Holiday Happenings, Part I Can You Imagine...?, Volume III

By Bobbi G

You've been asking for it and here it is. Part I, of the best "Can You Imagine?" columns about Holiday Happenings.
You’ll be in stitches laughing at Turkey Food-ball play-by-play as little Billy sticks his elbow in the Figgy Pudding and why Aunt Fanny demanded a recount. Discover why Cupid’s arrows fizzle and what love-struck lovers could learn from a song.
Plus enjoy G's scary and entertaining tributes to All Hallows Eve. Then laugh till your sides ache as Tell-All-McGraw interviews G’s zany family and find out exactly what Grams is thankful for now.
This hilarious collection humors you from Valentine's Day through Thanksgiving Day. Download yours today and tell your friends to download theirs. It’s a real treat!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bobbi G
• Release date: Oct 30, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301287833

Bobbi G

Bobbi G's been a weekly columnist since 2006. Writing humorous bits, motivational snippets or topical morsels...giving readers a peek at life from Bobbi's endless, and often zany, imagination. Bobbi is also a motivational speaker, changing lives with her witty, yet entertaining words of encouragement. And if that wasn't all, she's an author, award wining artist, cartoonist and all around Jill of all Trades. What doesn't Bobbi G do...windows!

Book preview

Can You Imagine…?

by Bobbi G

The Best Collection of Holiday Happenings, Part I

Volume III

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012

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Books written by Bobbi G can be obtained either through the author’s official website:

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Bobbi G columns are also available for your reading pleasure at:

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Table of Contents

Cupid

Love Sickness

If Love Were a Song

Happy Mother’s Day

The Signal

Happy Birthday America!

Ghouls Gone Wild

And Then…

The Nightmare Before Halloween

You’ll See…

The Littlest Goblin

T. G. I. F.

How Weird is Turkey Day?

Food-Ball

Being Thankful

Cupid

Column #32 2-15-07

Cu-pid draw back your bow-o and let your arrow go-o, straight to my lov-ers heart for me-eee…

Look oooout! IN COMING!!! Whoa, that was close. Those pint-sized, blue-eyed, fair-haired, winged, chubby cheek cherubs are everywhere. They don’t just come out on Valentine’s Day you know. Cupids can and will strike without any prior knowledge or consent on your part.

Besides, everyone knows Cupid wrote the book on love. So you might as well stop dodging arrows. Speaking of arrows, did you know Cupid carries two different kinds in his nifty little Ralph Lauren quiver? Yep, the solid gold tipped arrows inspire Love, while the lead tipped arrows inspire well…extreme dislike.

Personally, I have a theory about the arrow ‘tips’ he’s using these days. Given the fact that the price of gold has steadily increased over the centuries since Cupid has been employed, it’s my opinion Cupid is using lead arrows dipped in gold. Explaining the steady stream of spontaneous outbursts of, I’ll love you forever. (With forever defined as a timeframe somewhere between two weeks and two decades.)

Adding weight to my speculation that the gold dipped arrow’s ‘love connection’ wears off rather swiftly in a number of cases, hence the astronomical divorce rate if you’ve made it to the alter. As for the rest of you who’ve been jilted before you got that far, there’s always counseling (could take years), adopting a pet (unconditional love), abstinence (rarely seen today) or the old stand by…rushing right back into another relationship. AKA: the rebound and never a good idea.

Now, let me indulge myself for a minute…imagine if…a person’s personal body chemistry adversely affected the chemical compound in the gold overlay dipped arrow, as a result causing the thin layer of precious metal to be absorbed by the body at a rate consistent with the complete digestion of one standard double cheeseburger with extra cheese, thus reaching the lead, or ‘extreme dislike’ level more rapidly, unleashing a total collapse of the relationship! Plausible, wouldn’t you agree?

Well, I’m confident my elucidation