Lessons From Hal

By David Dick

In 2011 my son was born and I instantly found myself on a whole new planet. Walk with me while I traverse this strange land with Hal as our guide...

Lessons From Hal is the daily diary written over the course of his son's first year by a nervous, slightly paranoid, newb father as he attempts to adapt from a geeky existence to a parental (yet still geeky) existence.

*5% of all profits made on my end will be donated to the World Wildlife Fund

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Dick
• Release date: Jul 26, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476046808

Book preview

Preface

In 2011 I started a blog titled Lessons from Hal which I updated every day for one year. The header read, In 2011 my son was born and I instantly found myself on a whole new planet. Walk with me while I traverse this strange land with Hal as our guide...

And what an amazing guide he was…and continues to be.

I started the LFH blog, not to one day sell as an ebook, but to be a future gift for my son, loosely chronicling his first year on Earth. But it also became a way for me to process the changes having a child brings. It gave me the time each day to reflect on what had happened and what it meant to me. I quickly realized that people, including future Hal, wouldn’t be interested in reading about the day-to-day of new parenthood. Much like a friend’s vacation photos: super nice but not same experience of being there. What looks like just a sunset to you may have been the most romantic moment of their lives. So instead of me posting every day, I’m terrified and in love. (Which some may argue is the message of every post; only disguised.) I tried to just be myself and hide my emotions in humor.

If you can call it humor.

If you’re reading this book because you were a fan of the blog, thank you so much for spending your hard-earned money on something you’ve already read for free. If you’re a new reader, an equal amount of thanks for picking up the book. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

~Dave Dick

aka The Dad

MONTH ONE

Day 1: Arrival!

Hal arrives on Earth! Mom and I are overjoyed—Hal seems…unimpressed.

Day 2: Requests!

Babies are perfect and everything, but that being said, I still have some changes I’d like to request in a little segment I like to call HUMAN IMPROVEMENT REQUESTS TO THE GODS.

HUMAN IMPROVEMENT REQUEST TO THE GODS #1: Please change the feeling of having a baby, from the intense body trauma that it looks like, to the feeling of hearing The Beatles for the first time. Thanks in advance.

Day 3: Realizations

I woke up this morning and realized I have a son! Wait...I have a son?! Can this be right!? I make cartoons all day and have more toys now than Hal will have by the time he’s fifteen. Is this even allowed?

Day 4: Cured!

Hal seems to be the cure for that terrible sleeping disease I used to have.

Day 5: Understanding

One of my new favorite things is holding Hal. Or as Hal calls it, Try to make Dad drop me.

Now, for the record, I have not dropped Hal and surround myself with pillows and mounds of stuffed animals I may or may not have had before Hal arrived. But I have to admit my hate for that old lady from The Goonies for dropping Sloth when he was a baby has lessened a bit. Mama Fratelli, I see you.

What if that’s all she needed to hear back then? Maybe she wouldn’t have taken up a life of crime if she just had a little support. Yeah, but then we wouldn’t have The Goonies in our lives and that just can’t be. Sorry Sloth, but sometimes you gotta take one for the team.

Maybe I should go raise my child now...

Haven’t seen The Goonies in awhile? Now is the time, folks.

Day 6: Whuh?

I seriously think more is coming out of Hal than going in.

Day 7: Baby Care Essentials

The list of baby care essentials starts and ends with Coffee. With a coffee break in the middle.

Day 8: New Parental Experience

For the first time, after looking into Hal’s eyes, I felt like a little soul was looking back. A much smarter than me, little soul.

Day 9: Hey...

Hal loves Mommy and tolerates Daddy.

Day 10: Baby Language

The chosen language of babies is crying. And boy do they like to language.

Day 11: Thank the Gods!

Let’s all take a moment to thank Marion Donovan* and her nothing less than monumental contribution to human society.

*Diaper inventor

Day 12: Product Placement Alert!

From time to time we come across stuff that make baby raising a whole lot easier for us so I thought why not share it! My fatherly promise to you, my wonderful readers, is I’m only gonna mention stuff we love and found useful. SO either we love it or Hal does and that’s that.

The B.O.B Revolution Stroller

We’re such fans of the B.O.B Stroller I want to shout it from the tree tops—where I’m pretty sure you could push this thing. Super solid design, lightweight, lots of safety for Hal-icopter, and wheels that will take you anywhere!

On Hal’s first trip to Whistler—that he literally slept all the way through—it wheeled down the busy streets and into the shops, but also we took it down some fairly rough trails and down to a lake we wouldn’t otherwise