood strong to break the curse of divorce in our family. May God bless you three and your spouses, Patti, Scott and Kathleen, for your love and for all you do for Mom and me personally, as well as, for the ministry. The six of you are blessings from God.

I also dedicate this divorce-stopping book to the seven of the best grandchildren in the world, Allyson, Kyle and Kayla, Madison, Ryan, Samantha and Ashley. Each of them loves Jesus and understands the importance of helping to save families. All seven are in and out of our home and office frequently. Their visits help with projects, and their little quips often make my day. Guys, stay close to Jesus as you grow up and know that Grandma and I are praying for you and for the people that you will someday marry.

I want to also dedicate this book to the many people it takes to carry a vision into printed form. Our friends contributed money and many hours toward this effort. This dedication is also extended to Jill McGreevy, our Ministry Assistant, who found time, in addition to her other work, to help us publish Finding The Way Home. May God bless each of you for your friendship and your support.

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ABOUT THE COVER

Between where these words are being typed, on Florida's southeast coast and where they will be printed, on Florida's southwest coast, lie 4,000 square miles of sawgrass and swamp, in an area known as the Florida Everglades.

A few weeks from now, when the book printing is completed, my wife, Charlyne, and I will travel across the Everglades on a highway known as Alligator Alley and bring back a van full of books. The work you now hold in your hands will have literally been in the Florida Everglades.

From time to time people become lost and stranded in the Everglades. Most are rescued because someone comes alongside to show them the way out.

A scene from the Florida Everglades has been selected for the cover of this book as a reminder to you that there is a way out of your present circumstances of a failed marriage.

I cannot promise that you will not end up without a few mosquito bites, but Charlyne and I stand alongside you today to help you find the way home. You need not struggle in the swamp of separation, strife and sadness any longer.

Let's start finding our way back home!

Bob

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INTRODUCTION

This morning I awoke before 6:00 A.M. thinking about a couple we will have dinner with tomorrow evening. The wife has been attending our local Bible study for several months, praying for the return of an absent husband. The husband called me a few days ago. Deep inside, he wants to find his way home but is hesitant.

As I lay in bed, I thought about what I will tell that man when the four of us have dinner. He knows what is right and what is wrong, so it is not my place to pile more guilt on him. I need to be practical and not preachy with him.

I thought about which of the 18 books God has allowed my wife, Charlyne and me to write that I could take to him. There are really none that give the answers this man is seeking. At 5:58 A.M. on a rainy Florida morning, God planted the thought in my spirit to write a book, not about prodigal spouses, but for prodigal spouses.

On the day that I suddenly remarried my wife, more than 20 years ago, I was in torment, looking for a solution and not a sermon. These pages share what I needed to hear on that day. By design, this will be heavy on illustrations and personal incidents. Our other books contain scores of scriptures, but that is not what you are reading here. If you will read on, you will find help for your journey home.

As I write, I am praying the person who reads this book will ask God if they belong back at home with their praying spouse. If you ask, God will show you the way home.

Bob Steinkamp

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FOREWORD

There is hardly a way to describe this book. As a prodigal who has been through the fire, this book is a must read for both folks involved in the misfortune of going through separation or divorce.

Bob has done an outstanding job of touching on all the emotions that one goes through. When I was reading this book, I was dumbfounded at how some of the stories or things said were just like my situation. I literally thought Bob had been listening to some of my conversations.

I hope and pray that this book will find the hands of many prodigals long before it reached mine. It has helped me in many ways by knowing that I am not out there on an island all by myself. There are other people who are going through the same trials and struggles of marriage that the devil puts in our way.

Bob, I thank the Lord for laying this book upon your heart and for Rejoice Marriage Ministries and what it has meant to so many struggling souls.

Blake

(A former prodigal, now praying for his marriage)

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TERMS USED

Prodigal - A name used to describe a person who has left their family. Not a demeaning term, it is based on the Parable of the Prodigal Son that Jesus told, recorded in Luke, Chapter 15. We like that name because in the Bible, after the prodigal went home, he discovered the happiness he had been seeking.

Far Country - Another phrase borrowed from Luke 15, which describes the land the prodigal went to after leaving home, in search of happiness.

Stander - A term often used to describe one who is like the father in the parable of the prodigal son, a person who is trusting God to bring their prodigal spouse home.

Marriage Restoration - A process and not an event. I went home out of obedience to God, not out of love for my wife. Over twenty years later, God is still restoring our marriage.

Spiritual Journey - The ongoing process of finding God's will for your life and then doing it, step by step.

Non Covenant Marriage - An attempt to legalize adultery by exchanging vows with the third person in a relationship, when the original spouse is praying for and seeking God's restoration of the covenant marriage. Non covenant relationships are not a hindrance to God's restoration of a marriage to a covenant spouse.

Non Covenant Children - Children born into non covenant marriages or as the result of an affair. They enjoy God's special blessings and are not a hindrance to the restoration of a covenant marriage.

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PARABLE OF THE PRODIGAL SON

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he

Reviews for Finding The Way Home

[Shanda · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Transparent and filled with hope, faith, and God's truth....with Grace!

[Omowunmi Demuren Olarinre · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Very practical and well written book. May God bless the Steinkamps richly.