Surviving an Affair

Written by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr. and Dr. Jennifer Harley Chalmers

Narrated by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr.

Infidelity is common, occurring in over half of all marriages. And it is one of life's most painful experiences for everyone involved--the betrayed spouse, the children, the extended family members, and even the lover and wayward spouse. With all that sadness, why do people have affairs? And once trust is broken, how can a couple reconcile? 

In Surviving an Affair, Drs. Harley and Chalmers describe the most common types of affairs, the reasons they begin and end, the best way to end them, and the best way to restore a marriage after an affair. But most importantly, they help readers survive the ordeal by providing them with step-by-step guidance that minimizes suffering and offers hope for rebuilding a loving and trusting marital relationship.

• Language: English
• Publisher: One Audiobooks
• Release date: Aug 8, 2020
• ISBN: 9781646892181

Reviews for Surviving an Affair

[David Edwards · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

There are some helpful tools and techniques in this book to help a married couple communicate and interact better. However, to a betrayed spouse this guy sounds like a major rug sweeper and puts very little, if any, emphasis on full disclosure. For a counselor with as much experience as he boasts, he appears terribly ignorant of infidelity trauma. You can tell because there is not one shred of instruction addressing healing for the betrayed spouse. Infidelity is spousal abuse and this author treats it like a mistake or poor judgment. This is inexcusable IMO. People get PTSD from being betrayed. Also I really question his definition of love. He seems to think love is just a feeling and says so repeatedly. His idea of love appears to be merely attraction. So this book instructs you how to feel attracted to your spouse and be attracted by them. Feelings appear to be his highest virtue. To hell with choosing to do what is right regardless of personal cost. Just make those love bank deposits and your soul’s assassin will soon feel attracted toward you. Lucky you, that they now bestow on you their rediscovered favor, as their fallback plan B, when they are dumped by their lover/soulmate and every other option available has failed and you are their very last choice (and you have a wallet). He literally uses a couple like this as his best example in the book. Just flush your self respect along with your shredded dignity and consider yourself fortunate to be allowed back in their life. And don’t forget that you are as much to blame for this crap sandwich as your betrayer. Despite saying once that the cheater is responsible for the betrayal, he makes several Freudian slips revealing what he really believes - that the betrayed bears the same responsibility as the cheater. Ignore the fact that a spouse with a shred of integrity has the courage to confront their problems with their spouse or choose to divorce. And don’t forget you are supposed to just ignore those gross mind movies of their adulterous activities in your own house and even in your own bed! And just run away from those environmental triggers. Well, what does one do, pray tell, when the wayward spouse’s face is the environmental trigger? This clown tells you to ignore what is in the past because you cannot do anything about it. If he knew anything about trauma he would know that it is NOT in the past. You experience it EVERY DAY.
Couples without trauma may benefit from this book, but if you have experienced the fallout of adultery, seek the guidance of one who really knows what this sack of crap does to a human being. Not someone who is more concerned with their five-years-later, still-together-numbers. This shit lasts a lifetime. You need professional help.