Pray Big for Your Marriage: The Power of Praying God's Promises for Your Relationship

By Will Jr. Davis

Marriage is one of the most important relationships in a person's life--and one that benefits tremendously from prayer. Will Davis has taught people how to pray big for even the little things in life. Now he turns his straightforward and practical communication style to the marriage relationship.
In Pray Big for Your Marriage Davis helps readers combine God's teachings on marriage with his promises on prayer. He shows men and women how to pray specific, pinpoint prayers for their spouses. Complete with a month-long prayer plan, Pray Big for Your Marriage teaches readers how to pray for
• emotional and spiritual intimacy
• the spiritual growth of a spouse
• purpose in marriage
• protection from temptation
• and much more
Pray Big for Your Marriage is for all couples--those trying to save their marriage, enjoying marital bliss, or getting married soon.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
• Release date: Jul 1, 2008
• ISBN: 9781585589425

Will Jr. Davis

Will Davis Jr. (DMin, Southwestern Seminary) is the founding and senior pastor of Austin Christian Fellowship, a nondenominational church in Austin, Texas. He is the author of Pray Big, Pray Big for Your Marriage, Pray Big for Your Child, Why Faith Makes Sense, and 10 Things Jesus Never Said. An avid hiker, mountain-biker, and water-skier, Davis and his wife, Susie, have three children and live in Austin, Texas. For more information about Will and his blog, visit http://willdavisjr.com.

Book preview

"In this age when overpromising and underdelivering are commonplace, there is one promise that will deliver: praying for your marriage will enrich, enhance, and fortify your life, marriage, and family. In his book Pray Big for Your Marriage, Will Davis provides you with the tools needed to develop a powerful prayer life for your marriage. Whether you’ve been married fifty years or fifty days, you need to read and apply the principles in this book."

Dennis Rainey, president and cofounder, FamilyLife

Will Davis demonstrates why prayer should be a nonnegotiable ingredient for a thriving relationship. This book will help couples not only survive marriage but also take it to a higher level. As a marriage counselor, I would have to say this will be required reading!

Dr. Samuel Adams, coauthor, The Ten Commandments of

Dating and Devotions for Dating Couples

"In Pray Big for Your Marriage, Will Davis has written a gem of a book. Anyone who wants a successful, healthy marriage should read this book. I wish it had been available early on in my marriage. There is no greater gift a husband and wife can give each other than to pray together. Will understands that and helps guide couples through that process with this insightful and compelling book."

Rick Johnson, founder, Better Dads;

author, That’s My Son

Will Davis has become a regular on my radio program, and I am honored to call him my friend and brother. Will reminds us that God is going to paint our lives with brilliant colors as we pray big, when we ask him to make our marriages into what he wants them to be—satisfying and full of life. Thank you, Will, for teaching us to ask God—to trust God—to make our marriages into his vision of what they should be!

Nancy Turner, host, This Is The Day!

WMBI FM Moody Radio, Chicago

As a marriage and family therapist, I cannot stress strongly enough the importance of praying for your marriage, but most couples don’t even know where to start. This book provides a much-needed road map for those couples who would like to enhance the power of prayer in their marriage.

Rick Reynolds, LCSW, founder, Affair Recovery Center

"Pray Big for Your Marriage reflects Will’s personality— challenging yet compassionate, brutally honest yet tactful, intense yet playful. I have watched Will for twenty-five-plus years, and he knows how to pray. His book specifically challenged me in a big way—to pray without ceasing as I relentlessly love my wife."

Byron Weathersbee, EdD, Legacy Family Ministries

PRAY BIG

for Your

MARRIAGE

The Power of Praying God ’s Promises

for Your Relationship

WILL DAVIS JR.

© 2008 by Will Davis Jr.

Published by Revell

a division of Baker Publishing Group

P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

www.revellbooks.com

Ebook edition created 2010

Ebook corrections 02.14.2013

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-5855-8942-5

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked NASB is taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture marked NLT is taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

To my loving wife, Susie.

No person has prayed for me more.

No person has needed to.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

1. Dearly Beloved . . . Pray!

2. Big, Hairy, Audacious Prayers and Your Marriage

3. Praying for Second Place

4. Praying for Emotional Intimacy

5. Praying for Spiritual Intimacy

6. Yield Right of Way

7. How to Pray for Your Husband

8. How to Pray for Your Wife

9. How to Pray for Your Unbelieving Spouse

10. Praying for Protection

11. Praying for Your Marriage Mission

Appendix: A Month of Pinpoint Prayers for Your Marriage

Notes

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Susie—You are a godly woman, a wonderful wife, my partner in ministry, and my closest friend. Proverbs 31:10 asks, A wife of noble character who can find? I did.

Will III, Emily, and Sara—You each amaze and inspire me. Thanks for making my job as a dad so easy. I couldn’t be more proud of you.

My dad, Will D. Davis—You are the best example of a serving husband I’ve ever seen. Thanks for being such a great role model.

Vicki Crumpton—Thank you for going to bat for me and for supporting Pray Big and Pray Big for Your Marriage. Your input and encouragement have been invaluable. Thanks for great coaching on the testosterone-free chapter.

Suzie Cross—You have become a friend, albeit a long-distance one. Thanks for your tireless efforts to make Pray Big and Pray Big for Your Marriage successful. You are a joy to work with and a great example of a true prayer warrior.

Jessica Miles—Thanks for using your impeccable editing skills to make Pray Big and Pray Big for Your Marriage easier to read. And thanks for being patient with me!

Brooke Nolen, Claudia Marsh, and Deonne Beron—Thank you for your excellent work in marketing Pray Big.

Les Stobbe—You are a mighty man of God. I love your heart and passion for the gospel. Thanks for great advice, encouragement, and friendship.

Terri Crow—You have amazing proofreading skills. Thank you for your generous, consistent, and cheerful contributions to this work.

Wendy Browning—You are a wonderful assistant and a ruthless proofreader! Thanks for being such a fun co-worker and friend.

Tonya Parrott—Dr. Parrott, I presume. You have been a joy to get to know. I love what God is doing in the lives of you and your family. Thanks for supporting me and for your excellent work on this book.

Lori Howe—You are a true friend. Thanks for reading the text and for offering candid advice: Will, you didn’t tell me how to pray for my marriage!

Gary and Jackie Sinclair—I’m so glad you became Texans! Thanks for being godly examples of a Christian marriage. Gary, thanks also for your proofing and helpful comments.

Andrea Smith—God sent an angel to Will and Susie, and her name was Andrea. . . . Thanks for loving us, believing in us, and supporting us. You have been a huge encouragement to Susie and me.

David Washington—Thanks for being a godly man, a good friend, and a great example of a serving husband.

Ryan and Courtney Nowakowski—I’m so proud of you both. Thanks for having a kingdom marriage. Austin Christian Fellowship (ACF) is a healthier church because of your obedience.

Alan and Tina Nagel—Thanks for believing in ACF and for adding credibility to our cause. Thank you for obeying God’s call and for impacting countless lives over the decades. Alan, thank you for being a great advisor, friend, and mentor. Tina, thank you for dreaming of a kingdom church.

Rick and Stephanie Reynolds—I love you both. Rick, thanks for being my friend and for keeping me in the kingdom game. Thanks to you both for fighting for marriages. You are true kingdom heroes.

John and Helen Boyd—Johnny, thanks for knocking on my door. Thanks to you both for having a marriage that changes lives.

Brandon and Amber Parker—I’m so thrilled that God brought you into my life. You inspire me and make me want to be a better Christian.

ACF overseers, board of directors, and staff—I love each of you. I love being in community with you and serving our King together. Thanks for putting up with me.

1

DEARLY BELOVED . . . PRAY!

RECENTLY MY WIFE, Susie, and I had the opportunity to fly out to beautiful Southern California from our home in Austin. We went there to film six DVD lessons for a curriculum on marriage we were writing for our church.

It was an exciting experience for both of us. Susie and I are not experts on marriage. We would be the first to tell you that we know as much about what not to do in marriage as what to do. But because I am the senior pastor of our church and Susie is my wife, somewhere in those roles we get tagged as having something to say about marriage. And since the trip was free and included some fun downtime, we figured we’d give the DVD thing a shot.

We spent about six hours in a Los Angeles studio, being directed by two of the most talented Christian media and curriculum producers in the country. The sessions went well, and the producers seemed pleased with the end product. Afterward we drove over to the Ritz Carlton in Dana Point and treated ourselves to a romantic dinner, complete with candles and a 180-degree view of the Pacific. Over dinner we talked about how blessed we were even to be in a position to talk about marriage to others. We reflected on the day and how much fun we’d had. On the thirty-minute drive back to our hotel, we held hands and continued to list God’s great blessings in our lives. It was a perfect evening.

Until I got lost.

Actually, Susie thought I was lost. I viewed myself as just a little off course. Now, if you’re a woman, your husband is driving, you’re in a strange area a thousand miles from home, and it’s totally dark outside, then the difference between lost and off course is a moot point.

Susie first got suspicious when the scenery began to change. Our hotel was in a well-developed urban area— lights, intersections, Home Depots, and Starbucks. You know—friendly, comforting, and familiar landmarks that signal civilization. But the scenery on our drive back was . . . well, scenery—trees, open fields, livestock, wild animals, and narrow, semipaved roads with a streetlight every fifteen miles. It was pretty obvious to Susie that, while we were somewhere, we weren’t near where we were supposed to be. It was also obvious that I had no clue where we were.

The great news about being lost in the country is that, if you’re looking for the city, all you have to do is aim for the lights. So we did. And after a quick, alarm-sounding drive through a tollbooth, without paying (I didn’t have any change, much less the correct change), we found our way back to some civilization. By the time we did, Susie wasn’t a happy camper. No more hand-holding and recitations of God’s blessings. With one wrong turn (okay, maybe more than that), I had gone from feeling like Susie’s Captain America to Captain Kangaroo. Our night was going downhill fast.

Any hopes of salvaging the evening were dashed when I stopped at a convenience mart under the pretense of buying gas. Actually, I was hoping to steal a glance at a map, but I wasn’t about to tell Susie that. When I got out to pump the gas, Susie bolted into the store. I figured she needed to freshen up a bit after our exciting trip through the California backcountry. But when I walked into the store, Susie was engaged in a humorous and animated conversation with some tattooed hunk behind the counter. He was smiling and laughing, she was smiling and laughing, and he was giving her . . . directions!

Is there a greater blow to a man’s ego? Is there a lower place on the male food chain than that reserved for the loser whose wife has to ask some California dude with bulging biceps for directions, because her husband can’t drive, hold his wife’s hand, and navigate at the same time? My self-esteem having been sufficiently bruised, I slunk back to the car and sulked all the way to the hotel—while following the hunk’s directions. I mumbled a really weak prayer with Susie before bed and pouted my way into a terrible, listless sleep. A really great day had ended in a really bad night.

And to think, we were there to do a DVD on marriage.

Buckle Your Seat Belts

Welcome to the wonderful world of marriage. Can you think of another relationship that has the potential to take you to such relational extremes—pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow, intimacy and isolation? Marriage can be exciting, entertaining, humorous, exhilarating, inspiring, rewarding, and adventurous. It can also be really, really hard. For me, marriage is the summit point of my relational world. It is, without question, the relationship that requires the most from me and offers the greatest potential for intimacy and joy.

Culturally, the institution of marriage seems to have a perennial black eye. Maybe that’s because marriage is so challenging or because so many forces seem to be vying against it. But whatever the reasons, marriage, at least in Western culture, is in real trouble.

You’ve probably heard the gloomy statistics—today in the United States, there