Why Have a Job?: Your Ball and Chain

By Bobby Cordova

WHY HAVE A JOB? YOUR BALL AND CHAIN will give you the motivation to step out of your comfort zone and MAKE YOUR DREAMS A REALITY no matter how big YOUR DREAMS maybe. To grasp onto an education system to create wealth developed over a thirty year span by average people who had a burning desire to achieve their DREAMS and a NESSACARY NEED to carry them onto OVERWHELMING FINACIAL FINACIAL FREEDOM.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: May 22, 2013
• ISBN: 9781626758810

Book preview

1970

MR.DEBT

Don't you just love the feeling of almost being asleep, knowing that you will be sound asleep within moments; the kind of sleep where you have a smile on your face as you lay there waiting for the sandman to play his tune? Yeah, sleep, my favorite thing to do.

Well, it has been a long time since I had that feeling, because of the job I have. I really don't like to call it a job; I'd rather call it an adventure. I kind of figure that I am like the mailman…hail, rain, snow, it doesn't matter, the mail is going to get delivered one way or the other. Just like what I do for a living, except my saying is: Daytime, nighttime, all of the time, the cars will get repossessed!

Yeah, that's right, I am THE REPO GUY. I'm the guy who is going to take off in your smooth ride while you are in the movie theater with your new girlfriend. Or maybe I'll wait for you to get in view of your car with your new girlfriend, only to smile, wave and drive off, dropping a little note to contact the bank for further info.

Think about it: What other way can a guy make over a hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year, stealing cars, and not get thrown in prison? Sign me up I said!

A lot of people ask me what my greatest car repossession was. And I tell them that they are all great. Too bad for the people who cannot afford their car payments. Oh well, too bad. Those are the kind of people who keep me in business.

There is, however, one particular CORVETTE REPO that I'm quite proud of. Let me tell you a story about a guy who had a dental appointment and decided to stop at the CORVETTE STORE to kill a half hour before his appointment. But before I begin this story I want to suggest that we have a bit of reader participation. Your part is to put yourself in the shoes of the person who put himself in hawk up to his eyeballs over a sports car that he knew he could not afford in the first place. Not just for entertainment purposes, but for the REALITY of the situation. Yeah you. This could be you, or this may be you. And don't think that for one second that it can't be you!

Now, some of you are thinking, Well something like this would never happen to me. I'm a responsible person. I pay all of my bills on time. You see, that's what this guy--let's call him MR. DEBT--who signed his name on the dotted line over and over and over again, and drove off with a brand spanking new CORVETTE thought!!! I can afford this nice sporty sports car. I deserve to have something nice for all of the long hours that I put in at my MISERABLE JOB. But MR. DEBT's job was a bit on the shaky side as far as a job security goes.

MR. DEBT even told the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN at the CORVETTE STORE that his supervisor job at the paper factory was on the shaky side, even though MR. DEBT had been employed at the paper factory for over fifteen years.

The salesman's reply to that was, Well, MR. DEBT, as the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN slipped his arm around MR. DEBT's shoulder (again), obviously you are a man with many resources. Look how outstanding your credit is. This clearly states that you are a man of integrity.

That comment had sent MR. DEBT into spending heaven. You see, no matter how many objections that MR. DEBT put across to the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN, he'd simply smile, and say something else to keep poor MR. DEBT on the roller coaster of emotions until MR. DEBT was behind the wheel of the overpriced sports car to the tune of eight hundred and ninety-two dollars a month for only a simplified (THE SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN didn't even know if the word simplified was a real word, it just sounded good at the time, and he knew that it would make MR. DEBT feel more intelligent than MR. DEBT really was–making MR. DEBT a bigger sucker with every word that came out of his mouth ) ninety-six months.

MR. DEBT had said to the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN, Wow that's a lot of payments!

The SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN's response to that was, For the essence of this finely tuned machine, my well-mannered friend, time has a way of passing.

With that said, the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN gave MR. DEBT a comforting squeeze on the shoulder.

That comment pushed MR. DEBT onto an entirely new level of self-assurance and confidence that he could indeed handle such a huge payment.

About twenty-four months later, when MR. DEBT called the local police station to report that his CORVETTE had been ripped off, and the police had advised him to contact the finance company about the car, that's when MR. DEBT realized that he had let his emotions take control of the situation--the day that he had maxed out three of his credit cards to get the initial five grand for the down payment on his overpriced sports car.

He then remembered how the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN had put his arm around his shoulder time after time to help overcome any kind of objection that MR.DEBT could possibly come up with.

The fact that MR. DEBT had been surrounded for four or five hours by the salesman, the salesman's manager, a variety of very attractive busty finance ladies, and the BOSE in-house stereo system playing the ROCKY THEME SONG over and over and over and over again at a low volume level; the THEME SONG played over and over and over again and again. Keeping poor MR. DEBT on a huge wave of emotions targeted at having his rear end planted in the driver's seat of the LIMITED COLLECTOR'S CANDY APPLE RED CORVETTE ANIVERSARY EDITION.

All of those factors combined had suckered poor MR. DEBT into a very large car payment, plus a hefty payment of three hundred and twelve dollars a month to his TRUSTED GOOD HANDS INSURANCE AGENT for the beefed up full coverage insurance on his new VETTE, that had already put a damper on MR. DEBT's lifestyle. The TRUSTED GOOD HANDS INSURANCE AGENT about fell his big behind off of the overworked WALLY WORLD office chair when he learned what MR. DEBT had done.

YE-HA! Thought the GOOD HANDS MAN, I am going to knock this one out of the ballpark. I am going to make this sucker pay while he still can, knowing this guy's insurance was maxed. Boat, nice truck, motorcycle, four wheeler, home, life, health, 66 RS Camaro, all on payments for sure. Even the RS has some credit card dollars on it. This mess certainly will not last long.

Are you insurance maxed? You had better think about that one. Only you can convince yourself if you think that you might be and are too WEAK to do anything about it. You may end up just like this moron, MR. DEBT. Now pay attention.

MR. DEBT was now standing in the parking lot of the overpriced steak and seafood house where he'd just taken his HOTTIE girlfriend, PENNY, out to a one hundred dollar bill meal, which MR. DEBT had given the waiter all eleven of his credit cards, not a single one of them had been approved to cover the dinner.

With his cell phone in one hand, and an upset girlfriend in the other, MR. DEBT thought back to the day in the CORVETTE STORE where the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN and his crew of BEAUTIFUL BUSTY FINANCE LADIES had made him feel like he was worth a mile high pile of gold, having him sign a mountain of paper work, which MR. DEBT didn't even bother to read very thoroughly, only having a chance to take a quick glance at each form before another triplicate piece of paper was shoved in front of his face to sign.

When all of the paperwork had been signed and all of the congratulations from the staff at the CORVETTE STORE had been given, there went MR. DEBT off into the sunset with HIS brand new CORVETTE--or should I say eight hundred and ninety-two dollar a month new best friend.

Can you imagine how thick the payment booklet for 96 months is? Some of you don't have to imagine, am I nailing some of you readers on the head or not? I hope so, because 60 months is bad enough, let alone 84 months now 96 months. WOW!

One of the dozens of forms that poor MR. DEBT had signed had given the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMEN authorization to charge MR. DEBT for the fancy payment booklet itself with the fancy CORVETTE emblem plastered all over the cover of the stupid thing. At a price of only $299.00 bucks for the fancy cover on the very thick payment booklet. What a sucker!

Of course we all know that the fancy payment booklet only cost the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN not a red cent because he got it as a freebee at the CORVETTE convention in VEGAS. Or not an issue if MR. DEBT had NOT skipped his dental appointment, which was the real reason why MR. DEBT had gone to the big city to start with.

This wave of emotion had cost MR. DEBT a lot of money. MR. DEBT had even signed a form for a tow truck company to haul his overpriced 4x4 Chevy pickup truck (that he only owed 48 more payments on) back to his home town about 160 miles away. When MR. DEBT had mentioned to the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN the fact that he was from a small town about 160 miles away, and that he had no one to drive his truck home if he bought the CORVETTE, the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN had slipped his arm around MR. DEBT's shoulder AGAIN and said, MR. DEBT, people with CLASS do things with CLASS. WE will get that minor detail handled for you.

Handled all right! When the tow truck arrived three days later to drop off MR. DEBT's overpriced 4x4 with a five hundred dollar tow charge for MR. DEBT to pay. MR. DEBT had been busy waxing his brand new CORVETTE when he heard the clacking of the diesel engine of the tow truck pulling up in front of his house.

With a smile on his face, MR. DEBT put down the can of car wax and greeted the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER with a handshake and a very large, Thank you, while he signed the invoice for five hundred dollars. MR. DEBT thought, Oooh, these guys really hammered the CORVETTE STORE on this tow bill, while letting the tow truck driver know how much he appreciated him doing his job.

With no expression on his face, the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER nodded his head, for he had been in this situation many times before, and knew just how to handle guys like MR. DEBT.

Okay then, said MR. DEBT to the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER, you can just leave my truck parked right in front of the house.

With the same expressionless face, the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER handed MR. DEBT the invoice for five hundred dollars.

MR. DEBT again said, Thank you very much, and again said to the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER, please leave my four-by-four parked in front of the house.

The very first words that came out of the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER's mouth were, Excuse me, sir. I have about ten minutes to spare. Would you like to pay for this in cash, or on a credit card?

Just as MR. DEBT was going to turn the ROCKY MUSIC back on in his head and finish waxing his $80,000 plus mega interest sports car, he thought he heard the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER ask him if he was going to pay cash or with a credit card.

Of course, that's not what he had heard the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER say, because he knew for sure that he'd heard the SHARP DRESSED SLICK TALKING SALESMAN say… MR. DEBT, people with CLASS handle things with CLASS. We will get that minor detail handled for you.

Again, MR. DEBT turned to the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER and said, Go ahead and leave my truck in front of the house. And again the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER said, Excuse me, sir. I now have about eight minutes to spare. Would you like to pay for this with cash, or on a credit card?

This time, MR. DEBT heard the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER loud and clear. "Excuse me, did you say that I could either pay with cash or a credit card?"

Yes, the VERY LARGE TOW TRUCK DRIVER said, that is correct. Now I have about eight minutes to spare. Maybe you better read the small print on the bottom of the invoice you just signed, sir.

***

Okay, my fine readers, let's have an author to reader reality talk, if you don't mind. This guy, MR. DEBT, sure is taking a beating over this emotional CORVETTE deal don't you think? Some of you readers are laughing pretty hard, and some of you readers are looking for your cry rags, because you are MR. DEBT, and didn't even realize it until you opened the pages of this book. Now don't be calling me any names or throw my book in the fireplace--or should I say your book since you have spent your hard earned money for it, so you might as well keep on reading.

As you may see by now, MR. DEBT let his emotions take over when he was