Desserts a Monkey Could Cook

By Jean Stites

Ever have the urge to monkey around in the kitchen?
Then look in here for some primate-proof directions to some popular confections.
Of course you can do it!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jean Stites
• Release date: Sep 26, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301932931

Jean Stites

Jean Stites is a writer and musician from the San Francisco Bay Area who thanks you so very much for reading and wishes you an especially pleasant day.

Book preview

Desserts a Monkey Could Cook

by

Jean Stites

Copyright 2012, Jean Stites.

All rights reserved.

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To Grandma Hazel, who was a natural in the kitchen,

And to Aunt Norma, who told me I should write a book,

And of course to Mom, who—God love her—fed us all.

Table of Contents

Finger Food

*

Chapter One--Black and White Chocolate Chip Cookies

Chapter Two--Banana Bread

Chapter Three--Valentine Brownies

Chapter Four—Half-Moon Cookies

Chapter Five—Vanilla Cream Puffs

Chapter Six—Sunday Afternoon Cookies

Chapter Seven—Grandma’s Sour Cream Coffee Cake

Chapter Eight—Mom’s Cinnamon Rolls

Let Them Eat Cake

*

Chapter Nine—Nora Ephron’s Cheesecake

Chapter Ten—Rainbow Birthday Cake

Chapter Eleven—Simple Strawberry Shortcake

Chapter Twelve—Harvey’s Carrot Cake

Chapter Thirteen—Pound Cake, Peaches, and Cream

Chapter Fourteen—Boston Cream Pie

Chapter Fifteen—Frozen Strawberry Cake Roll

Sweet as Pie

*

Chapter Sixteen—Sarah’s Chocolate Mousse Pie

Chapter Seventeen—Good Old Apple Pie

Chapter Eighteen—Classic Cherry Pie

Chapter Nineteen—Peach Pie with Cinnamon Crust

Chapter Twenty—Henry’s Chocolate Cream Pie

Introduction

Now I imagine most would agree that all over Mother Earth humans instinctively enhance the sweetness of their festivities with some sort of confection, and so here I share a few family favorites with you, while especially hoping to help hesitant beginners learn to provide themselves with the party of their dreams.

Of course you can do it!

While despite the party atmosphere, when you first go monkey around in the kitchen it’s important to remember not to worry excessively about appearances. Believe me, the average person you offer a freshly made confection to won’t be rejecting it because it’s not pretty.

Just get out of their way….

No, what you want to worry about is how it tastes, which begins and ends with quality ingredients. An ice sculpture in the middle of the table is not going to compensate for flavorless fruit.

You are what you eat, so eat good!

Chapter One

Black and White Chocolate Chip Cookies

Well check out what my daughter did the other day: she took it into her head to mix white and semi-sweet chocolate chips together for a new taste treat!

Yes, the result was swell—and on a multitude of levels too, since the last time I was greeted at the kitchen door by the aroma of homemade chocolate chip cookies that I personally did not make was probably sometime around 1965….

And so these things are especially terrific if you ask me, and I hope that they’ll be more than entertaining for you as well.

While those you see pictured below lack nuts because in this case the cook does not like them; and so both the photo and her mother will have to do without.

There are worse fates!

Black and White Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup = 2 sticks butter

¾ to 1 cup brown sugar

¾ to 1 cup granulated sugar

1 extra-large or 2 small eggs

¾ to 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2¼ cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ to 1 teaspoon salt

6 ounces white chocolate chips

6 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)

In a large bowl, cut up the butter into very small pieces to allow it to soften.

Let the eggs warm up a bit on the countertop while you measure out the sugar and find the vanilla.

Sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt.

Beginner tip: if you don’t own a sifter, then just mix your dry ingredients very well by hand; but if you really want great results when baking, it’s best to sift for maximum evenness of distribution.

Add the brown and granulated sugars to the butter, and beat well at medium speed for about three minutes until well blended and light, scraping the sides of the bowl periodically with a heavy-duty spatula.

Beat the egg and vanilla into the creamed mixture in like fashion.

Stir the dry ingredients on low speed until all is well blended.

Add the chocolate chips and the chopped nuts, distributing them evenly.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Cover two baking sheets with parchment paper; while those lacking paper should lightly grease them with shortening or softened butter in the more traditional manner.

Drop 12 rounded tablespoons of dough per baking sheet—which should leave plenty of space for it to melt down and spread out—and then flatten the tops of those little walnut-sized balls slightly to make for even browning. If these cookies run together while baking, they’ll probably separate and be fine when you take them of the sheet, just not as pretty. They’re not going to be perfectly round anyway of course, since you’re not a machine.

Bake for 8 minutes, one sheet at a time, in the center of the oven—sorry, but you can’t put two in there at once to speed things up. Those tasty treats will be done when the tops turn golden brown and they appear to be completely set–-a relative term at best and difficult to convey in words, I’m afraid. Lucky for me, I get to just show you a picture.

When they’re done, carefully remove them to a wire rack with a flat-bladed spatula; and be careful because they’re still very flexible at this point, but they’ll soon solidify into the expected finished product as they cool.

And then after those crowd-pleasers have been out of the oven for about five minutes you can let anyone who has been hanging around sniffing the air at them. Otherwise, don't put them in bags or cookie jars until they’re completely cool.

Enjoy!

Chapter Two

Good Old Banana Bread

Looking for something delicious, yet relatively nutritious, to pack into that lunchbox? Or maybe a treat that can actually make it all the