Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear

Written by Jinger Vuolo and Corey Williams

Narrated by Jinger Vuolo

New York Times Bestseller 

Read by the author.

Jinger Vuolo, the sixth child in the famous Duggar family of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On, recounts how she began to question the unhealthy ideology of her youth and learned to embrace true freedom in Christ.

When Jinger Duggar Vuolo was growing up, she was convinced that obeying the rules was the key to success and God's favor. She zealously promoted the Basic Life Principles of Bill Gothard,

• fastidiously obeying the modesty guidelines (no shorts or jeans, only dresses),
• eagerly submitting to the umbrella of authority (any disobedience of parents would place her outside God's protection),
•  promoting the relationship standard of courtship, and
• avoiding any music with a worldly beat, among others.

 

Jinger, along with three of her sisters, wrote a New York Times bestseller about their religious convictions. She believed this level of commitment would guarantee God's blessing, even though in private she felt constant fear that she wasn't measuring up to the high standards demanded of her.

In Becoming Free Indeed, Jinger shares how in her early twenties, a new family member—a brother-in-law who didn't grow up in the same tight-knit conservative circle as Jinger—caused her to examine her beliefs. He was committed to the Bible, but he didn't believe many of the things Jinger had always assumed were true. His influence, along with the help of a pastor named Jeremy Vuolo, caused Jinger to see that her life was built on rules, not God's Word.

Jinger committed to studying the Bible—truly understanding it—for the first time. What resulted was an earth-shaking realization: much of what she'd always believed about God, obedience to His Word, and personal holiness wasn't in-line with what the Bible teaches.

Now with a renewed faith of personal conviction, Becoming Free Indeed shares what it was like living under the tenants of Bill Gothard, the Biblical truth that changed her perspective, and how she disentangled her faith with her belief in Jesus intact.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Release date: Jan 31, 2023
• ISBN: 9781400335848

Jinger Vuolo

Jinger Duggar Vuolo grew up on TV. From the age of nine until twenty-seven, she appeared on her family's hit TLC reality shows, 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On. She is an author whose books include New York Times bestseller Becoming Free Indeed, her personal memoir The Hope We Hold and a children's book, You Can Shine So Bright. She now lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Jeremy, and their two daughters, Felicity Nicole and Evangeline Jo. In her free time, Jinger enjoys traveling, hiking, and anything to do with good food.

Reviews for Becoming Free Indeed

[Cox Family · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Coming from a similar background, this book is a excellent read for those who have or are struggling with the legalism that some different spiritual leaders have taught either in your past or presently. I highly recommend this book for anyone who comes from a legalistic mindset to see that you can be free indeed-through the finished work of Jesus alone and not man made rules. There’s so much more I could say but I’ll leave it with it’s a 10/10 for me.

[Brandon Breece · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A really great read! I expected it to be different- a bash fest against her parents & fundamentalist childhood. Instead, it was an honest & true account of how she disentangled bad theological beliefs from what the Bible actually says. She was kind, respectful, & yet remained firm in her convictions.

[TAMMY OBERLIN · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

4 stars. I listened via the Scribd audiobook.

I didn’t know what to expect from this book. I only saw a handful of shows and I never read any of the other books. This one intrigued me because it was NOT an annoying tell-all. It is her story in her own words. My book review is not typical but I’m choosing that method intentionally. Sorry for the length!

To be honest, some of the reviews I saw elsewhere after reading it were very unfair and shortsighted. Not once did I see it marketed as a salacious book that would throw her family or her former church under the bus. In fact, the first thing I saw was that she emphasized that it was NOT those things. She didn’t throw her family under the bus, speak to gossip, or anything of that nature. I applaud her for that. She wrote the book with grace and dignity rather than selling out to those who’d rather see her annihilate others. So I find it sad that some people viewed her book so negatively because she didn’t write a smarmy tell-all about her upbringing, her family, her brother, or anything of that nature.

Others criticized the more simplistic approach she took. She clearly states that she is not a professional writer, Pastor, scholar, etc. After all, how many ways can you share stories of your life and experience? How can someone’s experience be criticized or challenged? It is *her* life. She outright said this wasn’t a tell-all, that she loved her family, and she had a good childhood.

Her book is about HER spiritual journey. She’s not speaking for any other others, nor should she. She does share some pertinent stories from growing up but more so in the way of how the Gothard movement shaped her negatively in some ways because of all the rules that she felt were unattainable to reach.

There are plenty of people being misled by false teachers in the world or are believing in nothing at all. Some even view themselves as God. Is that any different than the fact that she and her family were misled? What the other people in her family do is between each of them and God. Again, their story isn’t her story. It isn’t for us to judge their sincerity.

Her book consistently talks of how loving her parents were/are and how close their family was/is. I felt she took a very classy and loving approach balancing honesty with some hard truths. Sure she could have lied and made up juicy stories to sell-sell-sell but she was honest and took the high road. Her goal in writing the book was to share her personal journey from being tangled up in feelings of fear and inadequacy in her walk with God due to Gothard’s legalistic teachings. Her faith in God was and is sincere but she recognized that Gothard was not teaching from the Bible like she thought. She came to find freedom in Christ and a true understanding of the Bible. She wanted to encourage others in similar situations to always search the Bible for verification. Sage and wise advice!

Yes, she does briefly touch on the subject of her brother Josh and the scandal surrounding him. I thought she did a good job of acknowledging his seriously poor choices and huge mistakes without making that a focus of her book and her story. Again, what HE did is not her story to tell. She shares what she discovered about Gothard and his unbiblical teachings and methods that caused confusion and fear. She often used Scripture to emphasize a point in her realizations, growing pains, and spiritual maturity. She also shared how she came to see that he is one of the false teachers the Bible warns us of and that he also was accused of serious offences against young women.

My only criticism, if you want to call it that, is that she often used the same words too much. At times it jumped around a little but it all came together in the end. I believe it was the end of chapter 12 that had me in tears at her love for Jesus because she recognizes that His love for her is everything.

So many of us are tied up in fear whether it be our future, our medical situation, our political climate, world issues, or whatever. She continually points toward the Bible for answers and guidance, to Jesus Christ’s love, mercy, forgiveness, and freedom. That was the point of her book. I feel those who missed that missed the best and most beautiful part of her story.

[Christy Myerscough · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Although I wasn't personally involved in IBLP or ATI, I was surprised to have Jonger hold a mirror up to my own face as I discovered how heavily I had been influenced by Gothard's teachings through the homeschool community and independent Baptist churches. It seems I also have some disentangling to do...

[Bethany Glozier · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I loved hearing her story of disentanglement and the beauty of finding Jesus at the end. My only thought is that as a sister in Christ a couple decades further along, I can guarantee the authority and confidence with what she spoke in this book would have better been a tad less “sure” because I can say with confidence should she write another book in 20 years she will have yet more clarity… there really is no actual arriving on the journey of truth, we just keep seeking, and God keeps revealing more and more of himself and his truth to us.

[Rusty Russell · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It’s an honest but tasteful book. She doesn’t hold punches when it comes to those who lead people astray but also shares the honest reality that her family (ie parents) we deceived into raising them in this “movement” (ie cult)

[Kara Coffman · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow. This book is so important for anyone who watched the Duggars and maybe had/have questions. Or anyone who has questions about legalism and faith! Highly recommend!! Thank you for this gem, Jinger.

[Melissa Burns · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Very interesting and I’m so happy that she has found freedom in Christ Alone!

[Michelle Schmidt · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I appreciated this book and am proud of Jinger for working through Scripture to reveal her beliefs that weren’t aligning with God’s Word! We are all a work in progress and won’t be complete until we are united with Christ!

[Liz Hamilton · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

If you’re looking for a “tell all”, this is not it. It is so much more. I learned so much about IBLP and Bill Gothard, and the book truly took you though the inner workings of his principles. I loved listening to her courageous and brave words as she told her story!

[Laura Hanstrom · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Kind and honest. Really enjoyed Jinger’s reflections on her journey of disentangling her faith and harmful teaching.

[Vanessa Honigman · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Hunger, thank you for your vulnerability, honesty and transparency in sharing your story. Your testimony has given me encouragement in my own journey to battle fear with God’s Word.

[Jess Mainous · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Very interesting to learn about the cult that the Duggars are in!
Loved Jinger’s emphasis on the Bible being about God and it being our ultimate authority.

[Meredith Schumacher · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Such a great book! I love how honest she is but also very compassionate at the same time.

[marybeth · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Amazing story of freedom found in Christ!! 10/10 would recommend!!

[Melody Lickert · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A truly beautiful story of finding Jesus. Thank you for sharing it with us Jinger ❤️❤️❤️

[Janette Seigler · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A worthwhile, helpful read. I greatly appreciate Jinger's heart and attitude in how she has processed the changes in her beliefs and practices. I will recommend this book!

[Charlene Prigge · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Thank you Jinger! In Christ alone, my all in all.

[Erika Campbell · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Amazing! Such an inspiring story of Faith !! Loved it!

[Jacob · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book is helpful for people who have been in bondage to man made religion which eclipses the true gospel of Jesus in scripture. Seeing the problem, seeing one’s need to leave and the healing process after the matter is well laid out. The book is a strong message to those who would consider giving up Christianity because they found themselves in this tread mill of legalism instead of Christ. It’s also is an interesting listen. I enjoyed it!

[chris · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wonderfully Written, Truly Honest & Inspiring Book!
Thank You & God Bless You

Christine

[Stevie Hart · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Done in such a classy and compassionate way. It is fascinating and actually contains good theology.

[Katie Bollinger · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Highly recommend! Poignant memoir on the journey to discovering the futility of legalism and man made rules and the importance of knowing what the Bible has to say for yourself.

[Becca · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This was such a great book. Although I didn’t grow up in IBLP, I did grow up in very conservative, legalistic Christianity. Reading this book put to words much of the process that I have been on in my own journey.

[Jessica Grissom · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It was an authentic journey of untangling and reconnecting. So many things resonated since I have done this type of work too. It takes a while to critically think, rewire the brain, and allow oneself to rest.

[TracyLynnAsbury · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It gave me a lot to chew on! I want to buy this for my older girls who have decided to start questioning things they have learned in church and school.

[Laura · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This audiobook was hard for me to get into at first, but I stuck with it. It ended up being thought provoking and encouraging. I am glad I gave it a chance.

[Brandi · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is so good and so convicting. I come from a house where my father was verbally and emotionally abusive and struggle big time with people pleasing and feeling like I always have to make the "right" choice or say the "right" thing and that I had to be "good enough" for God to love me.

Her discussion about IBLP and Bill Gothard was eye opening, although I grew up as a conservative, homeschooled student, my church and family did not follow Gothard, but I had many other homeschool friends who did. I was too young to understand the full implications of what was happening. I know better now, but to have it clarified was helpful.

It is so refreshing to hear from someone who has disentangled but not walked away from the truths of scripture.

[Bekah Page Turner · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Jinger explains her journey out of IBLP teachings. It is a memoir but not a tell all. It focuses on her path away from false teachings and into studying what the Bible really says. I like this book bc it helped me understand what is wrong with the IBLP teachings and the man who invented them.

[Anete · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Gracious, careful and loving critique of IBLP teachings. Helpful no matter on which side you are.