Confidently Connected: A Mom's Guide to a Satisfying Social Life

By Christa Melnyk Hines

Our journeys are full of stressful transitions, whether relocating to a new home or entering a new phase of life. If you feel alone and isolated, Confidently Connected will gently guide you back out into the world. You'll learn how to breathe new life into your network and regain your footing with a sense of purpose and support. This book will also help you prioritize, develop boundaries and create a network that complements rather than controls your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Feb 5, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483511832

Book preview

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Chapter 1

Follow Your Instincts to Tap Your Tribe

More than ever before, women have formed multiple avenues in which to reach out to one another. Thanks to rapid growth in the internet and social media, most of us have an array of options at our fingertips in which to connect whether virtually or in-person. But how do you know which groups are right for you and your family? Through trial and error and a little introspection, you can find groups that fit your lifestyle and match your interests and personal goals.

Moms’ Groups

I was so clueless as a first-time mother that, before I left the workforce to stay home after the birth of my oldest son, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as Moms’ Groups. During the first few months of my son’s life, I filled the days trying to figure out his schedule, measuring time in his waking, eating and sleeping moments. My heart was completely and totally captured by this tiny, beautiful, perfect creature and I couldn’t imagine ever feeling more fulfilled.

  Then, just as I was figuring out a routine, I realized I was kind of lonely. Work friends had drifted back to their lives and routines and other than an occasional lunch, I rarely saw them anymore. All of a sudden, we had little in common with each other. And, I knew no other stay-at-home moms in my neighborhood. A friend of mine in another city encouraged me to look into a moms’ group in our area.

  I joined a group and after a few months of participation in meetings, play dates and children’s activities, I felt like I was starting to build a new circle of acquaintances. The greatest gift I received from those women was their advice and empathy. I slowly began to identify and relax more into my role as a mother and felt more empowered, too. I stopped fretting over my son’s every little hiccup as I tapped my brood of newfound mother hens with questions like, He won’t drink milk. Any advice? or Eek! His poop is a florescent green! Anyone else see this happen?

  Chris, a mother of three, says it was an adjustment when she first left her job as a teacher. After I had my oldest (child), I missed working with older kids so I continued to coach for three years part-time, she says. I did lots of things to get out of the house with the baby. I met up with friends I knew from church for play dates. I joined two moms’ groups and they were life- savers!

  When shopping around for a moms’ group, talk to the membership director. Find out what kinds of activities are planned as a group, how the mothers support one another, and whether moms-only activities are included if that is important to you. Ask if you can attend a meeting as a guest. You’ll get a chance to evaluate some of the personalities (fun-loving or pretty serious?) and get an idea of the parenting philosophies (some groups are more flexible and inclusive than others.) For example, if breastfeeding wasn’t for you, you probably won’t relate well to a group that thinks you have black stain on your soul if you chose not to breastfeed.

  If you aren’t sure which group to join, strike up conversations with other parents you meet at your child’s school, your place of worship, in the children’s section of the library or mommy and me groups. Whether you are new to the community, new to staying home with your kids or are simply unsure how to connect with other moms given your work schedule, ask them what organizations they like being part of in the community or what organizations they found most supportive and helpful. Moms love giving advice!

Sometimes a group isn’t always the best fit. While